[Closed] Don't Order a Mojito

Only got as far as 'Manhattans Project' in the first line.

FFS.

Bellend.

It is nice sometimes to do as he says and trust a good barman. But no, * off, if I want a mojito I'll order one, I don't need your permission or to read your menu of other things I don't want before I order what I do.

OTOH,
"On Monday night we offered 25 percent-off drinks for people who came in and reminded me that David Cameron had *ed a pig."

Did make me lol. I hope they put that on the specials board.

i was so shocked by the voice in my head screaming the c word repeatedly as I read that that I forgot to read the comments at the bottom.

. I can tell in about ten minutes if someone is going to get laid or not.

What does he do, follow them home to check? He's full of shit.

At first glance he does appear to be a bout de cloche ("don't call it a fin du cloche in my post") but on further reading he's just an enthusiast:

"All these stories are certainly bollocks but are just delightful."

I got as far as Felix

Anyway Mojitos ??

So noughties

And they were rubbish then as well .... took bloody ages for them to be made and they were pretty much all ice.

"I'd like a minty, fruity rum drink please. I really like lime"
"oh, you want a mojito"
"good boy"

It's like someone has gone, "how can we end up on Get In The Sea?", and written an article accordingly.

shoreditch samurai innit

People Just Do Nothing nailed that one....
[img] [/img]

He's violated his own "No Being Creepy" rule right off the bat.

Unleash the Bombers.

dont worry, thats just a generic shoreditch samurai from http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01xw0xp

hes dissapontingly hairless in real life, but he is a roadie

assuming he's sporting a tw*tty beard and a topknot
shoreditch samurai innit

So that's what it's called then! Natural successor to the Hoxton Wedge, or have I airbrushed a decade or so?

Met a fella sporting said Samurai look at a do down in that there London the other day. Turned out to be a decent enough chap, but it took me a while to get beyond the "look"

There's a cocktail bar called in the West End called Lab. Most of the good cocktail guys train there. They do awesome versions of every classic you can think of, plus a shedload more. Given that they're not pretentious tossers they'll do you a Mojito if you want one, but you'd be missing a trick.

Talking of East End, jumped up tossers - many years ago mate of mine was contracted to run the pop up bar for the opening of 93 Feet East (hip Brick Lane club that keeps getting busted) and I was roped in to help run the bar. About 1am this little w*nker (with a Hoxton wedge) who was one of the owners grabs me and a mate,takes us to the horrendously blocked and overflowing toilets, produces a mop and tells us to get to it. Near as dammit used his head to do the job. As it was told him where to go and spent the rest of the night giving free drinks to all and sundry (no Mojitos more's the pity).

[img] [/img]

so this guys wrote an article about how amazing he and his bar is?

I think ill drive down right now to check it out...

The article comments very much echo this thread. I particularly enjoyed "know your place, functionary."

I’m terrified of being labelled a molecular mixologist or anything

"The London bar scene is banging - it's just so inclusive."

Unless you want a mohito, or vote tory, or want to stand up, or have a loud voice.

I actually wonder if its a piss take.

Please don’t walk into my bar and order a mojito. I have no problem with a mojito—the mojito is a fantastic drink—but my problem is that it suggests that you don’t want to read my menu.

Your want money you do as told! 🙄

I used to live round the corner from Gillet Street in Dalston. Miss it in a way. The great pulled pork war of 2012 was my lasting memory

I'm so achingly niche that I'm choosing not to buy any of his overpriced alcopops.

**** you am I a roadie. 456 Ti and a Santa Cruz Stigmata fwiw. And we've got good bike locks at the bar if any of you want a pint. 20% if you posted in this thread. No mojitos (I'm out of mint).

And, fwiw, you try chatting to a Vice journalist for an hour and a half and then being left at the mercy of what they actually want to publish.

Biscuits anyone?

Bloody classifieds only users....

Guess we know what a STW bar would be like now.

felixcohen - Member

Well, that escalated quickly.

Ha. Seriously, though, sorry the piece annoyed some of you. I didn't write it, I sat with a journalist who then transcribed and cherry picked the bits. For those of you saying 'take my money and do what I tell you', gtfo, everyone else, have a proper read of the article if you have a chance. Of course we make mojitos (and a lot of other fun, trashy drinks), it was just a great line for the journo to lead with. And we *are* called Manhattans Project, so perhaps you'd expect a bit more of a focus on whisky drinks!

And if anyone wants to give me a lift to Swinley on my very rare day off I'll chuck a bar tab your way. Otherwise I'll be stuck on the paltry olympic 'trails' for the foreseeable

god bless the internet

FWIW im still laughing uncontrollably at a thread started to show us all how much of a pretentious bellend you come across as Felix, then it turns out you are one of our own. 😆 😆 😆

Have my vote for the best STW thread ever.

also, FWIW, I love trying cocktails i've never had before, and the next time i venture to that London, i shall be visiting

But you do secretly hope the term "molecular mixologist" sticks don't you.

Sorry, best threads are still picolax, sudocreme cat and smuggling ducks.....

But you do secretly hope the term "molecular mixologist" sticks don't you.

I dunno, it sounds like an East London DJ to me.

Molecular I'm surprisingly ok with; I do weird stuff with as much science kit as I can lay my hands on. It's just 'mixologist' that sticks in the craw a bit. c.f http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1948/11/06/the-vocabulary-of-the-drinking-chamber

Fine, best post hack thread, IMO.

Fine, best post hack thread, IMO.

Sudocreme was post-hack.

TBH, as a [s]confirmed drunkard[/s] connoisseur of fine alcohols, what you're doing sounds quite interesting and it's good to do something different. Though as a vegetarian that bone marrow thing sounds utterly revolting and the spin in the article really doesn't do you any favours.

The rest of the forum will be along shortly to also shamelessly backpedal. Edinburgh Defence in 3... 2...

I thought the fella came across OK in the article actually

Massive lols that he's a rider and a forum member.

Edit - I've heard people talking about bicycles in far more dickwaddish ways on here to be honest. Still, I suppose we all like a good sneer from time to time.

This isn't even in the same league as Sudocreme cat.

The night is young, Padwan.

😀

Sudocreme was post-hack.

I know, I didnt laugh as hard, or as long at that one though.

20% if you posted in this thread

Do you do mail order? I'm in Inverness and can't get a Mohito for love nor money. 🙂

Molecular mixologist my arse, work in a molecular biology lab and at best you're working and order above molecular

That said, top bloke for being an stwer and defending yourself, and doing a job you believe in

It's also true I've had many, many more irritating conversations about cycling in bars, with some right ****s

Infact my lab isn't a million miles away from the Manhattan's project, but we are mostly real ale, craft beer hipster types and I also wear my hair in a high pony day to day, so erm yeah, might have a team outing to this Manhattan's project

I'm in Inverness and can't get a Mohito for love nor money.

Count yourself lucky. I'm in Accrington and we don't have either of those things.

Count yourself lucky. I'm in Accrington

tbh, you didn't need to add anything else.

Good point, well made.

I love cocktails. Trouble is, having been brought up on pints I gauge my intake through volume; as a consequence most cocktail nights I've been to usually end up with me staggering home about 30 minutes after arriving.

Do you do any that can be drunk in pint qtys that wouldn't involve the loss of all control over bodily functions, or run up a debt to shame a small country?

And if you can get down to Woking or Guildford by train I'll pick you up and show you around the decent trails near Swinley that aren't Swinley. And rather than a bar tab, I'll settle for a pint afterwards.

Do you do any that can be drunk in pint qtys that wouldn't involve the loss of all control over bodily functions, or run up a debt to shame a small country?

Lager top?

That's not a cocktail, that's a strong shandy.

That's not a cocktail, that's a strong shandy.

Play on an old joke.

southern yuppie type goes into a glasweigan pub..
'I'll have a lager top, please.'

gruff glasweigan landord..
'We donnay do cocktails...'

I love cocktails. Trouble is,

Trouble is, many "cocktail bars" charge silly money for half a pint of fruit juice with homeopathic amounts of alcohol.

Niche aside, I'd cheerfully pay good money for proper cocktails made by people who know what they're doing.

£1 from each drink goes to the Anthony Nolan blood cancer charity. Of course, I OKed it with him first—he thinks it’s hilarious.

That must've taken some doing. Seance?

Trouble is, many "cocktail bars" charge silly money for half a pint of fruit juice with homeopathic amounts of alcohol

This. I want my cocktail to be a shit ton of booze with just enough flavouring to stop it tasting like avgas.

Long island iced tea is a favourite *hic* 🙂

Hey Felix, make me a ****ing MOHEETOW!!!
Joking! fair play for chipping in and taking it all so well.

I'd cheerfully pay good money for proper cocktails made by people who know what they're doing.

I think you'll find that's what they call a 'Mixologist'

Should've opened with the 'No Tories' rule 🙂

Gawd you lot.

You just hate anyone with a bit of flavour and spike about them dontcha...

I think he has a point, a point well made and yes I'd go and share a cocktail over there..

What I wanna know is Felix really your name ?

Are you sure you haven't made it up ?

£1 from each drink goes to the Anthony Nolan blood cancer charity. Of course, I OKed it with him first—he thinks it’s hilarious.
That must've taken some doing. Seance?

Probably not, it was John Underwood that was being referred to. Do try to keep up at the back 😛

Thread of the night BTW, one of many pretentious arseholes turns out to be a cocktail bartender, couldn't make it up... 😉

Good comeback from Mr Cohen!

I actually read the article as a bit of a light hearted piss take

It's a wind up. Bellends like that would have been rubbed out before achieving bartender age, surely.

It’s weird being hard-left wing in a luxury industry but I try my hardest.

Apart from disagreeing about Mojito's , I'm with Felix.
Bravo chap.
What day is your day off? 😀

This thread just shows how provincial most of you are with a guillable attitude to how media/journalism works. 🙄
Might pop in with the lady and order an old fashioned and a martini, if you can't do the basics well.... 😉

Count yourself lucky. I'm in Accrington

tbh, you didn't need to add anything else.

At least you're not in Oswaldtwistle!

When you click open a harmless looking singletrackworld thread to glaze over for a moment whilst sat on the bog, and then 45 minutes later you're still crying and you're late for work!

Oops 😳

Quality STW moment, well done everyone 🙂

However

And we *are* called Manhattans Project

Anyone else think that's in poor taste?

And we *are* called Manhattans Project
Anyone else think that's in poor taste?

I am become "mixologist". The destroyer of pints.

Fantastic bit of morning reading - thank you everyone!

Manhattans Project is a great name. Split the beer atom!

I think bad taste would be complaining about the name, while living in a nuclear armed state, tbh 😆

I am become "mixologist". The destroyer of pints.

That, on the other hand, was funny.

At least you're not in Oswaldtwistle!

Ozzy would be an upgrade.

Actually, Beirut would be an upgrade.

£1 from each drink goes to the Anthony Nolan blood cancer charity. Of course, I OKed it with him first—he thinks it’s hilarious.

They cost more than a quid each!!!!!??!

Re the name being in bad taste...I do hear where you're coming from. I've had lots of chats with people wiser and more right on than me about it. We're not celebrating the Manhattan Project in any way (unlike, say Death Row Dinners), it's just a pun on the drink name (bear in mind this was originally just supposed to be my blog about Manhattans in london) that's got a bit out of hand. We do not endorse nuclear war!

@kimber the molecular mixology 'thing' comes from molecular gastronomy (ie Heston etc). I do get to play with a lot of acids/enzymes/rotovap, and I'm saving up for a centrifuge, but yep, not trying to pretend I'm a biochemist.

For those of you looking for pint size cocktails that don't blow the bank, there's always the Beergroni (pint of decent IPA with a shot of campari and a shot of sweet vermouth) or the PIna Colager (which I'm not 100% sure of the spec, but IPA + malibu + pineapple + lime, I think).

Surely someone can lay into me for running 1x10 with a chain device or something worthwhile, anyway 😉

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We do not endorse nuclear war!

.....but we do recommend you try the "Global Thermonuclear Apocalypse"
It's one part Russian vodka, two parts American Cream Soda with an Israeli fig, served in a China teacup and accompanied by a Syrian hamster. All over I.S. 😯