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Purely Hypothetically 😉
Imagine you were out for a night ride and saw a few blokes stood around a car. Riding past, you glance in the car and notice that it is the lady who lives just up the road from you, legs a-kimbo pleasuring herself with a cucumber.
She looks at you and there is a flash of panic as she recognises you but you ride on rather than stopping for a chat.
Next day you are about to post a letter and see her in her front garden mowing the lawn. Do I wait until she goes inside, walk past with a cheery hello and pretend nothing happened or give her a wink and kick in her back doors?
c) go shopping for cucumbers
Next day you are about to post a letter and see her in her front garden 'mowing the lawn'
How brazen? You would be arrested for that round here....
I take it you're still unemployed?
ask her to toss your salad! 😯
I take it you're still unemployed?
new job as a fluffer maybe?
Did you dream this ? change your sheets man !!!
Changed from the third person to the first there, WCA.....
d)take a camcorder
I was just going to post a job app actually.
Mowing the lawn was the nicest thing I could think of saying, she was actaully trimming her bush. I thought that might be misconstrued though.
go over, and politely mention you've got some left over marrows she might like.
WCA, what lovely neighbours you have! Hypothetically, understandably.
Is she fit?
Should've given a cheery hello.
Who knows,she may have invited you in for a brew & a 'cucumber sandwich'!! 😯
Harry - She is quite fit actually and a loose fitting top is not helping my blood pressure when she bends forward to pick up the clippings. Hypothetically.
Oh, go on then....someone has to do it, may as well be me.
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Imagine you were out for a night ride
Sure you were out for a ride, not a cruise to see some action?
Quite strange really. I wonder what my other neighbours get up to in their spare time.
Actually, most are pensioners so I don't want to think about it.
In that case I'd say nowt, but next time you ride past the dogging spot switch your lights off so she can't see you ... er... coming.
CFH - I think walking past to post a letter and then taking a picture of her might not be the correct social ettiquette.
I will see if she is on facebook or similar and post a link to her profile perhaps.
I'm STILL utterly amazed about that Toyota Yaris I saw a couple of summers ago with one lad and two young girls all at it in there clothesless. I almost banged on the car and shouted arrrghh you lucky bastard!!!!
Passed a Peugeot the other night with 4 very glum looking (fully dressed) farmer's lads in it, staring out through a haze of dope smoke. Presumably the local "Cucumber Lady" had failed to show...
I'm amazed anyone could pull owt driving a Yaris. Never mind two
I already know what a cucumber looks like...
Something like this woman -
WCA- her? Hmmmm Jade Goody seperated at birth
#
binners - MemberI'm amazed anyone could pull owt driving a Yaris. Never mind two
Posted 8 minutes ago # Report-Post
Smee surely does [img]
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I'm amazed anyone could pull owt driving a Yaris. Never mind two
How can you drive two Yarises?
In any case, if ever there was a thread that's useless without pics, this is it. Embrace your inner papparazo.
Can't see! Can't see!
Did the cucumber die in vain?
This had better not be another one of your trolls Mr WCA, especially as you have outed the cucumber muncher. 😯
WCA Arnt you in the soton/new forest area???
i might have to go for a nite ride soon!
How can you drive two Yarises?
You don't drive them, you put one on each foot and skate along on them.
Next time I see something like that I'm just going to drop my shorts and start beating one out over the sidewindow 8)
Just walk past with a cheery 'hello', and pretend nowt happened.
Not a big deal though, is it?
Best thing is if she does not in any way think you're a nasty type who might tell everyone.
Everyone's a bit kinky; I don't see the harm in people being a bit exhibitionist. I mean, everyone looks at pron, so what's the difference?
FLOL at hora 🙂
Rudeboy...
I'd be inclined to agree apart from the fact that I've had a couple of my favourite spots for a night stroll/biking trailheads turned into porntastic dogging spots where you feel particularly unwelcome, embarrassed and mildly disgusted by being there. Take, for example, my local beach - used by me and others for dog walking, horse riding, sunbathing and kitesurfing. Apparently now its a hot dogging spot and the local doggers are out peering through bushes and having a ham shank over you and your missus when you're just there to sit in the sun or have a walk at night near the sea. Again at one of my local riding spots I often came back to my car and had to get changed and pack the car while there are bunches of people stood around fiddling in (and over) the car parked NEXT to my car. I've actually had to chase one chap at the beach, who repeatedly came back and stood pleasuring himself in the tall grass while my missus lay on the sand.
I'm all for personal freedoms within reason, but when it's making the rest of the public want to avoid places I think it's a step too far.
In this case I think I'd probably not say anything, but I'd not avoid her just because she put me in that situation.
Think thats called seagulling, Hora. So my young student pals tell me.
It would all be resolved if we all wore helmets.
Interesting quote from that facebook page that WCA posted:
(in line at the grocery store)
Amber: "That lady is buying one cucumber. I wonder what she's going to do with THAT!"
Katie: "... make a salad?"
"seagulling" 😆
Does one need to make a AWWWWKK AWWWK AWKKK noise when they soil the car so to speak?
LMFAO @ Hora!
I'd put a sign in her front garden. "Get more from your Veg - Free demonstration at ....."
Send her a complementary ticket to BBB and give her a reserved spot in a quiet corner of the car park, or a stand in the trade and demonstrations area.
is there a produce section at the BBB trade and demonstrations area?
You could enter her in the vegetable department.....
Surely it would be the cucumber entering her?!
Dear god I've not laughed so much in weeks
LMFAO @ jojoA1
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Allegedly, these are a form of cucumber. 😯
What sort of pervert would want to frig themselves off on one of them in the back of a car whilst total strangers are watching/helping themselves?
Come on, get real. This is meant to be serious.
I suspect many.
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No point, WCA. After that, you'd barely even touch the sid....
No, I'll stop there. 😉
[i]I suspect many.[/i]
I suspect all of 'em.
Harry the spider, I would say that fantasising about it would be quite normal, doing it, however, I personally would consider less so.
fantasising about it would be quite normal
would you now.... 😉
CFH - she is blond, the lady in your picture has dark hair...
... Oh, I see what you mean.
Stoner - Memberfantasising about it would be quite normal
would you now....
I meant in the sense that whatever happens inside your head can't harm anyone, it's bringing it 'outside', so to speak that causes the problems..... And well you know it you naughty boy!! 😛
Don't you know they have genetically engineered a variety of cucumber specifically for women?
[img] http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicubunu/2777050485/ [/img]
My god, it's innuendo central in this thread! I almost feel at home!
If you're looking for an example of innuendo, I'll give you one...
😀 (mental note made)
Seagulling, I'm still laughing over that bit 😆
Big Dummy; Sea Cucumbers are a type of animal thingy, not a vegetable.
Although those look particularly 'Ann Summers'.
hough those look particularly 'Ann Summers'.
Ribbed for her pleasure.....
There are certain people on STW who should take careful note of this thread.
(and I think you knwo who I'm talking about....)
THIS is trolling at it's FINEST, by the undisputed master of Trolls.
Super thread, [u]this[/u] is why I hang around here so much
Cheers for the laffs, WCA
😀
Depends on who your neighbour is I would say. I used to have a neighbour who I would have happily watched stuff all manner of grocery items up 'there'.
I was going to try and add something to this thread but you guys seem to be doing fine on your own.
Oh salad days
Marvellous! You british and your attitude to sex is so amazing, here in the Peoples Republic of Mancunia, we would have stopped and applauded. Nice lady getting her satisfaction and helping others; it's virtually a public service.
(in line at the grocery store)
Amber: "That lady is buying one cucumber. I wonder what she's going to do with THAT!"
Katie: "... make a salad?"
...from the facebook group said lady is part of...
Incidentally I'm not against people "dogging" - I just wish they would do it elsewhere so I can get on with biking/kiting/sunbathing. Just thought I'd shed any doubt that I'm prudish 🙂
Nevermind dogging, seen that japanese robot woman on the news? Anyone else thinking what i'm thinking? 🙄
Seagulling eeeeee 😆
Re: the robot girl on the news, she's very kawai, but the ultimate version is Ping on MegaTokio.com. Loving this thread, so thankful I'm not reading it at work. Thanks WCA, appreciate it very much. 😯
Captain should that be with not in? 😆
Was the cucunmber organic,you should ask her as it would be a great way to strike up conversation with her and warn her about the hazards of pesticides, it could give her a nasty rash. Presumably she wash her cucumber first.
hora - Member
Nevermind dogging, seen that japanese robot woman on the news? Anyone else thinking what i'm thinking?
Yes...
JulianA - Memberhora - Member
Nevermind dogging, seen that japanese robot woman on the news? Anyone else thinking what i'm thinking?Yes...
mmm GT85
So how big was the cucumber? Just wondering
Seagulling marvellous!