[Closed] Dog shit megathread*

rub their nose in it

Put the dog shit on the door steps of the dog owners property..

It's not the dogs that're the problem here. It's the owners.

[img] [/img]

Don’t thank me, thank Farmer Giles.

Cut the Alsatians head off and place it on a spike on your lawn, this will frighten the lab off. Job done.

Lion faeces should do the trick. 😈

Return to sender.

It's not the dogs that're the problem here. It's the owners.

The owners are shitting in the garden?

Eat nothing but all bran for 3 days whilst taking imodium then curl one out on the lawn that is big enough to show your dominance and they wont do it again... trust me

The owners are shitting in the garden?

Dressing up in dog costumes first but yeah, probably.

Both owners allow their dogs to roam freely at night?

can you use a stun gun to Polish a turd?

Dogs are territorial therefore you need to demonstrate that this is your territory and that you are big and aggresive enough to defend it. Like this: [img] [/img]

maccruiskeen - Member

can you use a stun gun to Polish a turd?

I see it.

Okay, has anyone bought any kind of motion activated dog repellent? Or any of the sprays? do they work?

Fence?

surely you want to repel before it shits rather than during

Mace, apparently it's good for taking out bloody great Bengal tigers!

Airgun?

ads678 - Member

Fence?

I have a fence, and a hedge. But they sneak in through little gaps. I think what's going on here is that these two bitches are having a territorial dispute and my garden is no mans land.

jekkyl - Member

Airgun?

Need a firearms licence to own one here. Would cost the same (and require the same application to buy a .22 rifle.

It's the owners, nothing enrages me more (that's a lie but it's right up there) than dog owners who don't pick up.

It really really grinds me, I have a puppy, he's about 4 months now, and it's so easy and cheap to dispose of the poop by carrying some poopie bags, and I'm well aware of how annoying it is to others to get it all over thier shoes or bike tyres.

There's simply no excuse for it.

Bizarrely it's a problem in my town rather than further out on the canal..

.. That said there is a nature trail nearby and I sat down on the bench only to realise the surrounding floor, and subsequently my shoes were covered in dog crap.

It's not a dog thing, it's an irrisponisble dog owner thing.

Mace, apparently it's good for taking out bloody great Bengal tigers!

I'd imagine a mace is pretty effective but I'd feel safer using something with a longer handle

[img] [/img]

mattyfez - Member

It's the owners,

Yes it is, but they aren't taking them for walks and not scooping up - they are letting them out for their late night dumps and they are sneaking into my garden. In fairness to the Labrador owner she did spot it doing a poo once and came round with a shovel and got rid but the other crowd.....I suspect they know but don't care. That being said they could easily deny all knowledge since my house is on up and hill and round a corner from theirs and surrounded by the afformentioned hedge.

has anyone bought any kind of motion activated dog repellent

Punch the owner square on the nose if they don't clean up.

Ask them politely and offer them a poopie bag first tho.

I have a fence, and a hedge. But they sneak in through little gaps

the 'little' labrador and alsatian sized gaps? 😆

Don't rub the dogs' noses in it. They're nothing but mammals
Doing shit like they do on the Discovery channel
It's the owners
Who let the dogs out

So rub their noses in it

Sorry, I don't condone violence, but as a bike rider and dog owner, I find it repugnant that people can leave dog shit laying about.

What Cloudnine & Jamie said, except take photos of said dogs having dumps.
Take each dump (in bag or otherwise) leave on doorstep/post through letterbox/whatever, with photos as evidence.

Place offending tolie inside paper bag, place said bag on owners doorstep, and set on fire.

Chap door, walk away.

Owner comes out in his tk maxx faux suede moccasins and stamps out fire.

Shitey moccasins for him, smug warm feeling for you*.

* we may have did this as kids....

maccruiskeen - Member

I have a fence, and a hedge. But they sneak in through little gaps

the 'little' labrador and alsatian sized gaps?

You'd be surprised what they can get over, or under when correctly motivated. Bottom line is I can't make my entire property completely dog proof. Nor do I want that hassle.

Replace your entire garden with lava

Trebuchet, either small for the shit or large for the dog.

[img] [/img]

That’s a great idea brakes! Trap a bear and then keep it in the garden. No way will the dogs be laying a trespass log then.

Every time you need to visit the toilet, go knock on your neighbour's door, and when he answers it, walk straight past into the loo. Once in place, do your business, avoid any use of air freshener or open windows, and leave.

Just don't forget to wash your hands.

PIR sensor linked via a relay to a 12v car battery. The relay is attached to an electric car window winder which is in turn linked to a hozelock power activator and either a sprinkler (or in my case, the pressure washer). This rig managed to permanently stop the neighbours cats shitting on my gardens.

Or just buy a paintball gun.

I used a catapult to end my cat crap problem.

[img] [/img]

Bowl of Pedigree Chum, sachet of Picolax, wait for dogs to return home.

If I could've, I would've.

Super soaker full of your piss- drench dog....

Works on cats also.

grizedaleforest - Member
Dogs are territorial therefore you need to demonstrate that this is your territory and that you are big and aggresive enough to defend it.

Many years ago my wife got dressed up in a tiger suit for a fancy dress party and thought it would be a good idea to give the dog a fright by jumping out at it and roaring.

There was a fright alright.

The dog launched itself straight at her throat, full fangs extended, not even a growl, no hesitation. Luckily she managed to squeak its name at the last moment.

Seeing as it was a Great Dane Wolfhound X the impact was considerable.

Our great hairy placid lovable lump turned out to be a much better guard dog than we realised. 🙂

Oh, and if anyone thinks they have a dog turd problem, they should see what I have to shovel out of my backyard every morning from our current Great Dane Wolfhound X....

Hire me.

Email in profile.

PPG or you pay fees.

I live in Kent so you also pay travel costs.

[img] [/img]

Admittedly this is for cats pissing but I'm sure you could scale up appropriately.

Fill the gaps in your fence, send the bill to the owners.

Post the poop back through their letter box with a note
"returning to sender x 🙂 "

Camp out in the garden lying in wait for said dogs, spray pepper up their nose.

Set of bombers?

Do all Aussies look like Pat Cash?

Would need to be combined with oldmanmtb's piss-filled super-soaker for maximum enjoyment.

I bought a motion activated sprinkler from amazon for about £20
it stopped the cats I was having the same problem with.

lasted about 18mths before it died, and I haven't yet replaced it, as the cats have learnt to avoid my garden.

once they start again, I will have no hesitation in getting another.

might not be this one, but looks more or less the same

https://www.amazon.co.uk/PestBye-Battery-Operated-Activated-Repellent/dp/B004YCUT4W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1512463740&sr=8-1&keywords=motion+activated+sprinkler

Bowl of Pedigree Chum, sachet of Picolax, wait for dogs to return home.

😆 😆 😆

Bowl of Pedigree Chum, sachet of Picolax, wait for dogs to return home.

Yeh, but when the dog needs the loo, it whines at the door, then gets let out to explosively decompress in the OP's back garden. A plan that literally backfires in the worst way possible.

We have similar problems, and also get fox and badger crap as well.

Suggestions to dissuade those beasts were to scatter chopped chilies over the area or shake/spray hot sauce around on the lawn. Haven't yet done that, but have (ahem) marked my territory (ahem) which appears to have reduced the incidences of random animal crappage...

Seriously, why don't you just block any gaps so they can't come through?
Or (not so seriously) get your own dog, like a Ridgeback so they don't stray over into his land.

Nah. Don't put up with that. Buy some see through freezer bags, pick up the doings and pop them politely but visibly on top of offenders' wheelie bins. They'll soon get the message.

When the dog you dont like triggers your lights take pics or videos and use these to speak to the owner and inform them if nothing is done you'll re approach GARDA (what is GARDA?)

what is GARDA?

Police force of Republic of Ireland, so they are.

Keep it simple. If you catch a dog doing it, bag the shit up, take it round to the neighbour, empty the bag by their front door and shout a bit. They'll soon get bored and deal with it.

Deploy the tranquilliser sausage?

perchypanther - Member
Deploy the tranquilliser sausage?

(c) any middle-aged white male in Hollywood.

I live in a small, picturesque village. We've new people who've moved in a few doors down and suddenly the pavement in our street is spattered with dog eggs all over the place.

If I identify the culprits' owners then I'm going to bag it up for them and post it through their letter box.

Actually, typing the above made me so angry that I've submitted a report to Fix My Street.

I'm now only a step away from subscribing to the Daily Mail and existing in perpetual rage at any anti-social behaviour, real or imagined.

In a previous house I delivered dog shits back to their owners a few times. Turd on the doorstep is a pretty clear message.

If you want to send a stronger signal then wiping the turd under the door handles of the owner's car.

Another alternative is to get the dogs to clean up after themselves. Big cheap bag of grated cheese from the supermarket, sprinkle liberally over turd. The theory is that the next dog to come along wolfs down the lot.

Ex next door neighbor decided our cat was to blame for all the crap in his garden, so bagged it and called round and handed it to my wife - on the day of her father's funeral.

Things escalated.
They've moved now.

Try and be diplomatic.
🙂

Be thankful it's dog poop and not some of the cat crap I've had to encounter. Funny how a dog owner can get a fine but a cat owner cant.

It wasn't our cat.
🙂

Soppy old thing used to crap in our garden.

[i]Funny how a dog owner can get a fine[/i]

I think that's only on public land though. They can crap in whoever's garden they like (well, their dogs can).

Be thankful it's dog poop and not some of the cat crap I've had to encounter. Funny how a dog owner can get a fine but a cat owner cant.

I totally agree. In my old house my neighbour had a cat that would shit in my garden every night. I asked him what he would do if I lifted a dog over his fence and allowed it to shit in his garden. He went nuts and said it was totally diferent as you can't control cats.

Obvious answer, don't own any animal that you can't control.

And why are horse owners allowed to let their animals dump on the pavement?

What bikebouy said..... try and get hold of some second hand electric fence/string off ebay. You'll only need it for a short while because once the dogs have been zapped once I can guarantee they won't be coming back so you could then sell it again!
(You can replace the electric string with normal string to put the frighteners on the dogs once the real stuff has gone.)

PIR sensor linked via a relay to a 12v car battery. The relay is attached to an electric car window winder which is in turn linked to a hozelock power activator and either a sprinkler (or in my case, the pressure washer).

And why are horse owners allowed to let their animals dump on the pavement?

Would you argue with a horse?

Airsoft bb gun

[i]don't own any animal that you can't control.[/i]

Ban all pet cats?

i would simply shovel it up and deposit it on the offending neighbors car.

we had a neighbour's dog visit our garden a few times, each time it visited it just had a sniff around then left. but then it did a wee on the kid's trampoline. it didn't come back after I gave it a good boot up the arse.
true story.

Obvious answer, don't own any animal that you can't control.

You don't have any children then...

Ban all pet cats?

Ban all wildlife murdering, garden shitting, fighting and searching, self serving cats?

Okay then! Why not?

this but slightly bigger?

Wrap it in paper, put it on the owners drive and set fire to it. Ring bell and run off.

We went kitesurfing to Tarifa and stayed in a nice little hotel near the beach.
Every couple of days we would get the gear out, put it on the hotel lawns and with the manager's blessing we hosed the gear down and got the salt off it. Then a guest turned up in a motor home with two Alsatians that crapped everywhere on the lawns and he never cleaned up after them. We saved the crap up for a couple of days and then coated his windscreen and windows plus the inside of his door handles.
He got the message.

You know those curved ball throwing sticks that dog owners love?
Buy one . Load up with turds , launch at neighbours front door.
I would imagine the 'whump' of a good sized dog egg flattening itself against the door will give you a feel good feeling, but will also prompt the neighbours to open the door.

The ensuing ' Oh my friggin god , What the .... who would do such a thing .... You barstewards ...SHARON .... SHARON , get yourself out here now ... .. LOOK , Just look . Look There is turd all over the letterbox" would be worth filming, from a long , long way away