[Closed] Do you remember your first time?

Yep, I asked if a faster rolling rear tyre would try to overtake the front....I is a dumb-arse!! 😳

Yeah, remember back when the Red Arrows bloke crashed and died, very sad.

I said something I thought witty, actually was in very poor taste and I tried in vein to backtrack, no chance.
I was only on here a couple of weeks then. Loooooong time ago now, but I learned something about posting on here.

😕

Next you need to start a forum war with a big hitter...or get your grammar wrong

.....getting a beasting on here of course!

If you want to play with the big hitters you've got to be able to take a good pounding 😉

Had plenty in my time, mainly over the workshop build!

By the way, anyone know where johndoh works, I was going to ring up and try and poach some of his staff.....

Yep, I asked if a faster rolling rear tyre would try to overtake the front....I is a dumb-arse!!

Mine did that yesterday on a descent, so it's not that daft a question.

By the way, anyone know where johndoh works, I was going to ring up and try and poach some of his staff.....

😆

You don't want any of that lot. They're all slackers. Spend all day on the phone looking for another job.

They're all slackers. Spend all day on the phone looking for another job.

They must take after their boss who spends all day on here moaning about his staff 😉

Not moaning about my staff at all... In fact the person they were attempting to contact is great, can't fault him.

I tend to make pertinent and pointed comments to anyone wanting to get into Buy To Let, which rarely goes down well. The responses are usually defensive rather than getting a beasting though...

It can be risky if you ever point out that riding Primary is recommended by Bikeability for managing bad drivers and keeping yourself safe...

I attracted the wrath of the STW plumbing massive by casting aspersions about the honesty and competency of the surprisingly large number of "their kind" who had been round, not been able to fix the problem, other than suggesting I spend lots of money replacing something which I didn't think was the problem, and in the case of the original plumber that caused the problem, continually lying about what they'd done, what they'd not done, when they were going to return calls, attend etc etc.

It was all my fault apparently, and I deserved all I got for disbelieving the professionals. Client from Hell etc etc.

(I ended up fixing it myself after half an hour on youTube. The expensive thing that half a dozen plumbers told me was dead and needed replacing is still working perfectly to this day).

I think mine was asking, innocently at the time, "what tyres" followed by "are Conti Vapours any good".

Oddly, right now I feel this is the first time in STW history that someone in recruitment is not on the end of a hammering.

I once posted up about telling off a woman for picking all the daffodils in a local field.
Blimy you would have thought I'd murdered a kitten.

I've received emailed death threats for a thread where i was flippantly (but not seriously) on about casually killing dogs.

The goading, sarcy replies, asking about the details of my impending demise, kept me amused for a while though!

I figured if someone was the kind of person who was going to murder me, they probably wouldn't inform me of the fact via the medium of email first 😀

I once murdered a kitten.
Blimy you would have thought I'd told a woman off for picking all the daffodils in a local field.

I remember someone getting their knickers in a twist on a thread about being barefoot at work ( at least I think that was what it was about). I'd made some comment about me wearing Vibram Fivefingers shoes and the guy went postal at me because he'd made assumptions about stuff I'd not said. It was all very weird. Don't think he's on here any more.

Assumptions about things you never said? You ****ing monster...

I figured if someone was the kind of person who was going to murder me, they probably wouldn't inform me of the fact via the medium of email first

Which is why I didn't email you. I will strike you down without warning, dog-hater!

Oh.

I've had a couple...

One was regarding taking my children out of school for holiday - where I let my dislike of the useless school headteacher out into the open and people saw it as a general attack on teachers... Just in case people want to see if I was justified - the headteacher is currently suspended and being investigated

Another was a thread where I suggested that insulting people because they had faith was a bit out of order. This didn't go down to well.

In general though there are some people on here who are arses all the time. Some (Including me) who are arses occasionally and a lot of people who are pretty ace all in. I would include a couple of the precious posters on that latter list.

In fact the person they were attempting to contact is great, can't fault him.

Yet. Let's see what happens when he gives you the news

I once said seat stem instead of seat post, it was 11 ish at night after much wine, bloody hell I may have well as slagged off the queens corgis as strays.

I read the title and was dreamily thinking of my 'first time' 20+ years ago now those hazy lazy days and I have aged a fair bit better than she has but I like to remember us then.....

*no longer with the lady in question

Yes , posted a thread about scented ironing water, never having heard of it and was it a girl thing.
Oh my , the resulting thread was more akin to Mumsnet than STW.

I got a load a while ago for trying to be funny on a thread about that naked rambler fella. Think he was being warned about going near kids playgrounds or something and my sarcasm didn't come across in my post. I played with a few posters who thought I was being serious but it got boring really quickly.

Now I make sure I use winky faces if I'm being sarcy...

And a thread about being proud to be English and the Georges cross, apparently I shouldn't be bothered if people assume I'm racist if I display a St Georges cross flag, which I don't generally do but.......

Started a thread about Dodgy classifieds, Tried covering my tracks and it didn't work and it kept getting bumped daily and weekly for about 6 months.

Lesson learnt 8)

I quickly learned that Andy was a loser even though he won but that Tim was a winner even though he lost. All something to do with supporting anyone but England, but I can't really remember...

luckily for me I used the search function before asking a stupid question about headsets - still trawling through the thread to find the answer mind

I haven't had a 'first time' yet, do I win a prize?

It's all about picking your moments and topics on here as I have learnt. Generally, keep it non-commital as any opinion not in vogue with the regulars will result in some form of mockery, derision and possibly ban... 🙄

Sometimes, it gets all a bit 'northern male ego' , which I now find quaintly amusing. Steer clear of saying anything that may have shades of grey, or may instigate any hidden personal fears from those reading and you'll be fine!

The comedic value from time to time and the sheer depth and breadth of knowledge on here is however it's major plus point for me and as such am a daily visitor.

Unlike the early years, I now no longer mention this place to anyone out on the trails, and if it gets mentioned, I keep shtum. Make of that what you will.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest 😀

I now no longer mention this place to anyone

Me too! I'm ashamed of my association with it. It's like a dark-dirty secret. I'm not sure I've ever met any cyclist IRL who would admit to being on here, even ones I've met who I know are. It's like we are all somehow justifiably ashamed of this. I've only ever referred to it as 'a forum'.

I think I just follow some simple assumptions. In that:

(a) arguing on the internet is for total bellends

...and that

(b) raising point X on STW will always inevitably result in response Y.

This does somewhat restrict my potential contributions to this haunt of fellow obsessive-compulsive, socially inept cyclists, but I guess it saves time for everyone involved! 😀

I don't know if I had any but I certainly know I am [u][b]ALWAYS[/b][/u] right! 😆

You lot are wrong! 😆

Ah yes, around five years ago now, no other than that there Elf as well 🙂

http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/ride-of-my-life-the-story-of-the-bicycle

think i only ever had one, back in the day when i was naive 😀

car parked outside our house for days on end with a for sale sticker on it. i asked if this was legal. ooooooooooooooh what a mistaker da maker 😀

I get a shoeing quite regularly from a couple of people on here - seem to pick up on things I comment on and dive right in. It's not helping my paranoia, I can tell you.

I once bitched about some of the group I rode with - turned out one of them was a forum lurker. Beasting doesn't begin to cover the rollocking he gave me on the next ride. Physically and verbally.

It's not helping my paranoia, I can tell you.

You're not paranoid.

We [i]are[/i] out to get you.

Ah yes, around five years ago now, no other than that there Elf as well

Mine was probably from him too. Look how well that worked out. (-:

I once suggested that as a teacher one of the posters on here who " would shoot all the members of the royal family" seemed a bit strong as a few of them are as it turns out are children and I thought it was at odds with his profession. He got a bit upset and suggested that as I'd never conversed with him before that I should but out. It was then I knew I had been breasted by a big hitter... It felt good..

I have no idea. I'm just going to assume my first post was me saying hello and the first response was GW calling me a **** 😆

chewkw - Member

I don't know if I had any but I certainly know I am ALWAYS right!

What happens if you disagree with Jambalaya?

[img] [/img]

I got accused of ****ing myself off in front of a mirror for pointing out that someone was buying stuff from TK Max and flogging it for a profit on the classifieds. 😆

Northwind - Member

chewkw - Member
I don't know if I had any but I certainly know I am ALWAYS right!

What happens if you disagree with Jambalaya?

Jambalaya is very good at backing up his arguments with logic to convince you lot, whereas I just skipped everything in between by getting to the ending. Coz I can see you lot coming! 😆

I only agree with myself so everyone should bow down no exception coz I is fair. Everyone is ZM! Fact!

Who is that mighty good looking bloke with wisdom in my mirror looking back at me?

You in the mirror you looking at me?

Ya, you got that right not you lot!

I love me! Me! 😆

chewkw - Member

Who is that mighty good looking bloke with wisdom in my mirror looking back at me?

Apparently it's singlespeedstu having a ****

Northwind - Member

chewkw - Member
Who is that mighty good looking bloke with wisdom in my mirror looking back at me?

Apparently it's singlespeedstu having a ****

😯

It's ok, he's doing it front of a mirror.

Easy wipe off and all that.

I think my first was commenting on a ST article where the journo suggested the high spoke tensions made the wheels he was testing stiffer 😈

Can I just say that I only **** myself off in front of chewkw's mirror these days.
While wearing his best pants obviously.
Sorry for the stains chewkw.

singlespeedstu - Member
Can I just say that I only **** myself off in front of chewkw's mirror these days.
While wearing his best pants obviously.
Sorry for the stains chewkw.

Ya, try not to over do it or you end up like Chris Griffin.

Back in the internet dark ages around 12 years ago I joined the bikemagic forum. I had just built this fine fellow who now adorns the Strathpuffer course. I posted a thread about it.
[img] [/img]

What followed was a tag team vitriol spewing ****fest from two guys called Kato and Baron Grinder something or other.
I still remember being totally taken aback at the sheer weirdness of it, my first experience of total fuds being let loose with a keyboard and anonymity.

No doubt they were really top bantz guys in 'real' life though...

This thread has raised a smile, my biggest Faux pas was to do with leaving locks on street furniture 😉

He's moved:

[url= https://farm1.staticflickr.com/40/79857254_da31f86e45.jp g" target="_blank">https://farm1.staticflickr.com/40/79857254_da31f86e45.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/84hMd ]MTB mascot Contin Forest (Strathpeffer)[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/brf/ ]Ben Freeman[/url], on Flickr

What caused surf matts great flounce, some driving thread I think.

Almost six years to the day I sustained a bad injury and gave a little safety advice.

Christ. I felt like I'd been strafed by an A-10.

What caused surf matts great flounce, some driving thread I think.

It might have been the final straw but he received endless ridicule whenever he posted. Shame, I liked him. Although no one deserves that imo.

Ahh, smurf matt, brings back memories (for balance I have met "the prawn" & liked him & his totally different STW persona BTW) 😉

Jeesh Derek... 6 years from the bar-belly interface..time flies!

DrP

footflaps, that's puffer Bill's original place on the Contin XC course. My pic is in Square wheels Steve's garden after a refurb when he'd been vandalised. He's now halfway round the 'puffer course, in need of a freshen up before this Winter's 'puffer.

Six years since the bar/belly interface Derek S!? Unreal!

Yep. Six years since my impressively resilient rectus sheath (consultant's words)
prevented a potentially catastrophic intra-abdominal injury.

And the STW response?

How's the baby?

In retrospect, hilarious!

How's the baby?

Well no longer a baby apparently.......a 6 year old toddler now.

derek.
we need pics to remind us all of just how bad/funny they were.
🙂

Paging Makem, Makem to the forum please...

Beasted? Moi?

Wow I remember that bruise - Really 6 years ago?? I once asked if I could borrow a key ring and it all went a bit bandy...

My first beasting in this guise (I had loads when I was new to the forum for being an asshat) was when I suggested that the most dishonest man in the bicycle industry, Neil from superstar, stop fannying around on the Internet and accusing his customers of lying and give me the refund I was owed for the pieceofshit cranks he had sent me the day before a race with a different spline pattern on the axle to the crank arm. Next thing I knew I was being accused of burning down his warehouse and there were pictures of people doing terrible things to octopuses with no clothes on.

I am still owed my refund.

Beasted? Moi?

London bombings? 🙂

I am still owed my refund.

singlespeedstu - Member
...you came across as a right cock on that thread.

TBF he's hardly unique for that, especially in present company.

[i]derek.
we need pics to remind us all of just how bad/funny they were.[/i]

Er, I still have something stored away...

[img] [/img]

Which, reminds me. Who remembers the "Predator" thread about my dog catching a deer...? Damn funny that was. The number of high horses ridden that day must've been a record 😆