[Closed] Do you keep a weapon handy at home

have you ever felt the need when opening the front door to stove the person's who's knocking head in? 😕

Not yet, no.

I have two baseball bats ..as you never know when the urge for a game might take hold ..one in my car the other in my home ..weapons? ..no way officer !

Sounds like a useful thing to have taken off you in a fight.

I might need to hit someone over the head one day so leave it there.

What? Why, do you live in South Chicago?

I keep a selection of hats and gloves near the front door. I could give someone a slap with a pair of Aldi Men's Winter Gloves (£4.99) perhaps?

Amateur....

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A tactical torch is what you want. Then you are not 'tooled up'.

Oh, by the door? Well yes, there are some cub-scout neckerchiefs. I could garrotte an intruder with one. I would have to roll it nice and tight first. Get the woggles off too, or would that help? Hmmmmm, need to think this through....

I have two baseball bats ..as you never know when the urge for a game might take hold ..one in my car the other in my home ..weapons? ..no way officer !

You ever tried swinging a baseball in a house? Good luck actually hitting the bad guy and not hitting the wall, light, door or ceiling while he is punching you in the face.

Better off with something shorter like a rounders bat.

Depends where you live. With nearly 30 years I. Current house and neither me or any neighbours ever being attacked on the doorstep I'll take the chance of not being tooled up.

Probably more chance of injuring myself tripping over an object in the hall than needing to use it.

Purely by coincidence/laziness/untidiness I have a large park pedal spanner in easy reach on the landing should I hear anything downstairs that might need further investigation

[i]Probably more chance of injuring myself[/i]

Same here. I'd be devastating in all the wrong ways.

I've got a shotgun in my house. Browning 12bore.

All I need to do is drive to work, get the gun safe keys, drive home, go back upstairs, get to the back of the spare bedroom cupboard and then remember I've not got any ammo in the house!. I find it helps me sleep better.....

So I guess I could hit someone with one of the many kids shoes by the door, or maybe poke them with the umbrella?

OP - I can't believe that any 3ft long object is going to be too easy to swing around in a house should the need arise.

Half that, perhaps.

I’ve got a ‘locked and loaded’ M20 75mm recoilless rifle pointed at the front door at all times incase I need to repel invaders in an APC or smaller tank.

Next to the bed I keep a pair of 2010 888 WC Ti bombers if I REALLY want to make a statement, I know they’re banned under the Geneva convention, but if it comes down to them or me, I’ll use them. Funny enough Donald Trump’s been asking to hold them to warn off North Korea.

Nope - the big dog chews the bats so we had to stop leaving it near the door

We've got an air horn. I dare say it'd be more effective at shitting an intruder up through the element of surprise alone

Somnouk..
Actually that is what I've got ...never actually had the need to use them as the sawn off shotgun does a good enough job .. 😀

Sounds like a useful thing to have taken off you in a fight.

With the current weapon of choice for the scum bags being acid, you would probably be better off with a full face motorcycle helmet . If you are feeling particularly defensive you could also drop the nut on then whilst wearing it.
Might look a bit daft punk answering the door in it though 😯

I could give someone a slap with a pair of Aldi Men's Winter Gloves (£4.99) perhaps?

LOL. nice one. It's the inclusion of the price that really makes it. 😆

My grandmother had a rounders bat under her bed, she said it was 'in case of snakes'

I have loads of weapons in the house* but i keep them all in my bedroom so that any burglar entering cannot get hold of them and attack me with them. None are within easy reach and I have only used one once when a drunk man with one shoe knocked on my back door to ask if we could be friends at 3 am. I only took it because i was on crutches and unable to actually defend myself but it was not used or threatened as he was , to put it mildly, just very confused. Plod did turn up pretty sharpish as well.

Might use them to defend the stairs whilst waiting for plod but there is not enough use to swing them in most of my house.

Not sure why anyone feels the need to have a bat in their car and their house.

* martial arts training equipment.

I suppose I could 'have at' a would-be assailant with an ill-tuned ukulele?

unless your a martial arts expert you aren't taking a bat off anyone

I would think the average house burgling drug addict would see you wielding your bat and run a mile!

Your goal is to be alive after the event hold the higher ground on the stairs and call the police they will be there very quickly if someone is in your house at the time.
Anyone who can fight knows the best response is still not to unless you have to.

Yes a large rubber mallet on the basis its less likely to kill someone than a metal hammer.

Junkyard ..ever been on the end of road rage attack ?
That's my reason for one in the car ..it may be of no use but it makes me feel more at ease as I find it very hard to back down ( stupid I know )...

I liberal sprinkling of Lego.
God it hurts.

I have two attack poodles, anyone comes here and their shins are toast!
And according to the Mrs I am a weapon..

If anyone gets into my flat then they must be very determined and fit. 3 locked doors and 104 stirs to get past - to say nothing of 8 offices full of expensive stuff at lower levels that they would have gone past

BTW - if you really have baseball bats around make sure you have some baseballs as well as a bat on its own is an offensive weapon unless you are going to play baseball - which is very hard to do without a ball

Recurve bow and hunting arrows in the bedroom wardrobe. Just pointing it at someone would likely provoke the same reaction as a rubber band at full stretch 😀

My grandmother had a rounders bat under her bed, she said it was 'in case of snakes'

Trouser snakes?

A very loud sound system and a Henry hoover tube?

Ok seriously, I suppose if someone was trying to kill me I would grab a short knife with a grippy handle and lock myself in the bathroom and hope I don't have to try to use it!

We have a selection of paperweights on the shelf by the door.

I have no idea why.

I’ve a set of Bombers.

I reckon a small powder extinguisher would be one of the more effective items. Can deploy without getting too close, and then if they haven't backed off you can smack them with the cylinder whilst they are half blinded/spluttering. And obviously the nice side effect of mild breathing difficulties/lung irritation if they breath it in...

Vicious attack kitten - He's a Rag Doll, and if you google it, they are bloody useless - they will let anyone pick them up for a cuddle.

I do carry one of those 'legal' ink sprays when out on my bike on my own down the lanes/canals at night. Mainly as my route crosses a couple of areas where big gangs of teens hang out. Just in case they decide they want my bike, a few of them will have non-washable red ink on their faces for a week - might be difficult explaining that when going home.

I know a guy that protects his bikes with an alarm mine - basically a blank shotgun cartridge that's linked to a wire. It's worked as a potential thief left a fair amount of skin and blood behind when the alarm went off and his arm hit the chain rings.

And according to the Mrs I am a weapon

You probably misheard.

Its not as hard as you think especially if they cannot swing it at you and they have no idea what to do with it.

Kosh with wrist strap or a preemptive punch are your best bet imo.

Maybe an Uzi 9mm or an attack rhino, whichever fits in the porch.

I've got one of these in the front garden, masquerading as an ornamental fountain.
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hodgynd - Member

Junkyard ..ever been on the end of road rage attack ?
That's my reason for one in the car ..it may be of no use but it makes me feel more at ease as I find it very hard to back down ( stupid I know )...

for a while I took to carrying my D lock on the handlebars as a " weapon of opportunity" in case of road rage. the day I swiped a white van with it denting it I realised carrying a weapon just means you might use it when its strictly not needed so I stopped doing so.

An aerosol can of de-icer with the jet nozzle, gives you the capability to ruin someone's day without doing 5yrs in clink

I have one of these permanently in the air, circling my house

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One of these on my garden pond

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And one of these keeping the Koi company

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I keep a plethora of poisons and various delivery methods (blow pipes, syringes, special umbrellas etc) near the door. That old lady with her copy of watchtower magazine never knew what hit her.

I used to carry a heavy wrench in the cab should anyone wish to hijack my lorry. One day I decided I’d be much better at talking my way out of a situation than fighting. They could have the truck as long as I could have my underpants.... I sleep much better at night now.

Funkmaster just reminded me - I have an actual blowpipe in my hallway with darts that have very suspicious staining on the tips. Hmmm - how long does curare last? they are about 50 years old. also a crossbow of similar vintage - both from Malaysia

But every time I do I think you never know I might need to hit someone over the head one day so leave it there.

If its by the front door it seems like it would be of more use to an intruder than it would be to you

I just keep a keyboard near my front door - some of you lot might find that more handy than what you do have

A rubber fist is much easier to explain away than a rounders bat. just make sure you get all the lube off, otherwise it's hard to get a good grip on it.

I liberal sprinkling of Lego.
God it hurts.

Amateur.

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I just keep a keyboard near my front door - some of you lot might find that more handy than what you do have

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^ Hit the bossanova button and freak them out with interpretive dance

Houns - I take it you aren’t in the UK as your aircraft carrier has planes on it

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I’ve got 6 pairs of trail running trainers, 3 are still damp and a stinky muddy towel on the radiator by my front door.
If they get past the smell and fug and steaming mist then bless em’

I also have an 15th C Icon (reproduction) in full view of the open door, if they insist on passing the fug they’ve got God to deal with.

Use it as a battering ram right in their face more like, just because you don't know how to handle yourself doesn't mean we don't

Does an AR-15 count?

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Loving that Casio VL Tone - had one when I was a nipper and now I have the demo earworming me...

I do actually have a leather bound cosh with a wrist strap somewhere. Bought it after a bunch of yoofs tried to nick my camera bag on Blast Beach in Seaham years ago when I first started uni. Couldn't afford to insure my kit and the cosh was only a tenner 😀

Has a huge lump of lead at its head - pretty sure I could never bring myself to swing it in anger these days.

Hmm never given it any thought, got a 72" recurve bow un strung in the spare room. The only place high enough to draw it is the middle of the stairs.
Do chemical weapons count? Could throw a 9yr old boys dirty clothes at them, think that will be counted as excessive though.

I have stuck it in the car along with some other stuff to take to the tip tomorrow.

I read somewhere maybe here of someone who got burgled while in and decided to just stay in their bedroom and ring the police and hope they got there before the burglars went up stairs. They owner went downstairs when the police arrived to find the burglars had left, but not before scattering the contents of their knife block around different places downstairs and boiling the kettle.

I do carry one of those 'legal' ink sprays when out on my bike on my own down the lanes/canals at night. Mainly as my route crosses a couple of areas where big gangs of teens hang out. Just in case they decide they want my bike, a few of them will have non-washable red ink on their faces for a week - might be difficult explaining that when going home.

That sound like an excellent way to turn a robbery of a largely easily replaced item into a stabbing, if you ask me

If they came in the back they'd have to negotiate an unscalable mountain of washing, in the front the octonauts, Lego and rescue bots would fight a delaying action until the youngest woke up and threatened to "frow you in da lava, baddies"

Houns - Member
^ Hit the bossanova button and freak them out with interpretive dance

funniest comment all week. 😀

I live in a nice place with practically zero crime. It’s much easier that way.

Suppressed SIG MCX with holographic and red dot sights. Very unlikely I'd ever need it though as we live in a gated community with security!

Wasn't there senior copper, (possibly Teeside)
who got in trouble for recommending people keep a large knife handing for home defence.

Thats actually been my policy for 30 yrs, so far its only use has been when a drunk girlfriend cut my thumb off.

I have a cctv camera pointed at my front door, and when I see someone angry approach, I run round to their house and wee in their shoes. Does a weaponised bladder count?

In a previous house I had two ice axes near the front door (simply because that is where they were stored). I might have tried to look threatening with one.

My wife keeps an 18” dildo in her bedside drawer “just in case”.

I sleep so much better knowing she is ‘tooled up’ to protect me.

Ive always thought a big **** off crossbow would make a good weapon. Single shot and hard to load but they instill a certain primitive terror that only medieval weapons can. 150ftlb of power means that they punch harder than a. 22lr

Then a stabby short sword and a shield for if they get past the crossbow.

I have several sets of full plate armour and a collection of broadswords, maces, pikes, halberd and lances. Purely for decoration you understand.

If I have enough time to saddle the charger and the intruder tries to escape through the ballroom I'm gonna get medieval on his ass

I keep a Golok in the bedroom "just in case", hope to god I never have to pick it up.

I know someone who once went downstairs to confront a burglar with a Nerf gun! 😀 😀 😀

Jamj 😆 has she ever 'mistaken' you for a 'burglar'

Stuff that gets used outdoors lives next to the front door - so several axes, a staff and a replica sword.

thestabiliser - Member
Jamj has she ever 'mistaken' you for a 'burglar'

Thankfully, no. I did come home late one night to find her flushed, trembling and breathing hard. Apparently, she had thought there were burglars downstairs and still had the dildo in her hand “in case they came upstairs”.

Old school - bows and arrows, but just because there's a larg
e hook by the door that's just right for hanging one of the bows and a quiver from. Bows not strung so not ideal for a quick response, looks wicked though

I have a gimp mask and the fist master 5000 with upgraded jackhammer setting. Everyone runs, very fast.

fist master 500

#oursecondlineofdefence