[Closed] Do you go to dinner parties?

Free food? I'm there.

only the "car keys / bowl" type

Does cooking for some mates count as a dinner party?

pre-kids, yes lots.
post-kids, no never.

Does cooking for some mates count as a dinner party?

Yes 🙂

What constitutes a dinner party these days?

If it's being invited to a friend's house along with other friends in the evening to eat a meal with them (at the table) and having a laugh over a few bottles of wine, then yes.

If it means all of the above whilst wearing a tie and finishing off the evening with port and a cigar, then no.

Yes, it was the main form of socialising for many years when kids where small. More recently it's frieds for dinner often midweek. Have got to the point where we can cook better than most restaurants and we enjoy doing it, plus of course the wine costs 25% of the restaurant price.

if invited, yes

eerrmmm ... I am in so whose cooking?

I don't like chatting by the way and I speak with my mind.

The last time we had dinner party was a long long time ago when I was with my ex ... nowadays I just eat whatever is available cheap.

😯

edit: I got invited to a party a while back, many many moons ago, but ended up looking like a zombie on my own cos I could not pretend to be interested in non-issues. I went there alone and went home alone thinking WTF has my life coming to ... in a strange country. Food was shite because they can't cook ...

only the "car keys / bowl" type

Does Graham even have a key to fit his car?
Or is it just a screwdriver jammed in the ignition. 😉

yes, but only with close friends

Yep - meals out are quite often underwhelming and expensive. Much prefer a night in with a group of friends and a few well chosen bottles of red especially as most of my friends are good cooks. The children can bugger off upstairs and play - we can chat/debate/argue loudly and best of all there is no huge bill to split at the end

We've been invited to one a week on Wednesday. Must be a year since the last one we had though.

Dinner parties are miserable, sad affairs, attended by soulless couples with nothing better to do with their lives than outdoing the other soulless couples that make up their dinner party 'circle'.

Grown men, forced to dress smart, dragged along unwillingly. Probably the only time they are 'allowed' out, and too scared of their scolding wife to actually enjoy themselves.

Talking shite all night about cheese and wine, or the latest book they have pretended to read, and bragging about their latest property valuation/investment portfolio/new car in that self-satisfying way which only dinner party couples can.

No I don't go to dinner parties, nor would I ever host one. I do, however, have people round for something to eat now and then and they often return the favour. If they called it a dinner party though it would be the last time!

No never .I dont have those sort of friends and hope I never will

What brakes said. And it's complicated by the fact I live in the North and work in London.

Very occasionally go for a meal at someones house with a group of mates, get pissed and chat the same shit we would at the pub.

Will probably end up at a house with the same mates New Years Eve, as per - always a good night though

Couldnt imagine a worse way to spend an evening.

transporter13 - Member
Couldnt imagine a worse way to spend an evening.

Having fun with your friends?
Sounds awful 😕

I am vegan
the misses is Veggie and gluten intolerant

What do you think is the likelyhood of an invite 😉

Eating at a mates house and cooking etc is fine but a dinner party seems a bit false/formal/uncomfortable.

I've occasionally had a takeaway and beer at a mates place but that's about it.

Dinner parties sound a bit middle class sitcom sort of events

I can see how sitting round a table using a full set of cutlery and having to converse without a telly on in the background might scare some people

I guess the house value discussions get pretty serious at 'dinner parties'

I can see how sitting round a table using a full set of cutlery and having to converse without a telly on in the background might scare some people

Is that why you think folk keep saying no?

Personally I think its your bonhomie

I'm really, really surprised ar the ferocity of some of the answers. Sharing food and drinks with friends has been a regular part of my social life since I was a teenager. Of course sometimes it outdoors and we might then call it a barbecue.

Having real friends around for food and drinks is a really nice way to spend an evening.
Having some prick from work or being asked to make up numbers in an awkward way less so.
Allegedly you're all adults so make a choice and go with it.

Why so much hate for eating and drinking with mates?
There really are some idiots on this forum.

I often go to so called [i]dinner parties[/i] at various mates houses but I guess they're not the sort of thing that the OP had in mind. Nice dinner, rather a lot of wine n' champagne, good few smokes and then the night starts proper as everyone brings something different for the after dinner dessert course so to speak 😉 , get the decks set up in the bar/pool room downstairs, smoke machine on with lasers and you've got a cracking night/morning

been to peoples houses for dinner and had mates them over loads of times. not really a dinner party rather and just food and a piss up. always a good way to spend a night. If the ones youse go to are dull, youse probably need to find better mates! 😆

Since attending a cookery school in India, curry night at chez sbob's is pretty popular.

It's eating and drinking with your mates. There's nothing formal or "middle class" about it FFS.
Why wouldn't you?

somafunk - Member

I often go to so called dinner parties at various mates houses but I guess they're not the sort of thing that the OP had in mind. Nice dinner, rather a lot of wine n' champagne, good few smokes and then the night starts proper as everyone brings something different for the after dinner dessert course so to speak , get the decks set up in the bar/pool room downstairs, smoke machine on with lasers and you've got a cracking night/morning

We're definitely on the same page bruv.

Do you like Indian? 😀

i sometimes drop my wife off at dinner parties.

does that count?

Do you like Indian 😀

Damn right I do, my fav type of cooking, spent 6 months buggering about India on an Enfield and being a vegi it was an utter delight and I learned to cook so many dishes. Our last [i]dinner party gathering[/i] involved all Indian food, bajis/samosas/pakora/chapatis/nans/Baltis/sag aloo/phals/tandoori king prawns/ butter rice/ pilau rice all freshly homemade including chutneys etc and all ate with just our hands and using the various breads as scoops/shovels - can't beat going native every now and again 😀

If you don't enjoy dinner parties with friends then that says something rather alarming about the social group you have chosen to align with.

and being a vegi

My signature dish is Keralan beef and coconut curry.

Offer retracted. 🙁

😆

on an Enfield

Bloody tourist!
Blend in on a Honda Activa. 8)

Yep...guilty as charged...just another bloody western tourist living the dream 😀 ...till our 6 month visa ran out 🙁 . We did have a Honda cd110 to start with but the journey from Mumbai to Delhi on it whilst laden with our luggage put paid to any further notions of attempting to tour extensively so a trip to the Enfield marketplace in Delhi to get something more suitable was decided, the Enfield handled like a big docile Indian cow (thump...thumpa...thumpa) and leaked oil just as often as the cows leaked piss. I loved that country like no other I have visited yet was often in tears with the utter poverty and death/disease/disabilities we came across on a daily basis not to mention the umpteen times we avoided head on collisions by having to throw the bike off road.

Kerala was beautiful but I loved Shimla and Kashmir best....3 weeks spent rubbing our own charas which lasted our entire trip and enough left to post back home....I so hope to go back for a cycle tour.

Yes, as the inviters and invitees.

By dinner party though, it's certainly not a posh affair. Just good food, good wine and good friends. Anyone who mentions school fees or house prices gets mocked immediately!

The last one did end with cigars and whisky , which was nice 😉

Dinner party? Giving free food? Cooking for other people? ....duh! Weirdos

There does seem to be a distinction between "dinner party" and just having friends round here.
It's the former, more formal, arrangement I had in mind.
Given some of the threads on STW, I wondered how many people see them as an opportunity to show off their new car/watch/trophy wife/Aga.

I'm guessing the OP means this sort of fake socialiing

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/lizhunt/6450773/The-dinner-partys-over-what-a-relief.html

Throughout my twenties and early thirties yes plenty. As we've got older and had more kids it just seems to be straight for the wine and whiskey and sod the food.
But then I did move from London to Bedfordshire.

rene59 - Member
Dinner parties are miserable, sad affairs, attended by soulless couples with nothing better to do with their lives than outdoing the other soulless couples that make up their dinner party 'circle'.

Much better than an evening spent on STW moaning - which is more miserable and sad?

DPs corner stone of socialising from Uni thru adult life, but the clichéd DP hinted at in the Torygraph and in some posts have never been part of it. Abigail's Party was so 70s!! Lame Torygraph filler articles IMO.

Good food, good wine and good company beats a lot of alternatives. What's not to like?

[b]makecoldplayhistory[/b]

Yes, as the inviters and invitees.

By dinner party though, it's certainly not a posh affair. Just good food, good wine and good friends. Anyone who mentions school fees or house prices gets mocked immediately!

The last one did end with cigars and whisky , which was nice

Do you have Coldplay as background music, or do you pull out the big guns with a nice bit of Enya?

😉

which is more miserable and sad?

Seems the consensus is we would all enjoy a meal with friends
We may or we may not enjoy the concept of a dinner party.
We may have widely varying views of what is a dinner party is

Had one last night 😆

some friends, some couples some singles, mates of mates, sort of "it's not xmas yet" theme. Some spanish food, far too many helpings of pud, far too much wine. good food, good mates.

Weird, we were talking last night about pubs being too loud, and isn't it nice and chilled etc etc.

If it's a hateful experience, you've invited the wrong people.

MidlandTrailquestsGraham - Member
There does seem to be a distinction between "dinner party" and just having friends round here.
It's the former, more formal, arrangement I had in mind.
Given some of the threads on STW, I wondered how many people see them as an opportunity to show off their new car/watch/trophy wife/Aga.

With regard to black tie events:

Dinner parties are miserable, sad affairs, attended by soulless couples with nothing better to do with their lives than outdoing the other soulless couples that make up their dinner party 'circle'.

Grown men, forced to dress smart, dragged along unwillingly. Probably the only time they are 'allowed' out, and too scared of their scolding wife to actually enjoy themselves.

Talking shite all night about cheese and wine, or the latest book they have pretended to read, and bragging about their latest property valuation/investment portfolio/new car in that self-satisfying way which only dinner party couples can.

This.

I've never been to one and would consider myself socially inept at those types of conversations. I wouldn't enjoy it.

emsz - Member
Had one last night....If it's a hateful experience, you've invited the wrong people.

+1 emsz

Throw in a few rubbers (of bridge) at the end as well 😉 Next one tonight with Godson's family - oops another faux pas!!! Black tie is brilliant dress too - should be used more often!!!

I'm really, really surprised ar the ferocity of some of the answers. Sharing food and drinks with friends has been a regular part of my social life since I was a teenager. Of course sometimes it outdoors and we might then call it a barbecue.

^^That.

"[i]...acceptable[/i]" there's no judgement here. I realise that with threads about £100 jeans, £400 watches and £30000 cars, there are some people on STW who I share nothing in common with, other than mountain bikes.
I just wondered if those are the sort of people who go to formal dinner parties as I imagine them to be, based solely on seeing them on TV, and if dinner parties really are like that.

MidlandTrailquestsGraham - Member
"...acceptable" there's no judgement here.

I guess you need a dining table for dinner parties? That's me relegated to 'come round for dinner' then.

My question was mainly inspired by the recent Daily Mail frowning woman with a Mamil husband story and her embarrassment of him talking about cycling at a dinner party.

used to throw bridge parties, smoke a load of dope, eat pizza and play bridge into the early hours does that count ?

[OT]

I so hope to go back for a cycle tour

Eeer, let me know if you want another member of the team would you? I'm not kidding!

[/OT]

I'm pretty sure the disconnect here does revolve around the connotations of the phrase "Dinner Party".

I met transposrter13 once and I can confirm he's a cheery chap. But he didn't invite me to dinner, so who knows what would happen in that situation 😉

[b][/b]there's no judgement here.[b] I realise that with threads about £100 jeans, £400 watches and £30000 cars, there are some people on STW who I share nothing in common with, other than mountain bikes.
I just wondered if those are the sort of people who go to formal dinner parties as I imagine them to be, based solely on seeing them on TV, and if dinner parties really are like that.

Does the fact that some people can afford some of this stuff, instantly relegate them to having nothing in common with you?

Some of my mates are loaded, some are skint - we all have things in common

Is "dinner" served at 13:00 or 20:30?

Does the fact that I don't have any of that stuff instantly relegate me to being unable to afford it? 😉

Does the fact that some people can afford some of this stuff, instantly relegate them to having nothing in common with you?

Sounds like he doesn't want to find out and rather judge them based on TV.

Is "dinner" served at 13:00 or 20:30?

12 noon for me, I can't make it till 1

Don't hide your lamp under a bushel thm, iirc from the political threads you dine with all sorts of politicians and well-connected folk. (In the evening)

Where does "inviting a couple of mates over for food and some kind of alcoholic drink" stop and "dinner party" start? Is there a clear indicator we can use as a benchmark? Napkins? (Subdivided into kitchen roll, paper and cloth) Amuse-bouches? Staff?

No never .I dont have those sort of friends and hope I never will

Years ago I'd both entertain and be entertained. It was a lovely time in my life and one where I made some very long standing friends.
What ended it was the second Property Crash. Dear God the whining and whinging about Property prices, the negative equity trap, coupled with the onset of Baby producing and folks loosing Jobs, career crisis and an exodus out of London to the provinces killed what was for about 3 years a very enjoyable and social time.
A lot of folks I met than Sailed, raced Bikes, Cars, had great jobs and were enjoying every moment of their lives then all within 8-9mths it turned to shit and the rot set in very very quickly and it looked for a short time that we were loosing friends at least one couple per week. Folks became so self absorbed and insular that less time spend chatting and meeting up meant more time for me and MrsBouy and we kinda got used to that.
Post the Crash and it'd gawn and it's been that way since. We are about as insular as most now and only really keep in contact with a few close friends who escaped Town in the first wave.

Formality, well we had that, we used to make some great efforts with themes, some were just simple and some more elaborate. The Venetian Mask one was a total hoot and we still giggle about that to this day. None were Black Tie but I did go to a few that were organised by my then Boss to encourage Business but I couldn't be bothered and he clearly knew that. Talking crap out of the office is 10x more dull that talking about it in.

So now no, no we don't. Most of our friends have Kids and thats the biggest barrier to anything remotely like true friendship, theres always the easy answer "oh can't make it, little Henry's got....(insert 1000 excuses here).."

Shame really because those times were indeed very very special indeed.

Hey Ho, suns out and my Roadies calling and my legs are twitching... 8)

Does the fact that I don't have any of that stuff instantly relegate me to being unable to afford it?

Touchè 😉

I realise that with threads about £100 jeans, £400 watches and £30000 cars, there are some people on STW who I share nothing in common with, other than mountain bikes.

It can be difficult, but try not to be so narrow-minded in determining whether you have much in common with others. Be a bit more broadminded. Your impression of what a dinner party is, for instance, seems to be largely informed by media stereotypes, rather than real life.

And, though it probably doesn't need to be said, just because somebody likes different things to you doesn't mean they can't be your friend. 😆

SOH, Julian, SOH....

It's refreshing to go to a DP with people you have little in common with. You get to learn new things.

I realise that with threads about £100 jeans, £400 watches and £30000 cars, there are some people on STW who I share nothing in common with, other than mountain

There are bound to be some people on STW that you have nothing in common with other than mountain bikes.

It's a massive group of people who have been brought together purely because of one single shared interest.

However, deciding who those people are based purely on how much they decide to spend on a watch or jeans is pretty narrow minded.

I would spend time with someone wearing a nice watch and expensive jeans without noticing, but someone who makes ill informed judgements about people based on reverse snobbery would be very easy to spot and avoid.

I had to google SOH, i thought it was some sort of code I had not learnt through being at the wrong [s]dinner parties[/s] DP's.

These people you have little in common with thm, they are the ones with the red ties, right? 😀

[edit] last dinner party i went to had five nationalities and five different first languages present (no mean feat in the south west, i tell thee), amongst who were two teachers, a carpenter, a plumber, a data entry drone, two drug reps and a podiatrist. But no politicians. Oh i did drink in a pub with David Jamieson once but peanuts and pork scratchings maketh not a dinner party?

However, deciding who those people are based purely on how much they decide to spend on a watch or jeans is pretty narrow minded.

Wrong Wrong Wrong Comrade. It's far more broad minded to not [s]afford[/s] be seduced by such fripperies and baubles of the bourgeoisie and just break bread with your common man.

Nah, 'net chat innit...(so someone told me recently!).

my party last night had a drug dealer*, 2 lesbians, a skateboarder, a math geek, an aspey and a couple of nigerians.

* he's not really, one of those blokes who always seems to 'do alright' regardless of the fact that he doesn't have a great job, dresses nice, smells good, drives a nice car. Drug dealer, has to be, right?

On the 30K car/400 watch thing - Probably describes me (and I'm not taking any offence at the comment) but everything's relative. I've ended up on bike holidays with a few multi-millionaires and they've all been fantastic people - they're definitely friends now and we've done bike trips most years. On the surface you'd never know they were very well off.

One thing's for sure, after reading this thread there are plenty of forum members who are never getting a ****ing invite.

Staggering levels of bell-whiffery in here.

Good wine? What's wrong with 12 cans of lager and some crisps?

Plus, you don't really have a party at dinner time, parties are for the evening/night time, unless you're LL Cool J.

Confused about the £400 watch thing? Was a zero missed by accident? That's very much in the gauche quartz territory.

Confused about the £400 watch thing? Was a zero missed by accident? That's very much in the gauche quartz territory.

I did kind of think the same thing.

My watch was £400 (12 years ago) and although it's a vary nice watch, I have never considered it to be in any way flashy of overly expensive. It was a nice present from a group of people for my 30th.

I destroy watches with a dull regularity that even I find faintly tedious. I could never trust myself with anything more that a cheap casio. It always seem to come as a surprise that I'm expected to behave like an adult.

We did one pre kids. It was the full on willy waving type affair, property prices, golf club, how well I'm doing in my career. We knew one couple, it was supposed to be a networking opportunity. After a few drinks it was very difficult to bite my tongue or stay polite. Never again.

Any gathering now is more Tom and Barbara rather than Jerry and Margo. And it will be outside with the BBQ and a fire pit. Indoor ones are left to those with big enough houses so people aren't sat on deck chairs.

Nope we don't really cook for each other unless a night in with some hash brownies and a pizza counts 😆 the closest I've come to one recently is going round my girlfriends house and sharing a takeaway with her, her sister and her boyfriend 😕 I guess it's just not the done thing at our age.

Confused about the £400 watch thing? Was a zero missed by accident? That's very much in the gauche quartz territory.

£30k cars and £100 jeans are fairly standard fare too, I'd imagine - although a few on here seem to get in a lather about such things

I've been to plenty of "dinner parties" where it's me and my OH going round to a friend's house for dinner. Glass of wine, a good natter with old friends, maybe a board game or something. What's not to like?

OTOH, a "dinner party" full of people I don't know, dressed like a penguin, I'll pass thanks. I've dodged the bullet this year of the horror that is the "work Christmas do"; forty quid for a set meal which I probably can't eat and almost certainly won't like, in the company of people I kind of know a bit be nature of sharing office space for eight hours a day, no ta. There's a few at work I know / like well enough to go for a pint with perhaps, but enforced awkward socialising for someone who's a bit Aspie just fills me with dread.