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When do you know when to call it quits?
Seeing someone for 6 years, married 3 and little lad of 18 months.
Previously saw someone for 10 years and 3 girls, who I don't get to see much as they are hundreds of miles away and my sons nursery fees are really high (much guilt :().
Now at the stage where it appears all the love has completely evaporated. No intimacy, wife was made redundant (and she appears to have to have spent 18 months wages in 4 months)...although she is just about to start work again. Accused of bullying about her spending habits and lack of intimacy etc.
She now disappears for the weekend to a wedding, saying she was 'bunking" in with another female but find out she has a room to 'herself'.
Am I being f****d over? Is my relationship dead?
No idea what to do or think! And she took half my fags...so now can't nip to to get some more 🙁
Sorry...just a bit of mess really
Having just left a relationship in the last couple of days...
I'd say you just "know" when it's the right time to call it quits. Go with your gut instinct, whatever that is.
Rachel
Oh, do give over ...
Do you really need to ask?
Talk to her?
Think hard about the impact of all this on your son. You can both choose who you want to be with, he didn't get to choose you two, so you certainly owe him what's best.
Now, I don't know anything about your relationship, so perhaps splitting [u]is[/u] the best all round, but your relationship ought to be very shitty before a split becomes the best option for the child.
Circumstances change, people change, but just having a hotel room to herself doesn't necessarily mean she's been at it. Unless you just don't trust her, but is that your issue or hers? Has she given you good reason to doubt her?
Think through the whole thing very carefully before burning any bridges.
Good luck, and remember that there is more to life than getting your leg over(!)
Oh, do give over ...
Do you really need to ask?
That's helpful.
As Rachel says though, you usually "know" when it's the right time. Sadly, folk don't always make the hard decision and it's left to then degrade into something unpleasant, for both parties.
Can't help much more than that chap; good luck.
Cheers, Danny B
Hey - I'm not good at this. I can see me asking her back before the week is out...
Rachel
On the smoking front, now would be a good time to quit.
On the relationship front, the 18-month-old child will soon be 2, you've had three already so you know it gets easier for both of you. Nursery fees while your wife isn't working sounds odd.
I read that the nursery fees are from previous partner, who presumably is still working.
BOOK INTO COUNSELLING!
If you WANT it to work and get back to how it was but can't talk getting a trained mediator to sit and talk with May well help, it certainly did for my in laws their like children again. That's after them living in different houses and no trust etc
If it doesn't help at least you can say you tried everything to make it
Njee I meant paying nursery fees for my son means I cannot afford to see my daughters as I much would like to (theyre 400miles away).
No idea what's happening. Massive fight last night and this morning.
Hey ho...guess its time to MTFU.
well he had three girls and sends a son to nursery so you read that wrong[ said politely as a clarification]
Anyway lets try and help the OP rather than bicker
OP you need to talk to here
Telling lies to you is never good and it is going to make anyone suspicious
Wasting loads of money when you are both skint is going to make anyone cross - then again she may view it as a windfall and hers
Its does not sound great but you need to talk as
1. this may resolve the issues
2. you will be acting on incomplete evidence and hunches
well he had three girls and sends a son to nursery so you read that wrong[ said politely as a clarification]
Ta! As you were... If I'd actually read the post before I posted, rather than remembering what I thought it said that was incredibly obvious. I'll get back in my corner!
I trust the massive fight was just a massive slanging match.
Do a bit of Googling on the sources of differences/strop in relationships. Your opening post ticked a few and there are maybe more. In relationships that work people are living with their differences, mostly quite happily. Work out what's bothering you most without worrying about the silly, picky stuff and try to talk it over.
Or get spendthrift yourself and hire a private detective. 😉
Sounds as though you're displaying favouritism towards your youngest and how sad is it that you don't see much of your daughters. You don't get that time back. Is there any way that you can change that situation?
The suggestion of counselling is a good one, even if you only go alone. I would also add that getting the snip would seem sensible.
Lots of issues involved here - counselling may well be a good option. Even if it doesn't save the relationship, a few people I know have felt that it smooth the break up
Talk to her.
Hello, Kilroy.