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I've amicably separated from my ex. We've agreed the financials which includes splitting out some of my pension.
Any recommendations for the best / cheapest way to get the divorce sorted.
Any advice including new patios welcome.
Went through this a couple of years ago and got a local family solicitor to sit down with us both. As my ex was an accountant she had all the facts and figure worked out so we had one visit of maybe 40 minutes rather than 2 or 3. She then applied for the divorce and it was sorted out over The following year but it could have been a lot quicker we were just both busy. I think from application to being finished was maybe 4 months so could be done and dusted in about 6 months. This was in Scotland so not sure if it's different in other places
Binding arbitration. Its designed for this sort of thing
Arbitration is usually used where there is a dispute. There appears to be nothing to argue / settle here, and ultimately whilst arbitration may be used for settlement it wont lead to a divorce so still need to go via the courts.
Any recommendations for the best / cheapest way to get the divorce sorted.
Scotland/England&Wales/Elsewhere will have subtle differences on process. No mention of kids though so presumably none (or grown up). How long have you been separated (>1 yr?). You can probably do it without involving a lawyer - which might be cheapest but I would suggest is not necessarily best. Can probably be done for less that getting a decent contractor to lay a good patio!
In England, only 1 kid just under 18 - so no real impact and separated for about 18months.
Good luck!
A mate of mine is trying to finalise his divorce, thinking they'd agreed it all amicably. His ex then got a solicitor involved, he's had to do the same, they are no further forward than they were 6 months ago.
Be careful if you do it online. Online divorces don't do the financial settlement. That is by far and away the most important bit, an ex spouse can become an issue if you gain wealth later on or even when you die.
In England, only 1 kid just under 18 - so no real impact and separated for about 18months.You might want to do some investigation, about waiting until the kid is >18 before sorting the formalities! Certainly in Scotland it makes a difference to the process, cost and complexity (<16's up here but we treat 16yr olds as adults for a lot of stuff where you need to be 18 in England). I'm sure there will be solicitors who point this out, and others who bill you for sorting out the child arrangements! I don't think theres a minimum separation time in England (at least if both agreeing to the divorce).
If you're both in agreement on how to carve things up and it's all amicable then I'd suggest you skip mediation but still hire your own respective solicitors... But make sure they both know it's basically a 'rubber stamp' exercise to kept costs minimal.
Reason I say this is there's potential conflict of interest if you just have one solicitor between you, they might advise one side differently to the other.
And having your own council 'on your team' will help you avoid any come back, further down the line.
Just my opinion.. Yes it will cost a bit... But costs should be minimal for a bit of peace of mind for both parties, assuming you are both actually 'on the same page'.
I used the legal services on https://divorce.wikivorce.com/
Basically I submitted a spreadsheet which listed all our assets, pensions, etc and any agreements we had worked out for splitting things up.
You get a phone call with them and then they propose what looks like a fair split and then do the financial settlement.
If you do the spreadsheet with your wife and make sure everything is kept as transparent as possible and accept the recommendations from the legal services then you are more likely to keep everything amicable through the divorce and wrap it up quickly, and cheaply.
If either of you thinks the split ratio is not quite right just remember that if either of you go to a solicitor then they may end up with the ratio they wanted, but that ratio wil be of a lot less money because of fees, so it wasn't worth argueing about in the first place. Just suck up any apparent injustice and get it over with and move on.
The only issue is that phone call is just to the person contracting the service, so you need to make sure that is also transparent (wife can hear?) and any communications are also transparent.
The divorce papers required that we go to see a mediator but I just put the wikivorce service - I went to see one to check him out and it seemed like a complete waste of time - they might help you agree on a split but offer no guidance as to whether it was a legally fair split so you would run the risk of it being rejected by the judge.
Went to Tenerife with the ex-wife-to-be and a couple of friends as we already had the holiday booked, so the amicable bit worked out ok.
Just done it. Took ages (3 years), acrimonious and expensive. I got some legal advice that suggested I could do better than the ex's initial offer. Paid solicitors £20k to tell me off about recording my complicated financial arrangements in some ludicrously complicated forms that concluded our initial spreadsheet was about right. Settled at about £20k better than the original offer! Lost the house and and half my savings but kept my pension. I suspect it would have been much more expensive if I hadn't agreed to settle and continued down the legal route.
If you are genuinely in agreement about the finances you can submit a Financial Order to the Court without solicitor input. As long as the Court decides it is fair they will make the order. Then you can finalise child care arrangements, maintenance costs and apply for the Decree Nisei.
Good luck - I am only just coming out the other side but the future is looking ok.
If either of you thinks the split ratio is not quite right just remember that if either of you go to a solicitor then they may end up with the ratio they wanted, but that ratio wil be of a lot less money because of fees
I took this route, ended up giving my ex about £50 grand for the house and her share of all the assets.
If i'd decided to take the legal route it would have cost me (minimum) £10k and i'd have still had to give her £40-45k and quite possibly had to sell the house as well. It would also have stymied any chance of a civilised relationship afterwards, which could have been awkward as she was one of my indirect reports at work and we have two smaller children.
Thankfully the system is all online here and it only took 8-9 months start to finish and cost under 300 quid.
(I've been promoted twice since then, and she's leaving in a couple of weeks, so we don't work together any more!)