[Closed] Ditching the Missus!!!

Tell her to do one, Ewan

Kick her to the kerb, Herb.

Sleep in the spare room, chris froome

Bin her off, Abdoujaparov

Set her square, Jalabert

No need to be coy, Chris Hoy

Stick her under the patio, Matteo.

Take loads of drugs, Lance

Giver her the sack, Lars Bak

I'm not sure this thread is going the way the OP expected....

Tell her she is smelly, Sean Kelly.
Mooly have you met.....Hooli?

Find a girl with big 'uns, Wiggins

End it eqitably, Nibali.

Clunk...

Tell her no more, contador

Don't delay, it will only hurt her, schurter

Tell her she's a pain in the neck, Schleck.

Show her this thread,Fred

Tell her No, No, Nino

She wanted to spend weekend having cocktails with the girls on a Friday, then spend the rest of weekend in pj's. I wanted to go sailing/cycling/camping/climbing/surfing/touring - generally getting out of town for the weekend and having mini adventures and enjoying whisky on mountain tops & anchorages...

Do you like pina colada?

Just end it soon, Ban Ki-moon.

Don't dilly-dally, Boutros Boutros-Ghali

She'll soon be missing ya, Henry Kissinger.

Don't belittle' er, Adolf

Give her a quick wham bam thank you Sagan!!

So a wife comes home and finds her husband on the couch in front of the TV with a bit of paper in his hand, laughing his head off.

"What happened?" she says.

"I've won the lottery" he says, "pack your bags".

"Great" says the wife, "where are we going?"

And the husband says....

"What do you mean, 'we'?"

Ba-dumdum tish. Try the fish, I'm here all week.

[img] [/img]

Dig a big hole, Dave

As the plumber said to his girlfriend - it's over Flo

Do you like pina colada?

In the pouring rain?

Kick her into touch, Dutch

"Find a girl with big 'uns, Wiggins"
Have to say its my favorite so far and obviously not what i was expecting .

Kick her where it hurts, Merckx

Put SWMBO in limbo, Jimbo.

This thread exhibits the typical STW male bias Mathias.

You already know what to do, Stu.

Ditch the witch, b1tch.

You just slip in the back, Jack
Stuff her some spam, Stan
Give her some joy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on her bust, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Do it with three, Lee
And get yourself free

Walk into the sunset, mumsnet

buy her a somewhat sexist Maxxis mtb calendar, Wallander

Play a game:

"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Not you any more."

🙂

Stay with her for her sake until she resents you for it and makes your life miserable and you end up killing yourself in despair, Clare.

Stiff Little Fingers spelled it our for us . . .

[i]
She asks for more and I give less
Why can't she see it's obvious
I mean no but she takes yes
I make it clear but she don't guess

She comes round it gets me down
But she don't catch a hint I drop
She turns up it turns me off
And she don't know when to stop

What am I supposed to do?
How to gently break the news?
How to get the message through?
Perhaps I should just fade away

She asked me out and I gave in
Then she gave out and I felt mean
I really want no more of us
So I stay home, she comes across

She comes round I turn her down
But she bounces back again
She comes on I turn her off
But she don't get what's really plain

What am I supposed to do?
Got to get the message through
Got to make her see the truth
I wish she would just fade away

Do you want to know do I love you?
The answer's no
Is that straight enough for you?

She asked for it I told her flat
That I don't want no more of that
I've really had you up to here
And I don't even like you near
If you come round I won't be in

I can't stand to see your face
If we meet up then count me out
Why don't you just fade away?

Fade away
When love's not love
When love's not love
When love's not love
Fade Away [/i]

I have often wondered why the interweb were invented, now I know.

I'm sure Relate could use some of this advice.

Give her a dirty Sanchez.....

.. Sanchez

Push her off a cliff, Cliff.

Tell her your gay, then walk away, Jay.

I really hope she bins the OP before he can say it

Its done.
She was coming out with loads of reasons we shouldn't split so dragged out a bit but kept pressing the point that we needed different things.
Feel pretty bad for her but definitely feel like a heavy cloud has been lifted.
PHEW!!!!

Did she knee you in the goolie, Mooly?

Did she knee you in the goolie, Mooly?

Fully!

Well done, even if it was difficult.

Mind you, I am not at all surprised you were able to carry through in the wake of the overwhelmingly good advice you got off this thread.

Has anyone called dibs yet? (pending photos)

Is that not how the classifieds work?

What great advice.

I did find myself whistling 50 ways to leave your lover on saturday which was awkward.

Has anyone called dibs yet? (pending photos)

That's very reductive and sexist.

Mooly might want to stay single for a bit...

Edit: I'll step in if the original buyer pulls out tho.

Good work. Lifty cloud feelings = definitely the right decision.

Don't go back for "no strings", "why not if we're both still single?" sex.

You'll have to break up with her again.

TFFT matt.

well done now walk away and stay away.

Now quit with the rhyming, Simon

Nooo! This one could have gone on and on, Don.

(Well done really, much better to be honest)

If I scroll back through these pages, will I find anything useful? I seem to have a method, whereby I just stop contacting them... it's not nice. I want a nice way to ditch the latest one... Will "we're just too different" work?

Now quit with the rhyming, Simon

I agree. Now go and have an orange....

Grow some cojones, Gomez. T'aint right? Take flight, Dwight. Tell her straight, m8.

What he sez, Dez

bongohoohaa - Member
Has anyone called dibs yet? (pending photos)
That's very reductive and sexist.

Mooly might want to stay single for a bit...

Edit: I'll step in if the original buyer pulls out tho.

Sloppy seconds? Each to their own

Don't be so picky. Ricky.

[i]If I scroll back through these pages, will I find anything useful? [/i]

Have scroll, doll.
Take a glance, Lance.
Give it a view, Stu.

Ok thanks, er Franks. 😀

You're welcome, Malcolm.

Hmm. That doesn't really scan, Dan.

depends on your accent, Milicent.

(I'm from darn sarf and say Melcolm 😉 )

kick her in the bush mush

There's no need for violent abuse, Bruce.

argoose rhymes with abuse I think...

But I'm not kicking her in the doodaa, whatever your name is.

..or tweaking her knockers, Ockers.

There's no need for violent abuse, [s]Bruce[/s]Goose

Congratulations OP,
you are on your own, Al Capone

is he now on the market (Morten) Harket?

He's become an internet dater, Mr Bater

[i]Corrected it for you, Sue [/i]

Ta, Da.

Time to send the text, Rex.

Reported.

(falls foul of the rules, Jules)

I love this forum.