Did you hear about ...
 

  You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more

[Closed] Did you hear about the anxious Mexican?

18 Posts
16 Users
0 Reactions
88 Views
Posts: 13356
Free Member
Topic starter
 

He’s on medication…
For Hispanic attacks.

IGMC.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 10:38 am
 Spin
Posts: 7655
Free Member
 

Very good.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 10:51 am
 LeeW
Posts: 2119
Full Member
 

Had a guy knock the door multiple times last night shouting 'Stand and Deliver' when I opened the door.

I kept telling him he had the wrong house, but he was AdamAnt.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 10:58 am
Posts: 8904
Free Member
 

What do Mexican carpet fitters use?

Underlay! Underlay!


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 11:34 am
Posts: 17106
Full Member
 

I lost my voice last week.
You didn't hear me complain about it though.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 11:37 am
Posts: 1014
Free Member
 

My wife is Mexican.

When her family is around I try to use words like mucho.

I think it means a lot to them.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 11:37 am
Posts: 45504
Free Member
 

Three Mexicans try to cross the border legally when the border guard sees only one of them has the correct papers. Only Juan crossed.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 11:40 am
Posts: 5720
Full Member
 

Jesus loves you!

Great news when you're in church

Not so great if you're in a Mexican prison


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 11:45 am
 Spin
Posts: 7655
Free Member
 

Why does Mexico never do very well at the Olympics?

Everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 11:51 am
Posts: 3845
Full Member
 

Two Mexican detectives working on the murder of Juan Gonzales have received some results
"Hey, Manuel, the autopsy reports says Gonzales was keeled wiz a golf-gun!"
"Pedro, what eez a golf-gun?"

" I don't know, but it made a hole in Juan..."


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 12:26 pm
Posts: 77347
Free Member
 

Why did the Mexican poison his wife?

Tequila.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 12:30 pm
Posts: 13356
Free Member
Topic starter
 

How do Mexicans keep warm?

They use chicken fajitas.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 5:00 pm
Posts: 6275
Full Member
 

what do you call a zombie wearing a sombrero

el zombre


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 5:03 pm
Posts: 2126
Full Member
 

Did youhear about the Mexican magician's disappearing act.

"I will disappear on the count of three..."

"Uno......dos......." and whoosh he was gone without a tres.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 6:23 pm
 colp
Posts: 3322
Full Member
 

I went to our local college to sign up for the Spanish cookery course but the receptionist said “sorry, it’s not tortilla”


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 6:44 pm
Posts: 5245
Full Member
 

Something something Mexican firemen.
Something something José and Hose B.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 7:02 pm
Posts: 32265
Full Member
 

I've laughed at all of these and then had a Woke Libtard moment wondering if I'm being Mexican-ist.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 7:07 pm
Posts: 77347
Free Member
 

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed.

"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sí que es!"

"Well, if you knew how to spell it then why didn't you just say?!" yelled the salesgirl.


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 8:25 pm
Posts: 8669
Full Member
 

A Mexican just won the world championship for most washing hung out in an hour.

When asked about how it felt, he said...

Eesa lot to take in.

(Amended for Mexican theme).


 
Posted : 29/01/2022 8:28 pm

6 DAYS LEFT
We are currently at 95% of our target!