[Closed] Depression - Why dont we talk about it?/ your experiences please

Me. Haven't dealt with it all that well, to be honest, but that's probably my fault since I can't seem to talk about it or explain it adequately to others. Sometimes, it just lifts but I can't exactly say why.

Hope whatever you do sorts it out though.

Camo have you seen your GP?

I have been on SSSI meds for 4 weeks now and they are really starting to help after making me worse for a while

Me. I've been there.

I wrote an article on it, and how my bikes and friends (among other things) helped me through it. The daft sods at Singletrack actually published it in the mag

There have been regular threads on the subject over the years. You're amongst many, so don't feel alone in it.

Nah, it's okay at the moment and I haven't gone regularly in the past.

The meds did work though, although there's some downhill with the uphill. On that herbal front St Johns Wort was surprisingly effective for a while.

Best wishes to you. Depression is shite. But, as you say, it's also fairly common.

EDIT: what issue is your article in Binners? Might give it a read...

Why is it such a taboo to talk about it, as people (including me) seem reluctant and ashamed

Because people either think youre just a moaner or havent got time to listen or want to listen.

Then from your side you need to find someone to trust and more importantly listen to you and possibly help.

Find a cure for depression and your a multi millioaire overnight.

People don't talk about it because it's the core parts of you and your personality that get affected rather than just something physical. If your back hurts you're still the same person. If you're depressed you're sort of not even if it's temporary. Also because many sufferers have no rational reason to be 'depressed' so they don't want to be seen to be moaning.

My mum got depressed a couple of years ago. She's always been a stresser but never remotely depressed and in her own words, comparatively has nothing to be depressed about - good life, happy family, etc. A few things happened (nothing too serious but all at the same time) and things just spirralled into depression.

She found it really hard as she could tell that she wasn't being rational about things but couldn't help herself. The CBT helped a bit with coping strategies. She really didn't want to take any drugs (she's been massively opposed to taking any kind of medication for years) but ultimately did take anti-depressants at a fairly low dose and it gave her the room get get herself back to normal - a large part of it being that she could actually get some sleep.

She stopped taking the ADs soon after that and has been fine since.

It's amazingly common.

Clubber Your Mums experience is a mirror of mine! I have just started some CBT too

And millions of others.

I think it's not talked about because when you're depressed, you don't feel like talking about much, esp not yourself. And when you're up again, you don't want to think about how depressed you were.

Simplistically put, I suppose.

[img] [/img]

I don't know about others but some of my colleagues have depression or bipolar ...

1. They don't talk about it because they think others might view them as freaks.

2. Others don't want to talk to them about it because they think that they might make the condition worst off leading to suicidal thoughts or simply jump off the building.

3. Others just don't want to be bothered to listen to those with depression because they have their own difficulties in life.

There you go and [u]if you are prescribed medication take it and try not to miss the dosage[/u]. It will strike when you least expected.

🙂

Camo - just had a quick look and its issue 60 apparently. Remember that it was written by me though. So its basically drivel! 😉

Currently about to end my second spell of counselling. Was 'diagnosed' about 6 years ago. I don' talk about it much outside my close family and one or two friends. I still believe most people think it's an excuse for being lazy and not bothered about making an effort.

However, I can't begin to describe some of the emotions/feelings that I've gone through. There is a lot of help available, however finding what works for you is difficult. You really need to want to help yourself before you can be helped.

molgrips - Member
I think it's not talked about because when you're depressed, you don't feel like talking about much, esp not yourself

Not always. That was one of the things that happened with my Mum - she couldn't stop talking about her depression. That was part of the problem as that was all she was ever thinking about and it just became a negative spiral.

She is a complete chatterbox mind so that might not be that common 😆

Me. Goes in cycles. Have used meds in the past when it got too much.

Reason no one talks about it is IMO, people don't want to appear weak and unable to cope, others don't really want to know, fear of being judged. When I was told to "pull myself together" and lately MTFU, it just showed me how uneducated or prejudice people are about it.

Remember that it was written by me though. So its basically drivel!

Not in sales then, Binners?

* goes to take a look through Issue 60 and intends to be impressed *

I can't begin to describe some of the emotions/feelings that I've gone through.

This.

At its worst, the emotion is indescribable. Lucky for me, I suppose, is that it passes.

I used the analogy for my mum that you wouldn't tell someone with an infection to MTFU (well, people on here probably would 😉 ), you'd treat it.

I think it's not talked about because there is still some stigma attached and unless you've suffered it you don't really 'get it'. Some people still don't think of it as a 'proper' illness and that you just need to 'pull your socks up'.

I had a nasty bout of it a few years ago when I became really ill with CFS, still have some bleak periods but its mostly under control now (I'm taking St Johns Wort at the mo).

I can't begin to describe some of the emotions/feelings that I've gone through.

IME, whatever "The Void" is, it's that.

About 5 years ago the Doctor diagnosed me with Depression, it was a big shock. That's when the doctor suggested I get back on the bike to help with anxiety, which really helped.

I told my friends and they really helped. I thought I was the only one, it transpired that half of my close friends had gone through the same thing. I was on the AD's for a year and they helped, even if they did **** with my head at the start, so I took them before bed and had no probs.

I didn't think seeing a shrink would help, but it did.

It was only a year ago that I realised how depressed I was and that it had been going on for over 5 years.

I don't think I have been in such a good place for nearly 10 years, you may not think there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but with some help and patience you'll see it. 😉

I don't talk about it because the thought of going back there terrifies me. Got through it with the help of some very good friends with a great deal of patience who I have never thanked enough.

Cheers guys

I am so much better than 1 week ago + I am determined to do whatever I can to help myself make it never happen again.

i have found out by a chance conversation that my best friends wife is suffering from the same - I had no idea,

for me its the fact that everyone thinks your fine, that makes it really hard as it just feels so damm lonely sometimes, but maybe thats just a bit of self pity coming through

You don't talk it because you're ****ing depressed, you eejit!! Haha. I'll be lucky if I talk to anyone about anything when I'm on a proper one. Winston Churchill called it 'the black dog', as in 'the black dog is on me again', I always liked that..

it just feels so damm lonely sometimes, but maybe thats just a bit of self pity coming through

No, that's not self pity. Depression IME is damn lonely, especially if you don't want to bum out your loved ones and friends with continual "I'm feeling rubbish" talk.

Remember, it's probably not permanent and there are better times ahead. But if I can offer you one bit of advice it would be this - don't push yourself too hard to 'get better fast'... because that's counterproductive.

bigblackshed - Member
....I was told to "pull myself together" and lately MTFU, it just showed me how uneducated or prejudice people are about it.

When I finally summoned up the courage to go and see a GP about mine, this was his reaction - he is an 'old school' country doctor more used to dealing with farmers. If you haven't got an arm hanging off, there's nowt wrong with you.

This really didn't help!

I went back a few months later and saw a different (female) doctor. She was brilliant. Signed me off straight away (initially, this didn't help as I then suffered with all sorts of anxiety (guilt) at not working) and prescribed me Citalopram. After 4 to 6 weeks, I started to notice a difference. I experienced real clarity of thought for the first time in almost 40 years. I was on Citalopram for about a year.

I've recently started a downward spiral again and need to get my ass back to see her. The usual guilt and internal MTFU-O-matic is preventing me though.

EDIT:

it just feels so damm lonely sometimes

I suffer with it sometimes, Self diagnosed, but I recognise when its coming on and try to avoid to much confrontation and stress.
Can find myself out walking the dog and just bursting into tears which is rather strange, although somehow cathartic :o/
I have all the right ingredients for a Happy life, and yet often find myself "Not in a Happy place" and wanting to just run away.
But having given in to that in the past it doessnt work, because the problem is internal not external and you just take it with you.
So I do stay now, I stay close to people, and I have some very good freinds that I can talk to when needed.
Its not great but it works and I`m not a fan of medication.

Camo
Thanks some good advice there - noted.

Its not great but it works and I`m not a fan of medication.

Me neither I sat and looked at the pills I had been given and thought how has it come to this. I am glad i persevered now as i am getting so much better and the phrase clarity of thought is so true

I recommend seeing a GP, meds have come on a lot since valium and the like

We do talk about it - lots.

http://www.google.co.uk/#q=singletrackworld+depression&hl=en&ei=N3Z-UfzKG9Dy0gWtpICwAg&start=0&sa=N&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.45645796,d.d2k&fp=ec9ba18b74ed0c63&biw=1276&bih=684

and
http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/talk-to-me-about-your-experiences-with-depression

On the medication side, I still think it's largely placebo. I have found that being proactive with myself helps much more. Hard to explain, but going for a ride, or doing something you know you enjoy, gives instant results. However, this wasn't always the case. I'd go for a ride, enjoy it at the time and then on the drive home have a massive downer. I'd analyse everything about the ride and be really hard on myself about it and literally fall into a massive rut of self hatred. I'm getting better at coping now, and part of that process was to not compete this year and concentrate more on just riding for the fun of it.

I don't talk about it because I am not depressed.

xcgb, you'll find the topic comes up on here fairly regularly.

I didn't deal with it.

My latest partner (having a father who had experienced a nervous breakdown) realised something was seriously wrong and gave me an ultimatum. That and the realisation that almost certainly I had been a life-long sufferer of bipolar disorder thanks to Stephen Fry's excellent programmes.

Saw local very understanding and sympathetic GP, diagnosed with serious bipolar disorder, GP offered to section me, which I declined. Immediately put on medication to reduce the severity of the mood swings.

Since moving to Norfolk (chance of pace etc.) had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (emotionally hard work first, but probably the treatment that has helped me the most), and went on several courses (e.g. managing bipolar disorder, improving self confidence).

Would be fair to say I'm now a new man. I kind of feel like I'm a late emerging butterfly!

Do I still get depressed? Sure. I just cope with it far better, as does my partner.

Yet another one who has been there. For me the solution was anti-depressants and CBT. That worked for me, different solutions work for different people but stick with it and you will get better. Maybe not tomorrow or the day after but with patience, not always easy, you will improve. Take pleasure from the incremental gains. Don't expect to wake up one morning suddenly full of the joys of life just keep plugging away. For a long time I was ashamed and wouldn't talk about my depression other than to my wife. Now, I don't ram it down people's throats but if they have a problem and judge me that's their problem.

We don't talk about it much because there is still a stigma attached to it. Break your leg and people can see something physical and tangible - people can relate to it, even if they've not actually broken a leg themselves. Depression is largely invisible and hard for people to understand unless they've suffered themselves.

If your back hurts you're still the same person. If you're depressed you're sort of not even if it's temporary.

Couldn't agree more!

I went through a spell a couple of years ago - fairly minor compared to some people, but I was a very different person for a while. It ultimately brought an end to a very good relationship (which in turn made things worse for a bit).

Mine was entirely driven by crap circumstances in my life. I was previously the sort of person to say something stupid like "pull yourself together and get yourself out for a ride - you'll feel much better". I had no idea what depression was or what it felt like.

CBT really helped me to understand what was going on and give me coping mechanisms to deal with it.

Me. Had it 'mild' by comparison to others, but was still on meds and a course of CBT for a while. Triggered by the end of a 22year relationship/marriage and emerging from divorce proceedings with essentially nothing. Life as I knew it ended, and I had a daunting blank-page in front of me which I had *convinced* myself I was looking forward to. The power of positive thought, and all that. Turns out I had to admit defeat and go see a GP.

Think of it as an injury, and, for most, meds are the painkillers, while counselling is the Physio. Personally I didn't enjoy the meds (made me so tired I had to go home at lunchtimes for a sleep!) and neither they nor the CBT seemed to be helping after sixteen weeks so weened myself off. Think 'time' is/was the best healer for me. I'm in a much better place now, as they say.

I learned a couple of weeks ago that an old Uni friend of mine recently went through a divorce, emerged penniless, lost access to his kids and split up with his girlfriend.

His funeral was last week.

It's so important to talk. So important.

As for medication, I was never a great fan, being of the 'stiff upper lip' 'grin and bear it' 'don't make a fuss' ilk.

However, the medication I'm on does work, I daren't stop taking it as I feel feel very ill just missing a morning's/night's tablets.

As with most bipolar sufferers, until a genetic cure is found, I've resigned myself to taking the medication until death. Which is nice, I never have to worry about how long I'll on tablets for!

Well I live with it but it's not me it's my other half she's been through 2 lots of Counseling and been perscribed last week tablets for the second time (1st time she did not take them) started taking them and she fell very ill within 24 hours and now has stopped taking them.

For her yoga really helps and exercise, for me getting the **** out of the house on a Sunday and on the bike keeps me sane with coping with her.

I'm sure it's not good for you who have had it or still have it, BUT for your other half's (and for me) it's a nightmare coping with someone with it.

Mild depression and low self esteem/lack of confidence here. Originally diagnosed back in '97 and put on SSRIs which I didn't give long enough before deciding they weren't working and quit without consulting the doc 🙄
Then about 10 years ago my GP referred me for counseling for social anxiety disorder. There was about a 6 month wait for an appointment which given the condition was plenty time for my imagination to run riot and I cancelled with about 2 weeks to go 🙄

Almost reached the point where I've got enough courage to go back to the doc again cos I can't carry on like this tbh.

Birky

Go to the docs and stick with the meds is my advice. I found this helpful, its long but well written (not by a doctor but a sufferer) but it was accurate and honest.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=46980

I didn't / don't talk about it because until it affected me, I always thought people with depression should just get some fresh air and man up. If I could be so unfair and wrong, then I would assume that others would be also.

Drugs do seem to have worked though, been on them a while and planning to see the GP in a couple of weeks to start coming off them. 8)

I've only ever told my wife (who made me get help in the first place) and one friend who was mirroring my problems and I felt would benefit from knowing that she was not alone.

Oh, and I guess anybody on STW who knows me.... 😕

I was very anti medication too but Prozac definitely helped get me out of a hole. Quite glad I'm not still on it though.

It does take a while to start working (several weeks IIRC).

Looking back, my mental state has got gradually worse over the years. I looked through my forum history and there's a topic I started on here about four years ago, having a bit of a moan. Quite a few folk suggested it was depression, but back then it used to come, and then go away again, fairly quickly. And I wouldnt see it again for months.

Since then I've had a couple of head injuries, one fairly severe where I was in a coma for five days. I think this has had something to do with my worsening state of mind?

I take SSRI's and have finally managed to get some CBT on the go. I'd say my time is probably split 70:30 between feeling ok and wishing I was dead.

Exercise and spending time with people definitely helps.

As for talking about it, it doesn't bother me to much really. It's not something to be ashamed of, it's not my fault! Everyone understands anway.

Good luck, apparently it gets easier!

Prefer your troll posts TBH. 😛

🙂

As a mental health nurse..

Medication works for some but there's lots out there and finding the right one for you isn't easy. Talking works for some. Diet exercise and sleep hygiene works for others. Sometimes what worked before doesn't work now but it may work again in the future.

1 in 4 will experience some kind of mental health problem at some point in time. Accept it.

Aphex. What to do you mean by sleep hygene? Clean PJs? 😉 (serious question, however)

That was part of the problem as that was all she was ever thinking about and it just became a negative spiral.

Which is one of the reasons I tend to try and avoid talking about it. I know from experience that one of the best ways to avoid falling into a deep dark hole is to just ignore it and try and find something else to occupy myself with. I'm sure avoidance isn't necessarily recommended, but at the moment it's the best coping strategy I've come up with. If I was feeling really down I wouldn't be replying to this!

Of course a lot of my issues are all linked up with stuff discussed in that article binners wrote. I know getting out riding helps me feel better, but when I'm down that's the last thing I want to do (and even if I do get out I can end up thinking too much about stuff and not feeling any better after a ride). Though the worst is days like today when I'd like to get out, but I've a long term niggling injury which just seems to be getting worse if I keep going I know it's not going to recover. Hence I'm doing no exercise and not feeling happier for it - fortunately I'm not all that down, though as above from experience I need to get my exercise habit firmly in place before I do get there as otherwise it's far too hard to get going.

Oh, and for me at least the drugs did nothing - which is depressing in itself. Not that I'd want to put off others from trying them as it appears they do help some people (I suspect it depends what's at the root of your depression).

http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/ask-the-expert/sleep-hygiene

Ta!

this might be a bit of a long read....
i suffered what was diagnosed as an episode of depression a few years ago...triggered by the build up of quite a lot of things that gone on in my life...
while at uni my dad suffered a major stroke that left him paralysed down one side and unable to talk...me and my mum ended up caring for him...whilst juggling my studies and 2 part time jobs....after i graduated the care for my dad continued, but it was having a really tough effect on my mum...then my dad passed away a few years later and it was just me and my mum, but she had become frail as the years passed. i then got married, but as my mum wasn't well we put off the honeymoon until she got better. 3 months later we went on honeymoon but halfway through got the call that she was in hospital again...for some reason i knew something was wrong so we caught an emergency flight back...we went straight to the hospital to see her and she seemed fine...she was happy to see me but told me off for coming back...we went home but just as we got in we got a call from the hospital telling us to get back asap...but it was too late as we never got back in time...my wife had found out she was pregnant the week before and we decided that we would tell her when we got back from our honeymoon...i never got the chance though...
after my son was born i started a new job but the pressure i was put under was immense and that's when the cracks started to appear...up until then i'd kept everything bottled up but the stress i'd put myself under over the last few years was starting to catch up with me...up until then mountain biking/football/gym were my releases but after getting married/ birth of my son my priorities changed which meant i didn't do this as often...after my mum died i stopped everything altogether for a few years, gained 2 and a half stone and lost contact with a lot of my friends (i just didn't want people to see me like this)...
work initially didn't understand what was going on or how they could help me but with me on the verge of a full on mental breakdown finally relented and started to ease my workload and gave me the support so i could go and get counselling...
i was prescribed anti-depressants but i refused to be hooked on treatment drugs so went for the long hard route via non-medicinal treatment...
fast forward another year or so and i'd switched positions at work and managed to find the right work/life balance and things have been good now for the last 4 years...
i come from a big family (7 siblings in total) but I've never told any of then about my depression as i don't think they'd understand it...sometimes i think that they may have also been part of the problem as they left me to deal with all my parents' problems by myself....only two of my brothers helped out occasionally but as they'd decided that i would be the primary carer that i should be responsible for it all as opposed to having too many people involved...
i still get the occasional bad day but when this happens i manage to find the time to go for a ride and try and get it out of the system then talk it over with the wife...
i felt really bad for my wife though during that time as she tried to help me but couldn't as we didn't know what my problem was...but she's stuck by me through it all...
depression is a hard thing to talk about as many people don't really understand why it happens or what it can do to a person...until they've suffered it themselves...

i come from a big family (7 siblings in total) but I've never told any of then about my depression as i don't think they'd understand it

You may be surprised- I was

i come from a big family (7 siblings in total) but I've never told any of then about my depression as i don't think they'd understand it

You may be surprised- I was

i've tried to talk to my brothers and sisters about it in the past but they've always given the impression that emotional issues are all in the mind and that you should just "get on with it"...so i've never bothered to tell them..probably as there would have been very little they would or could have done to help me...

xcgb - Thanks for the link, I'll have a read this evening.

I reckon the way forward is to get the self esteem/confidence thing sorted (looks like counseling/CBT is common treatment) then improvements in socialising/friendships/relationships, avoided atm, would lift the depression.

TuckerUK - Member

Since moving to Norfolk (chance of pace etc.)

Me too (moved back here for the same reasons about 4 years ago)

Life is a sine wave and the amplitude and frequency of the ups and downs are individual to us all.

I realise that I learn nothing while I'm surfing the crest of the wave. I am endeavouring to view the periods in my life when I am what I define as seriously depressed ( around every 7 or so years), as a time for me to feel okay about feeling incompetent, a waste of potential and pissed off with everything. That acceptance almost immediately eases some of the low feelings. I also remind myself that it will not last forever and that with time, I will start my upward trend again.

Each time I have found new realisations about myself and my world. Each time I have discovered new and different coping strategies, from counselling to Reiki to spirituality. We are all different and at different stages in our emotional lives, what works for one, may not be the most appropriate for another.

As a footnote, bearing in mind that we are all different, I do consider that the very likely cause for all depression has much to do with the repression of our true selves, so caught up are we in the ways of modern life and the pressures we choose to take on.

Peace, love and joy to all.

I've had several episodes of moderate to severe depression since I was first diagnosed 20 years ago. Over the years I've found that plenty of exercise and plenty of sleep are really important for me, and I cope with it better than I used to. I have tried various SSRIs at times, but only fluoxetine really seemed to work and was helpful if I was really down in my "black hole". Unfortunately, I've developed some intolerable side effects to it in recent years, so I have to cope without meds now. I had CBT about 6 years ago and although I didn't think it worked at the time, I found myself using what I'd learned a couple of years later!

TuckerUK - Member

Since moving to Norfolk (chance of pace etc.)

Me too (moved back here for the same reasons about 4 years ago)

Had grandparents that lived here. We love it. BUT, ****ed if I can find paid work. Not exactly conducive to mental well being!

Depression here, too. Never been on drugs and will resist them if I can. CBT worked for me during a bad bout, but it doesn't fix the underlying issues, so I am now paying to see a therapist every week. Been doing that for a year now and it's slow progress, but I think I'm getting somewhere!

Raises hand. Suffered with it mildly in 2009, and have been suffering with it big time on and off for the past 8 months. The last month has been better though. I should probably swallow some pride and speak to my gp at some point.

I'm always happy to talk about it tbh but it doesn't tend to come up in everyday conversation. I understand why people are nervous of discussing it though.

I'm lucky, I guess, in that with me it's always had a specific cause that could be got past- once a bad injury, once a bad life situation. First time round I resisted medication and regret it massively, second time I resisted medication and it turned out to be the right choice, so that probably tells you any advice I can offer is useless...

I think I've been on the cusp of depression for a few years and was actually going to make an appointment with my GP a couple of weeks back. There is a history of It in my family and my wife has had problems since her dad died at 53 ten years ago.
My problem is I get fairly low and find myself moaning at my kids which is pretty unfair and go through bouts of lacking interest in anything going on around me. Cycling helps as If I can get out for even an hour of cycling as fast as I can (not fast) on my mtb or road bike I get a lift for a wee while. Im no different to others in that I worry about cash , work , family and weird things like pipes bursting and other random incidents. The thing that puts me off AD's is that I might be on them for life , years ago I looked into Meditation as I was reading up on Buddhism so maybe thats something to look back into.
Bit of a rambling post I know.

years ago I looked into Meditation as I was reading up on Buddhism so maybe thats something to look back into.

Haha, I went to a Buddhist meditation class last week, nearly had a panic attack!

But I've been told its probably worth persevering with, but probably better to do it in my own time.

Get well soon OP.
Not had meds for years but needed them at first.Not for me in the end.
Cycling was/is a better treatment in the long term imo.
I don't like to talk about it tbh , I recognise I'm susceptible & quietly manage things.

Citalopram here since last november - dealt with the panic attacks fine but feeling a bit of an empty void at the moment - not up or down but a bit of an automaton so back to the gp shortly. Still with Siegfried Sassoon at the moment!

'Life, for the majority of the population, is an unlovely struggle against unfair odds, culminating in a cheap funeral'.

Meditation is good. I can recommend the iPhone app Headspace - really works for me.

doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?

a few years ago i hit a real low. couldn't stand talking to people (even more so if i didn't like them in the first place), would suddenly start to cry for almost no reason in the daftest of places (supermarket, bus, even at a meeting with a client?!). i don't know exactly what triggered it. perhaps it was a feeling of lonliness which is certainly how i felt despite having my GF and friends around me. maybe it was a feeling of not knowing what i was doing with my life....

one of my cousins was diagnosed as being depressed and spent years on mood altering drugs (Prozac?). at the time i was certain that i'd never end up in that position.... being dependant on pills (not that i'm adverse to drug taking per-se, just not so keen on the prescribed stuff) didn't seem like much of an alternative.

so as i felt myself slipping away i decided i had to change my situation. along with my bike i went back to the UK, more for a change of scenery as much as to see my folks and family. i probably wasn't the most pleasent person to be with so i took my mum's car and drove around the country for a few weeks. i cried then, too, when watching the sun go down over the Dales, or when having a pint in a pub in Suffolk. during my jaunt i met up with an old friend. it was during this time with him that i felt myself change back to the "old" me.

i think the reason for this is that he was such a useless, umming'n'arrring, driveless, unhappy person that it helped put my situation into perspective. i also decided i wouldn't spend any more time with him and haven't bothered to see him since, but that's perhaps another story.... after that incounter i went back to my folks and immediately booked a flight back home and got on with my life, concentrate on the 80% of my life that was good and either improve or try to change the 20% of it i didn't like, to no longer surrounding myself with lame arsed people who dragged me and my positivity down.

i'm not embarrassed about it. i'm happy to speak to anyone about it. maybe i didn't experience full-blown depression, perhaps because i could feel myself slipping, but i think it has helped me know who i am and what is important in my life....

but it also got me thinking.... are we programmed to always be happy? how do we know we are happy if we are never unhappy? surely unhappiness is a part of life that we have to deal with. and i'm not sure that drugs are the answer. obviously i'm no doctor, but isn't it better to change the balance in your life rather than in your brain?

there was an interesting thing about depression on R4 by Will Self about SSSIs and how common they've become over the last 30-40 years. perhaps in the past we were more inclined to "just get on with it", to grin and bear life and only those that were really screwed/depressed/having a breakdown ended up with some sort of treatment. are doctors now too eager to prescribe something physical...?

Been having issues since I was about 18, I'm almost 40 now.
It's funny how this thread came up today as I've just this morning gone back to the doctors to ask about increasing my dosage of Sertraline.

There are many people who sound like they've had absolutely horrible things happen to them, whole series of things. For me, I'm one of those who theoretically, has no real reason to be depressed. I just.....am.
Had an amazing weekend on the bike, most people would be buzzing and full of laughter etc, I just felt hopeless last night and this morning, hence the doctor visit.

Have an interesting job, great friends, adventurous interests, and yet, often I feel utterly hopeless. It's horrible really and I don't have the answer.

Wish the OP good luck getting to where you need to be. Hopefully you're one of the ones who finds the solution sooner.

I've had two serious bouts of depression since 2000. The SSSRIs helped get me functioning again. Shift work for 20 years was behind the first bout and I had 6 weeks out of it while the drugs got to work and I could function again. I climbed and visited most parts of the UK to play in the great outdoors every other week for 5 years, came off the prozac after 18 months.
A change of job and my daughter attempting suicide had me off the rails again. Citalopram worked to get me going again and thankfully I was laid off as the recession bit in 2008 as the job wasn't helping. If I hadn't had a full breakdown I would probably screwed my employer to the wall for their poor handling of mental health issues and discrimination. 18 months unemployment helped me see the wood for the trees and I've got my priorities right now.
I now work in a lower stress environment, I'm responsible for more than in the last job (go figure) but the work is more varied and the team is great. I've been off the drugs for 2 years now and apart from being a bit more emotional things are going well now.
OP keep the doctors appointments, I had to force myself to go sometimes and don't be afraid to ask for different drugs if the first, second and third ones don't work. There is a huge book of medical sweeties the doctor can consult and getting the level right can take time. (6 weeks initially and up to this for each change afterwards). If you have older relatives they will not understand and fret that you'll get "addicted". If you can let them see you really down they will understand (my dad found out when I curled up on his sofa on a visit and didn't want to go out with them).
Good luck, and it's important to remember "that this too shall pass".

You're amongst many, so don't feel alone in it.

This, there are many out there. Myself at times included.

Sometimes I think this is part of the problem when trying to talk about it. You try and open up to someone, awkward, raw, distressed. But the person your trying to talk isn't doing any better and can't handle your problems as well as there own.

I never went onto meds, perhaps I should have.

In the end I ran away from my problems. Literally, it worked in the end.

Finding those little joyful moments out in the mountains, gaining perspective. Rationalising. Sorting of the mind and all hat guff. Odd thing is, given the chance to go back through it, I'm not sure I'd opt out if depression. It's left me with a depth I might not have developed without it.

I'm still a bit of an arse, but a well meaning one.

I once read something saying it was anger turned against oneself. Not sure if this is true though and thankfully I just read this out of interest. Also offending any sufferers is not my intention. As with anything I guess there's a whole host of reasons, as well as solutions.

I am 99% sure I suffer from it, leaving me closed off emotionally to friends and family, often resulting in me losing my temper if someone just asks how I am or offers help with something.

An interesting thread. I seem to meander towards it in some ways. Its weird though, I am very reticent to admit to myself that I am depressed as it feels a bit like trying to cling onto a religion or something !
But I am and I do suffer from it so need to take control of it.
There is an embarassment factor. I have nothing at all to be depressed about. I do however put myself under extreme pressure - less so now i approach 40 but definitely pressure. I have never really known how to relax and worry a lot about stuff that is not actually controllable - to me that is the difference. Worrying is worrying, worrying about worrying is what leads me to being depressed. I charecterise it as having no drive or enthusiasm to do anything and looking for all the reasons not to. HIstorically that would be a mtfu and stop moaning conversation with myself. But actually no, this is not how it is. nSHeesh I dunno. But i do need to do something about it.

doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?

No.

It's all to do with early life experiences (before 7 I'm told) which shape our coping mechanisms. Just as with physical challenges, some of us are able to cope with far more than others. Some may go through life being able to cope admirably with anything life throws their way.

Some of us are less able to cope, and may falter at seemingly insignificant life events.

doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?

Down, yes. Clinically depressed , no. I can't compare my own small, infrequent episodes with what my sister experiences and puts up with. She's got help that gets her by.

Good luck BTW

My second post on this comment so hopefully I wont repeat myself , Im 41 so the same age as a lot on here . I pretty much ragged recreational drugs from the age of 17-25 and had bouts of depression that resulted in me moving from North East Scotland to London and back to Edinburgh in 1999. I doubt this has much to do with me feeling down from time to time in 2013 but certainly ****ed me up back in 1995.
So what makes people down in 2013? , as I said before im 8 years off paying off my mortgage but have an overdraft and CC debt thats not major but still nippy.
I love my wife and kids and only want to see them grow older , be happy and give me grandkids.
I think the for me the main question is do you 'Fire on' MTFU or face facts and see a doc to sort you out. ?

Some of us are less able to cope, and may falter at seemingly insignificant life events.

What if (unlike many, but not all who seem to have issues with depression) your depression is because there are things wrong in your life? Just how insignificant does it have to be to be something you're supposed to be able to cope with? I think I know why I'm depressed. I wish there was a way to not be depressed with my life, but I don't think it's going away until I make some major changes. Which is a bloody hard thing to do when you're depressed (and you've not found either the drugs or counselling to help much).

TuckerUK - Member
doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?
No.

It's all to do with early life experiences (before 7 I'm told) which shape our coping mechanisms. Just as with physical challenges, some of us are able to cope with far more than others. Some may go through life being able to cope admirably with anything life throws their way.

Some of us are less able to cope, and may falter at seemingly insignificant life events.

Just to say depression is not always triggered by 'life events' necessarily I don't believe, it can be experienced without any 'bad thing' happening. I don't know why I feel like I do so often, I just do. I wish that I could pin it on to something terrible that has happened....but there isn't anything really, not compared to some folks.

Probably an un-popular post coming

My Dad had depression for 10 years, from when I was about 10 onwards. He was very clever at hiding it from the outside world. It was triggered by him losing his (hi flying) job - but it was always a bit stroppy so I could see why it happened.
For every that is depressed, I feel very sorry, I hope you get through that dark place. But do not think that you are the only one's suffering.
My father was (what would now be) termed abusive to the family. Mainly myself, my mother and my sister. Violence, tantrums. He could never be challenged about any decisions, or else a 2 - 10 day "sulk" would begin.

He got through it, started to work again. But my relationship with him was forever scarred. We lived in London at the same time for a while, and that help reposition the relationship. He was an old guy who I was fond of, cared for ... but that unconditional family stuff - nah!

He nearly drove my mother nuts (literally) - she would call in the GP when he was in the pit, and he would be all smiles. And tell the GP it was my mum who had the problem.

He died two years ago - I'm sort of sad we never had that really close bond but the whole trust thing had gone, and I was weary of him. He was still prone to mega sulks, if thing didn't go his way ( and going senile really brought those out)

All I will say , is that you are a sufferer, go and seek help because you are really screwing up those around you. It is not just about you. You are not suffering alone, no matter how self involved you are.

The irony of all of this, is that my sister seems to be a sufferer. But is in complete denial. And now , as now live 1 km away, it is beginning to mess around with my life again. I have tried to broach the subject, gone as far as getting professional advice - everyone says "do nothing" as it will make the situation worse.