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Evening
I will probably balls this up but here goes....
For years I have suffered from depression. Days when I cant get anything straight in my head, wanting to cry/shout/crawl into a small space and dissappear. Mostly I have been able to keep it under wraps but on the days I can't, mrsvader leaves me to it and keeps out of the way. Is there an obvious reason for these days? Buggered if I know.
For the last 2-3years I haven't had a decent nights sleep with any regularly and recently things have been taking a turn for the worse. To the point of breaking down in tears at work. The upshot of it all is that I have finally agreed to some counselling and have an appointment with the doc to see what he says. It kind of hurts to admit there is a problem, the route cause unknown, but there it is. Its shit, its debilitating and I am struggling to keep the brave face on for minivader. Ffs this has taken me nearly an hour to type and I guess its only the lack of face to face talking thats got me this far. Christ knows how I am going to manage talking to a real person. So there is a bit of my life, not sure why here seems the best platform for it but tonight feels like it may be. Sorry for the long post.
You are by no means alone (on STW or otherwise).
Personally I'd ask your GP about anti-depressants, they can work miracles and will act much faster than counselling. In late 2007 I had a nervous breakdown and was down to about 1 hour sleep a night even on sleeping tablets. I was a complete zombie and unable to make a cup of tea on so little sleep. I walked out of my job (the main cause of the issue) and ended up unemployed and very unwell. Eventually I begged my GP to prescribe me SSRIs, which he did and the effect was quite incredible. Within under a week I was sleeping 7 hours a night and functioning again, which gave me a huge breathing space to deal with the relevant issues etc.
I agree with footflaps, antidepressants for the immediate effect and counselling for long term self management.
Acknowledging the problem is a big first step. Well done for taking it, good luck. Also, don't be afraid to talk about it; more people suffer (and often suffer in private) than you would think...
Christ knows how I am going to manage talking to a real person.
You really shouldn't worry about that. Just talk as much or as little as you want, the person you will be seeing will be a qualified professional person who will be there to help you, not to put pressure on you.
Relax and remind yourself that you are taking the first steps to getting better. Years without any decent sleep and constant pressure is no way to live your life, your appointment is the first step in correcting that.
Mindfulness meditation and CBT can help too. Check out the Headspace app. Good luck.
On another note, I totally avoided anti depressants when I was in a bad place last October. Previous family history means I won't ever touch them.
I knew the cause of my depression/anxiety and dealt very bluntly with the issue after seeking counselling/advice.
After sounding out a counsellor, I closed my business overnight, paid off all my staff and refunded all my customers.
That was the best anti depressant pill I could take and I ate and slept for the first time in 8 days that night.
Don't be afraid of dealing with the issue (whatever it is) but also don't be afraid of speaking to the doc. What works for one person doesn't work for the other.
As long as you do deal with it, and don't bury your head in the sand.
Good luck!
Theres no doubt depression is a very debilitating and often misunderstood subject, i can very much relate to your mind set ,and its a very dark place to be.I think its very important to understand what actually triggers the negative thoughts, once you understand this it can become easier to control your thought processes/patterns and start to deal with them in a constructive way. Regular exercise or something that concentrates your mind has had a mahoosive effect on my health and well being, and in time things do get better. talking to people always helps too, and some kind of counselling is always a good thing, antidepressants can take several weeks to take effect and it can seem like an eternity so don't expect a quick fix hth 😉
Mate, it's not your fault. People are out there to help you, there's no shame in telling them how you feel and they won't judge (there's nothing to judge anyway). Go see the doc and take it from there.
When we get ill with a lump, stomach pains, broken bones etc we go to the gp, just the same for depression, sometimes just accepting that there is a problem and youre looking for help helps a great deal, next is chatting about what the underlying problem is.
There are two types of depression, acute, which is caused by a specific event or events, and is likely to resolve itself over time (as the causal event fades into the past) and chronic depression which can be genetic / environmental etc and will be much harder to treat. The latter often requires learning to live with it rather than curing it e.g. a lifetime of SSRIs or meditation etc to manage the condition. NB Personally I don't see anything wrong with taking drugs, if they work for you. It's not really any different to insulin, CCIs, statins etc for treating a long term condition.
Meds worked wonders for me and have me a clearer head so I could think about addressing the underlying issues. The typical nhs counselling waiting time is 6 months...
Thanks for the replies. Still feel crap but at least got some of it off my chest. I know im not alone as I have seen the numerous posts on this very sbject. Some of them seem to be looking in my head which is most uncomfortable. I have alwas been a very private, emotionally closely held person so its going to be difficult trying to talk to someone.
Edit... I will be gettjng some counselling through work occupational health....
TJ used to swear by this book, for helping him overcome depression.
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I've got a copy you can have if you want (email me your address and I'll post it to you).
Ben
Are you sure TJ swore by it or swore at it?!? And cheers for the offer, will keep it in mind. Cheers footflaps
I have alwas been a very private, emotionally closely held person so its going to be difficult trying to talk to someone.
I detect a problem right there ! 🙂
People who keep things bottled up tend to suffer far more long term than people who share how they feel and speak freely.
Take one step at a time.
People who keep things bottled up tend to suffer far more long term than people who share how they feel and speak freely.
Pish. Sorry; realise you mean well.
The term "bottling things up" that you've introduced, and being a private person that doesn't readily blurt their personal circumstances, are in no way related.
As you were 🙂
Pish. Sorry; realise you mean well.
That's alright.....it's good not to keep things bottled up 🙂
🙂
I'm no professional, but if you're S Wales based and you fancy a ride/chat, I could do that if it would help.
Edit, I should add, the closest I get to off road now is canal towpath mind.
Thanks for the offer houndlegs but I'm not north Hants, So a bt far...
Virtually everyone gets better from depression, even the people I look after who are so unwell they are on my inpatient ward (I'm a consultant psych). It's great to see people get really well, get home and on with their lives after being in such a dark place and you will too. It may take some considerable time and different treatments suit different people and its a bit of trial and error but you should see your GP as well as occ health and discuss the options. There should be CBT available in your area and decent access these days. Also keep busy, exercise and don't cut yourself off from the world as it gets to be a bit of a viscious circle and definitely avoid alcohol and illicit drugs. Positive journaling has also been shown to help as well http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work. If you get in a really dark place don't forget the Samaritans.
Best wishes
Some good advice above - I don't have anything additional to add except that CBT, integrative counselling and anti-depressants have all worked for me. Take care and best of luck.
Been there and still go back from time to time. Its hard but a good thing to come to terms with having depression.
What causes it is a question you can look into but may not resolve.
I was and am a private person but surely you can tell Mrs Vader how much you hurt. She may not understand depression initially but better than hiding it and isolating yourself. Your right its hard to talk but you'll get used to it though.
Drugs can be an option but need to be matched to the person and the type of depression. Helped me. Councilling is also good, but there's different types. Find one that suits you and find a person who you feel comfortable with.
Do lots of reading about depression, the types, how it works an learn to spot the signs and patterns. You'll be able to spot the signs in others aswell. Don't just expect the doc to fix you.
Check Ruby Waxes book Sane New World, explains a lot.
Keep in touch with friends and family and talk to them if you can. I found exercise very useful. Releases happy chemicals, that's what is wrong. A chemical imbalance. Eat well, not just carbs. Depression can make you crave them, lots of water, leafy greens, slow carbs.
Your not mad, weak, failing or anything else. You're suffering from a very common illness. A very painful and difficult one.
So much to say but you'll need to find a way out with some help. You've done the right thing.
Good luck and drop me a PM of you want to chat.
Depression is a stupid little prick that wants you to think it controls you, it doesn't. Some days are amazing, some days are darker than dark. Roll with it as you can't change it.
You're awesome, your brain will try and tell you otherwise.
email in profile if you need a chat, I've literally been through it all.
Pik n Mix bipolar since 1997.
Hey DV, Ive just returned from Norfolk and whilst waiting to feel ready for sleep, noticed your post.
Have you time for a ride this weekend chap? I'm more than happy to listen and share some small nuggets of learning.
Ill text you buddy. 🙂
Thanks for all the replies. I am more than a little overwhelmed by them and somewhat emotional.. yet strangley at peace also. Things this morning dont look or feel as bleak. Cheers STW
Seen it in the family, in friends and in colleagues at work. From what I have seen it's usually not something you can bash your way through on your own so it's good to get professional help. Hang on in there because things will get better.
Although viewing it from the outside, but knowing people on both sides of patient/practitioner, don't be afraid to ask for a different counsellor/nurse, they won't take it personally, there are just people you can get on with and people you don't and things will work out better with someone you are happier to talk with.
Although viewing it from the outside, but knowing people on both sides of patient/practitioner, don't be afraid to ask for a different counsellor/nurse, they won't take it personally, there are just people you can get on with and people you don't and things will work out better with someone you are happier to talk with.
+1 to that. I tried a few and some definitely worked better than others for me. Also, what may be the best approach at a certain point might not always be so. Don't let that discourage you though!
Far more depression and anxiety about than you realise I'd imagine - especially at the moment with finances strained.
IMO 95% of people would benefit from CBT - hardly anyone has zero issues. Those of us who get so far into finding life hard that we end up in counselling are, in some ways, the lucky ones.
I went into my first session after getting signed off with stress at work (related to my perfectionism) fully expecting to end up in tears. In fact it was the most positive experience and after 30+ years of trying to deal with my issues on my own it was a massive massive release.
Step one is admitting you've got a problem and are willing to accept help. It's all uphill from there and IME you'll wonder why you ever let it get so bad and didn't do it years earlier.
Moodscope is great too - over time you get to see what the patterns and triggers are. Lack of sleep and too much beer always send my mood downwards, and now I know that I avoid doing either...
[url= https://www.moodscope.com/ ]Moodscope[/url]
+1 to that. I tried a few and some definitely worked better than others for me. Also, what may be the best approach at a certain point might not always be so.
^^ very true
I also got some benefit from [url= https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome ]Moodgym[/url]. It's an online tool using CBT-based principles and exercises.
Lots of good advice above.
It kind of hurts to admit there is a problem
You've made the first and biggest step right there, so well done. There's a massive stigma around depression for some reason. But you're "just" ill. That's all.
I have seen the numerous posts on this very sbject. Some of them seem to be looking in my head which is most uncomfortable
Yep, lot of it about, as others have said. I had a similar experience when I read this years ago: [url= http://www.wingofmadness.com/what-does-depression-feel-like/ ]"what does depression feel like"[/url]. This was what finally made me get help.
The fact that someone else was able to describe exactly what was going on in my mind made me realise I wasn't somehow weak or "going mad". Your own pain is of course very personal, and unique to you. But at the same time, what you're going through is very common, and it is treatable.
Meds have really helped me, but it can take time to find the right one. I'm not medicated at the moment, but I would ask for meds again if I felt the need. I've got much better at managing myself - more sleep, less stress, less fretting...
Good luck, mate. Come on here and talk about it if it helps you.
How's work?
Seems that I'm a bit peeved at the moment about it all. Bumped into a guy from work at the weekend and went straight into moaning about the place. The weekends should be for de-compressing, not getting more wound up.
It's a cliche, but what are the hobbies like? The things that take you away from the drudgery of the day-to-day routine? It seems that life takes it's toll on us now, so many things vying for our attention that we sometimes don't take time out to appreciate ourselves (I'm paraphrasing someone better than me) It's all go to work, do this, do that, look at our smartphones too much, don't look at our kids enough, all that crap.
I don't have any answers, if I did I probably wouldn't be as miserable as I am. All I try to do is focus on something that isn't this "feeling like crap" thing and asking for help when I need it, which you've done, so feel good that you can do that.
Make an appointment with your doctor. Have a look on some of the depression and anxiety forums, you'd be surprised but just by having a mooch around helps you realise that it's not just you.
Anyway, I'm waffling, good luck
Don't bother trying to work out what the original trigger/cause was, its not as relevant today as you may think it is.
Couple of good book for the loved ones to read:
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Yet more recommended reading
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I was completely unable to explain my feelings and emotions when I started counselling, couldn't event say what sort of mood I was in. It's a long and painful process though, or at least it was for me. Since then I've been through CBT and mindfulness too, but you need to find the right therapy at the right time. I was lucky rather than wise in that regard.
Another suggestion - find your local MIND and see if they have a support group. It can be a great help to talk with other people who are going through the same thing.
I have bipolar which includes bouts of extreme depression. MIND have always been fantastic with me helping me out of some very very dark places. Join up. It costs very little and worth every penny.
I've had a couple of bouts of depression, I guess both were cronic depression but came to a head over a few happenings in life (break up/redundancy/bereavement). Counselling helped the first time, second time I went on Anti depressants and got through it, third time I guess I knew how to deal with it better and managed it myself.
Talking about it is definitely the best but hardest thing to do, even if it's just with a friend or easier in my case with a complete stranger (no fears about how they'd judge me)
I think you'll find even your post on here is a brave move in the right direction.
Good luck and keep talking/typing
I think that different approaches work for different people, just because CBT or counselling worked for somebody else doesn't mean to say that it will work for you, you'll need to find your own cure.
I found the charity depression alliance to be a great help http://www.depressionalliance.org/
Good luck........
I have had recent experience of this a year ago
I was terrified of anti depressants but as it turned out it was just what i needed, made me feel worse for a few weeks but then suddenly its like a lightbulb is switched on in your brain and you can see the bigger picture.
I also had CBT and started yoga which i highly recommend (Yoga that is CBT didn't seem to work for me)
One really important thing to realise is that you can and will get better, it does take time though.
I started a thread some time back if you fancy a long read,one thing it shows is that you are not alone by any means!
Good luck and stay with it
Link
http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/depression-why-dont-we-talk-about-it-your-experiences-please
So work have come through for me and have sorted out some counselling which starts on thursday. I have been to the dr today and after a brief but frank chat with him he didn't immediately reach for a prescription. Instead he has sent me towards a new mental healt program called Italk who I will be calling tomorrow as soon as I finish work. Things are still shit some days and great the next but I do feel like, now I hae got off my arse, the light isnt an on comming train....... further information as events warrant.
Cheers everyone
Good man. I'll be interested to hear how you find Italk.
Life is a sine wave, for me it's about managing the peaks and troughs as best I can, without living a flat line 🙂
Thoughts are with you DV 8)
Cheers slackalice....
Well done, sounds like things are starting to move in the right direction!
I've heard that italk are sometimes a bit slow in setting things up, so be prepared for a short delay - use it to read some of those books and use the work-based counselling to clarify your thoughts a bit
Well done for seeking help, and good luck
At the moment I'm in a middle of a 15 session coping skills group based around mindfulness set on a DBT biosocial model. Technical stuff aside this does seem to be the best course of treatment so far, but the old black dog is always nipping at me ankles. For me it will be change what I can, accept what I can't, learn from the past, enjoy the now and look forward to the future. I cant change what or whom I am but I can learn to cope in a more positive way. Hard work and along slog for me, always and happy to chat and support, just give me a shout
Disclaimer, I've not read anything in the thread other than the original post.
OP: I've been where you are. Personally, I didn't get on with the drug method of treatment, I found it just disguised the problems, rather than removed them.
I had great success with CBT, to the extent that four years on, when I feel the triggers happening, I can run it through again by myself and head the problem off at the pass.
But... everyone is different, and I'll never say what works for me is the only way to do it. But do it you can, and there are plenty of people around to help.