[Closed] Depression

"Shitty stick". Describe.

go to your bike take it outside and ride it around, anywhere, it doesn't matter, don't even bother getting changed or looking for your helmet, just go and do it now!

Call the Samaritans they will be able to offer you some advice I'm sure and guidance through the nightmare that is the NHS mental health system.

We've all been there mate, you are not alone. Lots of us have suffered, the best thing you can do is pick yourself up and look forward to what you do have - there are lots worse off. Sounds like a cliche buts its true.

Perhaps read this about Mark, its very inspirational.

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/i-think-im-about-to-be-diagnosed-with-cancer-and-im-fairly-scared

You can do whatever you want, yes you can.

Death of 2 close friends 1 week apart,, split up, got dvt, ex had cancer(after breakup), father had camcer scare,put on 3 stone, can't even look at my bike.

Many of us have been there... some of us are there with you now.

Practically, the problem with depression is that officially it's recognised as an illness, but commonly it's not given the same attention as a physical disease or injury with a definite prognosis etc.

All I can suggest is that you try to see the doctor who recognised the urgency of the situation again - perhaps he/she can get you that date.

The more the people who matter believe in you, the more chance you have of getting help.

You have my best wishes - and, please, let us know how things turn out.

EDIT: Apologies if the above sounds trite. Wish I could help more.

Sorry to hear all that but you're alive, and the world is your oyster.....

I've been there and its quite bloody awful.

I got out by making myself do things I used to enjoy.

I don't want to share over a public forum, but if you feel like you want to air, you can email me. lugzy69@aol.com

Speaking as someone who has lost friends, relatives, colleagues and parents to the Grim Reaper over the years, can I suggest that, sorrowful though these deaths are - it comes to us all, even you. One day, you too will be gone. As will I. As will every single person on this forum. All we can do is keep buggering on (to quote Winston Churchill).

Take a little time to:

Say goodbye to your two friends.

Say goodbye to your ex.

The good news is that your Father had a cancer scare. Not cancer (unless I misunderstand you?).

More good news is that there are more people who are available to be friends with, and your three stone is something to work on losing, so that you can be friends with your bike again.

Start now. Go out for a walk. Breathe in the air.

All is well, all will be well.

Have a reaf of RealMans joke thread... if you don't laugh then you've got one major thing going for you!

Other than that... get out and do some form of exercise..

iolo if you fancy a limp round penmachno at any pace you like give me a shout man. my email is in my profile i live fairly handy. currently battling shitty situation myself so if you fancy a no pressure pedal and a bleat about things your more than welcome.

feel for you mate - the demons / clouds can visit at any time - can be in reaction to stuff or simply uninvited as your brain chemistry f*&ks up.

all i can say is try different pills- i tried a few different types - they stop you thinking and from experience you can wake up in a few weeks and its like the sun has started shining and you can start to take steps to get yourself out of the hole.

badger your mates / family to see you

try to force yourself to do stuff - walk, watch a film, take a bath, be kind to yourself, cook food. little achievements are building blocks

drop me an email to vent dlightfoot5 @ hotmail.com

i saw a Comm Psychiatic Nurse privately - was excellent - borrow or beg the money its worth it

More good news is that there are more people who are available to be friends with

nonk - Member

iolo if you fancy a limp round penmachno at any pace you like give me a shout man.

There you go.

I have friends but the way I currently feel I keep away. I don't want anyone to see me like this.
Thanks for the offer of penmachno but I'm down In west Berkshire.

There's a well-liked chap on here who felt pretty desperate a while ago. From what I gather, he stopped himself doing something, packed a small bag, and went walking. Weeks? Months? Not sure. Gave some things up, but realised he'd be giving up more if he didn't allow himself the time and space to realise how to find the joy in life.

Seems like he did. I've never spoken to him, just read his posts on here, but I hope he's still well.

Circumstances are different, I'm sure. I hope you find what you need.

Go back to the GP's. Any GP's you can get an appointment with and when you get in there, stare at him/her, slowly cry, tell him/her that you have an absolute overwhelming desire to run head first, as fast as you can at a wall so that then you can get some relief from the endless despairing tension and buzzing that you have going on in your head despite you having days where you are as giddy as 3 year old on a roundabout or are so despondent you can barely get out of bed.
Cry some more. A lot more.
You'll get taken to a quite room with the practice nurse and then some people will come in and talk to you in about an hour or so from the Crisis Team and they'll let you stay in there nice clean hospital while they start the long process of sorting you out.
Worked for me, anyway 🙂
Sorry, I shouldn't be flippant. It's one of [i]them[/i] days today.

iolo... drive yourself over to White Horse Hill... walk to the top.

Call Samaritans
Go and present yourself at your local surgery or A&E and tell them what's in your head
Print out what you've written above and take it with you.
And best of luck. IME depression seems to happen to the nicer people in this world.
Posting on here shows you've got what it takes to get better, the strength to fight it...

iolo,

I feel for you. There seems to be a remarkable number of STWers who have been properly depressed, me included, but who have got through it. For me, I needed more than just the pills. I got some CBT and it made a world of difference. There is help out there but it can be difficult to motivate yourself to reach out for it but it is worth making that effort. I didn't share my problems with my friends but have talked to them since and I realise they would have been there to support me if I had talked to them. I needed professional help and probably you do too but talking to your friends might be a start. You can get through this. I'm not saying it wil be easy or quick but you can.

Yep definitely feel for you - try and find an outlet if you can. Some say artistic things like writing poetry / painting work. I have found writing poetry helps - even though it's pretty poor poetry I don't worry about the quality it's the getting the emotion out that counts.

As others have said just get out on your bike or just go for a walk in the woods - it's well attested that exercise and nature help.

[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-14545885 ]Ruby Wax can at least get a laugh about her black dog[/url]

Depression is a horrible thing to suffer from. I've had a pretty awful last 18 months which have encompassed health problems, work problems, trouble at home and the death of a parent and since the start of the year I've struggled with depression myself. It has only just started to lift in the last few weeks. It is only now I'm feeling more interested in taking control of my life again.

Depression is a tricky thing to deal with. For me the key has been to keep chipping away at the things I enjoy and the things that matter most to me, even when there have been days where my confidence and motivation has left me. It can be difficult to try and be spontaneous and just hop on your bike for a 'pick-me-up' ride; depression tends to suck all the joy of doing such things out of your life.

What I did was try to set aside times of the day when I would do certain things, gardening, exercise like walking or cycling, sorting though stuff in the garage (I work from home so have a bit of flexibility). At least if I had a time set aside in the day for these things I felt I was gaining some form of control over the situation, even if the resultant bike rides were slow and painful. Slowly but surely I began to feel the benefit of this approach and got more enjoyment from the resultant bike rides and walks.

If you are having trouble feeling motivated to ride why not consider new but complimentary activities? I've started getting back into photography and the more I have experimented with my camera the more I've thought of riding out to differen places to take a few photos. Its the little things that can make a big difference and sometimes all you need is to view a familiar situation from a fresh angle.

Good luck with your situation. As said above, the Samaritans are there to help all sorts of people experiencing all sorts of problems and you might find a chat to somebody new really useful. Keep bugging your doctor for help. You have recognised there is a problem that needs dealing with. That is a positive first step but it sounds like you may need a formal course of treatment to help with your recovery. I'd ring the surgery and see if they have sorted anything out and see if they can offer any advice on services you can access through the NHS.

Hang on in there, it does get better.

ah righto iolo, i thought that you lived up here for some reason.

anytime though if you do find yourself up these parts.

I have friends but the way I currently feel I keep away. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

I didn't share my problems with my friends but have talked to them since and I realise they would have been there to support me if I had talked to them.

And of course good luck.

sounds to me that you are suffering from severe anxiety which has then led on to your feelings of depression.

Too many stressful life events close together can cause a stress overload - there is a tipping point for everyone. Your symptoms don't materialise overnight so, unfortunately, they don't go away overnight either. HOWEVER! with understanding of your situation and what has caused it you can break out of the rut you are in and slowly recover.

You arrive at a point, ever so slowly - almost so slowly over a period of weeks or maybe months that you don't even notice it happening - where finally your body can't take anymore.

You need a rest but instead of resting you add to the stress by constantly focussing your thoughts onto how bad you feel and why you feel the way you do and that you'll never feel good again and that other people recover but I won't.

This, in my opinion, is simply anxiety. The dark thoughts are all part of it. The mind plays tricks on you. It is not the thoughts that are causing you a problem - it is your biological reaction to them i.e. panic/fear therefore further feeding the cycle of anxiety and keeping you from breaking the cycle and allowing yourself to recover. Everyone has bizarre or strange thoughts from time to time however because you are emotionally and physically tired, you can't shrug them off the way everyone else does - you start to think they must be true or that you will, god forbid, act out on what you are thinking. You won't. The fact it upsets you means it is something you know you would never do. People in this state have been known to hide all the knives in their house because they are terrified they will get up in the night and murder their family. To those who haven't suffered - it may sound so ridiculous as to be funny however I can assure you it is not - it is hell. However, it can all be explained away as an over-tired mind playing tricks on you.

In my experience of NHS mental health care - none of the above was explained to me - I found it from a surprising source and it was my eureka moment where everything clicked into place and I was able to move forwards after 3 years of constantly fighting the way I was feeling.

Do not fear the dark thoughts - bad as they may be - you will be extremely surprised how common this symptom is - but because it is so horrible people do not want to talk about it for fear of the fear it may instill in other people who do not understand what you are going through. I can sympathise with you - I would not wish how this feels on my worst enemy, seriously. There will come a time when you can look back and laugh at how something so ridiculous scared you so much.

With the depression, you may feel that a minute lasts an hour and you count the hours until bedtime as sleep brings the only brief respite until you awake at 3 or 4am, wide-eyed and dreading the day ahead. Those early hours can be the lonliest of all. You are not alone - as bad and as isolated as it feels - what you are going through is very, very common and it is also very, very common for you to be able to make a complete recovery and get your life back.

There are some things you can try which helped me: -

A herbal remedy called Valerina. It is available online or from Boots - it is based on Valerian which is a plant. It took the edge right off the worst anxiety and depression for me when I was struggling at times. It can allow you a bit of breathing space in the day to gather yourself and feel what it is like to be relaxed again. Once you get the feeling, remind yourself that this is what normal feels like and that it will come back.

Don't be depressed when you feel down after feeling good for a while - it happens and you move onwards and upwards.

Do not google depression meds side effects - they will only scare you. Sure, there are horror stories out there but think of all the millions of people getting on with their lives who have been helped with medication.

Try not to wallow in self-pity - hard as it can seem at times - try and get out of bed in the daytime - although sometimes a 'duvet-day' can help! Get out on the bike - you may not enjoy it now but, given time - you will enjoy it again. Tell yourself that I am going to come back here in the future and remember how bad I felt today but that you'll take pride in forcing yourself to get on and do it.

Don't go daft with alcohol. Sure, a beer or two now and again is fine, but don't add to your problems by going on a bender.

Try and eat even if you struggle. Even a tin of soup if you have completely lost your appetite or some tuna mayo.

Plenty of water

Google Dr Claire Weekes - best literature I ever read on the subject.

Don't cut yourself off from people. Equally, don't bang on about how bad you feel to everyone. A bit like the biking comment above - it may not be enjoyable at first but you'll get back into the old way of life soon enough.

Don't trawl the internet searching for a magic bullet - everything takes time, sadly you won't feel instantly better in a day but maybe it'll take a couple of weeks or so but you'll feel it coming back in small steps.

Take care

Afternoon,

I don't care if you're fat. Come out for a ride with me next weekend, maybe at Swinley or Surrey hills. I'm happy to go slow, and I weep like a small child every other day so it won't worry me if you do.

And don't read this;

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/i-think-im-about-to-be-diagnosed-with-cancer-and-im-fairly-scared

- the guy's an arse and he thinks he's funny.

😉

I didn't have "depression" per-se, but I was very unhappy around 18 months ago. I didn't even bother with the NHS - I just went straight off and paid for counselling myself. It wasn't cheap and I had to take some time off work to attend the sessions (thank heavens for understanding bosses!) but it definitely helped.

Best wishes and all that - hope things get better for you.

Sounds like you need to feel like action is being taken to help you.

Trying another GP sounds like a good starting place to me.

bullheart - Member

Afternoon,

I don't care if you're fat. Come out for a ride with me next weekend, maybe at Swinley or Surrey hills. I'm happy to go slow, and I weep like a small child every other day so it won't worry me if you do.

Surrey Hills. Ooh, ooh, me too me too.

I'll have recovered from Cadair by then. If meeting ME doesn't make you feel better off, nowt will.

Google Dr Claire Weekes - best literature I ever read on the subject.

I can second this recommendation.
Helped me years back when I went through something similar.

I found [url= http://www.wingofmadness.com ]this site[/url] very useful a few years ago. Hope you get some proper treatment soon - depression [i]is[/i] a disease and it [i]is[/i] treatable. Just recognising this was a big help to me. It brought the issue into plain view, and helped me make more sense of what was going on in my head at the time.

Other things that have helped: St. John's Wort (herbal pills, try Boots); getting plenty of sleep (regular bedtime); eat as well as you can; don't drink too much. The other thing that helped me was getting a mountain bike, so maybe try taking yours out for a pootle soon as you feel up to it.

I have friends but the way I currently feel I keep away. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

I think this is what friends are for, actually.

We have a friend in a similar place to you. I know it sometimes feels a bit of a pain in the bum when he calls, but the fact is Mrs BigJohn and I are the only ones of his friends who visit him (200 miles away) or have him come to stay, and you know what? I feel privileged that he's let us in on his depression and we're able to make a difference. Which we are doing. And it's not catching so put away your embarrassment and get on the phone.

Surrey Hills. Ooh, ooh, me too me too.

And me!

I've been having a pretty rough time at the moment but felt planning things gave me something to work towards and to look forward to. Commit yourself to something you can't get out of whether it's a cycle ride or pub with friends. When you are out endeavour to have a good time and not to look for the bad things that give you an excuse not to do it again.

And talk to people. Often they say the same thing but everynow and again something clicks, even if all it is is they are saying it in a slightly different way.

i wish you all the best iolo in beating the dreaded depression.i have suffered with it for a fair few years.am not currently getting any treatment for it (as all the treatment i had didn't work for me/do not want medication either).the people on here are very good at offering words of advice/encouragement though (as you are seeing).one thing i would suggest is to talk/write how you feel (whether here/piece of paper/close friend)it really is bad to let it all build up.your friends wouldn't mind you letting off steam (especially after what you have gone through) i know that if any of my friends would feel down/depressed,i would be more than happy to listen to them,try and help.depression is a mother***ker but,it's sole purpose is to make your life bad (whether feelings/actions e.t.c) don't ever let it win.it has taken me a long time to start to realize that about it.my e-mail is in my profile if you want to talk further (but there are better people on here than me tbh who would be able to help (offer better advice) do not let the bastid illness beat you.good luck mate 🙂 adam

if you really want to get the attention of the GP and a faster and more urgently worded referral to the CMHT for an assessment.. then if its feeling that desperate get yourself down to a&e and you should be seen by the psych liaison nurse.

the west berkshire mental health services are going through a lot of changes at the moment and pretty much everyone i speak to on the phone has no idea if they've got a job to come the next day it seems... needless to say they're under a lot of pressure. i'm not making excuses for them but hopefully it might make it easier to understand why things are taking a while, its never anything personal or them dismissing your problems.

get out on your bike if you can, exercises does wonders for depression (and many other mental health problems) Samaritans are definitely a good call. as are these guys:

http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline/

Here's a description of the services in your area:

http://www.westberks.gov.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1763

these guys would be your main point of contact:

http://www.westberks.gov.uk/CHttpHandler.ashx?id=239&p=0

contact numbers are at the end of that pdf.

hope this helps dude 🙂

Death of 2 close friends 1 week apart,, split up, got dvt, ex had cancer(after breakup), father had camcer scare,put on 3 stone, can't even look at my bike.

The good news, if you can call it that, is that your depression doesn't sound as if it's 'chemical' to me, life has thrown a lot of crap at you which would easily make the average person depressed.

Yes securing mental health treatment under the NHS can be quite a struggle these days, but once you are finally in the system the care is probably very satisfactory. Unfortunately pills are a lot cheaper than counselling, but it sounds to me that you might need a helping hand with sensible and practical solutions to finding a way to move on with your life.

In the meantime [b][u]exercise[/u][/b].......get out there and do as much as you can, even if it's just a brisk long walk. Of course it will be the last thing you fancy doing, because of your depression, but exercise will work far better than anti-depression, it's just that it requires more effort than just swallowing pills.

Exercise [i][b]is[/i][/b] the anti-depressant .... exercise and depression do not mix, just like oil and water don't.

Also as previously suggested, if it all gets just too much and you hit a crises/rock bottom, don't hesitate to call the Samaritans - just talking to someone for a couple of minutes can change everything.

IMO

Good luck. Be strong. Do what's right.

The good news, if you can call it that, is that your depression doesn't sound as if it's 'chemical' to me, life has thrown a lot of crap at you which would easily make the average person depressed

this is a very good point, please dont read this as me diagnosing over the internet but reactive depression is incredibly common and it sounds like you've been through enough to make anybody's mood react!

In the meantime exercise.......get out there and do as much as you can, even if it's just a brisk long walk. Of course it will be the last thing you fancy doing, because of your depression, but exercise will work far better than anti-depression, it's just that it requires more effort than just swallowing pills.

Exercise is the anti-depressant .... exercise and depression do not mix, just like oil and water don't.

Have a read of this thread. It has plenty of decent stuff in it.

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/talk-to-me-about-your-experiences-with-depression

I am fine now.

This is what I was alluding to, which is why I said just do it now! don't even think about it!

Yeah I noticed that GW, I was particularly struck by : [i]"don't even bother getting changed or looking for your helmet"[/i] ......sound advise imo.

One of the reasons I don't ride my bikes quite as much as I'd liked to, is that I can't be arsed with farting about getting ready - obviously it would be worse if I was on a downer. So yeah, don't worry too much about preparing for an epic bike ride, just jump on your bike and go for a quick blast/spin.

can't even look at my bike.

This whilst not the cause of your depression, is perhaps the stumbling block to a recovery.

All I'll say is I've been in some pretty dark places in my time, many of them recently. I've been prescribed pills which did nothing for me basically, and tried various other things. None of it worked...

What did work? Exercise...

Been out on my bike loads, joined a gym, I'm probably the fittest I've ever been. I'm not the happiest person in the world yet, but I'm a bloody sight better than I was...

What GW said up the top about just getting on your bike, now... Most sense I've heard in ages! If all you do is ride it up and down the road outside your house for 10 minutes, pop it off a few kerns, try a couple of wheelies, it will at least bring a smile to your face trust me!

Oh and FWIW, reading Bullheart's story, I'd attribute his recovery to sheer determination and the desire to ride a bike and stay healthy. Exercise saves lives! 🙂

Been out on my bike loads, joined a gym, I'm probably the fittest I've ever been. I'm not the happiest person in the world yet, but I'm a bloody sight better than I was...

And the boy can ride too...

(mboy - Bullheart Allstars team rider)

NHS services are patchy and most have lead in times of many weeks and months before you can see a dedicated professional.
Self help in the short term can be found at drop in meetings with the added benefit of group support. Self help longer term is what will get you well. Try
http://www.depressionalliance.org/how-we-can-help/berkshire.php
Cognitive behavioural therapy and exercise are proven to be far more effectice than medication for most people in most circumstances.

miss-spent youth,long term unemployed,mixing with the wrong crowd, drug habit, drinking every day and depression resulted in me having some kind of breakdown. was put on disability by the docs long term and given prozac,,,,,, the perscription drugs didnt work,,, BUT,,,,

GOING OUT ON MY BIKE MEETING UP WITH A DIFFERENT CROWD, ENDORPHINS AND ADRENALIN DID WORK AND IT TURNED MY LIFE AROUND.

as has been mentioned, get on your bike wether you like it or not if you dont get home with a smile on your face,,,,, do it again, you will get there eventually.

im 8 years drug free (still have the odd drink though 😀 ) and couldnt be happier, 2 months into a complicated broken collar bone that has stopped me from riding has made no difference,,,,,,,, 1 day when its sorted i will be back out rain or shine and I CANNOT WAIT TO FEEL THAT BUZZ AGAIN.

also try a bit positive thinking,karma and other hippy siht,, no matter how pointless it may seem at the time it will eventualy make a difference, things just drop into place and you will look back and think,,,, what the f,,,,was i thinking.

good luck pal, i would never wish it on anybody.

Didn't really want to say too much, but in relation to others here; I was recommended to find an exercise related hobby 10 years ago.

Mtb became my saviour and my greatest hobby. My proudest and greatest moments (other than my wife & son) since then have been on my mtb. 10 years later at nearly 40 I'm still achieving.

Get on it. Ride it. It's an escape, a reason to have pride in yourself, a route to accomplishment and self achievement. Do it.

Ditto on the exercise thing.

If you have you're physical health, use it. I can't do anything without being in pain of late and it's bringing me back into my depression years.

Can't believe how long it's been since I've been biking now 🙁

My way of coping is 'find something you enjoy doing, anything, and do it lots'.

I don't think this has been mentioned yet but I found relaxation quite useful.

Breathing exercises, focusing on the breath and then moving onto meditation... various techniques to try! Look up yoga breathing online..loads of information.

It's useful to help turn your thoughts off and it's free!

Loads of useful advice here so far. Exercise is great and will help your sleep.

Good luck..you *will* feel better.. you are just experiencing a *temporary* problem!

In the last 12 months life has handed me quite a shitty stick which ended up 3 months ago with me being signed off sick with depression.
My doctor in Wales said I was just exhausted but I was far worse than that.
I went back month after month and he just gave me pills. These pills were doing nothing so I asked him for more help.
I tried councellIng, acupuncture, homeopathy and nothing seems to work.
I did have some very dark thoughts that scared me a lot but could get no help.
I transferred my doctor to one in west berkshire where I work hoping that would improve the situation.
The doctor there said I was an urgent patient and would book me into a clinic to help.
This was 3 weeks ago and still have had no reply. I called them to ask regularly but noone can give me a date.
I am getting more and more desperate.
This fantastic national health is really not working for me.
I hate feeling like this and am scared of what I might do.
Can someone please tell me how I should get treatment.
I don't have money for private.

Have you talked to anyone about your dark thoughts?
As others have said you have had a lot happen over the last year and the way you are feeling is a normal reaction to this but it's really hard when you are feeling down to get out of it.
The thing to understand about depression is that it is maintained by cycles (no pun intended on this forum) as your thoughts become negative you lose interest and do less, the less you do the worse you feel so your thoughts become more negative. This sounds awful but the good thing is that by changing one aspect you can turn this around. It may feel like you are faking it and you will have to force yourself to start with but engaging in physical activity really has the power to turn this around for you.
Have a look at a website called livinglifetothefull it's a self help CBT site which is recommended by most primary care mental health services.
Hope you feel better soon x

 

The most important thing to remember, when things are really bad, is this is just a phase, a passing period of horrible time.

It is not like your early life, it will not be like the rest of your life, its just a tiresome miserable period of time that will pass eventually.

Trudge through it like walking through mud, accept that is it dire. Remember that if you keep going you will get to the other side and it will be behind you and chances are, because for you the situation is circumstantial not chemical, that you will never ever feel anywhere near this bad again.

In a 6 year period I lost my home, my pets, my parental family fell apart and no one is in communication now, broke up with my partner and then lost the person who turned out to be the love of my life. Thats the simple version, it was worse and more complicated than that! Oh and I got a load of grief from work too. I just kept going day to day through the awfulness.
Lifes better now and still improving and if life gets a bit shit, I know I can travel through the rough bits as I survived much worse.

You can do this. You can win. Each day is a day nearer the better stage of your life. Each day you get through gives you the upper hand.

Never forget - the ultimate victory if things get almost unberable is choosing to live.

Totally agree with the riding/exercise/yoga/even meditation points made by others...........but specifically on your GP and what the NHS can offer:

Over the last couple of years in most parts of the country the NHS mental health services have introduced 'talking therapies' - the front line of these go by the acronym of IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies), and after an initial assessment you may be referred on for CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) or some othet kind of talking therapy. This is often combined with continued medication, so don't give up on that - but medication on its own is often (as you have discovered) not enough.

Why your GP hasn't taken this route for you I don't know, but GPs are a varied bunch - some are brilliant and inspired human beings and others are, well, crap! Be very direct and assertive in what you ask for and be very clear that what has been offered so far is NOT working. Don't be fobbed off. If necessary take someone with you to help nail the GP down to effective action.

Very good luck!

Most pharmaceutical treatments take a while to take effect. If you've been feeling naff for a while then it might take a little longer.

Hang in there, find some good people to talk to and keep yourself occupied.

Good luck.

I've been in the place the OP is in and I offer my full sympathy. I couldn't think of cycling. Exercise did 'save' me but making that first step is bloody hard. It's a feeling that's beyond feeling lazy or I can't be bothered to cycle today that you can't really pinpoint. I believe exercise and company is the best cure, I was prescribed many antidepressants, hyptnotism, group work and counceling. Nothing is a patch on cycling or running hard to clear the crap out your head and feel good about yourself. Good luck and please please cycle today, even if it's down the street, it's the biggest step.

go to your bike take it outside and ride it around, anywhere, it doesn't matter, don't even bother getting changed or looking for your helmet, just go and do it now!

this is good advice.. when you're depressed it's a nightmare even trying to remember what being motivated or interested or enthusiastic feels like..

don't even think about it for a second or you will put yourself off the idea..

I have not read all the posts.

There is no one correct answer to what is the best treatment - different things work for different people and circumstances. Drugs are not a cure - but they are a good treatment and allow you time and space to get better and also assist you to remember what it is like not to be miserable.

Same with talking therapies - its about what suits you.

Exercise is good - I can only echo the advice given about getting out on your bike - agree to meet with someone to ride to help give you motivation

I'm not an expert, but I do know that exercise is the best thing for depression, and power ****ing.

+100 to exercise, and if you don't 'feel' like it, maybe consider that you don't need to only do what you 'feel' like doing - feelings aren't a great guide to things we should or shouldn't try to do.

and remember that the only 'normal' people are the ones you don't very well.

The rubik cube methophore: in life the more to try to force order and control (over emotions) the more it does you in, don't over analyse, step back a bit and learn to just appreciate the random colourful patterns.

Death of 2 close friends 1 week apart,, split up, got dvt, ex had cancer(after breakup), father had camcer scare,put on 3 stone, can't even look at my bike

You've had the stuffing knocked out of you. That's enough to leave anyone feeling a bit low. Take your time. You'll be back. Stronger than ever.

Courage dude.

depression is a walk a bloody long one at times sometimes it rains but the sun does come out occasionally
stupid little things rather than pills and talking to people will get you through unbelievably switching from radio fives moaning to radio twos music for my 90 minute commute helped a lot by just having a more positive slant on the start of my day ( alas then chris evans arrived)

Go to amazon or a book store..and have a look at CBT. Cognitive Behvaoiural Therapy. Take it easy..

Be easy on yourself..

Look at the postive as much as you can.

One step at a time

It's common so don't feel like your the only one ( if that makes sense).

If you cannot face the bike.. Maybe a swim or soemthing...
Depends how deep it is.. go for a ride, soemthing else you enjoy etc etc..

Try a remove a sense of guilt..from particating in something you like..

please take comfort in the fact that if you see the RIGHT doctors, and take advice here etc.. things WILL get better.. AND you'll be stronger for it..take it easy DUDE

If you're about iolo, how's things?

Hope you're situation and mood have improved... update please!

Not doing so good.
Went to vienna, saw psychiatrist there, gave me some pills, finally got an appointment in the uk with NHS today.
Changed my pills again!!!!!!Guy really seemed as if he did not care at all.
Still having really bad days.
So all in all, shite

Onwards and upwards, it'll sound trite, but things will improve and you'll be a stronger person for it.

iolo - what do you think needs to happen for your state of mind to improve and stay good?

Anything anyone can do to help?

Pointless question, I know, but I have to ask...

Thanks for the kind offer camo but I'm ok. Just not feeling too sociable just yet.
SBZ if I knew the answer to that I'd be on my way to a cure.
At present my mind is like a very strange place sometimes and its driving me mad (literally).

iolo - i fully understand the mind being a very strange place sometimes aspect of depression and how it feels like it's driving you mad. I am happy for you to email me and discuss this if you want. I dealt with it for 17 years before finally getting it under control within the last year.

Thankyou dear

I bought myself a new bike
[url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/my-new-ride-7 ]See here.[/url]
Went to wales for the weekend yesterday.
Did one run on it on my favourite dh track and really broke down.
Drove back to Berkshire as I really can't deal with the shit in my head.
Can somebody please tell me this gets better as I'm struggling to cope.

Hey up, if you need to talk to someone, just say and you can talk to me.

add me to that list.

What I did:

I shared how I felt with a real person (forums are great but you need real people), people you trust. You would be surprised how good that feels.
If somebody you know, or on here wants to share their experiences with you, let them. It feels good knowing that other people have been there as well
Be totally honest with your GP, if they don't help go back and see another partner in the practice.
Give medication a fair chance, it can take a good four weeks or so to get going in your system. It does work, but it may take time to get it right
Work out what you are good at and do more of it
Get outside every day, fresh air is magic.

It does and will get better, but you may need to push to get the help you need

From the inside, where you are sitting, it looks like things will never change, that there is no way out, that no one understands how you feel, how absolutely ****ing desperate you are.

The thing is that you are not alone, that you are not the only person to feel like this, and that there will be others who feel as bad as you do. It is temporary, it may not feel like it, but it is, and you need to get through it so you can be you again, and so you can tell other people how bad you felt and give them, in turn, hope.

This too shall pass, it will fade, it will be less intense.

Your role is to sit and deal calmly, gently, caringly with yourself, it's not about being a hero, it's about getting through each day, and each day is a little victory, a small triumph.

Stick with it fella, and buy a cross bike next.... 😉

Drop me a line anytime.

Been there, done that etc. No one-size-fits-all fix i'm afraid as everyone is different but remember this above all else.

Your family, your friends, perhaps even your colleagues WANT TO HELP, you just have to let them in. The horrible thing about depression is the way it makes you alienate yourself from your friends and family. Figure out who you trust the most and ask them to keep nagging you to involve yourself.

Good luck.

I hear you but staying away from friends, not getting out and just hiding away will not help you.

My dad recently died, I had not seen him for about 30 years. A family member I did not know contacted me and I went over to a very hostile reception. I decided to tell my mum, she divorced him 40 years ago but i thought she should know, again i had not been in contact with that side of my family for about 20 years. Their are reasons I wasnt in contact with these people I dont really want to go into here but lets just say my dad showed no interest until he knew he wouldnt need to pay child payments and my mum/new partner were alcoholics from about me being 8 years old until I left home at 15, they were far from being model parents. I seperated from my wife of 20 years in January of last year which wasnt nice but had been coming for a while, fortunately we are still good friends and she has actually supported me through some of this.

3 months ago my house was broken into, various stuff was stolen including various bikes, luckily I was insured. My house was burgled again last week. While this is a complete pain it is only possesions which can be replaced, my son though has been very affected by this and is scared when in my house at times, this is a horrible thing to see, the fact that he does not feel safe even although he is with his dad. I also am very wary about leaving the house as the people that did it live nearby. My son was also knocked off his bike on the way to school recently, fortunately he hasnt had any major damage from that but it was a horrible trip going to see him at the hospital (we were there agian on Tuesday when his knee flared up)

I have had some quite bad injuries over the last year which have kept me doing something I love - biking, that may sound trivual to some in the scheme of things but it messes with your head.

Why am i telling you this? Up until recently I bottled all of this up, I was falling apart, had time off work (holiday - didnt tell them why I wanted to be off) and then I spoke to my manager, they were great and gave me a week off. I then spoke to my best mate, ex wife and current partner about it all, this has helped me loads. The break in last week wasnt great and set me back a bit but the first thing I did was take action. I spoke with people about it, I fitted a house alarm and I bought a new bit of bling for one of my bikes.

I have started getting out on the bike more, talked more to people about how I am feeling and have booked myself in for councelling (my work offer this and my manager suggested I should do it). It feels good to be getting out, the other week I went on a bike ride with a few guys I havent seen for a while, it was great.

The advice to get out there is something to listen to, people are offering to go out, people that have had similar experiences to you so will understand. It may feel a bit weird at first but you never know, you might make new friends out of this, at the very least you are going to be able to talk, be listened to and have a laugh.

I hope things get better for you soon.

iolo, a more detailed E-mail will be winding it's way t you once i've constructed it in the most proactive way.Until then i'll say all the wrong things here and now.

You'll notice so much support on here, many have suffered and still do with those dark dark thoughts and feelings. You're not alone, draw strength from that we're all feeling it.

Feeling let down by the so called experts is a common reaction i think, they are trying, even if it feels not much.
Speak to the samaritains, they will do so much to help you, advice you, reassure you, be there for you, 24/7 without fail. Call them, it will will most likely be the best phone call you've ever made.

As many on here sadly found out, last year during my darkest of days i disappeared and went on a self help mission to find the light, a light that would banish the darkness to it own shadowy hole.

Seek out in you, those things that bring you happiness or once did, maybe as a child, a teen or a young man. Expose yourself to that experience as much as you can or need.

That could be anything, for me it was the freedom of the outdoors and nature. As mentioned, exercise is one of the most important things to expose yourself whilst feeling low, it raises you heart rate and gets the endorphins coursing through your body, giving you that 'feel good feeling' No need to push yourself, just sucking in loads of fresh air can do so much.

Go ride that bike,as badly as you can if that's the case. It's obviously a big part of who you are, so be that you.

Reading Bullhearts long old thread is uplifting and inspiring stuff, when life sucks, suck it back.

I'm not sure whether reading the beginnings of my own story would be of any benefit at this stage. But some have drawn strength from it, some were even prompted to call the Samaritans after reading it.
You clearly want to be better, so need to go down every possible avenue to find YOUR most suited way along your path to happiness. My path ended up being about 650miles long. It was long, it was painful, it was worth it.
Try not to block out friends and family, do keep those closest, close.
Avoid moaners and generally negative people. Watch feel good films and TV, no soaps or trash telly, reality garbage.

If you're feeling low about anything, go out for a walk, a ride, remove yourself for some time from the situation that's getting you down. Use friends to make this possible. Knowing the situation, they will understand.

Waffle over. Speak soon!

Remember it's at least 6 weeks for the drugs to take the edge off things and help you get moving again. Changing drugs so regularly will probably start the clock again. I can't imagine doing all this on my own with no home back-up. As someone above put it "this too shall pass".
Tell people you know and love what is going on in your life. (Parents of a certain age may not understand the drugs part of recovery and I wouldn't recommend using them as a sounding board if they regard anti-depressants as the devils work!) Remember the doctor can't help properly if you hold back on what is wrong, if necessary tell the receptionist that you need a double length appointment at your next visit. My GP is a specialist in this area. E-mail me and I'll pass his details on so your doc can find a specialist in your area.
Good luck and all the best.

another offer of a chat or email exchange. email in my profile.

Use it