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Just a few months ago my mums care needs really escalated and we went from being able to monitor and assure from afar to either me or my brother having to be in the house day and night. The wheels really fell off and luckily after a couple of months of brinksmanship a place in a home that really worked well for her was secured.
At the moment my big concern is the home has been locked down to visitors since before the governments interventions ( "we the people have lead in this country and dragged a reluctant government behind us" ) so while her safety is being addressed the challenge is to try and preserve her relationship with her family and not to lose the connection she still has with us. The home is setting up Skype and other strategies which is great but I'm well aware that them facilitating that takes them away from their other work so trying to ration that out a bit.
I can't help feeling we've dodged a bullet in that respect though - caring for her through isolation would have been outstandingly tough - it would have had to have been 24hr a day solo effort really, for what- weeks? months?
How are others getting on?
Not great and you've definitely dodged a bullet.
Wife and I are stuck in Aberdeen and it's a constant battle to stop my Mother going out as shes still very physically fit but has no memory of what's going on, or the restrictions. We can take turns coping with the soul destroying repetition and questions but the thought of having to cope as a single carer is awful and I have every sympathy/respect for those who do.
Similar problem here. MiL is in the Western Isles and we are on the mainland. With visits curtailed, we can't travel up and my SiL on the islands is now restricted too. Occasional phone calls is all we can manage. It's tough on my Mrs. She is also taking on Legal Guardianship and that process has all but ground to a halt.
Sounds hard, feel for anyone dealing with dementia through this. My partners mum has advanced vascular dementia and is in a care home in Poole. We're in Yorkshire, we havent visited since just after Christmas. BiL is skyping her regularly, she may or may not recognise him, but a link is maintained. Lucky she is in an environment she's now familiar with, with carers who know (by and large - they were stretched before CV19) what they are doing.
My mum is 89, lives with us since February floods wrecked her home....she doesnt have dementia but has limited mobility and a few medical issues (Heart disease, stoma) and that's hard enough.
Every other day builds up to a flashpoint, we're all getting a bit strung out.
Must be dreadful if not in a care/nursing home.
MIL is in a nursing home that's been on lockdown, no dementia but physical disabilities and knackered heart/lungs.
We keep in touch over the phone and have managed one video call with help of a member of staff using their phone as a tether for data. MIL has a tablet, but wifi is very poor in her room.
God knows how you manage from a 'personal' home.
Sandwich Jr is a team-leader nurse at a care home. He currently has 2 isolated clients. The one with dementia is housed in the conservatory as they would not remain in their room, the other has more capacity and understands why they should remain in their room.
More worrying for my son is that hospitals will not take those with a poor prognosis changing the care home to a hospice. PPE availability is not good for them either but they don't get the same press as general hospitals (Lewis Goodall last night on Newsnight is a notable exception). This will be the next ministerial incompetence scandal.
ospitals will not take those with a poor prognosis changing the care home to a hospice.
Yep its a grave situation for staff to be facing.
I'm the full time carer for my 90 year mum, she has vascular dementia but does remember me etc.
To be honest I've got fairly used to being at home most of the time anyway even before this all kicked off.
During this epidemic living with mum is a mixed blessing. No one comes into the house other than me which limits the chances of her catching it. On the other hand, if she does,I know it's because I've failed in my measures and im the one that has definitely given the virus to her.
Over all though, in blessed to be able to be with her 24/7 during this.
ive recently lost my Mum last month to Dimentia after 5 years,god knows what carers are going through,or familys.
All I know is,it was a blessing for us in the end,so anyone going through it ,or working in it,my heart goes out to you..never mind the Corona virus.
All power to you poopscoop..
Over all though, in blessed to be able to be with her 24/7 during this.
To quote AE Houseman - "the pleasure of the moment is the only possible motive for action."
I have absolutely no idea of the context thats supposed to be in but I scribbled it in the front of my diary as a reminder that in contexts like this neither the past or the future really matter. My mum doesn't really remember very much or look forward in anticipation to anything - Its all about a moment well spent.
We're in an absolute cleft stick here. MiL has dementia diagnosed about three years ago. She lives in York, abut an hour away from us. Mrs Scape visits her every weekend to make sure she's got enough groceries to last her the week, and to do the washing, change the bed etc. I nip across in the week to help out with appointments, little tasks round the house. Her care plan has been evolving over the last 6-12 months but because she has no underlying health issues and up until recently few mobility or hygiene needs she doesn't qualify for any help with costs over and above a modest contribution from the LA. She has three visits a day from an independent care company, and has a hot meal delivered daily.
Since the lockdown Mrs Scape still visits once a week and does what she can to deliver groceries, as well as check that the house is still ship-shape, but it's a nightmare for her to make sure she isn't increasing the risk. Ironically we'd reached the stage where we were looking for suitable care home accommodation for her, but as she'd be self-funded we were struggling to find anywhere. The lockdown has scuppered this plan.
Mrs Scape retires at the end of this academic year, so our revised plan is to pool our resources and buy a house with a granny flat as soon as we are able.