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On Saturday, I was queuing at the checkout in a local supermarket when I heard "did you used to work at £$%@#?" I recognised the guy immediately (all 6' 3" and covered in tracksuit) and said "yes". "Yeah I remember ya." he replied. "Do you still work there?" he enquired. A single word answer from me - "no."
He grabbed his bags and walked out.
This chap used to work where I did before he was jailed for 5 years for his part in an armed raid on a security van.
I couldn't bring myself to speak to him because of his crime.
Yes he's served his time etc. etc. but I just could not engage.
Is this reasonable or am I being priggish?
Personally I would have discussed the merits of stockings verses tights for a mask and how much you need to saw off a shotgun.....
all people make mistakes in life, he has paid for his.
so I think you were out of order.
If I meet someone I used to work with there's usually a 2 minute conversation in which nothing is said and then we go on our way.
I'd have done that with him. It's a meaningless social convention.
I guess it would depend on the crime, to a certain extent. If there was injury, abuse or sexual assault I'd be a bit less casual...
Personally, I wouldn't speak to someone wearing a tracksuit outside of a sport setting.
"Armed raid on van" and "people make mistakes"
Hmm pretty big chuffin' mistake! I'd say **** him
Maybe he was stopping for a coke and a piece of cheesecake mid-run.
Personally, I wouldn't speak to someone wearing a tracksuit outside of the arena of sport.
Not even Sporty Spice?
Maybe he was stopping for a coke and a piece of cheesecake mid-run
He was wearing toe-post flip flops - seriously - he was.
Barefoot runner?
"Armed raid on van" and "people make mistakes"Hmm pretty big chuffin' mistake! I'd say **** him
Come on, we've all been there at some point. One day you're dealing drugs to teenagers and pimping out the wife, next thing before you realise it you're surrounded by pools of blood, a shooter and £20 million in used notes. It's just so easy to carried away with it all....
so pretty much anyone who has been in prison is not worth talking to or dealing with?
I will admit that I didn't give a job to an ex con. He was a convicted paedophile. Had that have been for, say, driving without due care, I think I'd have probably appointed him. What am I saying, well I'm not really sure but it seemed relevant.
Not even Sporty Spice?
Unless she was down the gym, then no.
Standards need to be maintained.
so pretty much anyone who has been in prison is not worth talking to or dealing with?
Only if they are wearing a tracksuit and flipflops.
Depends
Did I like him or not?
Did you?
Lots of immoral acts are perfectly legal
Lots of immoral acts are perfectly legal
yep, working in finance or being a Tory MP.
Both far worse morally.
I will admit that I didn't give a job to an ex con. He was a convicted paedophile. Had that have been for, say, driving without due care, I think I'd have probably appointed him. What am I saying, well I'm not really sure but it seemed relevant.
If you are a head teacher, I'd say that's fair enough tbh.
tomhoward - MemberI will admit that I didn't give a job to an ex con. He was a convicted paedophile. Had that have been for, say, driving without due care, I think I'd have probably appointed him. What am I saying, well I'm not really sure but it seemed relevant.
If you are a head teacher, I'd say that's fair enough tbh.
No - factory position. Not sure why even now, but I couldn't bring myself to employ him. I'm not saying its fair or reasonable, or trying to justify it, but it is what I did.
Not even Sporty Spice?
Especially not Sporty Spice.
If ex cons are marginalised then it is all the more likely they will return to crime.
I can understand tinybits reaction, but wonder how he even knew. Disclosure of a criminal past is expected for far too many positions where it just isn't relative, it seems to have become a political tool to separate sections of society, and likely does far more damage to the rehabilitation of individuals than it does to protect employers.
I think everyone is due the respect of simple pleasantries in a public place. Wouldn't invite him to my house tho.
To add a female perspective it's a fine line dealing with people you know have history for violence. You don't want to encourage them, but you don't want to annoy them either. Fine line.
I occassionally deal with ex cons who are being resettled as part of my job. The vast majority are ok, tbf the worst ones I probably don't get to meet.
It would have to depend on the circs. Two of my former colleagues got done for seperate fraud offences. One I never liked and wouldn't want to meet again for that reason. The other I got on with and I suspect I'd feel ok about meeting him again.
Even the peadophile argument is a question of degree. An 18 year old could be convicted for having sex with his girlfriend who was 15 years and 360 days, and end up on the sex offenders register. I'd be more comfortable dealing with him than a 50 year old predatory bloke.
Others will be along to tell me I'm wrong shortly.
so pretty much anyone who has been in prison is not worth talking to or dealing with?
Just because someone has served their time doesn't mean the sentence was appropriate NOR they're respectful of it, rehabilitated in any way, a decent person, now on the straight and narrow etc.
Different people commit different crimes with different motives then serve different sentences and come out with different views. Not all are the same.
I used to be mates with an armed robber, who also did 18 months on remand for kidnap and attempted murder (he got off, long story)
lovely bloke, to his friends, probably best to stay his friend though, and tread very carefully at all times 😀
EDIT: said bloke now spends his days working with adults with learning difficulties. People can change...
Different people commit different crimes with different motives then serve different sentences and come out with different views. Not all are the same.
Plenty of people commit horrendous crimes and don't even go to prison, just ask Tony Blair.....
He's probably accustomed to former acquaintances blanking him. However he was probably hoping to tap you for information on job prospects. Your reaction is understandable but how many ex-cons do you think you may have chatted with in the past? You didn't know they had been in prison and did that make any difference?
I would have asked him what he was doing and only blanked him if he admitted to having caught religion while inside; that's a sure sign of an unbalanced mind.
Unfortunately a few people I know have been to prison. One came out a much better person and I was always happy to see them. One came out the same and one I avoid like the plague. Depends on the person whether I speak to them. Unfortunately for some people prison seems inevetable due to the lives and situation they are born into.
Poor show IMO, he's served his time and that's it, I know a couple off here that have been inside and they're good people. made a mistake and payed the price...
Don't judge a person til you've walked a mile in their [s]shoes[/s] flip flops..
A member of a shooting club I used to shoot at was jailed for 8 years for the kidnap, imprisonment and rape of his wife.
It still makes me shudder when I think of being in the booth next to him while he was letting go with .22 semi-auto and .357mag long barreled revolver.
*twitch*
An 18 year old could be convicted for having sex with his girlfriend who was 15 years and 360 days, and end up on the sex offenders register. I'd be more comfortable dealing with him than a 50 year old predatory bloke
TO be a paedophile you need to be attracted to pre pubescent Children
Just because someone has [s]served their time[/s] never been to prison it doesn't mean the[s] sentence was appropriate NOR[/s] they're respectful of it, rehabilitated in any way, a decent person, now on the straight and narrow etc
FTFY
Edited....People are just people. Take as you find.
all people make mistakes in life, he has paid for his.
so I think you were out of order.
This
3-4 of the people I work with have previous records, you would not know unless they told you!
It is possible to turn your life round after serving time, its not easy.
I think everyone is due the respect of simple pleasantries in a public place. Wouldn't invite him to my house tho.
^^This. Blanking someone like that is weak. It takes nothing to ask "how are you getting on mate?". Simple politeness. Doesn't mean you have to be best buddies or buy him a pint.
If they spent the time, and learned their lesson, I don't have an issue. Got to be on double good behaviour though for a 2nd chance.
Paedo and drugs I probably would have an issue with. Just a gut feeling they're more likely to relapse.
I didn't blank him. I answered with minimum words and responsibility.
In our current tenders for work in London, in addition to the requirement for a high % of the work force employed has to come from local boroughs, they are now stipulating that a certain % has to be ex cons too.
We get audited on these and financial penalties imposed if we don't meet them!