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Apologies if you happen to have recently eaten...
So, my now 4 ½ year old daughter has been out of nappies during daytime for nearly 18 months, and dry at night for the last 5 months. Both these feats she’s very proud of.
Recently however, she’s started having an increasing number of mr hanky incidents. Not just skid marks from beginner-grade bum wiping, but seemingly full blown shat herself moments. She then doesn’t come for help, but tries to hide the fact. Childcare seem a bit surprised about it, and the last lot of nickers were so vile I had to lob them into the (very hot) wood burner. No amount of sympathising, cajoling, bribery or threats of nappies seems to be having an impact.
So, we’re at our wits ends with this one. I should make clear this has happened after she’d been dry for over a year during the day, and seems to be increasing in frequency.
Answers, suggestions, or simply humour on a postcard to the usual address please.
No idea how to help but this stuff will be great in ten years time to embarrass her in front of her friends should the need arise.
Yes, I am a bit evil.
Back into nappies until it stops if it were my young’un.
in true STW stylee withhold pudding! 😉
Shouldn't the shit be dried before burning as fuel?
PM me your address and I’ll send the next fresh set to you for the appropriate pre-treatment 😉
Sounds similar to what my eldest went through at that age. Time, kindness, patience, diet. We went through various hospital doctors but basically it just took time. Possibly go see the gp to ensure nothing is amiss medically, and just keep at it, gently.
Also, if she's trying to hide it, are threats and punishment going to help, or make it worse? I know it's bloody exasperating but it's not her fault. My girl started having issues about 6 months into first year at school (reception) so was going through massive social change and totally exhausted. That probably contributed.
Cheers, Keith
Threats and cajolery won't help. She probably isn't doing it deliberately, I'd guess she feels mortified and simply cannot talk to you about it because she knows how bad it is and how much you dislike it.
- Molgrips, ex-bed wetter. Yes, funny, haha crack a joke, go on.
Quite common for bubs to regress a little after ditching nappies. Don't stress. It's a phase. There will be another phase of something equally weird and wonderful after this episode.
She probably isn’t doing it deliberately,
No... but often it happens despite being asked if she needs the loo, and she won’t stop what she’s doing.
But, I get your points re me being exasperated not helping matters. She definitely looks mortified when it’s eventually found out, but sympathy hasn’t been working for the past few weeks. Ho hum.
Bless her.
My nephew did the same at that age, pretty emotional time for him TBH. My BiL didn’t do anything other than buy more pants and keep wiping it all up. He was wary of telling the lad off, turned out that his bigger brother was quite happy to call him “poo pants” in front of any family gathering..
Kinda just stopped over a couple of months.
I’ve no kids, but this particular incident didn’t seem that important in a kids life of growing up. Plenty going on now they’ve both turned into 12yr olds acting like 18...
I'd have a chat with a doctor as well. Incontinence can be a sign of something a lot more serious
I have a 6 year old and this sounds familiar. I’m no expert but often it just takes time. This is a good resource, and there are sections written for children which you can discuss with them
Regression is very common, often associated with an emotional issue or stress of some sort but can just be a part of physical development and associated changes.
Our little Lady has been out of nappies and dry at night since she was 2.... Started wetting herself lots when she was around 4. We think it was related to the arrival of her little bro, attention sharing, jealousy etc. Can manifest itself in many ways, not always a conscious action on the part of the kid.
Softly softly approach, don't make an issue of it, she is obviously very upset about it. Try to work through anything that is worrying her or causing stress. Hopefully it will pass.... Just another part of the joy/deepest depth of hell that is parenting.
Kids are funny things. When my Son was 2 he took himself off to the toilet for a No2 we thought we cracked it wahay. It must of scared him senseless. Back in nappies for a bit then. It takes time and patience. Do not draw attention to it or make it an issue and it will sort itself. Probably had a sore tummy or a little bit of constipation.
My four year old boy has developed the habit of whipping his trousers and underpants off and declaring “No poopie” before putting them back on. Thing is this happens completely at random. At home, playgroup, supermarket, just walking down the street etc. We are baffled 😕 but figure it’s just a phase and are basically not giving attention for it.
The getting up four or five times per night, sneaking in to our room, shaking me awake and saying “ Night night daddy” before taking himself to bed is ruining me though. Mrs F finds this hilarious.
Kids, utterly mental
Is she just so focused on other things that she doesn't notice the turtle head until it is too late and then she is too embarrassed to tell you? Could you try taking her to the toilet at set intervals to try and get her into the habit?
One of ours used to crimp one off in his keks when he just couldn't be bothered. It took to within a few weeks of school to get him to stop....
The getting up four or five times per night, sneaking in to our room, shaking me awake and saying “ Night night daddy” before taking himself to bed is ruining me though.
Isn't that what locks are for?
Mini Sims likes to curl one off in one toilet and then sneak off to the other to wipe and flush leaving a Mr Whippy to suprise the unwary later. When caught he says "sorry" in a tone that suggests he is not sorry at all and then laughs uncontrollably!
Check there's no bullying going on from his peers.
You think? why would that lead to that?
Thanks for the comments guys. We have moved house a few weeks ago, and being the age she is, she understands the implications of her little brother arriving in a couple of months.
Pretty sure no bullying - she’s got a very strong friend group and we usually see one or more of them at the weekend.
So, whilst I suppose it could be stress, I honestly think it’s more she doesn’t want to take the time out from whatever she’s doing to either go, or wipe properly afterwards. So whilst softly softly has its merits, she is old enough to understand consequences of behaviours. Mrs gets her to help wash the offending messy keks. Not sure if that’s helpful.
She's still so young. As parents you signed up to deal with this, don't make her wash them - bin or washing machine. Show her understanding and that it's not her fault.