[Closed] Dating in your 30s are only mad ones single?

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@Badnewz. I get what you mean. I like freedom

....and not having anyone else touch my toilet seat

I see a love affair brewing between mrsfry & badnewz... you can thank me for starting this thread at the wedding!!

So sweet 🙂

Don't forget to write down your mothers maiden name, DOB and the first line of your adresse......

love you till the money runs out....or the police arrive

I'd hate to be in the dating game- imagine it's time to sell your Santa Cruz Heckler on STW classifieds. You put up pics that you took 7yrs earlier (it looks different now but you want to deceive potential buyers), you take deposits/payments from numerous buyers and lie to each of them. Then when one won't stop contacting you you say 'look I've decided to hold onto it here's your money back'.

Well not quite the best analogy but its how it looks to me; liers, deception, mistruths etc.

Some people just want action, love attention but can't understand themselves or just feel embarrassed to go on the appropriate sites. They want taken out and seeing too regularly but without strings.

Then there are normal men and women who are genuinely looking for a partner who have to suffer these people.

Thing I noticed when I went on a dating site(well pof,maybe not the best dating site out there for non crazies;),was the amount of women who's photos just contained pictures of their tattoos,i don't mind tattoos at all as it goes but about 10 close ups is a bit much.

Don't forget to write down your mothers maiden name, DOB and the first line of your adresse......

love you till the money runs out....or the police arrive

Well I am due to inherit my parents house... 😉

The problem with online dating, as far as i can see, is that there's not much jeopardy involved. Instead of meeting someone in day-to-day life and having to pluck up the courage to tell them that you like them or ask them out it's just swipe right and send them a few messages, there's nothing to lose and therefore, it's totally different chemistry (i.e. not much). You don't get that tension, or the relief when you do manage to cop off with someone.

I reckon (and i'm no psychologist but i have been on a lot of Tinder dates recently) that it's a case of easy come easy go. Make one mistake and you're out the door and it's onto the next one. I apply the same rules, i'm picky and i find a lot of traits of single thirty something females a bit annoying. Kind of makes me wish i'd met and stayed with someone in my 20's.

But having said that i met someone in real life a few months back, thought she was my ideal woman, turned out she was a bit of a control freak and also had a history of dating mountain bikers. I think she just saw me as a toy or some sort of prey she could toy with.

It's hard but what else can you do except keep trying? Try not to let the bad experiences poison your view of females in general, and bin the girls who have a negative attitude towards men as soon as possible. Don't waste your time on haters.

I've been dating on Tinder since September, had a few single dates, couple of few dates, one few weeks and have been seeing a girl for about six weeks now. She's brilliant 😀

Haven't had anyone who looked nothing like their profile pics, the only thing I've found is I get more attention from foreign girls which was great as there was always loads to talk about on first date.

I don't know what it is about female profiles on dating websites but the following want to make me instantly move on:

Photo posing with one of those god awful fashion dogs with a face that looks like it's run into a concrete wall very fast.

Pouting selfie in the mirror, screams 'self centred' and makes you look like a goldfish.

Set of face only photo's without a full body shot (have to assume the 'iceberg' scenario).

Photos with all your mates - which one the hell are you? Probably the ugly one!

Photos taken with dudes - I'm looking for a girl to date, not guys to drink beer with!

Come on girls, you can present yourselves better surely?

[quote=hora ]I'd hate to be in the dating game- imagine it's time to sell your Santa Cruz Heckler on STW classifieds. You put up pics that you took 7yrs earlier (it looks different now but you want to deceive potential buyers), you take deposits/payments from numerous buyers and lie to each of them. Then when one won't stop contacting you you say 'look I've decided to hold onto it here's your money back'.

or buy a new bike every few weeks, sell the old ones on, complain on here that none of them ever seem quite right, whilst asking for advice on making them fit better...

Is that any better as an analogy?
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Other observations, single, no kids, probably a teacher and likes horses.

I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot. So far it's only people with delusions of their own importance.

I ride a unicycle and I've just had a shower, but I suspect [s]most[/s] some people think I'm an idiot - is 2 out of 3 OK?

I've been with the same girl since I was 16. We grew up in the same schools (primary/secondary), and I asked her out via text while I was on a night shift on new years eve.

I'm 31 now and we've been married for 3 years almost. I've never really been single, so never had to go through a lot of stuff on this thread.

We both bought each other at least one surprise present this year. She got me a Renthal Far Bar Carbon and I got her a..... Renthal Fat Bar Carbon Lite!

She's a keeper 🙂

Other observations, single, no kids, probably a teacher and likes horses.

Disproportionate amount of teachers on the dating sites.

And nurses....

It's all lies, they are really secret millionaires trying to check out potentials.

You can normally tell the teachers as they don't generally have profile pictures up.

Met some lovely people through online dating, and some absolute nut jobs. Most of the normal ones have also regaled stories about nutty men too. Hopefully there's somewhere out there for everyone, and as has been said before, embrace your nuttiness and hopefully you'll find someone who compliments it.

[i]mr[b]s[/b]fry - Member

I just want to meet a person[/i]

I'm not understanding the "Mrs" part, 😆

Horses? I avoid the horse ladies. I concluded I'd never see her. Or if I wanted to see her, I'd have to visit the stables, etc. Nope, none of those types for me.

Ref dating sites and ladies profile pages. I did get the impression a lot of them were trying very hard. I'd read the "about me" section only to discover that the lady in question had such a full and busy life, Work, family, friends, travel, there'd be little or no room for a/the Man in her life.

I'd suggest that there may indeed be some scope for online dating coaching. For both Women and Men.
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Arrogance is an issue, but so is insecurity. Generally the more you get to know someone, either through friendship or a relationship, the more you come to understand how petrified many people are behind the normal "I'm fine" behavior.
The problem is that people are invisible. You never know what someone is feeling or thinking. And online dating just tends to be a showroom where people put themselves on display, polished and often available for a test run.

If I'm single in the future I'm just going to live my life, enjoy it and not worry about the conventions of society and what it expects. Post- first child everyone told me we had to have a second, various explanations why but it seems like a social conformity exercise.

So we stayed with one. What made us happy. Not two kids- no longer having regular sex or going out etc.

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company - love rides on my own and most of the days oit.

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself?

Humans need company, of that I'm sure. But whether they need a romantic relationship, depends on the person. I would go crazy without seeing some friends down the pub once a week, but I can live without a romantic relationship fairly easily.

Then again, someone once said, "It is not good for man to be alone."

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company - love rides on my own and most of the days oit.

@Solo 'A girl can dream, can't she?'

I know i could never live with another person, let alone marry someone (there'd be armed police on the street before bedtime) I have far to many issues to do anything long term (more than a week).
Sometime i wouldn't mind going for a ride, kebab and a game of pat-o-cake with someone

[quote=hora ]Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company - love rides on my own and most of the days oit.

That is easy to say when you have the option and you're not on your own the whole time.

[i]hora - Member

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company[/i]

Come on Hora. You know it takes all sorts, even you would be among the first to admit the world is a better place because we're not all the same.

[i]badnewz - Member

But whether they need a romantic relationship, depends on the person[/i]

Exactly, just as Hora is apparently happy with his own company, equally there will be those who are burdened with a need to care for someone special, to them.

It's a fuuny'ole game, both Men and Women looking for someone.
I've had 13 months out of the dating game. I just became so disillusioned about the entire OD scene, that I just walked away.

I'm mid 40s and my "read" is that the few eligible Women my age or slightly younger aren't interested in Men my age, but instead chase lads in their late 20s to late 30s. I'm on the shelf in my mid 40s 😆
That's how cut-throat the dating game has become, imo.
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As for [i]crazies[/i], obviously neither side of the gender divide has a monopoly on that front. It's just that I think Men and Women do crazy in different ways.

[i]mrsfry - Member

@Solo 'A girl can dream, can't she?'[/i]

Ah! optimism, good for you.
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[i]aracer - Member

That is easy to say when you have the option and you're not on your own the whole time. [/i]

Yeap, I get this from married guys when this topic arises in the office. They eulogize about how great their life would be if they were single again, how they're more than happy in their own company and what they'd do, if they had their time again.
These remarks are quickly "balanced out" with claims of how much they love their children and wouldn't swap them for the world, etc, etc.

Of course, the contradiction is glaringly obvious, so I just listen and politely portray an image of my paying attention to their verbal ramblings. Coffee breaks in the office could be worse.
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I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot.

[i] mrsfry - Member
I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot.[/i]

Oh, now the list is growing. A few pages back, I thought the general consensus was all a Man needed to get the ladeez, was to be a good dancer 😆

I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot.

Wait, I've got it!

It's one of those pick two things again? Or maybe pick one + dance

As a 44yr old that is currently staying with parents and can't dance, I may be a lost cause

Aracer you could also argue that it's continual work keeping a happy relationship when people naturally evolve and change over time.

Sometimes it's easier to let it go/give up.

But looking at some girls I've bumped into over the years she's definitely not as hard work, batshit mental or one of those females who suddenly start to regress (want to find that 18,yr old inside themselves again and start going drink/having some sort of crisis in their late 30's that I've observed in some).

My bestmate brothers marriage broke up. He found a great girl on line- then after a short while she said 'do you mind if I also date others but we still see each other'? She had had her head turned by all the male interest online.
In the old days she's know she as a slapper but now they thinks its 'the norm'? And blame it on the dating site phenomenon. Again change the name from 'dating sites' to 'casual sex finder' and they'd bloody get a grip and stop being a total slapper.

Just be yourselves.

And blame it on the dating site phenomenon

This has got even worse with Tinder, which is putting all the other dating sites out of business.

There is no dating scene now, just hookup culture.

MGTOW FTW

Nah - Sounds like yous are doing it all wrong. You have to be just as patient and discerning online as offline. There is an element of just finding sex for some but that happened about 3 million years ago too. Being a "Slapper" is the norm for confident sexual women these days. Guys have been doing that with cultural endorsement for years. Nothing wrong with the ladies doing it as well and keeping options open. The label is just different.

He found a great girl on line- then after a short while she said 'do you mind if I also date others but we still see each other'?

Why does that necessarily make her a slapper? If she's being open and honest about it he can either decide to live with it or not.

Yikes it sounds terrifying!

18 months ago mrs_d found a lump in her breast. During treatment she said to me "if this is it, promise me you'll find someone else"
I said yes but never meant it. I think I'd be doing what Iron Maiden suggested, and Run To The Hills

She's through the treatment now & prognosis is good so thankfully I won't have to take her up on that just yet. But again, reading this, RTTH sounds like a good idea

So a bloke boasting he's slept with X number of girls a week is seen as what by society? Jack the Lad, an uncultured Boar, or an deeply insecure man?

Every nymphomaniac/oversexed person that I've meant had hangups, insecurities and issues that overode their personality.

Slappers- look the term up Grum. I don't want to derrail the topic so I'll leave this here thanks.

I'm mid 40s and my "read" is that the few eligible Women my age or slightly younger aren't interested in Men my age, but instead chase lads in their late 20s to late 30s. I'm on the shelf in my mid 40s
That's how cut-throat the dating game has become,

47 here, done plenty dating and there are OK women out there in their 30s content with guys our age IME.

Every [s]nymphomaniac/oversexed[/s] person that I've meant had hangups, insecurities and issues.

I know what you're getting at and it's not necessarily healthy but also not necessarily wrong either.

hora - Member
My bestmate brothers marriage broke up. He found a great girl on line- then after a short while she said 'do you mind if I also date others but we still see each other'? She had had her head turned by all the male interest online.
In the old days she's know she as a slapper but now they thinks its 'the norm'? And blame it on the dating site phenomenon. Again change the name from 'dating sites' to 'casual sex finder' and they'd bloody get a grip and stop being a total slapper.

Just be yourselves.

Do they actually check for STD? I mean it's a "Russian roulette" they are playing are they not?

Mixing different fluid etc ... how about hepatitis?

I think they should present a cert of some sort like pron stars but then even pron stars get STD from time to time.

😯

Some scary stories here...

I met a lady on Tinder recently who is late 30s, single, no kids, fit, has just bought a nice Trek carbon road bike and so far seems sane. What is she hiding?

What is she hiding?

Does she have a lot of patio stones on a pallet

I met a lady on Tinder recently who is late 30s, single, no kids, fit, has just bought a nice Trek carbon road bike and so far seems sane. What is she hiding?

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maybe nothing, but you might want to get a vaseectomy ASAP 😉

I'm so glad I'm married and not dating.
I'd be absolutely useless and have the utmost respect for anyone that can read the signs and actually do something about it.

The thing I find is the teeny pool of availability, I'm sure dating sites work in the larger cities, but in darkest west Yorkshire, its not like there are massive amounts of eligible folk

Resigned to being single TBH

Leeds isn't a "larger city"? How dark is your part of god's own county?

I went through this four years ago. Sadly, most of them were mad. There was the one who told me she loved me on the second date. There was one who sent me roses. There was the one who invited me to hers for coffee and started unbuttoning my clothes as soon as I hung my coat up. (That was a good date but definitely not a keeper) There was the the non smoking, no kids, civil servant who answered the door with a child in her arms, cigarette in one hand and being a civil servant actually meant she answered the phone for the council on Wednesday afternoons.
There was the girl with the full length prosthetic leg that let me find out about the hard way......

But despite all that. I found one. Fit, sane single. Been together for three years, getting married next September and are due to have a baby today!

But despite all that. I found one. Fit, sane single. Been together for three years, getting married next September and are due to have a baby today!

FANTASTIC !

So glad I checked back on the thread. Good luck and keep us updated.