[Closed] Dating in your 30s are only mad ones single?

[i] Tom_W1987 - Member

It gets worse when the women are well educated and earn a decent amount - because women in their early thirties seem to be invariably earning more and are better educated than men in the same age bracket now. So the choices narrow even further because they are still wedded to the idea that their man should earn more than them. [b]Sex and the city syndrome[/b] - but hey.[/i]

Yeah, I forgot to include that. The lady I was referring to worked in a bank, degree, etc, etc. In her world, she has her children and she earns enough to fund a lifestyle centered around her and her children.
Men are now optional and are only required once or twice a year and done correctly, She doesn't have to bring with or take home, any "baggage".

[i]I've also had some women get really uppity because I married a foreign woman.[/i]

Seriously?

[i]That's probably why there are lots of bitter women. [/i]
Yeap, in their past they've settled for a "wrong'un" and boy don't those who follow pay for that, if they choose to become involved with said upset ladies.

Of course, on the flip side, there must be a small army of guys rushing around, doing all these ladies wrong and poisoning the watering hole for the rest of us.
Way to go fellas!
😆

So the choices narrow even further because they are [s]still[/s] now wedded to the idea that their man should [s]earn even more than them [/s]be similarly educated, similar expectations (including re dating) and to be independently succesfull

😀

doing all these ladies wrong and poisoning the watering hole for the rest of us.

there are creams for that.

[i] Malvern Rider - Member

So the choices narrow even further because they are still wedded to the idea that their man should be similarly educated and independently succesfull[/i]

Trophy husbands?

[i] Stoner - Member

doing all these ladies wrong and poisoning the watering hole for the rest of us.

there are creams for that. [/i]

Err, good to know, you know that?

Anyway, I think most us knew someone wouldn't be able to resist.
😉

[quote=Solo ]Anyway, I think most us knew someone wouldn't be able to resist.

That's why there are creams

jekkyl - Member

BoardinBob - Member

The one that dumped me literally during sex

We're gonna need the rest of that story please Bob.

Let's just say she was into a far more violent form of how's your father, and I wasn't willing to... 😯

[i] aracer - Member

Solo » Anyway, I think most us knew someone wouldn't be able to resist.

That's why there are creams [/i]

Apparently so, according to Stoner 😯

Probably another story we don't really want to read about, along with being dumped while "in action"
😆

Edit:
Oh! There we are BB has spilled the legumes.

Let's just say she was into a far more violent form of how's your father, and I wasn't willing to...

HOW IS HE? YOUR DAD! HOW'S HE GETTING ON? TELL ME! TELL ME NOW!!!

This sorta thing was it?

Or Malvern, they could be happy having a house husband. I thought looking after the kids was real work? 😆 Of course, if they are not - then they should be happy with the increasing statistical likelihood of becoming a crazy cat lady the further they go up the corporate ladder.

I love trolling my female friends on occasion.

Trophy husbands?

Good friend of mine, late 30s, [i]very[/i] successful professional, not a great beauty but hardly shabby, recently married to a completely skint guy in his 20s who looks and speaks like a young Peter Andre. She seems very happy. He suggested a pre-nup, she told him not to be daft.

🙂

Or Malvern, they could be happy having a house husband.

That is certainly another valid example of many available [s]stereotypes[/s] situations other than 'dates male who earns even more than she does' or 'becomes crazy cat lady/lesbian/bitterspinster' 😉

I'm single straight, solvent, and house trained, I moved to Hebden Bridge, the place is full of women...

...looking for other women... [sigh]

Let's just say she was into a far more violent form of how's your father, and I wasn't willing to...

Did she want you to be the woman?

BoardinBob - Member

Let's just say she was into a far more violent form of how's your father, and I wasn't willing to...

Met her on Plentyofpreyingmantises.com?

You were warned, nick. You were warned.

No more benefits from your friend then? That's a shame...

Malvern, you do know that with increased earnings or education comes a decreased likelihood of having a relationship with someone of equal or higher value?

I don't think that it's a stereotype that most women have an issue dating "below" them and that many men have an issue dating "up". Unfortunately society has drilled it into peoples heads certain social norms and the idea that they can everything. They can't - and when people realize this they get pissed and bitter.

Nah, she found a proper boyfriend...what kind of a mate does that eh? eh?

😆

Fitness singles worked for me...eventually...

although i had one epic fail when blinded by the potential prospects of dating a wealthy teacher i sent her a picture of me wearing Simpsons slippers....

the silence was deafening. 😀

[i] Whathaveisaidnow - Member
i sent her a picture of me wearing Simpsons slippers....[/i]

I hope slippers wasn't the only thing you were wearing 😯

Trophy husbands?

Let's just say that this fine catch has handles and can be buffed to a high shine...

I hope slippers wasn't the only things you were wearing

If they were, we'd be married by now, she isn't made of wood! 😀

I don't think that it's a stereotype that most women have an issue dating "below" them and that many men have an issue dating "up".

I do, but then again I've rarely earned more than any of my partners, often equally. Maybe the world of corporate ladders is where your stereotypes are more, er, typical? Most people aren't corporate ladder-climbers, you may find a very well-educated and motivated vet, surgeon, head-teacher, etc who actually dates or even marries their for (shock!)combination of looks, intellect and personality, with the pay-scale coming lower down the list in the selection process.

I'd not like to think that 'most' men and women resemble your (as I see them) stereotypes*

*Am open to possibility of being in a lucky/mercifully naive minority.

[i] Stoner - Member

Let's just say that this fine catch has handles and can be buffed to a high shine... [/i]

That's all well and fine, but Mrs Stoner is only really with you because of the moves you can throw on that dance floor, John.

[img] ?itok=YrIRzajg[/img]

Always amuses me how Women want a fella who dances, because we all know how important that is to a relationship...
😆

Not all women dating in their 30's are mad and bunny boilers. I was online dating briefly and I dont think Im completely bonkers, im told female mtb's are rare things! I did have one guy chat me up and tell me his bike was 'decent'. Turned out it was about £50 from decathlon.... not to be judgemental but if he thought that was decent he wasn't compatible for me. Ended up meeting someone online after a few dates but it unfortunately didnt work out as he wasn't the guy i wanted him to be. I was prepared to move abroad and escape the country and start fresh when I ended up with the guy I wanted after all. Now I'm not going anywhere and counting the days til our first Christmas together!

Fit, sane , single?

Miss Houns only ticked the fit box when I met her 😕 😆

Cmon GolfChick, we need details.

Whats his bike?

The new guys? He doesnt ride shockingly, I've managed to convince him to ride my hardtail so far which he enjoyed but there's no intention to doing anything gnarly together and Im certainly not taking him into the wyre forest currently, not with the mud slide level!

I was online dating briefly and I dont think Im completely bonkers, im told female mtb's are rare things! I did have one guy chat me up and tell me his bike was 'decent'. Turned out it was about £50 from decathlon....

GC, I had that but the other way round - met some girl online and on our first date she was telling me how she loved MTBing, she was a decent cyclist blah blah. Met up with her a few days later and she pulled this £100 BSO out the boot, it was wrecked to begin with and as I was fixing it I was mentally recalculating this ride. Within about 200m of riding, I'd recalculated it again to be simply "round the lake" and even that taxed her.

Turned out her definition of being a good cyclist was in the gym... Also turned out during our conversations that it wasn't the only thing she'd lied about; her age, job and profile picture were all embellished.

...I've managed to convince him to ride my hardtail so far which he enjoyed but there's no intention to doing anything gnarly together and Im certainly not taking him into the wyre forest currently, not with the mud slide level!

[img] [/img]

With that epic paragraph you may well be the very first person to have literally broken Finbarr Saunders!

[img] [/img]

You laugh about dancing, but a mate of mine took it up and was a total fanny magnet, with 25 women and 3 blokes in the classes, meant it was the cheapest way of getting a portion on a regular basis.
On another note about on line dating, yep did it until I got bored of these women who live in cloud cuckoo land and profiles written in fiction and dreams.
A colleague had an on line date, set up with a pretty blond slim and , well the office went ' bloody hell, lucky git'. Until he knocked on the door and this monster appeared. Allegedly no light shone round the door frame and she admitted it was a photo of her workmate on the dating site !! . He made his excuses and left......
If you find a keeper on them sites, then get your lottery tickets that week too.

I was single in the first half of my 30s and found that the men were either spoken for or not after a commitment. I'm pretty sure I wasn't totally bonkers. I also realised that pubs and bars were not the best place for meeting someone who might actually want a relationship and have something in common with me.
I met Mr Pea at Mountain Mayhem.

Im certainly not taking him into the wyre forest currently, not with the mud slide level!

If not intentional, you should claim it was anyhow.

[i] Thrustyjust - Member 
You laugh about dancing, but a mate of mine took it up and was a total fanny magnet[/i]

Thats my point. OP is asking just how bonkers Women can be ( in the eyes of Men ) and then there are Women, passing good Men by, on the basis he can't/wont dance. For me it's the latter. If she's really searching for Mr right on the basis of how good a dancer he is. Then good luck!

But personally I'd prefer a Woman of significantly more depth of character.
🙂

Solo, apparently that's because there is a real correlation between a man's skill at & willingness to dance, and his ability and enthusiasm in other activities. That's why all human societies dance - it's a way that women can assess blokes' shaggability.

I'm enjoying this thread. Just remembered a couple of other brushes with dating sites.... living in London I got a profile from a girl that went something like: "Attracive blonde, actress, motorcyclist...." which I thought sounded good so we arranged to meet at a pub somewhere. "You won't miss me" she said, "I'm the attractive one..."

Well she was late, horribly late. Just as I was about to leave a girl turned up on a Honda 175 and I hung back. Off came the helmet and, uh, well, not really attractive and quite podgy but anyway. Her name was Belinda and she had had one part in a TV commercial. Turned out she was late because she had set a pan of sausages on fire in her flat and had to call the fire brigade out... a likely story. So we had a drink and went our ways. A couple of weeks later my brother came to stay and I'd got some drinks in, planning to get shitfaced with him. The phone rang and it was Belinda, asking if she could come over because she was upset about something. So over she came and we all got smashed. She ended up sleeping with me and I can't really remember what happened, except that I was awoken from my drunken stupour by the sound of wheezing and there she was sitting up in bed, gasping for breath. Asthma attack! Her inhaler had dropped off the luggage rack of her bike on the way over so I suggested that it would be best if she went straight home, and being a gentleman I went down in my dressing-gown and kick-started the Honda just to be sure she left.

Next morning my brother appeared, bleary-eyed and sniffing like a hound. "Where is she?" I told him what had happened and he was quite relieved, I won't report what he said about the poor girl's looks...

Another dating disaster led me to another "attractive blonde" who turned out to be a Zimbabwean girl who was so overweight that she looked like a Christmas pudding wearing a kaftan and she had the foulest breath you could ever imagine. Oh dear. Another was a woman in her late forties who seemed to live in a rotting camper van, which she shared with two stinking farting long-haired dogs. I didn't even go past the first drink with her. Dear oh dear.

New dates are like buses on a wet december day, you wait for a long time and then they all come together, some smell,some dont reach the terminus, some are good looking buses, well maintained, some are mingers, with poor body work and suspension,and like buses when youve got your ticket and been for a ride then thats when you know if its worth getting a season ticket or just stick with a single.

Of the number of single 30 something women I know, it's true that the more attractive they are the more barking mad they are. This worries me as maybe they are not crazy because they are attractive but rather I find them attractive because of their craziness?

Come on, Solo - surely it's obvious why us ladies like a good dancer. S'all about the rhythm y'know...

Mister P - Member
Of the number of single 30 something women I know, it's true that the more attractive they are the more barking mad they are. This worries me as maybe they are not crazy because they are attractive but rather I find them attractive because of their craziness?

Bang on Mister P

To be fair, I don't think it's only women who are economical with the truth about their appearance on dating websites, from the stories I've heard from my female friends. I don't get it though- why would you lie about your appearance? The lying would put me right off that person from the word go.

surely it's obvious why us ladies like a good dancer. S'all about the rhythm y'know...

Maybe he shags to a different tune...?!

Sometimes... sometimes... we just make mistakes alright?

I remember thinking I was a certain height all my life. My wife disabused me of that notion on the first night we met. She had to marry me after that seeing as I was devastated.

'6'4" Adonis WLM...' became '5'2" Gnome, GSOH...'? 😀

Easy mishtaka to maka. At least you have your own fishing rod 😀

That's why all human societies dance - it's a way that women can assess blokes' shaggability.

I think I am more suited to the times when all you had to do was club her over the head and drag her back to your cave. I could possibly rub 2 sticks together to make fire if she really needed convincing.

That's why all human societies dance - it's a way that women can assess blokes' shaggability.

well, the problem of course is unlike stone tools, dance doesn't really leave behind a solid artefact to study, so as there are no real PPN societies left, one is left to look at modern hunter gatherer or aboriginal societies, they dance to tell stories, healing rituals, shaman trances and so on...

I've just realised why I'm single....

Having come out of a shitty divorce and after 20 years of being with the same person I was expecting to be a strange old bike hermit that would never date again, then I found the trick was to acknowledge that im a basket case and then find someone whose quirks complemented mine and then run off giggling insanely together. The problems seem to occur when people are massivley lacking in self awareness. Anyway, we all know that the crazies are more wild in the bedroom* so have fun and play safe

*good lord some have been properly mental biscuits and eye opening

surely it's obvious why us ladies like a good dancer. S'all about the rhythm y'know...
Maybe he shags to a different tune

[url= https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mL2Bgj-za5k ]Here's my favourite[/url]

Glad i've never been single enough to use online dating........ blind dates and speed dating can lead to much hilarity/disappointment, online just seems like far too much hassle.

And a serious risk of ending up hogtied in a foreign country.

[i] wallop - Member

Come on, Solo - surely it's obvious why us ladies like a good dancer. S'all about the rhythm y'know... [/i]

That wouldn't surprize me, that kind of flawed logic would certainly fit in with the general question in the title of this thread.

[i] vickypea - Member

I don't get it though- why would you lie about your appearance? The lying would put me right off that person from the word go. [/i]

Yep! Me too, totally agree.
🙂

Edit:
[i] ghostlymachine - Member
Glad i've never been single enough to use online dating
And a serious risk of ending up hogtied in a foreign country. [/i]

I think you'll find BordinBob knows a lady who'd probably like that sort of thing.... Probably makes online dating membership look quite good VFM.
😯

Well I feel very lucky after reading some of these stories haha. In my 20s so maybe it's different but I've never been "catfished" with tinder dates. Met my girlfriend on tinder and she looks as good/better in person and she's only a bit crazy. POF etc were all awful though, hated those websites!

globalti, yesterday

[img] [/img]

Jesus! I ain't as good looking as that!

Try being a speccy ginger and see how many days you get. I'd happily date someone mental, just to say I'd actually been on a date in the last 5 years...

Never been on an Internet date.

Just find it easy to ask someone out.

I'm old fashioned but don't mind women who wealthier of smarter - part of the challenge and fun.

I guess the Internet dating saves you time if you're in your 40's.

You can meet nutters at any age to be fair.

I've given up, took me months to find the guts to ask out [s]my last victim[/s] the last girl I liked from my tennis club and she said no and laughed a lot.

It's not worth the hassle.

Frankenstein - Member
Never been on an Internet date.

Just find it easy to ask someone out.

[i] j4mie - Member

I've given up, took me months to find the guts to ask out the last girl I liked from my tennis club[/i]

A friend who has recently become single swears to me he won't ask out the ladies at the rowing club or the tennis club. I'm currently undecided whether that's a good or bad move. His theory is you only get one chance. If that doesn't work out all the other Women at said club will know the [i]details[/i], close ranks and repel borders.
He may have a point, although this particular scenario doesn't bother me as I generally don't to the sports club thing. Although I did go to badminton regularly for a while.

[i]she said no and laughed a lot.[/i]
Crazy girl? Certifiable!
😆

Sure he might only get one chance, but it's better than no chance. And there is nothing stopping him being a decent human being if anything goes wrong. Sounds like he's massively overthinking it.

[i] greencat - Member

Sure he might only get one chance, but it's better than no chance. And there is nothing stopping him being a decent human being if anything goes wrong. Sounds like he's massively overthinking it. [/i]

He's a friend and yes, he's a good guy, thanks. I think he just values being able to attend clubs without having any [i]issues[/i] and explore other avenues when seeking a partner.
🙂

Edit:
In fact, giving it some more thought, I recall people have told me they'd never get involved with anyone in the office, for similar reasons.

The deep irony is that as soon as you get married you lose your fear of chatting up girls. I'm sure that if I was a philanderer I would be enjoying more "Egyptian PT" now than ever.

[i]"Egyptian PT"[/i]
Hadn't heard that one before.
😆

It seems a bit less of a problem as you get older.
Met and talked with some nice people a year ago when I dipped my toe into the dating pool aged 53.

Very luckily found someone truly lovely, and she is now beginning to say she needs a bike with discs, rather than her aged rockhopper.

But heard some horror stories from friends, including from female friends. I don't think all the blokes out there are honest or bargains either...

Solo - well there is the old adage of don't screw the crew which I would subscribe to (particularly in the office). Equally, there's no point in being lovelorn and worried about the consequences of what might happen if you are really keen on someone.

The main problem in terms of coupling up is this: people don't want to compromise, they are looking for the ideal, which doesn't exist.

The people who are serious about settling down and having kids in their 30s often end up compromising, especially on the romance and courting side of things - they are often married and with two kids within four years of meeting one another.

I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children.

My own experience is of a string of disappointments, definitely because my expectations were too high and I lacked tolerance and patience. Quite late, in my late 40s, I came back from working in France and realised that I probably was mature enough to marry and that the best kind of wife would be one with whom I could get along in the bad times as well as the good, because the early days of a relationship don't last very long. Happily Mrs Gti and I see eye-to-eye on most things except the room-stat setting and married life is pretty harmonious for us.

[i] badnewz - Member

The main problem in terms of coupling up is this: people don't want to compromise, they are looking for the ideal, which doesn't exist.[/i]

Ime, Women suffer more with this, I refer to these types of Women the "[i]Perfectionists[/i]". I saw one for a while, the pressure to say and do X,Y,Z, was significant. It really killed it for me.

[i]I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children. [/i]

I was listening to a BBC radio program about this, recently. I think my Generation saw the largest number of Women at that time, avoid relationships or anything "steady" instead choosing to build a career for themselves. And fair play, a lot of them appear to have succeeded in whatever field they chose. However, according to the radio program I was listening to. A lot of them now, V late 30s, early 40s, are apparently regretting not doing the children thing. Of course, their careers are coming good now as they have lots of experience and are probably starting to finally get to where they always wanted to be which is again another distraction from family and children.
And that's before they would have to start sifting through us lot for decent candidates.
Plus I've noted Women of that age group are easily distracted by Men in their late 20s, as witnessed last week, at the office Xmas do...
😉

I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children

i'm not quite in a hospice yet but i can relate to this

Many - certainly not all!! Sooo happy I don’t have kids!

Mind you, having found myself back looking again, I can confirm that single women in their 40's are way more “complicated” than ones in their 30’s!

(Actually no - it seems all gay women are complicated - why did nobody warn me of this?????)

Rachel

(Actually no - it seems all [s]gay women[/s] [b][u]people[/u][/b] are complicated - why did nobody warn me of this?????)

I don't think gender or sexuality comes into it! 🙂

I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children.

Maybe because they had no-one close to look after them and keep them out of a hospice. To expand the generalisation further everyone regrets things they didn't do from turning down a job to the "one" that got away maybe.

You make your choices in life and let the chips fall where they may. It could well have turned out a lot different travelling down a different road. Maybe better, maybe worse, who knows?

Avoid chaps who are still living at home or want you to meet their mothers/fathers. Chaps who say 'I need to call my mum to tell her where i am" WTF! I just walk away.

Men how can you be still under your mothers apron at that age! 😯

Worst line i have heard was "When my parents die, i will get the house" i ran into the night screaming.

Worst line i have heard was "When my parents die, i will get the house" i ran into the night screaming.

Unfortunately for the younger generations, this is the only way they are going to get on the property-ladder!

I wasn’t being entirely serious, woody2000… 🙂

Rachel

He wasn't young, He's 40 and still at home.

I now ban all friends from trying to farm me out.

I couldn’t even imagine living with my parents at 40 - we’d drive each other mad!!

Rachel

Understood, I'm just wondering how it will affect dating conventions in the future, as most of the people where I live who are in their 20s live at home now and say they can't afford the rents (which I can believe in many cases).
We may be returning to multi-generational families (i.e. people can't afford to move out until they've met someone).

I think it's not a case of 'only the mad ones' but you do need a bit of luck and good timing. I'm very lucky, myself and the better half both found ourselves single within a few months of each other. He's not perfect, but as luck would have it, he's perfect for me. Plus we both agree that the relationship would probably have never worked if we had met in our twenties as we are both more tolerant, kinder and I guess aware of everything that has failed in previous relationships.

Well maybe more.luck than judgement but ive never met a woman who wanted to "change me" and now at 44 and single they would have **** all chance:-)

May be im a bit old fashioned but you go out with people because you like who they are not some big plan at moulding them on how you want them to be.thats just mad!

I think I'd be very hard to change now too. I've been single for so long I'm simply too used to doing what I want, when I want. It is threads like these which make me think I will stay like this, as there are a lot of "complicated" people out there, and in all fairness I'd include myself in that definition.
Anyhow, I hope all the single people have a relaxing and enjoyable christmas 🙂