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Come on - which one of you is it?
Men have no interest in pandering to women because most of them think they should be accepted just as they are.
Women feel they need to improve themselves, market themselves, lose weight, put on makeup, remove every hair from eyebrows down because they feel like they aren't enough.
Most men just go tada, here I am, fat, useless, ugly, sweaty, self obsessed, bike obsessed or whatever they are and some poor deluded woman will take them on anyway.
🙂
and some poor deluded woman will take them on anyway.
Please god, nobody show this to my wife
My wife pointed this out to me. On our first date IIRC I talked (when about me) exclusively about bikes. I don't recall talking on any other topic. To my mind that was a fair assessment for what she was in for.
As for this bit:
Most men just go tada, here I am, fat, useless, ugly, sweaty, self obsessed, bike obsessed or whatever they are and some poor deluded woman will take them on anyway.
It's better than trowelling on a thick paste of make up and pretending to be something you're not.
Too late, been married 25 years. MrsF knows what to expect.
These will be the same people who think that 6 photos of them pouting into a mirror in the exact same pose in every shot, is attractive.
a couple of 'normal' pics (no selfies, please!) and the rest pics of them doing 'stuff' - walking/cycling/up a mountain/on holiday etc to show they actually have a life outside instagram/netflix/their front room.
Got to love that there is a whole AIBU forum
Got to love that there is a whole AIBU forum
Surely that could be answered in one post.
"Yes."
To be fair the men could add a few lines of bio. Maybe:
"Mum just died?
Bike ride..."
Wow - are these actually people or bot generated comments for entertainment. Funny how only one of them said maybe the guy posing in cycling gear may simply want a lady to go cycling with 😂
Other thing I’ve observed watching friends is the number of women wanting a ripped man but not happy with the time spent in gym required to make it happen haha.
As a single cycling man in his mid 40s I have to say no, I know almost nothing about women. Think I'll stick to cycling after this.
Mumsnet is scary. I was curious as to what would be in a "sex" thread. Oh my god, I'm pretty sure that young drunk rugby players would be embarrassed to say publicly what some of those posts are saying.
Most men just go tada, here I am, fat, useless, ugly, sweaty, self obsessed, bike obsessed or whatever they are and some poor deluded woman will take them on anyway.
Yeah that’s bollocks.
Actually some fairly balanced views, was quite surprised. Have to admit I’ve been cycling and playing sport before I let the Mrs, almost 20 years ago, even now she still thinks it’s a boys hobby and I spend far too much time looking at, reading about and riding bikes. I’d imagine it would be a bit weird for a new partner to understand how much time we spend on our hobby.
If I may comment as a woman: if I was single I would be positively encouraged by a photo of a man riding a bike. Particularly if it was a mountain bike 😄
Most men just go tada, here I am..
I think it's pretty spot on from what women have told me.
couple of first date examples I've been told about:
"I tried to find a pub with a quiet corner in case we wanted to kiss and cuddle"
"What do you want to drink? A beer!? No way, I'll get you a spritzer"
Many more, but I try to erase them from memory as they're clearly not the same species as me.
To be fair the men could add a few lines of bio. Maybe:
“Mum just died?
Bike ride…”
Admittedly not right away, but within a short space of time, yes I was out for a spin. And if I'm being provocatively honest, same after dad died. Both had a long decline over several months.
These will be the same people who think that 6 photos of them pouting into a mirror in the exact same pose in every shot, is attractive.
Would that be the supposed 'slimming' pose that involves twisting one leg awkwardly in front of the other like you've been caught short after a night on the curry and ale, or you have a really itchy arsehole?
See also ripping your eyebrows out with tweezers and drawing them back on with a Sharpie.
Most men just go tada, here I am, fat, useless, ugly, sweaty, self obsessed, bike obsessed or whatever they are and some poor deluded woman will take them on anyway.
Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Any relationship that doesn't meet approximately halfway on issues of difference is likely to be a shit/unhealthy one.
Insecurity is often masked with faux confidence and/or aggression. People who spout stuff like this are best dealt with by a shrug and the words "OK, whatever". Then a sharp exit.
See also ripping your eyebrows out with tweezers and drawing them back on with a Sharpie.
Normally about 2" higher than they're supposed to be!
This one isn't me (haven't been on a date for over a year) but there is a thread on Mumsnet about a date I went on, written by my date! Found out when I came back from the gents and saw her typing on her phone. Made a joke about she was either texting her mates to get her out of there or to say she was fine, she showed me the screen and said "Nope, Mumsnet want to know if I've attracted a nutter!". I must have been ok as we had a few dates until she brought up the baby question. I don't want any so that was the end of that.
Never looked for the thread, best left alone for my sanity!!
“Nope, Mumsnet want to know if I’ve attracted a nutter!”
I would say that a person who is 'letting Mumsnet know' about a date, during said date is throwing stones in a glasshouse when it comes to nutterdom.
But, to be honest, it wasn't my date, so it's none of my ****ing business anyway.🙂
I think it's partly to give the impression of being non lazy/active etc, and possibly also to deter overweight women.
Made me laugh...
My other half (who I met on Tinder, with at least one shot of me with a bike, no lycra though) will "happily" listen to me yap on for 20 minute about a Zwift race. She is honestly superhuman! If I ask her a question about what I've just been yapping on about it turns out she was actually listening. Like I said, remarkable.
Me? I think she can actually see my eyes glaze over after about 5 minutes when she is telling me about Kelly falling out with Louise at work.
In my defence I think listening to someone talk about a Zwift race is absolutely riveting, riveting stuff... and I have evidence to support me.
There are loads of YT videos documenting a Zwift race, loads of them.
There isn't a single one recounting the events leading upto Kelly falling out with Louise.
Q.E.D.
On the flip side, why do women in their 40s think men want to see 6 photos of them with stupid filters to mask what they actually look like? Bunny ears are not cute, they are hiding mental instability.
If I may comment as a woman: if I was single I would be positively encouraged by a photo of a man riding a bike. Particularly if it was a mountain bike
To be fair though you're our type of wierdo Vicky!
Thanks Sandwich, I take that as a compliment 😄
dannyh - I thought it was a red flag too but it was just she had loads of friends on there. She was actually very normal, just had two kids when she was very young and that had scared off potential mates for years. Now they are grown up and flown the nest I thought she'd be fine with no more kids but she wants one with whoever she settles down with to call their own. I don't so that was the end of it. Still see her around occasionally and she's got a bloke with one on the way!
Been separated just over two years, I can't see myself ever wanting to date, this thread has confirmed it's the right choice for me.
Quite frankly it's all terrifying.
I thought it was a red flag too
I was only pulling your leg.
To be honest, I thought the fact that she was up front enough with you just to show you her phone and what she was doing was pretty good.
Apparently we have quite the reputation according to my missus.
Complainant: "My husband has a hobby, he gets up and goes out at 8 in the morning, back at ten, has a shower etc.... ...can't tell you the hobby because it's outing."
Rest of Mumsnet: "It's cycling."
I have a (single) female friend who is a hard-core mountain biker and skier.
If a guy doesn't have copious amounts of photos of him riding and/or skiing on his profile, it's an immediate left swipe...
Thank God we live in a world where people have different interests as it would be very boring if we all liked the same thing!
If I may comment as a woman: if I was single I would be positively encouraged by a photo of a man riding a bike. Particularly if it was a mountain bike 😄
👍👍👍👍
I was getting excited everyone on mumsnet wanted to try OLD until I realised it meant on line dating. I predate on line dating. I feel so old.
I'm just thankful and happy that (for pretty much twenty years now) Zoe accepts me as I am, and will tell me to get the funk out of the house and go for a ride if I've been indoors too long and am getting a bit grouchy.
The thought of dating makes (and always has made) me feel a bit queasy...
It’s better than trowelling on a thick paste of make up and pretending to be something you’re not.
Nailed it.
The OP on Mumsnet seems very bitter about life. Funnily enough, someone who is bitter about life isn't going to bag the cream of their crop when it comes to dating. No wonder she feels negatively about it men, I'd run for the hills myself!
I don't thinks she's made the connection.
It's like when people see that perennial stat "married people are happier" and think how unfair it is that some lucky people find the perfect match to make their life complete.
In fact it is should be interpreted as "happier people more likely to find someone who will marry them".
Mumsnet! Chortle.
(the above goes for men also, but they post this stuff on PUA and Reddit forums)
As a singleish 33 year old, biking phitos have worked for me. Currently dating a gorgeous mtber, who gets my obaesaion. Although she was taking the piss out of my photos, as they all feature me cycling in some form. She then crashed as she was lauging at me instead of concentrating.
She had 3 biking pics, and 2 'nice' photos.
Ive realised lifes too short to date someone who wants you to change for them. Id rather be single.
I just made a point of wearing my Howies ‘Love me, Love my bike’ tee shirt a lot during our earlyish time together.
Any complaints, I refer her back to the photos 😝