[Closed] Daily Mail poem?

It's a list of things that rhyme with Mail, I suppose.

The very last verse on it's own is like a little John Hegley ditty. Should've stuck with that and dumped the rest of it 🙂

I quite like it but I would have preferred John Cooper Clarke's version - "the *ing Daily *ing Mail".

The elderly Tunbridgians' holy grail,

Paul Dacres' frothing brainstem fail,

A rotten tub of dead entrail,

Your morning dump, The Daily Mail.

I long for the good old days of zero immigration and proper scansion in rhyming couplets.

I would not take it off the shelf
As I still have my mental health.
I would not put it in my bin
For fear a tramp might peer within.
I would not wipe my bum with it:
It is already full of shit.
A catalogue of bigotry,
The Daily Mail is not for me.

👍🤩

That's more like it, Bez.

There once was a paper, the Mail,
For the truth, it showed a betrayal.
Its poisonous words,
and opinions like turds,
caused readers' humanity to fail.

The Daily Mail's words
Like poison dripping on eyes
A blight on the world

Red topped, bile filled rag
Fascist lies and cancer scares
Overflowing hate

Hearts like Winter ice

Bitter minds moulded by hate

Mourn a long dead dream

This always makes me laugh. 

I board the seven twenty-eight;
A double seat! (I celebrate.)
But when we stop at Daventry
A gentleman sits next to me.
He stuffs his bag between his knees
And pulls out something he will read.
My fears confirmed, it is the paper
Edited by one Paul Dacre.
And so my eye’s periphery
Is drawn to rancid bigotry;
Yet, worse than that—to be quite blunt—
I’m stuck next to an utter

@Bez - genuine LOL

Where is poemtrackworld when such a clarion call has been made? My ode-ometer is reaching the red line.

A daily dose of bigotry

Fake news and lies in every headline

Lies and distortion, just make the deadline

Judges Enemies of the People

The Mail is not for me.

Not a poetic reply, but having had to pick up a copy for the MIL I did get the irony of their 8-pages of faux-disgust in today's edition about Max Mosley's perjury / racist campaigning with his father, Oswald Mosley who was supported by none other Viscount Rothermere, great grandfather of the current proprietors. Pot calling kettle etc.

"Had to?" I'd have told the MIL to do one.