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Ongoing issues with one of our girls regarding school and generally getting ready in a morning (I have posted around this subject before). We seem to have negotiated the issues with clothes 'not being right' etc but now we are getting increasingly vocal expressions about how much she doesn't want to go to school - it's boring, she doesn't want to be there, she doesn't want to learn etc etc.
I really don't want to take the approach of saying 'tough, you have to go' but we have exhausted all avenues (that we can think of) around talking to her about why she doesn't like it.
Has anyone had similar and could suggest ways of talking to her / getting her to enjoy (or at least accept) school more? I hate having a sad kid every morning 🙁
PS - her twin never says anything and seems to enjoy school.
I'd ask her teacher / form tutor for a meeting, just to check there's nothing wrong at school - but assuming there isn't, and she's doing fine... "tough, you have to go".
FWIW, when I was small I was told most mornings "Tough, you have to go" (And I don't think it did me any harm).
[quote=johndoh ]
I really don't want to take the approach of saying 'tough, you have to go'
Why not? It is the truth after all.
Makes staying at home a worse option. i.e. if she stays at home you'll make her do even more work than she would have to do at school and you'll give her lots of chores to do too. She'll soon go to school.
We get this as well - I assume its because they have such a happy home life...
I always try and point out the benefits e.g. playing with friends, learning interesting things, rewarding them when they do well etc. Wife just goes with "no-one likes it you just have to go".
Yeah we do try to focus on positives, tell her about the fun she'll be having doing things like drawing and making stuff but she just comes back with 'it's boring' (even though she loves that sort of stuff really). When she gets home on a night she always seems to have enjoyed it though, perhaps she's just not very good at mornings?
Her teacher seems to think she is happy (although she is *very* inexperienced - this is her first full time teaching job so she probably won't know too much about how kids are coping just yet).
Went through this with my son. In the end I just explained to him that it's the law and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do but it's part of growing up, so he needs to stop whining and get on with it.
She's not being bullied is she? Can sometimes result in the behaviour you're seeing.
She hasn't indicated that she is being bullied, they seem to have a good set of friends (the more 'challenging' kids from their reception year were put in another class with a really experienced teacher) and I am sure that (even if she didn't say anything) that her twin would have done by now.
tell her, you and mum will have to go to jail if she doesn't go to school... That works on most kids 😉 Well until they're teenagers then it'll probably encourage them to skip school...
It's a curious one when kids use the "it's Boring" answer, when it's clearly not. In the end I resorted to refusing to accept "it's boring" as an appropriate answer, forcing them to think about it and come up with real reasons, which were then debunked, please tell me your logic is better than hers...
As a rule I wouldn't tackle this at the time they choose i.e. just before leaving for school so do it after dinner tonight when the prospect of going to school is about 1 million miles away in their timeframe - oh and don't forget sometimes kids just like to wind you up! But do follow up with the school just in case.
@nemesis 😆
Is she very bright?
Some of the most intelligent children I encountered during my education were unhappy/reluctant when bored and not stretched.
Alternatively/as well and very left field but may be worth asking them to test for dyslexia. My eldest was tested routinely (currently in y1 but done in reception) because of my sister's dyslexia and dyspraxia. If that sort of thing is undiagnosed it may be ruining her enjoyment or making her anxious.
Edit...Sorry that possibly sounds a little extreme and almost certainly of no use.
I am clutching at straws here in addition to the good advice of otheRs above based on my own personal experiences so if anyone more knowledgeable knows better feel free to squash my thoughts (but only those above) to pulp.
Garage dweller makes a couple of good points. Both ours are quite able but got bored and disinterested when not challenged enough.
A friends son was not diagnosed as dyslexic until year 2 as the school just didn't bother testing till that point. Once diagnosed and support in place he is a whole lot better (and his parents were by no means disinterested in his school work but he was coping in his own way enough for them not to notice he was slipping behind.