Dad advice... Daugh...
 

[Closed] Dad advice... Daughters first kiss.

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Daughter had her first kiss with her boyfriend last week at 12 1/2 years old. When she told me i was calm and collected and didn't freak out as i want her to talk to me openly. I just smiled and the conversation then moved along.

But inside i am having a minor meltdown!!

Dads - How old were your sons / daughters when this happened? Is this standard now?

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:07 pm
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These days amongst teens/ preteens snogging is 2nd base. First base is sending images to each other of your bits.

Hope that helps.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:11 pm
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Massively, thanks

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:11 pm
 IHN
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How old were you the first time you kissed a girl? I was probably about 12 1/2 years old.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:12 pm
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How old were you the first time you kissed a girl? I was probably about 12 1/2 years old.

Properly kissed, probably 19...

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:15 pm
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I was probably about 12 when I first kissed a girl; I'll be 48 in a few weeks.

I imagine context has a lot to do with how far people go how quickly. I mean, young people I encounter don't seem to be nearly as interested in the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing as I remember being, and I don't see many having a snog in public.

I assumed it was a cultural thing, but make of that what you will.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:17 pm
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I was 15 or 16. But i remember i was a bit late compared to others in my year.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:17 pm
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Mines got a boyfriend already and shes 4 1/2.

I turned up at the school gates with a spade the next day to bury the kid and realised it wasnt as bad as expected.

im genuinely scared.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:19 pm
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I'm sure she'll be thrilled that you're telling the internet about it.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:19 pm
 Drac
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12 wasn’t unusual when I was a kid. I’ve 2 daughters and none have had a boyfriend yet and they’re older than 12.

I don’t think there’s a normal.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:20 pm
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I’m sure she’ll be thrilled that you’re telling the internet about it.

Surprise, blackflag isn't my real name.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:22 pm
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Just one word of advice, when she's older & you need to drown out certain noises coming from her bedroom, don't put "Clare" by Fairground Attraction almost any other tune on the hifi would have been fine but this at high volume is not the one to pick.. 😬

And over the rooftops when the stars prickle the skies
London is sleeping and the Mississippi moon shines
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:29 pm
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Surprise, blackflag isn’t my real name.

Well, I for one know what is.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:30 pm
 nbt
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I know Blackflag's real name. I also know where he works...

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:33 pm
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Well, I for one know what is.

Do you? Have we met? I only know two people on here. Or so i thought....

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:33 pm
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And NBT is one of them

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:34 pm
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Mines got a boyfriend already and shes 4 1/2

Mine too, she's 5.

I think it's sweet, he's a funny little lad. Their birthdays are quite close so I'm going to ask his Parents if they fancy a joint birthday party - because half the cost and work of that shitstorm will suit me!

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:36 pm
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Was about 17 for me (had a driving licence) and went from behind the game, to well infront in one evening..

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:36 pm
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Mine got off with some boy last Friday, mind you she'll be 16 in a couple of weeks. Past caring these days 😀

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:38 pm
 ajaj
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Well, I for one know what is.

If that's in the role of volunteer moderator then you really shouldn't, because that's quite naughty.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:40 pm
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Hm. That's a point actually, perhaps we shouldn't. I'll flag it up with Mark.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:43 pm
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I’ll flag it up with Mark.

You can't be bandying real names about like that willy-nilly.

Codenames only 😉

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:47 pm
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Surprise, blackflag isn’t my real name.

Is it minor threat?

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:52 pm
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I'll have you know that Willy Nilly is not my real name.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:52 pm
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I’ll have you know that Willy Nilly is not my real name.

I know. I know your real name.*

You also might have a sister named Teresa

*Am I in breach of GDPR or something?

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:56 pm
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Indeed.

You know my real first name, I think very few know my surname. I mean, it wouldn't take a vast amount of sleuthing to work it out, but I've never mentioned it on STW in case some disgruntled banee gets some funny ideas.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 4:59 pm
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mean, it wouldn’t take a vast amount of sleuthing to work it out,

It didn't.

I have detailed files.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:00 pm
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My eldest is 13 and is fully aware of my taste in Youtube (I actually got into the channel trying to see how on earth the UK managed to make such a mess of the SA80)
https://www.youtube.com/user/ForgottenWeapons

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:00 pm
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Binnerette number 1 came out when she was 14. We were ecstatic. One less thing to worry about 😀

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:04 pm
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stevie750. Correct. Although i prefer Mr Minor Threat these days due to advancing years and delusions of grandeur.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:05 pm
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My eldest came out when she was 14.

She's not.....Southern is she?

You must be devastated.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:05 pm
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She’s not…..Southern is she?

You must be devastated.

Worse. Vegetarian.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:07 pm
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perchypanther

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She’s not…..Southern is she?

You must be devastated.

Thanks Perchy that made me laugh on an otherwise dark day.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:10 pm
 IHN
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I’ll have you know that Willy Nilly is not my real name.

Just the name of your unsurprisingly unsuccessful Grindr profile?

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:21 pm
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judging by TikTok content most 12 year old girls are doing much more than kissing!

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:29 pm
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Dads – How old were your sons / daughters when this happened? Is this standard now?

Don't know about you folks but I had my first kiss at 17 (a car license helps). She was a bit liberal as she spent most of her younger years overseas. Just kiss and no touching of "assets" was permitted. Then she went away to Canada to study and we lost touch. Did not have another kiss until I was 21. Our local girls would only hold hands in private and stay at distance while in public. Definitely No public kissing regardless of age.

Over here I have seen kids kissing at 10 - 12 year old (definitely pre-teen) like an adult i.e. sucking the hell out of each other face 😬 The girls were already wearing make up 😮

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:32 pm
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judging by TikTok content most 12 year old girls are doing much more than kissing!

Why are you watching TikTok content of 12-year old girls?

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:32 pm
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I had a fantastic week away when I was 13, tried my first proper kiss with a 12 year old, then got shown properly by a 14 year old.

My lad had his first "more than friends" girlfriend at 14. I imagine there was snogging involved. For a lad who was very against any physical proximity with anyone, she was very actually good for him, and they are still good friends. 2 years on and he still has no idea why she dumped him apparently.

Daughter is 13 and not aware of any boyfriends or kissing as yet. But she is quite mature for her age and apparently the boys are not 😄

From what I see and hear, kids either don't get physical as quickly as maybe my generation did, or they go straight to it and shared it FaceTik or something. One extreme or the other.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:40 pm
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From what I see and hear, kids either don’t get physical as quickly as maybe my generation did, or they go straight to it and shared it FaceTik or something. One extreme or the other.

I was told by a potentially unreliable source that a popular form of contraception for teens these days is to use the tradesman's entrance.

You're welcome.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:49 pm
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Why are you watching TikTok content of 12-year old girls?

because both my 12 yr old daughters are on there and I want to know what they are watching/doing online....

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 5:59 pm
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Speaking of girls and TikTok. Are we being horrible parents by not allowing our 10 yr olds to use it? All their friends have it apparently.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 6:12 pm
 kilo
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I know little about TikTok , or kids, but my colleagues a few desks away who deal with proper horrible on line nonces seem to mention it frequently so I would suggest it’s not ideal for 10 year olds.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:01 pm
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Well, TikTok's terms of service state 12+. Though I don't think they do any policing to enforce it.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:09 pm
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You know my real first name, I think very few know my surname.

You posted a picture of yourself in the mugshots thread years ago, which is how we all know that your full name is Alan Rickman.

Cougar, in his Sunday best.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:13 pm
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Speaking of girls and TikTok. Are we being horrible parents by not allowing our 10 yr olds to use it? All their friends have it apparently.

I think you’ll find ‘all’ their friends is a bit misleading. This is the usuals kids hustle to get parents to recent. ‘All’ my 11 year olds (year 6) friends have phones, until you ask her to name them. I’m a horrible
parent because of this.

I haven’t been begged for TikTok yet so assume it’s not common on her class.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:19 pm
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You posted a picture of yourself in the mugshots thread years ago, which is how we all know that your full name is Alan Rickman.

Hah! You're the second person to say that to me today, only it was Hans Gruber (I had my hair chopped last week).

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:33 pm
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Speaking of girls and TikTok. Are we being horrible parents by not allowing our 10 yr olds to use it? All their friends have it apparently.

No.

TikTok is the Devil.

And yes, Teenagers of all genders (how woke am I!) make videos you’d expect to see advertising a Poll Dancing club. They like it because the videos disappear after a short while and by and large parents don’t use or understand it. I don’t know if there is a TikTok moderation team but if there is they're alseep the on the job.

Before anyone asks, I know because we monitor our teenagers phone from time to time.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:39 pm
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First proper kiss at 15.

Liberty is 7 and she has had the same boyfriend for the past 3 years so it must be serious lol. I have told her she's not allowed a boyfriend when she's older til she's 29 so we'll see how that works out.

You know my real first name, I think very few know my surname.

I think nearly everyone here knows my first and last name by now.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:47 pm
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You know my real first name, I think very few know my surname.

I always thought it was Hunter...

I've clearly done something wrong...as mine was growing up I'd mention that I was needing to put a rack at the front door so I could hang my axes and saws (for trailbuilding). I'd also mention that it would mean anyone coming to the door would see them all. I never got round to it though.

She then went in to nursery and told everyone that if they visited her house they have to go past a load of axes...

Even now - 7 years on - none of the boys in her class speak to me or come near to us (if I'm in the playground doing school drop-off - but they seem to chat to all the other parents!)...I'm putting it down as a win, but suspect it is all an act and there is plenty chat between all the boys and girls in her year...

I'm kind of hoping she'll tell me but I'm expecting not to know...she is sensible and we chat about everything so we'll see what happens. If she hasn't mentioned anything by the time she is 14 then I'll assume she has decided not to tell me!

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 7:51 pm
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https://www.gov.uk/shotgun-and-firearm-certificates

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 8:17 pm
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Speaking of girls and TikTok. Are we being horrible parents by not allowing our 10 yr olds to use it? All their friends have it apparently.

I'd never heard of it until this thread, and I've got a few kids around the target age.

If they ask, the answer will be no.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 8:34 pm
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Just checking, by Tik Tok I take it you’re all on about this fella?

He’s got form for hanging out with young girls. The fat, shiny bastard. Look at him, hiding in the bushes

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 8:55 pm
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zhdpBCCChMk

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 8:58 pm
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Back to the OP for a few words. I wouldn't worry, at least you have a good enough relationship that she told you = assuming it was a passing comment and not given under 3 hours of interrogation 😀

My motto with kids (both girls) was to let them know I will always be there for them no matter what and will not judge, then give them enough rope and be there to pick up the pieces.

Seems to have worked well although the 'dodgy burger' incident when I picked the eldest up at midnight from a strange warehouse of loud music was rather hilarious. She was 15 and clearly totally battered. Still had the thought to call me to get her though, which was nice.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 9:10 pm
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Pregnant next week.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 9:21 pm
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Don't ask me I do not know what normal is for a teenage girl. (Mine will be 30 the end of next month and no she was not a normal teenager).

OP you may need to run the Lock, Stock. . . scene in the plastic lined room and find some pigs. Apparently quicklime isn't where it's at these days.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 9:28 pm
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Mine is 7 and declared that she and a boy from her class were going to kiss in the playground after lunch but ended up finding something else to do. He's her boyfriend apparantly. What the hell else do you do but nod and smile? I think that was only a couple of weeks after telling us she was kissing one of the girls in her class.

Seems to have worked well although the ‘dodgy burger’ incident when I picked the eldest up at midnight from a strange warehouse of loud music was rather hilarious. She was 15 and clearly totally battered. Still had the thought to call me to get her though, which was nice.

I'd call that a win.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 11:08 pm
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TikTok et al are the devils work for kids...

simon sinek speaks wisdom

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 11:20 pm
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Posted : 24/02/2020 11:29 pm
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Is 12 about first year of high school? If so seems normal to me.

 
Posted : 24/02/2020 11:31 pm
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Hah! You’re the second person to say that to me today, only it was Hans Gruber (I had my hair chopped last week).

Shame, the longer hair is most dashing on you 🙁

 
Posted : 25/02/2020 12:00 am
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OP you may need to run the Lock, Stock. . . scene in the plastic lined room and find some pigs.

Snatch......

 
Posted : 25/02/2020 1:12 am
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Every father of a teenage girl has to deal with the fact that one day she will open her legs and fly away...

 
Posted : 25/02/2020 9:43 am
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Obviously I'm not a father so can't offer real advice but I once was the age of your daughter.

12.5 does seem young to me. At that age I absolutely loved, lived and breathed horses, so had no interest in boys.

You've done the correct thing in staying calm and not making a 'thing' of it.

It's such a shame that children of today are growing up too quickly, when they have decades ahead of them to be adult. Oh well.

Oh and I really do know who you are (wink).

bunnyhop x

 
Posted : 25/02/2020 10:23 am
 nbt
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Looks like you have it fairly easy Blackflag - one of the lads at work here is telling me about his 12 year old step daighter. Having come out as pansexual a few months ago (which on a positive note seemed to relieve much stress and tension), last night she started asking her mum about polyamorous relationships...

 
Posted : 27/02/2020 10:51 am