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I went out in the peak for a wander and we decided to have a Sunday roast. Very nice it was too. But the dessert - chocolate cheesecake with a rasberry sorbet - came on a slate. A sodding slate.
Of course, the first I knew of this was when the waitress, handing over said dessert, angled it in such a way that the frozen, but melting fruity side took advantage of the super-lubed, flat surface 'pon which it found itself to make a break for freedom and leap from plate into the lap of my as-yet-unaware-of-sugary-delights-in-the-vicinity son.
"O-oh" says he, sorbet melting into his freshly changed trousers.
"Oops" says the waitress, cruelly targeted by the evil slate.
Why do places insist on using a flat surface to serve food that is or could become liquid? What the hell is wrong with a plate??
On bringing a new scoop she said "is everything OK now?"
My two year old timed his "no, it's still on my foot" perfectly
I'd have hit the roof.
Slate them on TripAdvisor.
There's a Facebook page that would love to hear from you:
It's a bloody stupid affectation.
We went out for lunch last week and were served our food on some type of wooden paddle type thing. As the waitress placed them down, and turned to walk away, my mate Jan piped up 'Scuse me love - could you take all this lot away and bring us our food on proper plates please?'
She did. While sporting a face like a smacked arse.
Jay Rayner has had some epic rants on the subject
"Oops" says the waitress, cruelly targeted by the evil slate.
Yes, but did she have a [url= https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleavage_(geology)#Slaty_Cleavage ]slaty cleavage[/url]?
Local pub served chips in a bucket. Shame was, it was a tiny pretend bucket that only held about 8 chips, for about £3.50 or something. Luckily, I wasn't buying - as I said, I'd just had fish and chips and left over more than they were serving as a portion.
Another places I go to uses slates, but for something like a burger and pot of chips it works ok - almost more of a tray than a plate. Not that I'm a fan, but I haven't actually gone as far as complaining (the horror!).
I was served ham (which in fact was pork) egg and chips on a slate.
Result, one very eggy table.
@bearnezzezideez
Hey, geology isn't all just cleavage bedding and and thrusting, ya know!
(used under licence and courtesy of Keele geolsoc T-shirt c.1998 (Just to be clear I never owned one!))
Went to a young-ish celebrity (that boy-man that like to say "pakka" this "pakka" that trying to look hip) restaurant chain in the toon coz someone suggested it so went along with the idea.
Served some fancy chips on small bucket but they called them wedges or something like that ... they were so oily and burned that I was charged £3.50 for the privilege. I had a burger and yes, you guess it, it was shite. I can pay £5 with proper burger and chips at one of my local pub (they are good).
I would never eat there again and rather spent my hard earned money at my local fish and chips.
Served my friends from EU some pasta with missing ingredients. She knew it instantly so complaint and they gave her another but still got it wrong. In the end that did not charge her for her meal but the food was shite anyway ...
If you have not tried expensive shite food (any food that is shite is expensive) go there.
Even Sainsbury pulled pork and Tesco chips are 100% better ...
🙄
That makes as much sense as a relationship post from Hora.
That makes as much sense as a relationship post from Hora.
ya norra Geordie aya?
*translates*
Don't go to an eatery with any relationship to Jamie Oliver.
marra.
I'm away this weekend - lovely resort thing near Tenby - foods not bad either, but everything comes on a bloody plank! - my be had a burger, a streak and now a Thai curry all served on a bloody plank - my wife's got perfect maners and the hands of a surgeon (or rather one that fits female cathiters a lot) and she can't eat with out spilling some on the table - my food flys about the place like a pinball.
I once had about six chips served in a tiny miniature fryer basket. Amusing, but not enough chips. That wasn't a good meal for a variety of reasons.
Our local has the annoying habit of using flipping chopping boards instead of plates. Can't beat watching your sauce cascade over the edge.
I had sardines served in their tin recently, along with pate in a mini flower pot and chutney in a tiny wheelbarrow. Oh, and sauce in a little watering can.
Was in a hipster pub last Friday. First thing I thought was they'd serve food in hats. Not quite but their burgers came in fake mini wooden shipping crates lined with fake newspaper with headlines like "POW! Best Ever Burger Served". Grr.
I had a burger on a slate at The Red Lion in Alnmouth. I'll forgive them on this occasion cos the burger was MASSIVE & very very tasty. The chips however weren't as good as The Hope & Anchors over the road.
A plate for me though, every time.
New pub in York called sutlers has a ww2 theme. Apparently serves food in mess tins and 40s period plates etc. By all accounts its geared up for the tourist trade.
Good for a night on the tiles.
Ask for a plate.
this place
doesnt even bother with plates/slates/chopping boards just comes slopped on a tray...
[b]BUT BLOODY TASTY !!!!!![/b]
At least a tray has a lip
my mate Jan piped up 'Scuse me love - could you take all this lot away and bring us our food on proper plates please?'
Is there a course I need to go on to get upset about this sort of stuff? I feel unequipped for this sort of getting upset over the thing my food is served on
Reckon this could send a few over the edge, pulled pork in there too 😉
[url= https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7586/16844863276_8ccd379b34_z.jp g" target="_blank">https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7586/16844863276_8ccd379b34_z.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/rEwjZb ]Reward for the ride...[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikewsmith/ ]Mike Smith[/url], on Flickr
does anyone remember when pork wasn't pulled ????
my mate Jan piped up 'Scuse me love - could you take all this lot away and bring us our food on proper plates please?'Is there a course I need to go on to get upset about this sort of stuff? I feel unequipped for this sort of getting upset over the thing my food is served on
Well Jan has run pubs all her life. Good pubs, serving decent food, and in here words... 'serving food on wooden boards is disgusting and unhygienic. Just use some bloody plates FFS!'. You can argue with her if you like. I wouldn't personally.
Argue? I'd just have rolled my eyes and walked off.
Clearly you've not met many more mature pub landladies from Wythenshawe then? If you'd have rolled your eyes and walked off, I'd say there'd be a pretty good chance you'd be coming round, face-down, covered in food, and blood, with a wooden paddle/chopping board shaped indentation in the back of your head
Personally, I quite like the variety of not having food always served on a plate.
serving food on wooden boards is [s]disgusting and[/s] unhygienic
Only it's not, wood is actually very good at not holding bacteria.
http://faculty.vetmed.ucdavis.edu/faculty/docliver/Research/cuttingboard.htm
What a charming lady binners 🙂
Anyway everyone else will have had a great time delicately moving your food onto a plate almost certainly without using a penis...
I went to a pub/restaurant on Sat where lots of people on tripadvisor rate it as 'fantastic'!
Have these people eated outside of Manchester in their lives or is everything posh when its almost £5 for a 330ml bottle of beer?
I've noticed that in general - EVERY non-ethnic restaurant in Manchester is basically pub food with the prices hiked up to make it look posh.
porlus - Member
New pub in York called sutlers has a ww2 theme. Apparently serves food in mess tins and 40s period plates etc. By all accounts its geared up for the tourist trade.
Been there. Wouldn't recommend the food- I left wondering what I had paid extra for. I've spoken to staff who claimed that they have a high price point to attract a classier type of customer. Sutlers- fine for a drink, but there is better food almost anywhere else in town.
I've spoken to staff who claimed that they have a high price point to attract a classier type of customer.
It is important to keep the rabble out!
The Ubiquitous Chip in Glasgow's West end (which incidentally is a great venue with great food and freindly staff... and a massive selection of single malts) serves food on slates and they're not even real ones! In fact they are faux-slate floor tiles AND even worse... they appear to be left over from when they tiled the gents. Messed with my head that did...
My big sister told me she went to a s****Y restaurant/bar in London once, where the table cloth had pictures of plates on it, and food was served directly onto the table cloth.
She also went to a restaurant where all food was served on cracked, chipped, plates on purpose.
This is how to serve food.
[img] http://i.****/i/pix/2013/02/18/article-2280447-125FB183000005DC-999_634x437.jp g" target="_blank">http://i.****/i/pix/2013/02/18/article-2280447-125FB183000005DC-999_634x437.jp g"/> &sa=X&ved=0CAkQ8wdqFQoTCPLarOrEkcYCFQs9FAod4ZAAmQ&usg=AFQjCNG3SQQ9-fKyTs08ybOmeLjFH4vg0w[/img]
@Pook one of my pet hates, slate is however preferable to wood which must be one of the most unhealthy fads ever to hit the restaurant business. I've asked in a couple of places that my food is served on a plate or also what can I order that comes on a plate. I've eaten from banana leaves more than a few times in Asia but those are clean and thrown away afterwards.
I ate at a place in Sundsvall in Sweden where the food came on a strange square platter. Closer inspection reveealed it to be a bathroom floor tile. The waitress confirmed this, with an equally bemused air.
Hate it, but always just beared it. Until I was served a burger with peas on a piece of drift wood FFS. It wasn't even flat.
These days I don't even attempt to eat it, just send it straight back to be transfered to a plate.
does anyone remember when pork wasn't pulled ????
I think chewkie's always pulled his pork
You're all eating burgers and chips FFS.
I could understand the middle aged indignation if you were eating more than just fast food indoors, but you're not.
Quit moaning. Especially anyone who has willfully gone into a hipster joint and then felt indignant that they don't bring out your mum's best porcelain (though maybe that's an as yet unexplored angle).
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Thats the problem though. Its spreading like a rash. If you were in some Hipster Pop-up abomination in the Northern quarter, being served overpriced tat by people with full-sleave tattoos and facial hair, then you'd expect it.
But this has now infected society to such a degree that they now do it down your local boozer.
I'll predict that within a couple of years it'll be viewed in the same way as chicken in a basket, in that it will single-handedly personify everything that is just utterly naff about a certain period of time. In fact I think we probably got there a while back, when we hit Peak Beard.
Just **** off, and get me a plate!
[quote=stinkingdylan said] Until I was served a burger with peas on a piece of drift wood FFS.
Did the waiter look anything like this ?
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[/img]
Had this in a trendy bistro we visited recently. Very nice lamb cutlet with new potatoes and 'heritage' veg accompanied with a generous jug of gravy (or 'jew' as the staff described it), all artfully arranged on a slab of cold stone.
Managed to persuade the 12 year old waitress to put it on a proper plate, which was a shame really as my next step was going to be to pour the full jug of gravy over it and watch it spread across the table and drip onto the floor 🙂
Just **** off, and get me a plate!
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BigButSlimmerBloke - Member
does anyone remember when pork wasn't pulled ????
I think chewkie's always pulled his pork
Well it's written on the package as pulled pork so I guess I just have to stick to the term. Why the term is so trendy now I don't know.
I don't always pulled my pork but it can be a pleasure to pull it though ... 😆
OP for abit of balance. Recently I was in Reiss and a dad pushing his baby around in its pushchair dropped its dummy on the floor so I went over, bent down infront of him to pick it up and coincidentally had a whole metal racking fall over and land on my head. The Dad flipped with the staff in there saying why wasn't the racking safe/why was it overloaded and if it wasn't for me the lot would have landed on his son instead. I was dazed and kept holding my head but didn't complain or ask for any sort of compensation.
Have you engaged a law firm yet for your dribble of ice cream? 😉
Where do STW stand on massive plates with writing and pictures around your very carefully arranged food?
slates are bad enough as is, but when food comes on them after a week of re-slating a massive barn it really takes the biscuit.
would've complained but it was a first date and i like to keep the true extent of my obnoxiousness hidden until the third or fourth
a whole metal racking fall over and land on my head
there's a few things that might explain 😉
Been there. Wouldn't recommend the food- I left wondering what I had paid extra for. I've spoken to staff who claimed that they have a high price point to attract a classier type of customer. Sutlers- fine for a drink, but there is better food almost anywhere else in town.
Cheers for that. Another person added to the list of ones not to recommend it for food. Showed my lass a photo of one of their puddings and she said the metal tin gave her the heebie jeebies 😆
Another one for the list (might be in a minority here though)
Brioche buns for burgers. Way way too soft and the slightest bit of moisture makes them fall apart in your hand. Give me a chunky bap any day.
with a generous jug of gravy (or 'jew' as the staff described it)
I wonder if they said 'jus'?
There's a FB page for you
/p>
Some real horrors on there.
Puddings should be served in a bowl with ice cream, cream or custard, not on a silly piece of wood, metal, slate or in a shoe.
Barmy.
jambalaya - Member
@Pook one of my pet hates, [b]slate is however preferable to wood which must be one of the most unhealthy fads ever to hit the restaurant business[/b]. I've asked in a couple of places that my food is served on a plate or also what can I order that comes on a plate. I've eaten from banana leaves more than a few times in Asia but those are clean and thrown away afterwards.
So the use of wooden serving implements and bowls and plates for centuries has been just a fad, then? You're familiar with the term 'trencherman'? Describes someone who [i]really[/i] appreciatiates his food, taken from 'trencher':
A trencher (from Old French tranchier; "to cut") is a type of tableware, commonly used in medieval cuisine. A trencher was originally a flat round of bread used as a plate, upon which the food could be placed before being eaten.[1] At the end of the meal, the trencher could be eaten with sauce, but was more frequently given as alms to the poor. Later the trencher evolved into a small plate of metal or wood.
I've eaten twice at Oslo, the music venue/bar/restaurant in Hackney, and my burger was served on a slab of wood, at least an inch thick, just a slice cut through a branch and sanded smooth. Once it's been oiled properly, it's perfectly good for eating from, no different to using a slab of wood as a chopping board, like the piece of beech I have, an inch and a half thick a foot across and eighteen inches long, been using it for years. No more or less hygienic than the slab I was eating from at Oslo.
The chips came in a bucket, but they were as good a helping as I'd have had on a plate.
An order of soup might have presented a problem, mind... 😉
Given that, it's absolutely amazing anyone bothered to manufacture ceramics at all. You must laugh heartily at us idiots as you lick soup off your cricket bat 😀
I'm used to being served on a myriad of implements, thankfully Londons returning back to plates... You lot have still got another 2 years of eating off window sills and rubber mats and the like until your regional trend fades, by which time we'll all be eating off our fellow diners bare backs or something equally stupid.
When I'm home in Hampshire only one place I know of went for serving on abstract timber, lasted about 2 months before most folk boycotted the place.
Its really a distraction method imposed when the foods a bit crap.
Try somewhere else I say.