..was *considerably* more widespread after...
John
something about the world's stickiest bogie, Toxteth O'Grady?
People sacked off Jethro Tull's seed drill and started broadcast seed sowing again?
Norfolk?
Turnip Townsend was a bastard.
The plague.
Have we got a video?
....they discovered crop rotation.
Strange things keep happening in this house. Furniture keeps disappearing. Plates keep, like, moving about the place. The table is shrinking. And last night right... I found my guitar (dramatic pause)...on the fire!
Do you know what all this means?
I knew it, I bloody knew it!
Vegetable rights and peace!
(or was it, peas?)
Is that Bambi, did you do a Disney nasty?
An F2 tornado hit Saxmundham?
Darling f@scist bully boy...
I particularly enjoyed spotting the subliminal cuts they sneaked in there. Would never have spotted them first around being primary school aged.
Strange things keep happening in this house. Furniture keeps disappearing. Plates keep, like, moving about the place. The table is shrinking. And last night right… I found my guitar (dramatic pause)…on the fire!
Do you know what all this means?
I was listening to a bit on the radio the other day, Kieth Moon talking to John Peel in 1974 about confronting the rest of the band when they got in another drummer for an album. They had to explain to him that in fact the drummer they'd used was Keith Moon.
Travel Scrabble anyone?
It was after someone invented their patentened crop rotator
Anyway I start all letters
"Darling Fascist Bullyboy"
A poltergoost?
Do not lean out of the window. I wonder why?
Bored
That'll be Toxteth again...
Boomshanka
Cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
I've got a Porsche! Daddy sends hugs.
Don’t look at me, I’m irrelevant
I’m going to have to rewatch them now.
Whistlin' on a Tuesday, Jester!
OOh you Barstard!
What's a ftoumch?
Hands up, who likes me
Don’t flush, it’s only Neil.
Your mum.
Strange things keep happening in this house. Furniture keeps disappearing. Plates keep, like, moving about the place. The table is shrinking. And last night right… I found my guitar (dramatic pause)…on the fire!
Do you know what all this means?
Sorry Jekyll, just got this. 😁
(p)rick
I am an elephant you know! 🤣
SMYTHE: [pretends to enter, but he's already in] Yes, sir!
BILLY: There you are! Take this man out and flog him.
SMYTHE: Very good, Captain.
[Leaves the room. He cracks a whip, screaming as if he were really getting flogged. Goes back in.]
BILLY: Well?
SMYTHE: I flogged him, sir.
BILLY: How much did you get? [Both laugh]
SMYTHE: He'll rue the day he ever came to see you, sir.
BILLY: See?! See what?! Huh? Was he blind?!
SMYTHE: No, Captain, I meant to say.
PARROT: [in corner] He don't see nothing, you fat old cyclops!
BILLY: Who said that?
SMYTHE: That wasn't me. That was your parrot.
BILLY: Parrot? I don't have a parrot! Why, I hate the creatures! Horrible, small, flying things, hopping around, breeding and eating carrots!
Taken from the pirate cyclops sketch in the episode 'TIME'
Fascist pig: And watch out for the special branch on the way out.
Neil: *hits head on branch* oww, I don't see what's so special about that.
Branch: I've got a degree in computer science.
Let me just place this éclair precariously on the edge....
Could I borrow a cup of sugar, please?
How are you keeping that flowerpot up?
With Christmas only four months away, imagine that this desktop is a crowded shopping street on a busy Saturday morning
And say, for instance, that this huge meringue filled with whipped cream is a young mother loaded down with her groceries.
And perhaps this enormous, soggy, overripe tomato is a tiny little girl - who doesn't realize what a dangerous place her exciting new world is.
And let's assume that this cling-film parcel of mashed banana and jam is a deaf senior citizen...Who's in a wheelchair...And is blind
And this cricket bat with a breeze block nailed to it is your car.
Now what happens if your car mounts the pavement?
Think once... think twice.... think don't drive your car on the pavement.
👍👍
We plant the seed.
Nature grows the seed.
We eat the seed!
Opens the door, looks in, shakes head sadly, quietly closes the door and tiptoes away.
Answer the phone Neil!
Three biscuits that named after fascist dictators:
Well, you've got your Bourbon, your Garibaldi and your Huntley and Palmers Trotsky assortment...
Huntley and Palmers Trotsky assortment
Nah, Peak Freans 😉
Never mind a priest. Call an ambulance.
I've just nailed my legs to the table.
Look out - Cliff!
You'd need to be absolutely clear on the difference between flageolet and flagellant, ale and ail, night and knight, pistule and pisstool, Castille and cast steel. Don't listen to Isabella about growing basil, you'd get a headache.
Oh, Felicity, Felicity
You fill me with electricity
But that does not mean you are shocking
Oh, no, you are nice
Like Sugar and Spice
Like a proper girly ought to be
(Even though I am sure you have radical views
On the subject of equal opportunities)
Your Second name is Kendall
Which if you jumble up all the letters
And take some away
And Add some others
Makes "I love you"
I adored you as the star of TV's "The Good Life"
And I'm not being sexist but I think you'd make a 'good wife'
How about it, Filly?
Oh la dee da look what I've found in my laundry bag... All of Felecity Kendall's underwear and it needs a really good wash...
Doggersea Bats' Home
Let me just place this éclair precariously on the edge….
Is it an éclair or a meringue?
You are all in this together - stay elite.
Oh Neil, Neil,
Orange Peel,
If only I could see you again.
Hello Rick.
Aaaaaa!
As on a summer hill
We're not into rape and pillage
We're into wholefood and Steve Hillage. 🙂
Mike do you think Ants go to discos?
Why's that one wearing a silver boobtube then?
That looks just like a Negative Reality Inversion to me.
"Rick, he threw us off the train because you said ASLEF was an anagram for "total and complete bastard.""
I've got a degree in Computer Science, that's what.
vanilla ice pick and mix
I'll die if I miss Scooby Doo.
If British Rail think I'm going to give them fifty pounds they can jolly well go out and become a prostitute. Which is what they virtually are anyway. Right commuters?
OLD WOMAN: Do you dig graves?
NEIL: Yeah they're alright.
OLD WOMAN: I'm so glad. I think they're wonderful!
Round about now, I like to have a Pot Noodle
Relax... Make stupid noises!
I'm sorry about that bang...I just fired a gun.
That's for the invasion of Abyssinia.
Messing with the big boys
See you Teddy Bear..
I think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster.
I think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster.
At the time, a friend's girlfriend made him one (it was really very good too). However it started to become a bit unstitched and he found that she'd stuffed it with pairs of her dirty knickers. In fairness she was ever-so slightly deranged.
I've just been round to my neighbours house to borrow a drill. But he wasn't in. So I broke in and ate his fish tank... you won't catch me with me trousers.
Blind dogs for the Guides
Things were certainly different before these new fangled changes
...all of Felicity Kendal's underwear that needs a good wash.
What are you doing, Neil? To make a meal, Neil? (it's surreal) From totalitarian vegetables. How much does it cost, Neil...?
