[Closed] Criminal with a wood burner!

If you don't tell I won't...
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You could always burn the evidence... 😉

I believe the Highland sport 'tossing the caber' was originally for getting stolen firewood over deer fences

How much of a crim is he?

Well, none. He can't be blamed if some pikey starts throwing stolen goods over his fence...

😉

How much of a crim is he?

I believe he may be guilty of treeson.

Only if special branch get involved..

DrP

He could have just asked for a few quid the crew would probably chopped the timbers to suitable lengths for him and carried them to where ever he plans to store them while they season.

I think you will be Oak K.

This sort of behaviour goes against the grain...

These puns are terrible, I wish you lot would leaf it out.

The council are very good at getting to the root of things like this..

Is it rustling? Or were the leaves all gone?

I think I might be for the birch.

Touch wood he'll be ok.

I hope he's planked the wood somewhere it can't be found.

I hope the stolen [s]g[/s]woods dont get seize-oned

I think there's a criminal at larch

If the fuzz come knocking I'll tell them they're barking up the wrong tree.

I would bring back the birch for crimes like this.

Your gonna get the chop...

Right! That's quite enough acorny jokes.

As a ex council wood hacker, they will not care a hoot, as mentioned above if you had asked them nicely (tea and cakes) the chances are they would have chopped it into logs for you and placed it for you.

We used to fill a artic hopper with all our felled wood, our council used to sell it on for a £100 a load or give it away to local wood merchants!

Right! That's quite enough acorny jokes.

Quite right. The o.p is trying to sycamore sensible answer.

Well played Bregante 🙂

Well, if he shares it with his neighbours he'll be more poplar.

I assume the council were either going to sell the wood on to a merchant to season and then sell, or do it themselves. Do they have any natural fired boilers, etc., in the council's estates?

This sort of low level crime makes me sick. A more militant me might be tempted to report it.

How does real crime make you feel if this is enough to make you sick?

Take a deep breath.

Makes you [i]sick[/i]?...

Perspective dude.

Edit, too sloe!

Is there any resin the council might twig it was you? You'll be pine-ing for home after doing thyme.

If anyone does confront him just tell them they're barking up the wrong tree.

Hope your mate bought you a beer? I'm sure he Willow you at least that! Maybe more if Yew end up getting the Birch.

Puns aside it's theft just like picking up some bicycles would be. Yeah, its *possible* that you saved them disposing it themselves. You didn't want to ask though did you.

How does real crime make you feel if this is enough to make you sick?

Sick or more.

Sounds like you've gone out on a limb.

Now the trees have been cut, my mate has a clearview...

If they ask whose got the wood.....
Tell them "your wife after you leavt for work...."

OP is nothing but a tea leaf.

It's chestnut right.

He should be charged with Grand Larcheny

Why don't you ask the council if you can take some or even if they'll cellulose ones you've already thrown over?

I concur...

I conker..

for avoidance of doubt as some seem to be taking me seriously

This sort of low level crime makes me [u][b]sick. A more[/b][/u] militant me might be tempted to report it.

Fish for tea tonight, though..... 😉

I knew I should have asked my elders.

Careful, it may be a govt plant.

[b]I've[/b] spent half an hour stuffing wood over my mate's fence. Does anybody know the score here? [b]How much of a crim is he[/b]?

ISWYDT 😆

cant think of any more puns, im stump.

Did you ask = no

Therefore..... theft.

Therefore..... theft.

Theft requires some form of dishonesty, the OP and his friend took the wood in the honestly held belief that the council workers had finished their job and left, and the wood was neither wanted or needed, as such the wood was abandoned property and could not be stolen.

All proper tree is theft!

Ewe wouldn't believe the lengths some will go to for a bit of firewood!

Yew got the wrong pun.

We have just moved into a house with a wood burner but I am a little unclear as to why i need to put salt and pepper on the wood first?

Yew will be sapping resources

I'd delete the thread before the council twigs.

If it's not classed in law as a felling-ony, then at the very least yew are steam-bending the rules.

But if your back's against the walnut and you're found guilt-tree, then you must give the logs bark to their rightful owners.

Peak pun is surely reached. This thread needs pruning before it becomes an arbortrary free-fall.

If there are no photos it didn't happen.

I can't think of a pun to crown this thread with..

I don't cedar harm in it myself.

Seriously: if it's an Elm then it may be a criminal offence if it's in a Dutch elm disease control zone.

I'm sure someone could make an issue out of it, my Dad got arrested for fire wood theft off the council many a moon ago. OP will just have to hope that some petty council jobs-worth doesn't hear of this and see redwood.

The OP should just burn the evidence before he gets caught.

This post is bark-in mad,
Dumping log's in a mates garden... I hate it when cats do that in mine...
Did it spruce up his garden?

He spoke to the lumberjacks today, dude freaked out, my mate's gotta shift all the wood back. I'm busy this week so he's on his own, sucker.

He spoke to the lumberjacks today,

No he didn't.

This is the day they go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.

Hah that's what he gets for trying to be honest!

@perchy 😀

I bet he did that was part of his earnings.

perchypanther - Member
He spoke to the lumberjacks today,
No he didn't.

This is the day they go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.

They probably checked with their branch manager...

I can't seed point in this thread anymore..

Time to turn over a new leaf surely?