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I realise I'm a bit tense but I've just been told the father in law is coming over on tuesday to bring his only grandson and his daughter their xmas presents and its ****ing february. It makes my ****ing blood boil that he's such a useless tosser. My father died when I was young and my step dad a couple of years ago so he's my sons only grandpa. I'm under orders not to go out on my bike all day so will have to try and act like I dont want to strangle him. Any tips?
Don't strangle him.
If he buys you a power kite, email in profile.
REF: Xmas presents. I know and feel your pain.
I'd go out on the bike and to hell with the consequences. It will be shorter lived than spending time at Her Majestys Pleasure.
Could be worse. My tosser of a dad hasn't even met his grandchildren (they're 5 and 3). He lives in Cyprus-but refuses to come back to the UK. Although he came back last Year to buy a bike and f****d straight back off again. Dickhead.
My daughter hasn't had her Xmas present from my sister yet. She's an utterly useless sod who sits on her arse tweeting/instagramming all day but moans about how busy her life is.
Somehow we always manage to get our presents to her kids.
Be honest with him, tell him how you feel about him and his attitude.
Can’t see why the problem is TBH. Why ruin your life for someone who cares less than the sum of sod all about yours.
Not related but.. I had this out with my fIL last summer. I’d finally come round to tell him to keep his racialist bigoted little engerlund attitude to himself, because simply he’s a narrow minded MrMagoo.
We chat now better than we’ve ever done, he’s opened up more to me in this last year that previous 17.. he’s actually a very intelligent chap deep down, has many stories and anecdotes.
Hes still a racist bigot, but it’s less “in your face” now.
February is bit early for Christmas pressies, isn't it?
To make you feel better my sister has been married twice, she is still waiting for a wedding present from our mother for either wedding.......considering our father died over 30 years ago you can probably appreciate that hurts my sister a little........
"Be honest with him, tell him how you feel about him and his attitude."
Last time something like that was tried he was found wandering around beachyhead and was in hospital for a month.
"Why ruin your life for someone who cares less than the sum of sod all about yours."
Couldnt give a monkeys nuts what he thinks about me. I just find it sad that his grandson is so excited about his visit and he'll act like a doting grandpa for a couple of hours and then **** off not to be seen again for months. TBH if it wasnt for my sons benefit he wouldnt get in the door.
My dad would think nothing of hopping on a plane to Australia to see my sister and her kids and could seemingly make Liverpool or the Lake's to see my younger sister (no kids) but for some reason Sheffield to see my and my boy was always a logistical impossibility.
Errr, why are you making this all about you, and your feelings?
Your son sounds perfectly happy about the situation.
More importantly, since it's her dad, how does your wife feel?
"Errr, why are you making this all about you, and your feelings?"
Because he ****ing pisses me off and anyone who knows me knows I prefer to say how I feel and that is apparently not an option.
"More importantly, since it’s her dad, how does your wife feel?"
Much the same as me although with more sadness and less anger.
Christmas pressies In February 😳?
More than a little early I’d say. Lets hope it isn’t clothes or they will have grown out of them.
are people taking the piss as obvs its last years Xmas presents and he has not seen them this year
OP IMHO this is one of those situations where you just do as you are told
Its her dad, its her rules, look after her and let go of your own anger to support her - easier said than done and good luck
Be the bigger person, bite your tongue and make the best of it. It’s a shite situation, but your son (whom you love dearly) sounds like he will enjoy it.
when he grows up he will figure out for himself if someone else is a tosser. No point stressing yourself out about it.
"let go of your own anger"
I'm more sith than jedi!!!
"are people taking the piss"
Of course this is stw 😁
"I’d go out on the bike and to hell with the consequences."
Me to, life's to short to let people who can be avoided upset you.
P.s
As a nipper I'd have loved getting some extra Xmas presents in Febuary.
Did you invite him over at Christmas?
Its only February!
If a bit of criticism affected him that badly last time it sounds like he's got problems of his own, it's easy to get protective of your family tho- I know that.
"Did you invite him over at Christmas?"
Yep a week or so before, he was away over xmas.
Last time something like that was tried he was found wandering around beachyhead and was in hospital for a month.
Sounds like his mental health isn't the best, so perhaps just cut him some slack and let your son enjoy seeing him for a few hours.
If you wish for your kids to continue to have a relationship with him I'd be careful how you voice your frustration in front of them. My FiL can be difficult and our kids have definitely picked up on our discomfort when he's around and they have started to mirror this in front of him (he makes his own bed as far as I'm concerned but I'm now trying to allow my kids to make up their own minds, they're young, not stupid).
Sounds like his mental health isn’t the best, so perhaps just cut him some slack and let your son enjoy seeing him for a few hours.
+1
You might want to consider whether you're being a bit too judgemental OP.
Do you think he's looking forward to seeing you?
"Do you think he’s looking forward to seeing you?"
Couldnt give a ****, he was absent from his two daughters childhoods and only sees his grandson 3 or 4 times a year when it suits him. Dont even start me on his current wife!
I only gave my niece and nephew their presents about 2 weeks ago. My brother wasn’t angry and the kids were happy to recieve them.
Have to say I also agree with cranberry.
I reckon the best thing for you all is if you go for a ride for most of his visit. It’ll be good for your son to spend special time with his grandad. Your wife can have time with her dad. You all win.
FWIW I really dislike my fil ( the man is an ass), but my son adores him.I hide my disdain for the buffoon to keep the peace. Bigger battles etc.
Just go out on your bike when he's round and then in 50 days start asking about his visit.
“You might want to consider whether you’re being a bit too judgemental OP.“
🤣
It's one day, sounds like it doesn't happen too often. Forget about it and get on with life after he's gone.
No point getting angry. At least he's actually coming round and giving them pressies. Some don't bother at all.
My Dad hasn't come to where I live; ever. If I want to see him, I have to go to his, He's perfectly capable, just can't be arsed.
I realised this was how it was going to be when I was about 20, it sort of pissed me off for a bit, but then y'know I just stopped worrying about it. He's a nice enough bloke, we get on, I can't be angry about it all the time, 'cause it's not going to change his behaviour. I could make a fuss, stomp my feet, and he might come up here I suppose, but what purpose would that serve?
A_A There are no rules about how often he needs to come and see your kid. My Dad last saw his two over a year ago, they still have a good relationship with him. Being angry about how other people behave consistently is a one way route to misery
Seeing a grandparent 4 times a year seems perfectly normal to me, I doubt I saw my grandmothers more often than that.
Wow, there are some tosser relatives being posted about on here.
To the OP. Presumably you didn’t ride your bike on Xmas day as that was considered a ‘family day’.
The guy had his chance then, this really isn’t your problem.
"To the OP. Presumably you didn’t ride your bike on Xmas day as that was considered a ‘family day’."
I did actually with the Mrs for a couple of hours.
Whats his current wife like ?
"Whats his current wife like ?"
Hard to tell she doesnt talk to us.
The problem is we all underestimate how high on the arsehole scale we are.
"The problem is we all underestimate how high on the arsehole scale we are."
Pretty sure I'm fairly high, hence the pep talk needed to try and not be
Seeing a grandparent 4 times a year seems perfectly normal to me, I doubt I saw my grandmothers more often than that.
A good few years back, I was in the pub one evening and bumped into my dad who was with another bloke. I went to say hello, my dad says to me, "do you know who this is?" "No?" I replied. "It's your granddad." First and last time I ever saw him, I'd no idea he was still alive even. Seems the attitude to offspring spans multiple generations in the paternal side of my family.
That explains an awful lot