Cougar's English Fi...
 

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[Closed] Cougar's English Fictionary

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Eternity Property - marketing slogan of Yorkshire tea house.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 11:04 am
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Chronic.- Missing time.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 12:21 pm
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Alert - something your country needs.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 12:50 pm
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Student - the imprint on the bowl the morning after your mothers hotpot.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 12:53 pm
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Camera - a period of history where they couldn't quite make a circle.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 12:54 pm
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seatpost - armchair delivery service
dairy - a yorkshireman challenges his mate to ride that drop


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 12:56 pm
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Reverend.-A very speedy motorcycle courier.

Paradox.- Two boots.

Paradoxical.- Being kicked twice to the nuts.

Parabola.- Testes.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 1:11 pm
 csb
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Bedridden - conventional copulation


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 1:34 pm
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Boomerang : A missed call from someone in their 60s.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 1:42 pm
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Retard.- The toughest bloke in Newcassel.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 1:44 pm
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****ter - social media channel for foolish people


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 1:49 pm
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Ejaculate.- A Scotsman misses an appointment in Yorkshire.

Psychopath.- A segregated cycle lane.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 2:10 pm
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Bamboozle - A nozzle made from bamboo


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 4:15 pm
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Polish sausage - eastern european euphemism


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 4:59 pm
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Microwave - unspoken greeting between cyclists made without removing their hands from the handlebars. Also a greeting between car drivers; made without removing hands from the steering wheel.

Microwave - Middle English - a hesitant socially awkward greeting in public places where there is a risk of it going un acknowledged.

Not to be confused with:

Popty Ping - Welsh medical term for premature ejaculation.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 6:15 pm
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Rollercoaster - failed victorian invention for quickly moving drinks from one end of the table to the other.


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 6:30 pm
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Blowout : Yorkshire lady with questionable morals


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 10:04 pm
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Slippery - a bit like a slipper
Vanish - Quite like a van
Trolley - like a troll
.
Merseyside - killing of Scousers
.
Battery - where you put your bat when you go on holiday


 
Posted : 12/10/2019 10:43 pm
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The Endocrine System.- Ardrishaig.

Himmler.- A Man-Cave.

Palindrome.- The new T.V. series from the Monty Python star.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 12:19 am
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Organ Grinder.- A condom, stuffed with gravel.

Bio.- A Welsh lad.

Baby Bio.- A very young Welsh lad.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 12:41 am
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Pirate - the anger experienced by a pie connoisseur when confronted by a ‘lid’ casserole or other fake pie variant.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 8:57 am
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Innuendo- Italian suppository


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 9:00 am
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Spoilers - People who dig holes.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 9:00 am
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Illegal - sick raptor
Bingo - a windy day


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 9:13 am
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Eternity Property – marketing slogan of Yorkshire tea house.

Needs a bigger audience. 👍

Send that to Bettys in Harrogate...


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 9:49 am
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Flippant - a carefree gymnastic insect


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 10:24 am
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Anion - for uncreasing your clothes

Cation - what you use to smooth the creases out of your cat


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 10:36 am
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Ionising - happily doing the laundry


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 10:39 am
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Just found this thread. In my very hung over and sleep deprived state I didn't get the first line of the first post. When the penny eventually dropped I actually wet myself! 🙂


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 12:33 pm
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Extractor Fan : Someone who no longer likes tractors.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 12:38 pm
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On a similar note... http://liff.hivemind.net/


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 12:40 pm
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Trash - Yorkshire mans itchy red skin.
Bark - Noah's standby boat.
Contract - Grifters throat.
Radio - really cool input/output from the 80's


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 12:41 pm
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Alternative -To change a member of the indigenous population.
Indigenous - A species particularly fond of jangly guitars.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 12:58 pm
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Lampoon : Used to hunt whales in the dark.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 1:02 pm
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Millipede : The smell of the concourse at the old Wembley Stadium.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 1:12 pm
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Catastrophe. Prize for feline rear of the year.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 2:00 pm
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Communication. Holiday in a kibbutz


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 2:06 pm
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Catastrophe. Prize for feline rear of the year.

very good.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 5:01 pm
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Clarity. Looks or tastes a bit like red wine.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 5:05 pm
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very good.

It is - doubles as a tea towel holder.

But not, I repeat not, a pencil sharpener.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 5:06 pm
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Avoidable: A game played by matadors

Dilate: Live longer than anyone expects or wants  you to

Relief: the arrival of spring

Infantry: A sapling


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 5:51 pm
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Trumpet : Small French fart


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 5:52 pm
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Coronet: A mild heart attack


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 6:25 pm
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Saxophone: the built in phone in a small 1990s French car


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 6:27 pm
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Prognosis : Rick Wakeman's imaginary sibling


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 7:06 pm
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Drawers - a group of artists.

History - male biography.

Carpet - animal that lives in your vehicle.

Knickers - stealing your wife’s pants.

Armchair - sitting on your hands.

Buffer - polisher of female bodies.

Forest - sleeping under some trees.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 7:23 pm
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Diarrhoea- Chris’ Welsh cousin


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 7:44 pm
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Bark – Noah’s standby boat.

That properly gave me the giggles, well played.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 8:12 pm
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Orphan - iron aficionado


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 8:32 pm
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Hamster : A ladder for pigs


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 9:19 pm
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Mulhouse - a grouping of debating chambers.

Mulhouse - the hot wine shack in a Christmas market.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 10:36 pm
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Blend. Denouement of a circumcised penis.


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 10:39 pm
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Hamster - alternative - the haunted look of a vegetarian who's about to crack


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 10:41 pm
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Loophole - very long lavetory brush


 
Posted : 13/10/2019 11:40 pm
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Pianist.-Peirs Morgan.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 12:04 am
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Filigree.- a PhD.

Consomethinge.- cannibalism.

Penumbra.- A piano ensemble.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 1:33 am
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Diurnal.- A Welsh mans toilet.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 4:58 am
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Faculty - Cockney for "We've run out of PG tips"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ED48oc5W4AMImfK?format=jpg


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 5:19 am
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Ostracise - gauging the height of an Ostrich


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 6:11 am
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Donkey, Capon, Hatton - Old English - Nightly routine of a watchman before leaving the guard house on patrol


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 6:14 am
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At the risk of spoiling a good joke.

Cark - disputed third launch site.

Whilst scholars agree Noah was a great planner they can't agree if that extended to the need for a separate British vessel.

I'll leave the next link in the ark chain for someone else.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 7:00 am
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Sark : Ludicrously expensive 18th spare ark, that resulted in fraud charges being brought against Mr Noah and his wife’s brother Tim, who owned a timber yard.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 9:34 am
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Quality - marsupial brew
Sword - made it hurt
Exercise - get rid of former partner
Colonise - seeing out of your arse
Wilful - lengthy bequeathment


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 10:37 am
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Dark - the never discussed undersea ark that was rumoured built, but there is no record of it.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 2:03 pm
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blether - the hide of an insect


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 2:13 pm
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blether - a priest with a lisp


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 2:14 pm
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Mexican - largest of the metric can sizes, equivalent to 99% of the volume of the imperial Maxican


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 6:02 pm
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Ashleigh - the area upwind of an ash tree

Leeward - person charged with halting the decline of Lees on the British Isles

Leeway - a dedicated route for Lee(s). One of a number of management interventions being used to protect the Lee populations from further decline.

Not to be confused with:

The Leeway - practicing of a semi nomadic Scottish based adventurous bicycling lifestyle.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 6:10 pm
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Claustrophobia: The fear of seeing Father Christmas eating from an open rectangular container.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 6:22 pm
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Ashleigh – the area upwind downwind of an ash tree

I liked the logic, but not the detail!


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 6:29 pm
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Triphammer - the fall out of Thomas Cook

Contented - Edward the Happy Camper


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 7:11 pm
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I liked the logic, but not the detail!

The shame, neither do I.


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 7:30 pm
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Battalion - commit an act of antagonisation


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 7:34 pm
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Reposefulness - Well fitting undergarment (bra)


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 7:37 pm
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Nigel - unexpectedly watery sports nutrition product


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 7:38 pm
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Lark - the ark that never was. Started as a bit of a laugh and then forgotten about.

Gynaecologist - A man who is not against a college education.

Octagon - A missing Cephalopod


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 8:13 pm
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Battalion – commit an act of antagonisation

Also an ill advised game known by Savannah locals as catty slapping


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 8:23 pm
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Battalion - punch a massive angry cat


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 8:25 pm
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Park - a support barge carrying fertiliser for the return to land


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 8:25 pm
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Inspired bu Mr Sparkle.

Exorcise - Getting rid of fat


 
Posted : 14/10/2019 8:46 pm
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