You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
Best mate has just had a baby. All the cards congratulate parents on the arrival of their new baby. This is a bit standard.
What hilarious things could one write congratulating the baby on the receipt of their new parents?
"We trust that you find these two new servants acceptable..." etc
Various comments about full-board hotel accommodation for the next 18 years.
Give him a user guide/Halfords manual to parents.
Write detailed reviews of all the people that the mum and dad shagged before they got together so that the baby knows that they got the two best possible parents.
@thols2 - brilliant! Might need to be careful though. Emotional new mother and all that!
Hahaha @hols2 with a clear winning idea. ...but yeah, tread carefully. My sister gave birth at the end of December, normally that sort of thing is exactly her sense of humour....not so sure she'd find it that funny currently!
Write out Philip Larkins "This be the verse"
"Mummy and Daddy did the sex and look what happened"
Top 10 'hacks' to get the best out of their new hired help.
'If you need a new toy, wait and ask Daddy (never mummy - she's too tight) until West Ham have won or mummy's hair is very ruffled in the morning'
'Avoid mummy's cooking - it's rank. Don't give her any encouragement as she's not the smartest and you'll be stuck with it for 18 years. Projectile vomit EVERY time until she gives up.'
After several shots across the bow’s, curtains and duvet. Dad has finally managed to get one in the goal.
Congrats.