Here's the situation: in 1999 I moved 200 miles to live with a girl who had less than a year earlier bought a new 2 bed house house with her ex for £52K The ex was only in it a matter of months before they split.
We lived in there together up until I left her (and my child) in mid 2005. We got her ex off the mortgage for £5K of which I paid £4k towards it, I was by far the main provider for most of this period but the financial arrangements were that she paid the mortgage etc and I paid the monthly shopping etc etc and when i left there was substantial debt which was all in my name but I paid it off.
Between 2005 and 2009 I rented a house but put bluntly we were on/off, the relationship was a farce and we decided in Feb 2009 to make another go of it. We both had moved our careers on and were both earning decent money, the housing market in our area was crying out for quality 2 bed houses, we wanted a four bed detached and we ended up selling the 2 bed for £125K and buying a 4 Bed corner plot for £200K from a national house builder who had just re-opened a development. The equivalent houses now are selling easily for £250K. Due to me having credit problems in 2007 when my business went bust I was out of the criteria for mortgage so it went into her name.
I April 2011 I left her for the final time and then went back into rented. Crucially, between March 2009 and April 2011 I paid her £15,000 in payments in to her account marked 'housekeeping'.
I've had three jobs in last twelve months, struggling to get by, at present on unpaid leave until I start work on May 1st, don't have a pot to piss in and she's started to wind me up calling me a failure etc etc and I'm a shit dad because I can't feed my daughter at weekends (only temporarily). This last weekend I told her that she has to drop my daughter off with some money and food, she did. Tin of soup, packet of past n sauce and £4. For two nights!
She got made redundant in Dec and copped £35K in redundancy, walked straight in to another £45K a year job and wouldn't borrow me £200. I've always been the soft shit in this relationship but I'm now starting to query why i'm sitting her eating beans on toast whist she's sitting rather comfortably.
having a word with a few friends who know a little they feel I've got a claim to something to get me started in a new home. She made £80K on house number 1, and has £130K equity in house number 2.
Any ideas, comments or advice greatly appreciated.
If the mortgage is in her name you need to prove you contributed to the repayments for the house.
If you can't then it's a civil case and hope for the best - BUT - it can be very expensive to bring a claim against someone for this. If you've no proof you ever contributed to the mortgage then the likelihood of winning is slim.
If you're looking for a small amount (under 20k) I'd not bother as the costs could easily be this high.
Speak from experience. F-witted ex sued me for half the equity on MY house when I threw her out. I ended up settling as the amount she was after was about half what the potential costs would have been to defend the case. I reckon I'd probably have won - just wanted to get rid of her and not take the chance.
Go see a solicitor (but remember they'll be eager to earn money so may not advise you what is best for you.....).
Cheers DrRS****, when was this the case with you? I'm sure the laws recently changed in the favour of common laws for the exact reason you've given above. When we moved in a saw an email from her conveyancing solicitor warning her that me moving in could have a claim on her equity, I think she's just hoping I wouldn't.
There is no such thing as "common law" spouse it's an urban myth. No need to believe me, believe the Government:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/governmentcitizensandrights/yourrightsandresponsibilities/dg_10026937
Not a hope mate.
The courts will (quite rightly) see your child's welfare as the key factor.
If your daughter's primary residence is with her mother, you've got pretty much no chance of forcing her to sell the house just to give you a lump of the equity.
By all means see a solicitor, but don't set your expectations too high.
If you've contributed to your shared house, and can prove it, then you have what's called a Beneficial interest. I went through this some years ago - my ex moved out, leaving me to pay the mortgage and all bills, and then wanted half of everything a year later after the house had appreciated in value considerably, and I had spent a considerable sum improving it. A settlement was agreed after several exchanges of solicitors' letters, which was closer to what I thought fair.
Ultimately, you're not going to go to court, because the fees would swallow any monies you'd be due, but if you can scrape together enough for some legal advice, I would do so. It worked for me.
you've got pretty much no chance of forcing her to sell the house just to give you a lump of the equity.
That's not my intention, she has a very well paid job which more than adequately pays for her and my daughter (bearing in mind I pay maintenance and have her three days a week) to live in the house, still have two horses and a £25K convertible.
I'm after some of this lump sum she's got sitting in the bank. I'm never going to get enough to give me a deposit for a new place so enough to get me some furnishings and an emergency buffer for the future is all i'm looking for. £10K would be a reasonable and fair sum I feel.
not my area at all but you may well have an interest (stake ) in the house based on your contributions . Go and see a solicitor and think about registering a caution on the property . A caution is a note on the title register saying you claim an interest , she will not be able to sell or remortgage without removing this which will require legal action by her or your consent. this may incourage her to give you cash.
Why wasn't your name put on either mortgage?
This sounds horrible but that is quite sly of her.
In splits between unmatched couples, each takes away what they put in. So if you can prove you provided x% to the purchase of the property you are entitled to that % after the split. The name on the mortgage isnt really that relevant as long as there is some proof of contribution. It might cost a bit in legal fees if there is no amicable agreement though. Been there so this is my experience from a similar situation.
each takes away what they put in
Not when there's a child involved.
Been in a similar situation where house was in ex's name and I contributed in a similar manner. When we split up I was told no chance could I get anything because he had a kid and kid's primary residence was with her father, so no way could he be forced to sell the house to release equity for me. Though ransos also has a point, so it's worth taking some legal advice, as you may be entitled to something (though I doubt it would be half the equity).
She got made redundant in Dec and copped £35K in redundancy, walked straight in to another £45K a year job and wouldn't borrow me £200. I've always been the soft shit in this relationship but I'm now starting to query why i'm sitting her eating beans on toast whist she's sitting rather comfortably.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but you're her ex. She doesn't have to lend you anything. You're an adult, and you're responsible for yourself.
people have killed for less.
Just saying.....
(I condone this statement in now way).
IME bend over and butter up sweet cheeks.
Yes when there is a child involved. The maintenance gets sorted post distribution of the assets.
If your daughter's primary residence is with her mother, you've got pretty much no chance of forcing her to sell the house just to give you a lump of the equity.
Pretty much the same situation as I'm in now! However the house/mortgage is on joint names and as someone said above I've only got about 8k of interest in the property so is it really worth it? What's worth more to me is my name coming off the mortgage than 8k as at the minute I'm stuck in rented accommodation!
My sympathies are with you fella it is very frustrating!
Dryden79,
I have just read your post again, the bit about being a rubbish dad etc etc no money, no food it sounds a terrible situation!
My advice would be not to worry about getting money out of the ex, but to get yourself sorted out with a regular income so you can look after your daughter, feed, clothe and house her as she is the most important thing right now... Isn't she? I'm speaking from experience but this money that is owed to will consume you and take over your life so I would forget about it for the minute and just concentrate on looking after your daughter and getting yourself settled.
What would be easier is just to right it off, forget about it and move on! Sorry for being blunt but i have been where you are twice now and it does take over your life!
Good luck
The maintenance gets sorted post distribution of the assets.
Child maintenance is based on d79's income, as the child is resident with her mother.
It's just not worth pursuing through the courts. Even if you get the £10K you are after, your former partner would have an extremely good claim on that money to put towards the cost of a mortgage for a home for the child (even if it was as a 'loan' towards the mortgage until the child is 18) and you'd lose it again.
