[Closed] Comedy supermarket delivery substitutions

Ordered oranges, got orange scented mechanics hand wash. Tasted horrible.

What do you expect if you shop at ASDA? Most of their customers would probably value nicotine patches over personal hygiene.

Do they still charge you for the substituted items?

This sort of thing puts me off on line groceries.

Mate of mine ordered a load of cans of Pedigree Chum for his hounds. Delivery driver turned up with a load of substituted cans of... Whiskas.

Do they still charge you for the substituted items?

It's up to you. They say, "we were out of stock of X, would you like Y instead?" rather than turning up empty-handed.

Blimey, it took until post #3 for the first supermarket snob to pop up - I'm disappointed in you lot!

I like online shopping. Especially Tesco's.

With pretty much every other shop we do we get a whole bunch of short-dated products so I complain.

And every time I get the full purchase price refunded, get to keep the product and also get a £5 or even £10 voucher off my next shop.

I am actually disappointed when we don't get short-dated stuff 🙂

Tescos managed to lose an entire bag of our online shopping last summer. Unfortunately this was the shopping we had ordered to be delivered to the cottage we were staying in for our holiday.

We shall not be staying in Peebles again until Occado start delivering there!

They generally substitute and you have the option to reject the substitutes at the door step.

We had fresh new potatoes substituted with tinned potatoes.

I ordered a bottle of green food colouring and got instead a bottle each of yellow and blue--thought that was pretty resourceful 🙂
Online grocery shopping is brilliant

They generally substitute and you have the option to reject the substitutes at the door step, but whatever you opt to do turns out to be wrong when your wife gets home, despite your weekly suggestion that if she wants to be involved in that decision perhaps she would like to book a delivery slot for when she is at home as well or instead of me. But no, it's ****ing crystal ball time every Tuesday

LOL

Tesco's also once forgot a whole box of food, we were refunded then they brought it the next day (along with flowers for an apology) not once but twice! (We rejected the second lot).

🙂

have to say that Ocado really sets the standard for online supermarket shops - we've not had any substitutions in the 4 months we've been using them.

The price really is cheaper than Tesco and Sainsburys as well - I made sure by checking against a selection of complete orders to see which supermarket had the lowest cost for the entire week's shop.

when I had my leg in plaster I ordered from Asda. Pretty good, apart from the 4pack of Ruddles County - out of stock so rather than substituting with 4 cans of say Abbott Ale, they swapped it for 3 bottles of Ruddles County.
Fair enough, same beer, same price, but only 75% of it!

never used online supermarkets since my pot came off. But I have about 12 different supermarkets within 5 miles of where I live so I prefer to shop around.

Tesco have been pretty bloody good with us - I 'click and collect' rather than have it delivered though.

I was a bit miffed at the weekend, I order a bunch of 'eat me bananas' and a bunch of 'keep me bannans' a bloody great idea of theirs - but they were out of 'keep me' so gave me a double dose of 'eat me' and they've all gone brown now other than that they've been great.

Also, they're rather cheap they give you £15 off your first order, but there's no limit to the amount of accounts you can order, I asked them, and they'll give you £15 off every time - that's £780 a year I'm saving - I'm sure they it's against some rule or other - but I asked the guy who gave me my shopping and he says you can open new accounts if you want.

Fairly minor one but this week we ordered a red pepper and a yellow pepper.

They were out of yellow peppers so we got a red pepper and a subsititued bag of 3 peppers, one yellow, one red and one green.

Genius

We had fresh new potatoes substituted with tinned potatoes.

Had the same with rhubarb - tinned really isn't the same!

Nicotine patches instead of bog roll is definitely worse than any other I've seen.

Genius

I expect it's an automated system to a broad extent, if X then Y sort of thing. I doubt they've employed someone at each depot as Holistic Grocery Substitution Consultant.

Lol @ thegreatape. I have a hunch [s]our[/s] his problem extends beyond substitute shopping items!

[i]The price really is cheaper than Tesco and Sainsburys as well - I made sure by checking against a selection of complete orders to see which supermarket had the lowest cost for the entire week's shop. [/i]

Don't get out much?

Lol @ thegreatape. I have a hunch our his problem extends beyond substitute shopping items!

Too right it does! See the difficulty I'm having trying to identify and buy a bike rack for the car that's not 'too complicated'. Ratchet straps! Who finds a ratchet strap complicated? It's also my fault that she can't work her dropper post, and the PopLoc lever for her forks has been removed because after 2 yrs she still couldn't remember which way was locked and which wasn't, and the locked and unlocked padlock symbols didn't help matters.

I'm seriously concerned about our new car because it has a touchscreen and also cruise control, so that'll be two more things that 'don't work properly'.

Genuinely, utterly baffling. This is a women with 2 degrees and a very responsible job, which by all accounts she does very well at. Yet 'loses' her phone, keys and shoes every morning, despite them being clearly visible in front of her. I make a mental note each night when I go to bed as to where each of these items are, so I can direct her accordingly as she tries to leave the house 15 minutes late every day (set the alarm earlier, no, that's not necessary...), or a game of warmer/colder if I'm feeling playful.

Anyway, as you were.... Groceries wasn't it?

I expect it's an automated system to a broad extent, if X then Y sort of thing. I doubt they've employed someone at each depot as Holistic Grocery Substitution Consultant.

Thegreatape - and breathe!

Ocado here, and no issues.

Genuinely, utterly baffling. This is a women with 2 degrees and a very responsible job, which by all accounts she does very well at. she tries to leave the house 15 minutes late every day (set the alarm earlier, no, that's not necessary...), or a game of warmer/colder if I'm feeling playful.

Are me and you the same person? :confused:

I expect it's an automated system to a broad extent, if X then Y sort of thing. I doubt they've employed someone at each depot as Holistic Grocery Substitution Consultant.

we once received a substitute packet of biscuits that turned out to be the best goddamn biscuits id never have looked twice at in a supermarket, and we order them every time now.. Border Chocolate Gingers!

We haven't done online shopping since Mrs LJ switched to Aldi.

I suspect if Aldi started an online service, your groceries would be hurled in the general direction of your house from a moving vehicle.

Had washing up liquid substituted with dishwasher tabs once...

I'm not generally a fan of online shopping as My missus goes a bit off piste with it, she'll happily click on every 2for1 or special ignoring the actual cost or whether or not we need it and doesn't read key things like sizes or weights, I've lost count of the number of times she's gone for a "Cheap" loaf which actually turns out to be a tiny loaf (and hence relatively expensive). actually seeing what your buying still has some value for me.

Plus there's the substitutions, late or missed deliveries, short dates on items...

I've banned her from using Asda again, I'm not keen on Tesco, Sainsbury's have been OK but not faultless, We've only used Occado once (we're not posh) but that one delivery was fine...

I'm waiting for Morrisons to get into the online game, then for Aldi and Lidl to follow suit, once the discounters start delivering to your door it'll get fun...

they'd just dump the bag on the pavement, honk the horn

No comedy subsitutions to speak of but the big green trays that Tesco's deiver shopping in make excellent storage boxes for things in the house/garage/camping, and of course they stack really well. When the chaps out at the van just 'misplace' one in the living room out of sight. My wife asked the guy once if we could have one and he said yes, 'they don't count them at the depot' he said. 😈

All good now, I've done some wallpapering to calm down again...

they'd just dump the bag on the pavement, honk the horn

Bag's would cost extra, the honk probably would too...

Cookeaa, don't know where you live, but Morrissons are online and are very good.

And she's just texted me, having met up with the rest of the MTB club in town, to inform me that she's taken my bike shoes instead of hers 🙂

Every, bloody, day, there is some shit like this.

Can we have a thegreatape "things my wife has done today" thread?

Three weeks running ordered a washing up bowl three weeks running asda sent me the same cereal bowl.

beej - I suggest we wait until Friday. She's driving to the airport and catching a flight to the other end of the country. Without a grown up. There'll be loads of things, including but not limited to...

1) Driving halfway to her place of work (North of home) before realising she should be going south.
2) Failing to find the pre booked car park that we use every time.
3) Confiscation of expensive shampoo and conditioner at security.
4) Enjoying dinner so much and not hearing repeated announcements of her name (only one ear works to be fair) resulting in a sprint to the gate and arrival as they are about to chuck her off it.

These predictions are all evidence based.

i was heavily involved in the introduction of tesco online business to stores at the turn of the century. its an area the new broom will be sweeping a lot in. the business makes terrefic 'paper' profits however the reality is it loses the business piles of cash it would be cheaper if they just burnt piles of tenners.. take what you can while it lasts..pickers have carte blanche to choose whatever they want as a substitute although thier line manager does get a report of what the picker chose so your nicotine ptches will be a onee off. you do also have the opportunity to preselect subs yourself if you wish via comments when makeing your selctions online. ..

I think the great ape has Mrs G hidden away somehow! 2 degrees good job 'mobile 'phone? keys?, or is mrs ape missing tonite as mrs g is sat next to me.which is unusual just this second asked me if I have taken the car keys to work!!!! ( I did :oops:)

i was heavily involved in the introduction of tesco online business to stores at the turn of the century. its an area the new broom will be sweeping a lot in. the business makes terrefic 'paper' profits however the reality is it loses the business piles of cash it would be cheaper if they just burnt piles of tenners.. take what you can while it lasts..pickers have carte blanche to choose whatever they want as a substitute although thier line manager does get a report of what the picker chose so your nicotine ptches will be a onee off. you do also have the opportunity to preselect subs yourself if you wish via comments when makeing your selctions online. ..

I'm intrigued by this, I've read that the true cost of pick / delivery is about £15, so they're all losing money by offering the service, but they're all so scared of losing market share to each other that they have to offer it.
And they can't increase margins to absorb the cost because the discounters have got that covered.

Will be interesting to see where online grocery shopping goes next. An annual subscription I suspect.

Nope, she's home. Just defrosting in front of the fire.

I have one like thegreatape - 3 degrees, has travelled the world with work and amazingly still doesn't know where to find her phones (she has two), car keys, house keys, my house keys, the spare house keys, her purse, various clothing items in her possession only moments before, Rolex watch, engagement ring....

I'm surprised she hasn't left our daughter anywhere without realising...

Yet they can tell without even looking that you've left your pants on the floor and not in the basket