[Closed] Coffee machines, and why does my coffee taste of poo

I've got one of these. I do the following:

1. Heat up and do an empty run through to clear the pipes.
2. 2 level scoops of coffee into the portafilter.
3. Tamp once and clean any coffee off the edge. Don't want a bad seal here.
4. Make a 2 shot espresso.

Do whatever you want with milk - the main event is done. 😀

And, after a little bit of experimentation - I found that Lidl Bellarom makes a good enough espresso. Or certainly, good enough given the relatively low pressure of the machine.

Pour in the frothed milk.

Espresso coffee needs to be a finer grind than cafetiere or filter. The rate and pressure at which the water passes through the coffee is also important. it should take around 18s. Coffee should be made with hot but not boiling water - circa 85-95degC.

Whats your grind like, or are you using pre-ground coffee?

Freshly roasted and ideally home ground coffee makes a big difference to the flavour, and also make sure your coffee grind is producing an espresso in about 20-25 seconds.

1/3rd of the cup is quite a lot - I find running too much water through can make the coffee taste bad. Try just doing a 'shot' worth of coffee.

1/3 cup is a lot. Should only take about 20 seconds. Much longer and it gets very bitter and horrible.

Are you sure its not because it is poo?

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why does my coffee taste of poo

Because you're a Kopi Luwak gourmand, and your protestations of using Lavazza red are just a screen

#worsthumblebragever

thv3 is on to something

I've tried about 20 different types of ground coffee

Pre-ground coffee is shit. Get some beans (not from a supermarket) and a cheapo burr grinder and you'll get a much better drink

You need to use really fine grounds for espresso machine.
How about some Kopi Luwak, that is the good poo coffee.

The problem with that machine is that it hasn't got enough oomph to push through really fine grounds, even if lightly tamped. You need it to be a fraction coarser than expected, but not filter-coffee coarse. Otherwise you'll go well over 20s and end up with a rough coffee.

Hence, of the pre-ground supermarket stuff, the Bellarom works because it is a fraction coarser and makes an espresso in the correct time. It's not the best coffee in the world, but perfectly acceptable.

I just want to make a cappuccino which approximates the kind of thing you might get in a high-street coffee shop

Quite tricky to match, because they have very expensive machines. However it's possible.

1) It needs to be finely ground. Either grind yourself, ask Starbucks to do it when you buy beans, or get the Costa stuff which is occasionally available for paper filter/espresso machine. They sometimes say 'for all coffee makers' but this is bollocks. Whilst you won't die, anything coarse enough to work with cafetiere will be shite in an espresso machine. Grind your own.

2) Run some water through the machine once it's warmed up, before you make the coffee. Mine says it's warmed up, but it's lying. Run at least a cup full of water through first.

Freshly roasted

This is lovely, for sure, but it's advanced coffee snobbery. Those two points I made are basics and WILL provide you with drinkable decent lattes and cappucinos, even with supermarket coffee. Also make sure you get the dark/strong roast though - usually labelled '5' for strength. Goes better with the milk, which is why coffee shops usually use a dark roast.

In my experience even the difference between a 20s pour and a 60s pour is subtle, whereas the difference between 5s and 20s is huge. The former being really watery.

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[quote=theotherjonv ]why does my coffee taste of poo
Because you're a Kopi Luwak gourmand, and your protestations of using Lavazza red are just a screen
#worsthumblebragever

Ah yes, forgot where I was posting.

I should clarify therefore that it doesn't taste of poo in a good way.

OP,has your new pet been eating the beans then sneaking them back into the tin?
[img] [/img]

As others have suggested.

You need to seive-it first.

Ask on Mumsnet. Apparently there is some bloke pooing in strange places.

1/3 of a cup is only too much if your cup is too big.
A cappuccino is 1/3 espresso, 1/3 steamed milk, 1/3 milk froth, though most coffee shops are unaware of this. You drink the espresso/milk through the froth, much like a Guinness.
Putting too much water through the coffee will make it horribly bitter, get a row of shot glasses and take fractions of espresso at 3sec intervals. You should be able to taste the difference.
Beans should be between one and three weeks after roast, grind should be immediately prior to consumption.

All of the above are appropriate but the most major influence to shit coffee is volume.

Too much water through the grind will make a shit horrendously bitter coffee no matter what other steps you take

Let it boil then do a shot of coffee into the cup (approx 1/3 of the cup )

1/3rd cup is too much. (unless you have little cups)

even 'filling' an espresso cup is too much for my gaggia machine.

Pre-ground coffee is shit. Get some beans (not from a supermarket) and a cheapo burr grinder and you'll get a much better drink

hmmm. Agreed but you should be able to get high street equivalent coffee from it though.

watch what comes out of the 'spout', it'll start off looking like coffee, but after a few seconds it'll start to look progressively more watery.

you don't want to let too much of this watery stuff in your drink, it tastes 'orrible.

with a little practise/knob twiddling, you should be able to avoid too much of the bad stuff getting in your drink.

then you can start worrying which single estate coffee to pretend you prefer.

with a little practise/knob twiddling

You've been using those animal dropping beans sold at Center Parcs? 😆

Is it a single heater model? If it is and you are frothing your milk first it could be that the water is simply way too hot and is scorching the coffee.

I have a Gaggia Classic and if I am making multiple coffees and I have already frothed some milk, I switch it back to the lower heat and run it until water comes through rather than steam.

EDIT:
It says

It features a water boiler which can be switched between espresso and adjustable steam emission function which ensures faster use and optimum temperature control.

What does poo taste like?

What does poo taste like?

a bit like cheeseandbeans' stair carpet

get a row of shot glasses and take fractions of espresso at 3sec intervals. You should be able to taste the difference.

Some of the best and most practical advice I've seen on STW for ages 🙂

[i]get [s]a row of shot glasses and take fractions of espresso at 3sec intervals[/s][/i]
your money back and go to Caffe Nero ?

I had one of those machines - frothing milk is something I found mine couldn't really do (I think the staem pressure/volume wasn't up to it; bodged it by making an extra air hole near the top of the plastic shroud and it worked okayish after that)

If you're steaming the milk for ages it may well be going weird - try tasting just the milk

Get your money back and stop pratting around..
[img] [/img]
😈

Stop being a Jesse putting milk in coffee,espresso and nothing else required 😉

If you have trouble making froth you can lift the steam wand just to the surface of the milk and it sucks in some air to make good froth.

I have that machine and make reasonable coffees with it - better IMO than my GFs Gaggia bean to cup...

Follow the advice above for the coffee side of things, but for milk I find it isn't powerful enough and adds too much water to the milk - I usually preheat mine in the death ray before finishing it off with the steam wand.

Steam wand! *s****s*

lerk - Member
I usually preheat mine in the death ray before finishing it off with the steam wand.

If you preheat your milk then all you need is use Aerolatte stainless steel milk frother to get the froth. Does not even take 10 seconds if the battery is full and it will be perfect each time. That's what I do most of the time if I make tea/coffee latte, when I can't be asked to use steam wand.

My favourite at the moment is this coffee toy.

[url= http://www.waterbobble.uk/presse-by-bobble-silver/ ]Presse by Bobble[/url]

Absolutely brilliant!

Mine you it is not cheap but the best so far for fresh brew.

Coffee stay warm for 2 hours easily due to triple wall.

My Heston blumenthal sage recons the ideal extraction rate is 30ml of coffee between 25-30 secs.

You aren't after the best coffee in the world.

Keep it simple and buy a bag of espresso grind Taylors of Harrogate.

At least it will be the right grind which I guarantee is the issue here.

Its available in supermarkets

Oooh - just been looking at the Sage machines Bear, my new lusted for coffee machine is the Oracle as a result!

Perhaps when the Jura finally dies! It has been for one lot of repairs in the 8 years I have had it, about 5 years ago, so I am not sure how much longer it is going to keep going for now!!!

As for shit coffee. What everyone else said (from memory - the Jura is fully auto and produces passable coffee)

For bean to cup you might as well buy this ...

Melitta Varianza CSP Bean to cup (Silver or Black)
(you can adjust temp etc)

[url= https://www.bellabarista.co.uk/espresso-machines/all-coffee-machines/bean-to-cup.html ]Bella Barista[/url]

why does my coffee taste of poo