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Damn,
My brother in law has been going back and forwards to the Dr for some time now with chest issues. Due to real issues breathing last week he was admitted to hospital where fluid drained, CT scan, lung samples, etc. Appointment with consultant this morning to review results.
Unfortunately, he has lung cancer with some spread to liver.
Appointment with oncologist next week to figure out treatment plan.
Fit, strong 50-something who has never smoked, drank to excess and generally lived a healthy lifestyle. Only issue is that he is a fabricator and welder, which I'm sure has not helped. However, this is immaterial at this point.
I'm sitting here not knowing what I should or could do beyond offering positive words to my family and being there to assist in any way.
****!
Blimey, that’s appalling news! I’m not sure anyone can offer any advice other than just to say to try and be there when needed and offer all the support you can. Good luck!
****cancer, it's shite, took my grandad with bone cancer, my 38 year old sister has ovarian cancer as does my nan, my uncle had prostate cancer but thankfully is in remission, and my wife fights the good fight as a therapy radiographer on a cancer team, surrounded by it, such a horrible disease and he has my sympathies, but hopefully this is where his fitness truly matters and he can fight it.
Benz, im really sorry. Stay strong and be there for him. Im guessing you are about to enter a huge pressure cooker. If you need a destress ride and beer scenario in N Wales then let me know.
Keeping yourself together so you can be strong for him is important. My email is in my profile. All the best to you all.
I have sadly had the same experience and those same moments your in right now way to many times, 8 at last count.
The best thing you can do is absolutely the positive be there stuff but also I think a big dollop of just treat them as much as you can as you always have.
One of the people I know has one leg and it really pisses them off that people treat them differently or don't talk to them etc - just bloody stupid.
Just go and be you, be there and be a good mate.
Best of luck,
James
Lost my dad last year (although his cancer had spread EVERYWHERE).
My biggest regret is that neither of us managed to man up and broach the subject, I wasn't willing to accept it might be terminal, he (probably) wasn't willing to break it to me that it was.
We'd always had a great relationship, just never very good at big talk, feel like we wasted our last few months and weeks together skirting around the subject instead of properly talking about it.
Doubt your brother in law has it as bad as my dad did, but I'd agree with James above, maybe try and naturalise talking about it with him (might be easier if you're not immediate family?) and give him an outlet.
Besides chipping in to help out with a few things that he might struggle with during his treatment just carry on being your normal self around him. When everything around you is strange and apparently turning to shit a bit of normality goes a long way.
What muppetWrangler said. Just be yourself, its shite but you've seen the ads on tv. A person with cancer is still a person. Be there for him and hopefully his general good fitness will give him more ability to the fight the fight that's coming his way.
Going through this with one of my main bike buddies now, as with the OP hardly drinks never smoked apart from a very occasional ahem herbal cigarette , at the gym a few times a week.
Then boom at the beginning of October diagnosed with kidney cancer and 3 visible secondaries in his lungs. He had the kidney removed and started chemo after 4 weeks recovery but it hasn't really helped and he has more secondaries and a palliative care nurse.
I'm seeing him quite a lot and just being normal but within five minutes of leaving I'm in bits it just seems so unfair . Not helpful to you OP but just be there for him and his family. Best of luck.