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Yep, mines a murderous little sod
Looks like you’re having to stand on the chair to get away from him!
How can they be wide of the mark, it hasn’t happened yet, and yet we’re all wrong in our predictions?
Because based on previous experiences, rightly or wrongly, my kids are frightened of dogs. That is not going to change overnight and I do not want my kids or anyone elses sitting in fear in a setting that is supposed to be a managed safe place for them until/if they get used to the situation.
I have been working to get them used to dogs through contact with very placid, elderly dogs we know well. They are still nervous around those ones but slowly getting better. Throwing an excitable puppy (and all puppies are excitable) into the safe space is what turns manageable fear into phobias. I don't want them to get to that point.
If the childminder has done a risk assessment and has procedures in place then fine but given there has been zero communication about getting said dog then I will have to see on Monday if they have even considered their safety obligations or customers.
Several of the other parents have similar concerns and are also going to be seeking assurances that the dog will be properly managed and/or kept away from their kids if it causes a problem or the kids will be removed.
They are free to get a dog if they want and I have no intention to tell them they can't but as a lot of the parents have said they'd leave if it's not managed properly and it scares/nips/bites the kids then it is their choice as to whether to keep a dog or maintain a business.
there has been zero communication about getting said dog
Thought you said it was in a newsletter?
OK, last word from me then. So you come on and ask for advice, it gets given. People suggest that it's an ideal chance for the kids to experience it and there's a very good chance that while there will likely be a hump to get over, it'll be good for the kids in the longer term.
You say that it won't happen because x, y, z, and you're not prepared to use this opportunity for exposure "sitting in fear in a setting that is supposed to be a managed safe place for them until/if they get used to the situation" How's that going to happen unless you expose them to it?
And others join in with you knowing your kids better than me which is clearly true, but misses the point.
I even spent time writing a long post full of how to approach, that both you and PCA have ignored and just argued against a statement that is factually true. You're predicting how this will turn out as a fact, when you can't know because it hasn't happened yet.
My final parenting advice, of a generally well adjusted 17 and 19 year old. Including the younger one that wanted a dog but was very wary of the play nipping initially, and wanted it sent away. Stop wrapping them in cotton wool, this is a chance for them to learn how to overcome their fear of dogs. Your approach will set the tone as much as the childminders.
Seems a sensible approach OP. Would suggest you also ask the childminder about their previous experience with dogs. Might put you more at ease, or at least inform your decision as to whether to keep your kids there.
I understand your concerns although I think they are slightly unfounded
Speak to the child minder. If not happy after that find another one. It’s not your decision about what dog they get. It is your decision whether you want to employ their services in future
I personally think that it would be good for them, certainly in the long run. Let’s be brutally honest here, no child has ever been mauled to death by a 10 week old collie pup. And growing up with a fear of dogs isn’t a healthy thing for a kid.
if you aren’t happy with the situation, find another child minder and do it quietly before the other parents who aren’t happy with the situation start looking
Crumbs^
We don't know if the purchase of the puppy was a considered decision. If it was then surely parents should have been informed as soon as a date was arranged for puppy to join the CM's family. Common courtesy and would have given parents time to ask q's or express their concern. We don't know the background of the puppy ie was it from a reputable breeder? Show or working stock? Does the CM have previous experience with this breed? Was the breeder made aware that the woman was a CM and ran a business? Any decent breeder with a good reputation would have done due diligence surely?
Put the issue of the OP's children being nervous around dogs to one side. See the bigger picture.
Thought you said it was in a newsletter?
I'm sure you understood but to spell it out there was zero communication about getting a dog prior to the "we now have a dog" in the news letter.
Whilst I agree that Common courtesy would have been to tell the op before hand, the circumstances of how they acquired it can be established when the OP speaks to the CM. That’s the time to establish the ‘bigger picture’ if they have concerns. (ideally the time for that was prior to them getting the hound but that’s clearly now passed)
Ultimately, the OP doesn’t have any right to dictate how the CM acquired the hound. And that would still be true even if they’d been informed prior to them getting it. If however they have concerns about it after speaking to the CM they can find another CM.
I even spent time writing a long post full of how to approach, that both you and PCA have ignored
I haven't ignored it. I am doing most of that in a controlled way starting with placid dogs we know and working towards more excitable dogs rather than just throwing them in the deep end and telling them to stand still and tuck their hands in whilst an animal jumps all over them and they get hysterical with (possibly irrational) fear.
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all to be concerned. The fact that the childminder has chosen a border collie would be a bit of a red flag for me suggesting that they perhaps don't understand what collies need to prevent them being bored and full of unused energy which can lead to problems. Border collies are not "easy" dogs and that is perhaps evidenced by the number of collies we see on rehoming sites. My sister and BIL have 2 semi working collies on their sheep farm - by that I mean they do work the sheep but they are also house pets - they are lovely dogs and I would trust them as much as I would trust any dog but their brains need to be kept busy and they need to be able to burn off their massive amounts of energy to keep them content. I think the thing for me here is that although you are happy with them as a childminder you have no idea how good they are going to be at training and socialising their dog and I don't think it necessarily follows that someone who is good at looking after children is going to be a good dog owner. I would, however, be seriously considering getting a puppy yourselves so that you can be in control of the situation and try to help the girls overcome their fear, assuming that your circumstances would make having a dog possible.
mate works in A&E and has lost count how many dachshund bites she’s had to stitch up vs any other breed.
To be fair, the one in the photo on the previous page looks like it's a cross-breed with a meerkat.
Whilst I agree that Common courtesy would have been to tell the op before hand, the circumstances of how they acquired it can be established when the OP speaks to the CM.
I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that she thought "I'll get a puppy, the kids will love it!"
"I would, however, be seriously considering getting a puppy yourselves so that you can be in control of the situation and try to help the girls overcome their fear, assuming that your circumstances would make having a dog possible."
This is bonkers imo. Don't get a puppy because your kids are scared of dogs. Get one if you actually want one and your family fits around having it.
The CM business must be fairly organised and, may I venture to assume, sizeable, if they issue a newsletter to share communications. Mentioning other parents, how many kids does the CM take? Is it just the one person looking after the kids or do they have “staff”. I stand by what I said earlier, a change to the risk profile should be duly considered. If all the parents aren’t happy and leave, then what is the CM going to do, return the pooch or find new kids, or wind up the business?
Don’t get a puppy because your kids are scared of dogs.
I was petrified of dogs. Then my dad became a dog handler. Didn’t have a lot of choice after that. Possibly says more about my dad’s parental skills than anything else. But I do like dogs now!
Its a puppy, get the kids excited about it. They will love it and they will no longer be scared of dogs. Lots of win imo
Alternatively, kids are anxious about dogs already having been nipped by pups,dogs. Kids get nipped again as ‘thats what puppys do’ which reinforces their view of dogs completely undoing any progress I’ve made over the last couple of years trying yo make them less scared of dogs.
Everyone loses.
Fair enough, I still think it could be a good thing. You just need to tell the child minder that your kids are scared of dogs and see what they say. Good luck
Put the issue of the OP’s children being nervous around dogs to one side. See the bigger picture.
i’m all for conversions developing, but that isn’t the question the op asked.
i suspect the dog was bought from a puppy mill with zero thought to the consequences beyond:
“I’ll get a puppy, the kids will love it!”
i suspect the dog was bought from a puppy mill with zero thought to the consequences
Based on what?
I like a lot of dogs and tolerate most dogs. I’ve only had positive experiences with Collies and think there is some merit to the help the kids be more comfortable with dogs argument. It’s 12 yrs since we last had a childminder but I am certain she would never have bought a dog without consulting with us. I’m pretty sure it’s the sort of thing that was mentioned in adverts/listings for childminders so clearly something some parents would be alert to. I doubt your kids are actually at any meaningful risk from the dog, might actually benefit and it would all be ok if you do nothing BUT this feels like the sort of childminder who sees looking after other people’s kids as a way to pay the bills whilst staying living the home life she wants to live. If you have the luxury of shopping around for childcare you’ll find there are other “supppliers” who actually care about the kids and customers and would never change the work environment so significantly without consultation.
Fully understand the OP concerns, our daughter is caught between a love of dogs but a fear of one that got quite aggressive in her face when she was 3 with no control from the owner. I wouldn't be keen on the potential situation to mix with a highly energetic and unpredictable dog, which it will be for quite a while.
We are also gradually getting our daughter used to mixing with dogs again through mellow dogs, but also knowing which dogs are aggressive in the village and why (one was hit by child on a bike for example so is defensive and we stop and give it space on the bikes). Knowing what excites dogs and that some owners are just piss poor. It's the speed of approach and sudden bark that triggers our daughter most.
Just trying to get her back to the point where she found it hilarious for a Newfoundland to lick her from her toes to her nose.
As mentioned multiple times, chat to the CM about your children's concerns and plans for the dog. Or take it as a prompt for flexible working arrangements and riding to and from school with your kids.
IMO you're not being unreasonable. They're your kids and if you're not happy with the situation then you're more than entitled to find someone else.
Just a question for the OP, what do you actually want ?
It's the OPs decision when and how he introduces his children to dogs.
This seems like a simple question. Of what risk assessments the child minder has taken. I am not an expert but assume the childminder must have appropriate risk assessments and be registered with a local authority, and be subject to regular (annual?) in person audit. If this is a puppy then for a start it won't even be house trained or had a full set of inoculations yet.
Just going from anecdotal evidence as everyone else seems to be, mate works in A&E and has lost count how many {insert breed of dog here to make a vague point} bites she’s had to stitch up vs any other breed.
A very different scenario but my wife decided that she was going to take our family dog into her school because of the proven benefits of having a school dog.
She sent out a letter to parents explaining her plans and asked for any concerns to be heard so she could identify any children that were fearful.
She discovered in the whole school, there were three children who were scared of dogs. These children were introduced to the dog under close supervision with the dog on a lead and gradually over time, the children overcame their fears to the extent that they want their own dogs!
The point I’m trying to make is that if the childminder has already a plan in place for how she’s going to manage the dog/child situation, this could be a perfect opportunity for your kids to learn about how to behave around dogs and ultimately overcome their fear.
You first need to have a conversation with her and take it from there.
There are now three different dogs in school on different days who just wander about into whatever classes they like and the outcome of this has been massively positive. Like my wife says, the power of the dogs presence is very useful especially when children are distressed.
I know i.said I was making a final point and then stepping away but now I'm dragged back in.
I want an office dog that just wanders around the site and in and out of meetings as it chooses.
Just a question for the OP, what do you actually want ?
Ultimately I want to know how it has been risk assessed, how the dog will be introduced, if it will be supervised by adults at all times, how will she stop it nipping the kids, what will she do with the dog if the kids are scared of it, how will they manage walks, training etc whilst looking after our children.......
What I wanted to know was was I being unreasonable to even approach her with these questions/concerns. It seems I wasn't and depending on her answers we will either see how it goes or adapt my working to make use of the after school club.
We aren't the only ones out of the half dozen or so parents that use her that are considering a move because of this.
suspect this was a bit of an impulse buy.
Having had the kids there for 4 years I don’t hold out hope it’ll get the amount of walking, training and stimulation a collie needs.
sounds like you think your childminder is a cretin - dogs or no dogs, you should really find a childcare provider you can trust. I can’t imagine leaving my kids with someone I don’t trust to do normal domestic things.
You aren't being unreasonable in approaching her with those questions.
You are being unreasonable if you think you already have the answers before you start.
An amazing amount of assumption and leaping to conclusions here!
OP vote with your feet if you don't like the idea, but you do seem to have made your mind up already.
AFAIA the childminder can do whatever he/she likes. I'm just waiting for it to be blamed on the Tories!
We aren’t the only ones out of the half dozen or so parents that use her that are considering a move because of this.
I'm sure he/she will be devastated.
To go back to the OPs original post:
Am I being totally unreasonable to be concerned and thinking this is a bit of a dick move by the childminder?
You're not being unreasonable to be concerned about how it'll be managed, and it's flipping obvious you need to talk to her (not sure why you even needed to start the thread tbh)
You are being unreasonable calling it "a bit of a dick move" without having had that conversation.
There’s a childminder in our village who has looked after generations of kids at the local primary school and is highly regarded. She’s always had 2 or 3 big poodles at a time and it’s never been an issue with anyone.
Looks like you need a new childminder. Sounds like you don’t like this one anyway.
I want an office dog that just wanders around the site and in and out of meetings as it chooses.
Arrgh!!! no!! By all means enjoy having a dog, but stop forcing them on everyone else. I'm convinced there's a dog equivalent to toxoplasmosis, that's turns dog owner's brains to mush. It is becoming virtually impossible to avoid dogs (and their owners) nowadays.
I want an office dog that just wanders around the site and in and out of meetings as it chooses.
Do you not have people that just do that anyway?
The childminder must already know your kids don't like dogs from park visits etc ? My wife was a childminder for a while and we always used that as an excuse as to why our family couldn't have a dog (got a cat instead) just didn't fancy all the hassle of dealing with parents.
Do you not have people that just do that anyway?
Yes, but the CEO gets a bit annoyed when we make him roll over and rub his belly.
Put the issue of the OP’s children being nervous around dogs to one side. See the bigger picture.
Hmmm, surely the 'bigger picture' is that the childminder's business is providing child care in the first instance, not conditioning other people's kids to be comfortable around dogs?
If there are kids under the care of the CM who are nervous around dogs, and they introduce a new, potentially untrained dog into that environment, is that still the best care environment for those kids?
TBH it's feeling like we're headed into post pandemic-pooch syndrome now. Where those who didn't impulse buy a wittle fluffy crap generator mid-apocalypse have finally been overwhelmed by their FOMO, and started getting dogs without fully considering how that new pet is going to integrate into their life.
Childminding is a care business, it's not plugging people into ventilators, or hoisting the elderly out of bed but you are responsible for some relatively vulnerable humans and splitting your attention between them and a furry lifestyle accessory isn't something I'd have been keen on when our kids were that sort of age...
Of course if they like dogs and working from home, they could always wind up the Childminding business and start dog walking/minding, the ones near us seem to be doing cracking trade. It's almost as if lots of people suddenly bought dogs without having the time to fully care for them 😉
It's all gone a bit "episode of motherland" I guessing there is a parent what's app group there normally is.
There are bigger problems/challenges our children will face in life than this.
Embrace the change.
OP just go and ask the child minder.
I’m convinced there’s a dog equivalent to toxoplasmosis, that’s turns dog owner’s brains to mush. It is becoming virtually impossible to avoid dogs (and their owners) nowadays.
That's more or less what Jay Rayner's restaurant review today says:
Dog lovers can be an ardent, overheated lot who think every room everywhere can only be improved by the presence of a canine, restless or otherwise. I’m genuinely glad your dogs bring you so much love and comfort and companionship. I just don’t want one indulging in rigorous arse-end frottage against me while I’m trying to get into the asparagus. Is that so weird?
It's interesting how many comments here are saying "your kids should be around dogs because it will be good practice for when they're around dogs". This is exactly like the gun nut argument that kids should shoot guns because it'll teach them how to be around guns. Okay, but why do you think people want to be around dogs or guns?
Because, like it or not, they exist. Unless we're planning on abolishing dogs (or guns, weird analogy but OK) then it's sensible to get used to it. I don't particularly want muddy paws jumping up on my nice clean jeans, but the reality is that it's going to happen because too many people are assholes.
If I lived in the US I'd probably want my kids to know how to behave around guns, even if it's little more than "they're dangerous, leave them alone."
Dogs are part of the normal human social environment and have been for thousands of years. As cougar says, unless you are planning to abolish them, isn’t it better to be able to tolerate them rather than living in fear of something you are likely to meet every day?
Just a question for the OP, what do you actually want ?
Is it not obvious? He wants her to bend to his will. Anything less is unacceptable. Your job is to validate this by agreeing wholeheartedly and providing methods of making her do as the OP wishes.
And for the avoidance of doubt,
I love dogs but I'm sick to the hind teeth of dog apologists who expect everyone else to love their manic furbaby as much as they do. "He's only playing!" I don't care, humans trump dogs and have the right to be left alone if they want. I'm simply looking at the practicality of it.
If I lived in the US I wouldn't own a gun but I'd want to know what to do for the best if one was pointed at me, and squealing that people shouldn't have guns or to keep theirs away from me if they do is perhaps laudable but naive.
As this is a regulated buisness what do the rules say regarding kids and dogs. I'd quite like to see the risk assessment regarding a young, untrained collie being around pre school children when the adult supervising them all might have conflicting loyalties in the event of an incident. They can do what they want in their own time / place but not when people are paying them to look after their kids. This has nothing to do with people's love of dogs or whether kids should be acclimatised to them because they exist, it's purely a safeguarding issue, Ofsted need to be informed and proper risk assessments completed.
So OP no I don't think YABU.
Op. 100% not being unreasonable.
Totally valid points.
Ignore the weird minority who think their advice MUST BE OBEYED.
Believe me as a dog owner I see the worst side of dog owners everyday when walking mine.....I think the problem with dogs is that they are owned by people and people are morons, even some of the bike riding ones
Problem is the childminder has already bought the dog.
So only the OP can decide if they are happy with the arrangements. We don’t know the size of the house or garden or where the dog is going to be kept in the day.
A lot of question need to be asked.
And you can’t compare farm collies to pet collies - the former are bought to do a job, be that herding or animal management or being chained to a kennel all day as a guard dog/early warning system. And will more often than not live outside in kennels and not be part of the household.
I haven't read all the replies to see if this has been asked yet, but OP – have you actually spoken to the childminder and asked what their plan is regarding the dog when she has young children around? Is it going to have a free run of the house/garden and be accompanying the kids when being dropped off/picked up etc? Or will it be kept safely separate from them at all times?
If I lived in the US I wouldn’t own a gun
I would! I know they’re dangerous and I believe in gun control, but until then; if I’m allowed to have guns I’m having them. I know I could have them here but the very sensible UK gun laws make it a faff (rightly so) and going to a gun club sounds dull. Whereas in the US one could walk into a 7-11, come out with a couple of semiautomatic assault weapons and some beer, head out to the woods and chop some trees in two. Sounds a hoot!
Obviously i’d exercise some personal responsibility and not lend them out to little kiddies or leave them on the front lawn etc.
🇺🇸
Based on what?
hyperbole bordering on hysteria. oh, and speculation.
a day care owner who buys a dog without apparent thought for the children that are in her care and no prior communication with the customers about a fairly significant change that is being introduced is perhaps likely to be as equally unthinking about where she gets a dog.
Whereas in the US one could walk into a 7-11, come out with a couple of semiautomatic assault weapons and some beer, head out to the woods and chop some trees in two. Sounds a hoot!
Obviously i’d exercise some personal responsibility and not lend them out to little kiddies or leave them on the front lawn etc.
i’m sure you’re not being entirely serious, but it’s worth noting that you’d need to have the permission of the landowner before shooting-up the woods.
Ahh. Sad news. I’d assumed, being so large, the US wasn’t all privately owned as it is here. Well in that case :
it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission
Surprised nobody has said this, but surely one of the childminders can look after the dog whilst the other[s] looks after the kids...
Ahh. Sad news. I’d assumed, being so large, the US wasn’t all privately owned as it is here. Well in that case :
you won’t believe this, but the publicly (government?) owned parks really frown on shooting the trees! i thought it was a free country!
Surprised nobody has said this, but surely one of the childminders can look after the dog whilst the other looks after the kids…
again, i’m not sure if this is jocular, but the op isn’t paying the daycare to look after a dog.
i’d be very surprised if the dog was going to be using the same parts of the house as the children.
i’d be very surprised if the dog was going to be using the same parts of the house as the children.
Ooh, interesting, because I'd presumed (based on nothing) that the dog would be sharing the same parts of the house as the children. Now I have to know.
There is only one person looking after the kids. It is not a daycare with staff.
There is the lounge and small garden accessed through the kitchen where the kids are allowed to go so unless they are further limiting the kids access or the dog is locked upstairs away from the kids they will be together.
I have asked the questions yesterday and am awaiting answers.
In terms of asking if it's a dick move; either they knew they were going to get it but didn't inform anyone until the day after we paid Junes fees and haven't bothered sending out any information, risk assessments, etc with the notification or they have bought it on a whim and haven't considered any of the above. Either of the above options constitutes a dick move in my view.
There is only one person looking after the kids. It is not a daycare with staff.
Not according to the thread title 😉
didn’t inform anyone until the day after we paid Junes fees
Just ask for a refund explaining your reasons and see what she says?
Our childminder got a Staffie at short notice, We had similar concerns but came to the conclusion that if we trusted the CM to look after our child, we trusted them to look after a dog properly and it was all fine.
Just to reinforce my view, the sheer self entitled arrogance of them inflicting their dog on a bunch of kids deserves you giving them the boot.
Genaeralist +1. I too hold apostrophies in higher esteem than dogs!
I want an office dog that just wanders around the site and in and out of meetings as it chooses.
mine does that. he's called frank. he's a pretty fearful boy but is a working lab so looks quite tough and has a big bark. could be intimidating and i take that in to account when he reacts to people - mainly men, especially is wearing caps.
for the poster that remarked above that dogs seem to have more rights than people (or similar) i'd say don't be so ****ing stupid. in no world does a responsible dog owner want a problem between their dogs and humans. it's only going one way and that's a death sentence for the dog. the number of people who've let their children come up to my dogs in the bar at my local without even for a moment considering that my dog may not appreciate the attention is staggering. even little ones still rocking nappies. i'm confident that my dog does not pose a threat but it would at least be nice to be asked and my dogs are not an educational toy. fundamentally though he has a mouth full of teeth and they're at child height.
as to the OP's position i'm on the 'find out where we are first' side, and i'd add a side order of look around for other options. it's the CM's business and they can run it as they see fit. it's the OP's kids and he's free to take his custom elsewhere.
for the poster that remarked above that dogs seem to have more rights than people (or similar) i’d say don’t be so **** stupid.
Holds up hand and didn't expect anyone to take that comment seriously. However, I totally agree with you that folk should ask before letting their children pet them and this is something that I drummed into my kids when young. Nevertheless there's far too many folk who're treating their dog as a cuddly toy/furbaby/entertainment value and believe that attitudes need to change.
As cougar says, unless you are planning to abolish them, isn’t it better to be able to tolerate them rather than living in fear of something you are likely to meet every day?
No-one is living in fear - you've just made that up. Cockroaches are part of the human environment but no-one suggests kids should hang out with them (apart from toxoplasmosis-mindbent cockroach fans).
it’s the CM’s business and they can run it as they see fit.
No, actually they can't, they should be Ofsted registered and inspected. Having a dog needs to be notified to Ofsted and risk assessments done with appropriate safeguards put in place. If that means the dog doesn't come into contact with the kids I could understand it, if the dog is allowed to freely mingle with them I love to see how they are managing the associated risks. This is a buisness where H & S legislation applies and safeguarding is a requirement. This isn't the same as dropping your kids off with a family friend for the odd day.
Just a reminder what dogs can do.
No-one is living in fear
That's not true judging by the way people cross the street when I walk down the road with mine or when I see kids literally run away when she trots past at least 10m away totally ignoring them. Not blaming them and they have obviously had bad experiences but many people do seem to be very afraid if dogs.
Just a reminder what illegal dogs can do
arrested on suspicion of owning a banned breed of dog
Bit of a step up from a BC
I want an office dog that just wanders around the site and in and out of meetings as it chooses.
Lola comes in sometimes. I asked absolutely everyone before bringing her in the first time. She is widely loved and goes wandering off to get head claps. She doesn't jump or anything. And she gets taken home if she gets restless..it would stop immediately if someone had an issue (I ask all new starts etc before) or if she developed any anti social behaviour.
@jonm81 Its an interesting and emotive point (based on skim reading some of the comments above). I spoke with our former child minders who I remain in contact with socially. They considered it a risky move by the CM. You and other parents are a customer and the question needs to be asked if they considered the impact of having a new pet on their customers i.e. what if a child they mind has an allergy? They should, from a business perspective have raised this with their clients first.
OFSTED - have they updated their R/A? OFSTED take a very dim view on this and it will hit their rating which again hits their market. Did they could manage the risk? Again, going back to the allergy point (my kids do have severe allergies), did they check with clients if the children had allergies?
Conclusion: It is completely their decision to get a dog. It is completely your decision to remain with them. From personal experience I know how difficult it is to get a good child minder and you are now in the position of trying to find a new Minder on short notice which I know creates a whole world of stress. The CM has alienated a potential customer base through either ignorance or error and this could prove costly for them i.e. losing at short notice a chunk of income in a cost of living crisis.
this could prove costly for them i.e. losing at short notice a chunk of income in a cost of living crisis.
There has been some rather strange aspects of the child minder's decision to get a pet dog discussed here.
Including now whether it is appropriate given the cost of living crises and the potential effect on the child minder's financial situation.
Whatever discussion the OP has with her I strongly suggest that child minder's personal financial situation is left out of it.
Have any of you actually tried to get a child minder lately.
Maybe your area is different to the norm but right now the childminder could probably fill the spots tomorrow if they lived here.especially offering wrap around care alone
They probably know this so are willing to take the risk as they want a dog for their family.
Not saying it's right but they probably have considered many of the arguements put forward here which are mostly centres around them jeopardising their finances.
I have asked the questions yesterday and am awaiting answers.
In terms of asking if it’s a dick move; either they knew they were going to get it but didn’t inform anyone until the day after we paid Junes fees and haven’t bothered sending out any information, risk assessments, etc with the notification or they have bought it on a whim and haven’t considered any of the above. Either of the above options constitutes a dick move in my view.
Yes, all you can do for now then make you mind up whether the set-up is ok or not.
Yes.
fwiw, I have had been bitten on the leg by a border collie on a farm. And a pet border collie did go for me once, but decided to sink it teeth into my front tyre instead once I stopped to fend it off. In both cases it's got to be the owners at fault, as the farm one had no-one around and the border collies were in a big pack and the pet one was a young dog with owners in their 80s who were out of sight. So on the basis that rubbish owners exist, I am wary of border collies and similar dogs.
I have had cats since 1999, grown up with dogs and we acquired a dog in July last year.
Unless there is a specific allergy, I would not think there would be an issue if the new dog and children were not allowed to mix.
With any animal we have had, I have always supervised children around them and ensured that if needed - they have been kept separate.
That includes our own, the children of friends and my young nephew.
I would be very surprised and disappointed if they were allowed around each other.
people cross the street when I walk down the road with mine or when I see kids literally run away when she trots past
🤔
Allergies is a good point and one I hadn't considered. Even if they're kept separate during sessions, the kids will be in an area which usually contains dogs and that could present an issue.
It sounds unlikely - it probably is - but it's possible. A former work colleague and friend of mine who pops round for a brew occasionally is allergic to our cats. I keep them away from him as much is practical in an open-plan house and he dopes up on antihistamines before he visits, and he still leaves with red eyes and his face streaming.
Though, on the basis of previous comments I'd have thought that would be part of a risk assessment? I'm assuming she's a Registered Childminder by profession and not just Doris down the road who looks after them for a bit?
A discussion is obviously needed between the OP and their childminder, but I'd view the situation as out-sourcing dog ownership, just as you have out-sourced child day care 😉 . FWIW, we waited until our youngest son was 3 before acquiring a dog, as we deemed that was the age when the child would understand that a dog is not a play thing/toy. We've never left a dog alone with a young child either. I'm always happy for children to pet Henry and our previous dogs, but they have to ask first. We have also had spaniels rather than BC's - BC's having been highly strung and somewhat challenging in my past experience.
To the OP, you'll have a dog within a year, and be looking for a dog minder next. Get a cocker spaniel 😉
To the OP, you’ll have a dog within a year, and be looking for a dog minder next.
This
Get a cocker spaniel 😉
Not this. Fabulous dogs, batshit crazy.
Maybe your area is different to the norm but right now the childminder could probably fill the spots tomorrow if they lived here.especially offering wrap around care alone
Sod the childminding. I could WFH from her house, and have 8 hour a day on demand access to a puppy that I can then walk away from when it pisses on the floor and cries all night. First dibs if there is a space coming up, when all these parents stage a mass exodus.
Allergies is a good point and one I hadn’t considered.
Have you considered that being in contact with dogs at a very young age helps to stop children develop serious allergies? I posted a link on the first page of this thread.
From the link I posted:
Researchers have found having a dog, and preferably two, can protect a child against developing allergies.
Youngsters in households with dogs, from three months old, were 90% less likely to develop food intolerances.
And they were also less likely to become asthmatic.
While having a cat in the house with children might also be beneficial to protect against food allergies, they could cause wheezing.
Obviously any allergy which a child might suffer from is a serious issue but I would expect the child minder to have been informed anyway. A dog doesn't have to be physically present to trigger an allergy in someone.