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the lad may be coming into contact with these soon, recently split, ex will need benefits as she says shes below minimum wage and cant afford to live. they had 1 (beautiful of course) child together, she also has an older lad by a different father.
i went through this myself with the CSA back in the day which was an horrific experience so im hoping its a little more considerate these days? i certainly havent heard of fathers for justice for a long time, and batman climbing big ben or whatever.
a quick google suggests 12% of gross pay for 1 child. he's self employed and then gets a rebate at the end of the year but says his top line last year was 30k. quick calculation suggests he may have to pay around £300 p/m if theyre involved.
however, he has our grandaughter a fair bit himself, last week it was 4 days, this week 1 day, its irregular but its still shared parenting weighted towards his ex.
is this taken into account? say on average it worked out at 2 nights per week over a few months, would 2/7ths get knocked off the amount to be paid? does it work like that? and 50/50 say would be no money changes hands?
that also got me thinking about my view on the CSA back in the day, where i had the odd mate or two that were totally rinsed by them, and we thought all that moneys not going to their ex, wheres it going? i dont know how much benefits are these days, but would the full £300 go to his ex? what if he was considerably better off, say 100k a year? would the ex actually get £1000 per month or do they just get the benefits theyve claimed for and the rest gets swallowed up in 'admin fees'?
i guess itd probably always be better to come to a private arrangement that suits them both rather than involve the CMS, then more money could actually be spent on his daughter directly, but he just doesnt want to finance her new life and have no say in where that money goes.
oh and if its relevant, she gets a pittance of a payment from 'dad 1' as he was assessed when he was out of work. hes working now so i suppose she should revisit that rather than keep trying to get more money from our lad.
thank you
Here is the calculator. I used it as a guide when coming to a private agreement. The calculator reflect the number of nights spent with the child. You can pay to the child maintenance service but they take a chunk for their trouble
Calculate your child maintenance - GOV.UK
I came here to suggest the same as above. I pay directly to to my daughter's mum an amount based on the GOV calculator that we mutually agreed on.
Thanks, that makes total sense. He's going to try that approach but you know, exes and all that 😁
I came here to suggest the same as above. I pay directly to to my daughter's mum an amount based on the GOV calculator that we mutually agreed on.
Same here.
Do encourage your lad to try to keep things amicable and reasonable, it will pay dividends for the kid's future as well as making his life easier now.
Do encourage your lad to try to keep things amicable and reasonable, it will pay dividends for the kid's future as well as making his life easier now.
Whole heartily agree with that sentiment for sure, was lucky enough that both my ex & I put our boys first come what may but as my current wife reminds me it does need two willing partners for that to work, best wishes for the future to your lad & grandchild sadexpunk
yer unfortunately it is what it is.
get a routine in place so the days with him are set in stone, and then get both parties to use the calculator..
it's best to do it amicably as the CSA or whatever now take a cut from both sides i believe.
Everyone loses if CSA get involved. Good luck to your son.
Do encourage your lad to try to keep things amicable and reasonable, it will pay dividends for the kid's future as well as making his life easier now.
oh i have done, but then sighed sadly as he showed me the 'text wars' that theyve just been having. theres a lot of bitterness there which i really dont understand, but i can only be the voice of reason and hope he listens.
get a routine in place so the days with him are set in stone, and then get both parties to use the calculator..
it's best to do it amicably as the CSA or whatever now take a cut from both sides i believe.
theres always been the arrangement that we/he will have her at times to suit all parties. last week we had her 4 nights, this week just one, so we're happy for that to continue unless comms break down so badly that it needs to be in place. i dont envisage that tho.
and the CMS/CSA actually deduct from the 'benefits claimant' now do they? i didnt know that.
Everyone loses if CSA get involved. Good luck to your son.
yeah i keep telling him that and he doesnt want it either. hes offered her an amount in line with the calculator and shes said she'll think about it 🙄 i think she thinks that she'll be punishing him by doing so, but hes told her he doesnt mind which way she goes.
thank you
Echoing the above...
1 - do direct pay, as then HE pays less, and the Ex gets it all.
2 - the calculator takes into account his income, and the no. of days he has the child.
I will say the CMS is pretty rubbish though, as they kept overcharging me as they never took into account my pension payments (which are deducted from my pay) and simply wouldn't believe me, despite giving info.
Additionally, now we have the kids 50:50, and both me AND the ex contacting them, they are still sending out annual "you owe her this much" letters..
DrP
Be careful what you agree to, when the CMS get set up initially they look for an agreement between the parties on the number of nights. To get a change to these (like with ad-hoc arrangements where things change week to week) then it needs both parties to agree before any changes are made.
You can't really get them to change the amount month by month if they're involved, the admin burden would be a nightmare and as soon as anyone gets annoyed then they won't agree to the changes etc etc etc.
The only way that things can get changed after the inital setup is a signed agreement from something like mediation or a court order.
sadly after another 'text war' (despite my advice to just leave it) she's saying shes going to the CMS, obviously to 'punish' him.
so, therell be no winners i guess, thats if she goes through with it.
out of interest, say it happens, i assume they base it on last years earnings. if you earn less over the last few months can you ask for a re-assessment?
and can it be stopped at any time and go back to direct payment if they miraculously became civil with each other?
thanks
What'll happen is that they'll look at his last years earnings and base it off that, if his earning change my more than 25% then he can apply to have it recalculated.
They will give him the calculation of how much he needs to pay and he will initially have the option of 'direct pay' which means that he just sends her the money on the due date that they specify and it doesn't cost him anything in collection fees. I can't state this clearly enough JUST PAY THE MONEY. You can argue the toss later on, but just pay the money, you will not win an argument with the CMS.
If he starts dicking about paying her late then she can apply for 'collect and pay' which means the CMS will come after him for the money or if he's PAYE just nick it befoer he sees it. This costs your lad a load of cash in colleciton fees and nobody is a winner see point JUST PAY THE MONEY.
Honestly the best advice i can give is to just look at the worst case scenario, make your peace with that and try not to let the injustice of it all grind you down 🤣