[Closed] Charging kids 'rent'

Seems totally normal to me. Just don't go mad, 15-20% of take-home should be reasonable.

Charge it, save it, give it back when they want to buy their own place.

I'm 26. When if got my first job at 17 I was paying £20 per week rent to the folks.
Seemed more than fair to me at the time, also paid my own mobile bill.

To my parents it wasn't about the money but just teaching me some responsibility.

We've had 4 daughters go through this, about 20% of their wages was about where we settled too.

Yes totally normal... My folks took a fair £25 a week at that age and I was earning £125 a week..

They did save some of it for me (which I was unaware of) and gave me a chunk back when I booked a snowboarding trip. Isn't that nice of them. I had friends that paid nothing to their folks though so I guess that's normal too.

Too many 'kids' can't find any incentive for moving out, due to free luxuries at home / parents subsidising their privileged lifestyle - So get them to work out and pay for their fair share.
(Mrs Stuey says when the time comes we'll bank their rent and give it to them for flat deposits when the finally fly the nest.)

Charge it for sure.

i know of a frend who at 21 or so was paying £50 a week (some 7/8 years back) and really compaining about it - laundry heat light broadband the full whack when his take home was about £250 per week. (i think he at about £10 worth of bacon a week!) If you dont get them used to contributing then real world self suffciency will be a big shock.
I never did - i went out and did higher eduction (which i ballesed up good n proper) and then got a job and paid my way, however if i lived at home i expected to pay my way not coast/sponge.

I paid 1/3 of take home while living at home and working full time. It was spent on bills so I never saw it back when I moved out.

Let them enjoy their money - they have plenty of time to 'learn resonsibility' ffs. 18 was the only age I've got enjoy 100% disposable income.

Paid about £350 a month at 19 (london, decent enough job) I didn't contribute to food or anything like that though, seemed really unfair at the time.

Got it all back in a lump sum as above, it was great 😀

Oh, it might have helped if someone had explained and broken down the costs of running a house to me at the time as well gas/council tax/mortgage/water etc

Maybe the idea that her rent barely covers the council tax, let alone the mortgage might make her realise 🙂

I paid rent from the point I got a job of any form. Seems perfectly normal.

Seems a bit harsh, depends if the money from 40hrs a week will be pissed away or saved for the next year's studies.

Doesn't sound unreasonable.

I didn't have to pay out until I'd finished uni, once I'd done that and was bumming around riding bikes and saving for the snowboard trip of a lifetime. It wasn't much, about £40 a week but I guessed it helped a bit.

One of my mates has a good job, company car and still lives at home and pays sweet FA. He doesn't even clear stuff like glasses out of him room. God knows what he does with his money.

I"ve always been against the idea of charging kids 'rent'. Sure get them to contribute, like do a weekly shop every now and again, and encrourage them to save as much they can, but the idea of charging your kids like you would a tenant seems pretty bizarre to me. As far as I'm concerned they have as much right to live in the family home as the rest of the family. I guess it depends on your own financial situation, and how your request for 'rent' comes across. If there's any hint that you're looking at it as a way of cashing in on your kids growing up then you could forgive them for being a bit peed off.

Charge it, save it, give it back when they want to buy their own place.

Lovely idea that, in principle.

Except, by that time, it'd be like handing them 88p to put toward a new car.

Still doing education full time and I assume not tossing it off while doing it?
Don't charge.
Working for a living then yes take some. I got charged about a tenner a week and tried to pay more but wasn't allowed.
Moved out and bought a house 6 months after finishing my apprentichship when earning decent money.
Bought a washing machine a year or 2 after that ;0)

When and if she leaves home will she claim Housing benefit to pay the rent on her new place, because she will have no idea about rent otherwise.

My folks did the "charge it, save it, give it back" thing when I started work at 18. Did all the overtime I could and bought my first place at 21, moved in with a mattress on the floor and a garden chair to sit on.

Plus a fridge, a freezer, a microwave and a washing machine my mum had bought at staff discount rates using my saved rent money.

Knowing how kids (and mine will probably be the same in 7 years time...) like to spaff money on crap these days, we intend to charge 25% of take home pay and we'll save half for them. It's already been discussed. They know that at 18 they will be either working or studying, and we will not be keeping them indefinitely.

Edit - sorry, just read the OP properly. I didn't pay till I was out of education - summer and weekend jobs the money was mine till I left school and dropped out of poly.

If she really will waste all of her earnings then by all means take some as rent but make it clear you are saving it for her.

Absolutely normal! FWIW my 1st weeks pay was £7.26 (1972) & my Mum let me keep it! After that, I paid 'board'
My stepson however has a 'soft' Mum & he's only just started paying at the ripe old age of 27 after paying off his student loan/motorbike etc!
Get her contributing.

Once they stopped full time education yes they paid. Reality check. But only after they had finished education. Seemed reasonable. That was our house rules. Yours may be different

"Charge it, save it, give it back when they want to buy their own place."

This!

"All the usual luxuries (sky tv, unlimited mobile, unlimited internet etc)"

Maybe don't call it 'Rent'. No point being accused of acting like a profiteering slumlord, when you can just point out that they're contributing towards bills and food etc. Unless you're renting your house of course.

My sister in law is 31 and still lives at home rent free. The only bill she pays is her phone bill, she shares one of the cars so never puts diesel in it, basically drains everything and will burst into tears if someone tries to stand up to her as if the whole world is against her. Add to that the fact she's a bloody primary school teacher!
I say charge her board, I paid it and paid my own phone bill, even at 17 when I got one through my old mans work place. Also might be worth limiting her on her phone, even when I was only working 25 hours a week I paid my own bill so I had to make sure I'd put enough aside. Otherwise she'll get a massive shock when the time comes for her to have to fend for herself, I agree about saving some of it to give her when she moves out though. That's a good idea.

threaten to kick her out?

she'll soon pay up

Paying at least a token towards the family when they are using full facilities normally helps in reducing the problems of kids taking advantage. It depends on your financial situation if that pays for a takeaway or is actually paying bills.

(Not a parent but used to be a kid)

Or just ask her to pay for the broken laptop, phone and boiler while you were away last week. She did tell you all of those, right? 😉

Charge and the phone bill as well. I did. Whats the point of not calling it "rent", it wont instil any sort of responsibility calling it "savings". And, I'd also make sure she mows the bloody lawn as well.. (as long as she doesn't screw it up).

As with everything "it depends"

Do you need the money or it's a principle only?
What will she do with the money if you don't take it? Piss it up the wall of save it?

I'd be inclined to think that charging a 17yo rent as a principle is a bit petty but that's just a personal opinion.

Whats the point of not calling it "rent"

Because 'rent' is a financial transaction between two parties where the renter is profiting from the rentee. You really think it's a good thing to be seen to be profiting from your kids? I can't ever imagine a situation where I'll take money off my kids, even if I was down to my last penny. Teaching them financial responsibility and that nothing comes for free is one thing, but there are better ways of doing that than taking their hard earned cash off them if you don't really need it (it's a different matter if you do need it though).

Soon as I started my apprenticeship I had to pay £50 a week. In 1997 this was a fair whack when my 1 st year pay was £1.88/ hour!
Turns out they kept it and used it to pay for my rent when I later went to uni.
If my living costs were as cheap as that now I'd be over the moon!

Going back a few years now, I basically paid for sky tv, bt broadband + telephone and £100 a month to parents on each pay day. Worked out about 20% of my wages.

I was a bit grumpy at the time but in hindsight it was perfectly reasonable and I learnt to money manage better.

It soon motivated me to earn more also so I had more cash to spend on going out.

Bloke at work doesn't take anything from his 26 year old graduate son, he works every hour he possibly can never has any money to spare and drives a V plate Laguna.
His son has just bought himself brand new Mini Cooper! As a reward for getting a pay rise!
Takes all sorts.
I paid a third of my YTS "wage" and continued at a third of take home till I bought my own place at 23.
Different days now, can't imagine trying to save a deposit for a house on minimum wage etc.

if your kid has a hobby or two, how about encouraging him/her to save some money for that instead of paying rent?

When i was 17, i worked all summer in two jobs and sold kit on ebay on the side so i could get my first bike. That summer taught me to save up and be independent from my folks. It wasn't punitive and it rewarded me with a bike (and improved sense of my capabilities).

It was called 'board' back in my day and it was expected that once you started earning you'd contribute to the household (there were 4 of us kids).

Learning that you don't get something for nothing and also it costs just to live. Better get used to from the off! Plus the folks weren't well off anyways.

Over the years (what with going to uni later in life, the grand old age of 25 or 26!) I was in and out of the parental household. Always paid my way, as much as I thought was fair and reasonable. When I was saving for a deposit and I got a pay increase I always increased my board unasked...

Never bothered about it, my daughter costs a lot less to keep now she has finished uni and gone to work.
What does a few meals cost and youngsters have it hard enough these days, not out to make money from my own kid
Rather she invested in a decent pension so she can retire at a sensible age
She has never given us any grief and nice seeing her enjoy life whilst she is young

I wish my parents charged me "digs.

Was a spoiled only child growing up so figuring out how stuff was paid for shocked & ruined me for years.

However much it is, I'd like to think Ill be charging my kids a substantial amount of their income. Stick in savings for them.

You really don't learn about life until you have to choose food over rent and hope you get away with it until your next pay check!

When I was a kid many years ago living in the east end we really were broke, mum had to borrow my ten bob birthday money to buy grub for dinner. Sometimes down to our last half a crown for the gas meter and the foreign coin in the electric meter.
I knew exactly how much things cost when I went to work, but would hate my kid to ever live like that
So chuffed that she has got good qualifications and a professional job after working hard to achieve it, seeing her happy and relatively well off is more than enough recompense for me (she has to have enough cash to buy nice camera lenses which her poor old dad can then borrow)

Bloke at work doesn't take anything from his 26 year old graduate son, he works every hour he possibly can never has any money to spare and drives a V plate Laguna.
His son has just bought himself brand new Mini Cooper! As a reward for getting a pay rise!

I've seen this a few times. 'don't tell my Dad how much this cost me/saying I'm borrowing it whilst my mates abroad working'.

How do you think a young lad living at home in a small semi with his parents can insure and afford a Impreza/Clio sport/etc etc? The parents are scraping by. The kid is parasitical.

OP its not out of order to ask for a contribution. When your daughter was <16 she had no income. She now has an income. If she still thinks you are out of order then shes at fault. Not you.

I knew I was moving out at 18.

It was just "what happens".

I'd like to think I'll raise kids who can't wait to fly the nest and get out on their own!

I'd say it's unreasonable to get rent off a child you're still claiming child benefit for.

Because 'rent' is a financial transaction between two parties where the renter is profiting from the rentee.

Just because you charge Rent doesn't mean you are profiting from it. My folks didn't earn much and I was a growing lad (having left school) and eating like a horse as well. It was only fair. If I didn't my parents would have struggled even more.

ebygomm - Member

I'd say it's unreasonable to get rent off a child you're still claiming child benefit for.

The majority of the cases above are about kids having left full time education (or over 18), in which case child benefit no longer applies.

When I was a kid many years ago living in the east end we really were broke, mum had to borrow my ten bob birthday money to buy grub for dinner. Sometimes down to our last half a crown for the gas meter and the foreign coin in the electric meter

I have a sepia-picture image of you in bare feet, on cobbled streets with women in long overdresses and bonnets.

Sometimes down to our last half a crown for the gas meter and the foreign coin in the electric meter.

Half a crown! Bloody Luxury, when I were a lad we had to get up at half past three, four hours before we'd been to bed, work 37 hour shift down pit and all for a lump of coal. Kids these days....

Part of growing up innit. I thought they taught financial capapbility these days? Whether you save it for her or spend it on caviar to gorge on while she's picking at her mealy grubs and cous cous you're doing her the favour of knowing what stuff costs.

The range of attitudes on here is very interesting. Personally I would never charge my kids rent and would give them everything I had. But that is my choice, you all stick to your own choices.

Never charged them "rent" as such but once out of education & earning made sure they contributed to their share of bills etc by charging them a weekly amount - single parent but well enough paid to help them out when necessary now they have moved out, but then again I've always liked to teach them financial independence from an early age - used to give them the child benefit but they had to but their own clothes for example - soon weaned them off expensive trainers 😉

you all stick to your own choices

We will, thanks.

The range of attitudes on here is very interesting

Yes, there is a polarisation, but the vast majority are saying "charge board" and I'd completely agree.

My eldest is an apprentice, he gets charged £140 per month to live at home.
Mrs E-T and I are both in good jobs, so we certainly don't NEED the money but he certainly NEEDED to take responsibility for his own cash flow, savings and general budget management.
If he wants a car or mobile, then that's for him to fund. Bank of dad does make interest free loans to help him avoid interest charges on car insurance or big purchases, but he needs to explain his business case for each, demonstrating that he's considered how much interest he's avoiding paying and that he can afford the repayments he proposes.

He might get some or all of his "board" back as a lump sum when he buys a house, and for which he is thankfully starting to plan... But he doesn't know that yet and it'll be entirely dependent on how far he cooperates with the smooth running of the household between now and then.

Like most things it's all dependent asking a vauge" would you charge" will give you most peoples answer.

For most its a case of your offspring earnnig and being at home when you still have a considerable mortgauge and household bills etc a contribution to the household woud be a normal thing. it's not like your asking them to pay it all!

I do know of instances where offspring have paid nothing to parents but spent freely on hlidays and must haves while the parents not nessasarily suffer but certaily dont have a "money worry" free time.

It was called "dig money" when I was growing up.

When studying I got a free ride, when working I paid dig money. Seemed completely fair at the time and entirely the norm.

Are [s]children[/s] young adults these days unique special flowers now that can't contribute some of their earnings to the family houshold?

the [b]vast majority are saying "charge board"[/b] and I'd completely agree.

[i] Personally I would never charge my kids rent and would give them everything I had.[/i]

Will you adopt me?

No, dont charge her rent yet. Tell her however to enjoy the money because when she becomes, in the eyes of the law, an adult at 18 she will have to. It should be proportionate to her take home obviously. I was very fortunate with my parents and due to being in full time education, having a part time job that paid next to nothing and living at home til 21 I paid no rent as a teenager until I moved back in at 25. Then I paid a solid £200 a month regardless of my take home and was more than happy to do so. It barely covered my share of food, water and electricity!

I believe kids need a bit of freedom with money to learn the value of it however paying bills is just that. How do they think they will live outside the family home? Its not the amount, its the principal. I have mates who have to pay a considerable amount of rent due to their parents struggling with bills and that is an unfortunate situation. Once they live out once it will change their view of money.

I also believe being open with your kids is sensible. My mum is more than happy to talk finances but my dad is against my brother and I knowing how much they earn, how much the bills are etc. Even now at 28 and living on my own he wont discuss anything financial! I think if shes sensible, sit her down with a break down of the bills. Once she knows how much things actually cost she may be more willing to give up her hard earned money to help out.

Does this validate you then?

Eh?
You suggested that the "range" was interesting.
I suggested that the weighting of the distribution within that range was significant too.

I wouldn't charge anything until graduated. If at home after that then must contribute even if not earning - though the amount would just cover food/energy costs if no income. If earning then like the idea of some rent but giving that back to help with a property deposit.

What happens if they want a 'friend' round?!!

For this reason alone I can't get my head round why any normal teen or 20'something would want to live with their parents.

Abit Peter Pan'ish at best. Weird. A couple of houses on our street have 20'somethings living with their parents. I view them as abit weird. Forget the 'I'm saving for my deposit' stuff. I rented and saved.

When I lived at home (nearly 30 years ago) we contributed the same for when working as if signed-on. I was earning £100pw and my brother £21pw dole. We both paid £10pw.

"Work pays", was the message.

My folks didn't need the money BTW.

I've 3 kids and have treated them all differently, because they are different. The eldest two work, with one doing an apprenticeship away from home and not actually earning enough money to live (we and my ex-wife help him out). The older one has a house and is fine.

My youngest is still at school.

Different though if you need the money.

Wow!

Loads of replies!!

OK, after sleeping on it she has decided that some contribution does seem to make sense! This was only ever to be while she has full time hours, income of about £200 per week!

September, when college resumes, or if she doesn't earn in a week due to other commitments, nothing to pay!

As far as the money is concerned, yes, it will help! We are not in a great place, but can survive without it. And, to be fair, it will probably only cover the cost in fuel of taking her to and from work when there are no busses, and going to check out what uni she's going to in 2015!

And if she didn't pay, she would just get the latest iPhone she wants (@£600!) quicker....

Was never charged, but I left when I was 19 and never really went back.

Would I charge my daughter when she's that age? I don't know, but I do know I'll give her a better financial education than I received.

Even now at 28 and living on my own he wont discuss anything financial!

My dad is very open with his finances. He tells me how much he's in debt, and then asks if I can afford to bail him out if the worst happens 😯

My dad was delighted to tell me how his pensions amount to more than my wage 😕

Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Malaysian and Filipino kids are ridiculously hard working.

They also never ever pay rent to their parents and if they have to, their parents consider themselves to have failed their children.

Funny that. Maybe youngsters work hard and follow your lead if they actually respect you, as opposed to having to learn about "reality" whatever that is. The reality is probably more that your children are going to have to pay for all the aging old ****s in this country and helping them to move out as opposed to reducing their earnings might actually be far better in terms of your own interests when you need money at 75 for a medical treatment that is no longer covered by the NHS (if it exists).

There's your answer - move to the Philipines

For this reason alone I can't get my head round why any normal teen or 20'something would want to live with their parents.

This. Maybe some losers don't want to but the only thing stopping most 19 year olds moving out is cost.

I'd rather I subsidised (for a set amount of time) my kids to leave the house so they learnt to stand on their own two feet. That's much harder than covering 200 quid of rent a month and having your mum/dad still cooking you family meals.

Surely if they're still students living at home during the holidays is normal?

At the end of my first year at university I needed about 200 more quid to get me through 1 month, until I got my first paycheck from a new job. My room was paid for, for the next couple of months.

Asked parents for money, the answer was "We're not giving you money to doss around at uni for the summer, we've got a job for you here and you can pay us rent".

Idiots.

Then they complained about me coming back each summer and mooching off them. Oh the hilarity.

Depends on the child at this age. If you think she'd benefit from a life lesson on ecconomics then charge her, if you think she's going to piss all the money away before getting to uni then charge her.

If she is sensible then let her have the luxury of her money. 🙂

In general, I'd say charge her.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.^^

When I was on the child side of this equation I had to pay board as soon as I stopped being eligible for child benefit. Never got any of it back.

I think what I will do when mine are old enough is charge it, either on a %age of income basis, or on an extra costs incurred (ie extra food required, no council tax discount) basis. Then when they leave home at say 24 or 25 I will give them the opportunity to win it back if they can beat me in an olympic triathlon. Hopefully this will give them a sense of responsibility rather than a "right" to things, and a love for exercise in their 20's

I went to Uni a month after I turned 18 and haven't really lived at home since.

However, if I ever needed to live back with parents for whatever reason I would certainly offer to pay towards the upkeep of the house. I'm now 31 though so not exactly 'young'!

I offered to pay my way when I moved back home after finishing Uni and getting a full time job. Parents did not force me or give hints, I just thought it was the correct thing to do.

My older brother who was also living at home was proper annoyed as he was forced to pay his way too ...

Horribly capitalist idea.
At what point did children file an application asking to be born?
Oh that's right, never.
Look after them like you're supposed to instead of acting like government in the house.

I pay £150 a month not (alot i know) but i also buy 90% of food and drink for 4 adults and take my parents out for a meal once a month. I worked out id be better off in my own place but I havnt got a deposit yet.

6079smithw - Member

Horribly capitalist idea.
At what point did children file an application asking to be born?
Oh that's right, never.
Look after them like you're supposed to instead of acting like government in the house.

I think most 16/17 year olds will class themselves as young adults and want to be treated as such. If they are over 18 they are an adult (though they never stop being somones child) and working working then the goverment is taxing them and giving them the chance to vote (or not if they can't be arsed).

I certainly wouldnt call it a horribly capatalist idea - my dad used to give all his wages to his mum in the 60's and she gave hm back a few shillings from his £7 weekly wage - Disgusting. Even worse my parents paid for and bough my garndparents house for them before even ebing able to afford their own place (all maggies fault!) how outragous of may grandparents to accept that!

I pay £150 a month not (alot i know) but i also buy 90% of food and drink for 4 adults and take my parents out for a meal once a month. I worked out id be better off in my own place but I havnt got a deposit yet.

Which is keeping you helpless and unable to move out and on with your life.

Well done to your parents. If they skipped on a few months of rent you'd have enough for a deposit on a room in no time and then you'd be out of their hair permanently.

So many parents appear to cut their noses off to spite their faces.

Although, maybe I'm just a c-word.

Look after them like you're supposed to instead of acting like government in the house.

I'd best ring my dad - see if he fancies covering all my household outgoings. I'm 36...

We never charged any of ours rent/housekeeping. We stopped giving them an allowance/pocket money quite early and they kept what they earnt. Our middle daughter worked hard to save £5k for 2 major travel trips, inc full time for 6 months but as she was saving we didn't ask for anything from her.

With 3 kinds who went to Uni charging them housekeeping is a bit pointless when they will need help to get through Uni. We always paid their mobile phone contracts as with daughters we saw it as a safety measure, the tried PAYG for a very brief while and they would end up out on a Sat night with no credit, as a parent you wouldn't forgive yourself if something happened to them and they didn't have the money for a call.

OP if its a temporary summer job I would just have a word and see that some is saved, otherwise I'd use the housekeeping as suggested above, you keep it then give it back at some stage in the future.

no teenager/ young adult is ever going to be happy about having to suddenly pay for what they have had for free all their life.
It is a tough and unpleasant life lesson to be learnt. They either learn it at your hand or the hand of a landlord.

I dont think i would have someone on FT wages paying nothing unless they were saving for Uni or some such personally.
Even they you are still subbing them

Horribly capitalist idea.

At what point did children file an application asking to be born?
Oh that's right, never.

Look after them like you're supposed to instead of acting like government in the house.