[Closed] Changing as a person (becoming bitter, angry and jealous)...

The thing is I know in reality we do alright as a family (wife, daughter and myself) and most people would strive for our life. We both work, live in a nice area, we can pay the bills and spend a little, we have some goods times and we have our health.

Just remember that and you won't go far wrong. Oh, and get some different friends maybe? 🙂

And this maybe?

http://bemindful.co.uk/

Yoga. Not a glib comment, yoga is more than just stretching muscles.

Many religions, or similar may well do the same.

Cognitive therapy of some form, have potential to do the same.

My vote goes for yoga, not only get the mental benefits, you also get to stretch beyond belief, relax completely, all in the company of hot women!

You mentioned it in your post MM

I am on minimum wage, work 50+ hours a week, doing two jobs, just to keep my head above water, but I would not swap my life at the moment for any of my friends who are considerably better off than me, but some of them are deep down, bitterly unhappy with their life.

Some have even said they would like to do the work I do, just to get out of the rat race they are in.

Focus on this:

The thing is I know in reality we do alright as a family (wife, daughter and myself) and most people would strive for our life. We both work, live in a nice area, we can pay the bills and spend a little, we have some goods times and we have our health

I presume you mountain bike so you already have the tools required for complete relaxation and general health.
As for your friends - there's always someone 'better' off than you however much money you have. I'm always skint but I have a healthy, loving family and feel like the richest man on the planet (however trite that may sound, it's how I feel).

Buy a nice bike. Ride it on nice trails.

Set a personal goal and work towards it.

Try and avoid stressful situations.

(I've been in your place or something very similar. It passes. Don't be old and bitter, one is inevitable, the other avoidable)

christ that be mindful website has given me a bloody headache! what the hell is with THAT BLOODY COLOURSCHEME AND THE FONT AND THE NAVIGATION FORTHELOVEOFGODWHYY1!?!?

I have become a bitterly twisted individual.
I'm nice most of the time but I can be a right bastard for no reason.
This is mainly due to suffering from manic depression.
Pills, therapy and doctors help but I'm far from fixed.
OP go to your GP to see if you have any problems.

I seem to be in constant state of tension! I create arguments in my head with people (but would never follow them through).

I do that a lot. Seems something in my inner psyche is always looking for a [s]fight/argument[/s] conflict even if I'm not. It's been way more subdued since I've been on SSRIs, but it used to be pretty bad.

No idea what causes it and I did wonder if anyone else was like this....

How's your diet?
Try and cut out the crap and drink more.

A few thoughts:
1. Fair play for admitting publicly you have a problem. That's half the problem solved already
2. You're not alone. Lots of people are angry at the moment - the credit crunch was a real shock to the system.
3. Anger's a very destructive emotion if not dealt with
4. There's huge amounts of support and solutions out there, you just need to find the one which works for you. I'd recommend looking at:

a) Therapy. Go and have a chat with your GP and see what they say. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel from sharing it
b) plus 1 for yoga - do a class - you'll realise a lot of people need a little help with the stresses and strains of life.
c) meditation can be useful [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/0749925485/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383656852&sr=1-1&keywords=john+kabat+zinn ]John Kabat Zinn[/url]
d) focus on eating well, sleeping enough, regular exercise and spending time with people who you feel happy with.
Good luck

I occasionally struggle with this and am always reminding myself 'enjoy the ride'.

Besides I'd pick camping over any holiday!

On a side note - Why not say in these conversations that you've totally got the bigger wang so why don't you all just STFU?

Do you suffer from depression or Bi-Polar?

It may help to talk to someone, and I don't mean here. Why not go and see a therapist. There's no shame in it, and it may do you a lot of good just to talk to someone who you don't know face to face.

What about a way to channel and release that tension/anger - learn a martial art or box/kickbox maybe?

Yoga is a good shout too.

You can obviously identify when you have these feelings, so try and be positive in these situations, smile and genuinely try to be cheery/happy. It doesn't always come naturally, sometimes you have to work at it.

you have had two weeks of holidays. i hate you.

always someone better off, most often if you dig a little you will find they arnt as well off as you imagine, be that financially, spiritually, physically....

what about spend the next 30minutes looking into life in central africa and im not talking about the beneficiaries of life there. That should sober you up and stop your moaning.

what do you wanna be rich for anyway.

The thing is, you don't know if your friends might be funding their lifestyles through debt. Or if they really are truly happy with their lives, you never know what's behind closed doors.

What would their lives look like without the money, the fancy holidays etc? What would happen if something meant their income was reduced, how would they cope with a change in status. Would their relationships and ties survive?

My dad was on £80k a year and he's now been struck down with a serious illness. He won't work again, and is having to take early retirement on ill health grounds. He is really struggling with the loss of identity and status, as well as the income side of it. Just a year ago, he was at the top of his profession, taking holidays twice a year in nice places, travelling for work, and was known in his field. But all of the high falutin people he used to go around with - have they bothered with him now he's poorly? Have they heck.

Money and status matters very little compared to finding out who will stick around when the chips are down.

If its any consolation to the OP, Im of a similar mindset at the moment.
My family have an ok life, we cant afford holidays, are unable to save anything for a rainy day.
I work full time, OH works a few hours a week. We have no debts at all, certainly we dont crave materialistic things or have and excessive lifestyle, but Im just feeling massively frustrated that we can't seem to move forward financially, whilst others we know seem to able to afford meals out every week, trips to concerts etc etc, whilst on similar income to us.
Im just fed up of struggling from month to month never moving forwards. Now christmas is coming im stessing about paying for that too.
I think part of it is my age (41) and im a grumpy git anyway.
I think Im paying too much attention to what I haven't got rather than what I have.

Re other people's lives, I wouldn't assume anything about how they feel about their own lives.
Plus - use of overdrafts and credit cards is on the increase again after slowing down since 2008. Your answer to other people's apparent wealth is probably right there.
You'd have thought we'd learnt something about avoiding debt in 2008, but apparently not 😯

Some of this rings true with me. Not so much the jealousy bit, but I've definitely noticed I'm getting angrier more often. My "normal" state is definitely not as nice a place to be as it once was. What I really notice is that I "need" holidays more than I used to and small inconsequential things irritate me more than they ever should. Being able to enjoy family time without the pressure of work is more important to me now than it has ever been. I've always loved holidays of course, but I never used to dread them ending as much as I do now.

I got 30 on that stress test 🙁

Sounds like a typical mid-life crisis TBH. It'll pass.

It'll pass.

I've had - and sold - my meno-Porsche. Does that mean I'm coming out the other side?? <fingers crossed> 🙂

I've had - and sold - my meno-Porsche.

🙂

Depends what you replaced it with!

I'd rather not say, but let's just say it's more becoming of a mountain-biking family man 😳 😆

Mind fullness!
Get yourself on a 10 day Vipassana course.
It will teach you to see your anger before it becomes you.
Tough course and not easy to complete,but if you stick it out,it will give you a new perspective on life and a good insight into discovering your complete self.

Sounds to me like you need to go on a killing spree. Can you procure any fully automatic weaponry?

MM - from your posts over the years you've had some ups and downs but as others have said, you are doing Ok as a family, but some of this is a stage of life - I'm 44 and seem to have a similar disconnect with some of our friends who have foreign holidays and the high life.

A lot of them are stressed, in debt, and have hardly any time with their kids. There's a reason I've chosen the life I have, the grass isn't greener.

And when you are having a bad day, just think - at least you don't have an Ilkeston postcode!

Channel that anger and enter a UFC tournament in your spare time to generate a bit more cash. But not too much cash, as the anger will the subside and you will then get your ass kicked at UFC. It's all about balance.

I got 8 on that test... dunno what that means but to be honest i'm mellowing with age, I'm not so sure what my score would have been 10 years ago though ( company in administration etc etc). I think sometimes you do need to sit back and realise that comparing yourself to other people is a bit of a pointless exercise.

I went to the GP for help because I was feeling particularly stressed just after our 2nd child was born. We don't get any help from family (live too far away) and I also have a pretty nasty stomach condition.

My GP told me to either :

a) get more exercise (part of the problem with having a 2nd child is lack of time to do anything on my own which was part of the reason I was feeling anxious / stressed / angry)
b) She recommended therapy / counselling - but could only get me to start 2 weeks from when I saw her. Then it would take a few weeks to see any benefit from that.

Thanks for the help doc... useless **^^*^&*^E$%.

So, I got myself some torches and started doing night rides. Not quite enough exercise to make a difference... but it has helped a little.

Get a punchbag set up somewhere where you can be alone.
Punch and kick the crap out of it when you feel angry.
This helps me.
If it helps put someones face on it you dont like.
Get yourself checked out.
Go for a blood test. Ask for full bloods.
If your thyroid is not working properly this could be why you're so low.

it's illegal but so so good. It grows naturally all over the world and it is coloured green. Get some. always helps me get objective about problems and to de stress. Combine it with MTBing and tunes and you have the perfect relaxation therapy.

Jekkyl, really not a good idea.
mental health issues and weed are like mixing electricity and water.

the-muffin-man I recently found out one of my bestmates from years ago has done really really well for himself- way beyond my wildest dreams. My first thoughts (and comments) were of pride to know him. My second was to ask which cars he liked the best (out of the many hes owned- inc 911's/NSX etc)

I know of good people who have had it all be struck down by tragedy or illness. It kinda grounds you as you think why the **** did it happen to them? Everything swings every direction. Feel blessed to have your family, your friends and your health. Some good people have these taken away from them. As a society we are told through many marketing channels that 'better is the target'. Is it? Sorry I don't think so. I know people with big houses on huge mortgage repayments, I know people who will never tell you how much they are worth and it'd shock you.

it's illegal but so so good. It grows naturally all over the world and it is coloured green. Get some. always helps me get objective about problems and to de stress.

Since when did MDMA grow naturally?

Weed does the job of chilling you out for sure. But it's still a band-aid.

+1 for yoga. I've been at it for about two years. It's entirely changed my life, for the good. I used to have serious problems with anxiety, stress etc. Not any more.

I am on minimum wage, work 50+ hours a week, doing two jobs, just to keep my head above water, but I would not swap my life at the moment for any of my friends who are considerably better off than me, but some of them are deep down, bitterly unhappy with their life.

^^^^^^ this same boat...i know one guy who would jump off a cliff if he didnt have money to go out and impress his friends with

me im happy 99.9% of the time i get to spend it with my kid, sure we might have to scrape the £5.10p together to go swimming some weeks but hey the little things cancel out negative thoughts

if your going to get angry i suggest vigilantiism (and yes im being serious) to get out your system just be careful you dont get caught pummelling the face in of some scrote who just robbed a little old dear
is a reason to get angry

Take up cage fighting.

You're not alone OP. I'm 41 and feel the same sometimes, lots of wealthy friends who seem to be enjoying the high life. There's nothing you can do about it though so as hard as it is you need to accept it for what it is.

With my circle of friends other than those few who have done exceptionally well I think all those who are better off than us (financially) have had help of some sort from wealthy relatives. Seems a bit unkind (but certainly isn't meant to be) but I bring myself back down to earth by thinking about all my friends in a similar or worse (financial) situation than us.

Can you get away, just the wife and you, for a dirty weekend somewhere? Leave the kid with someone? A bit of space and release from your responsibilities every now and then is never a bad idea, doesn't need to be that expensive.

As someone who's been in the same boat for a few years now, I would say go speak to your doctor. I've had depression and anxiety and this sounds like similar symptoms.

Saying that, I also believe that something has shifted in the past few years and people feel the need to bang on constantly about everything they've done or are going to do like life is some sort of Facebook and people need to be constantly updated in the latest bollocks that they've seen or done.

I also get the financial stagnation. I'm like that, stuck in a job that doesn't really make me that happy while everyone around me seems to be getting on and going further with minimal effort. Trouble is, that has a knock on effect with everyone else thinking they have to shout louder and constantly get noticed - things like that get pretty infuriating after a while.

Anyway - I would suggest the doctors and counselling, it's what I'm doing at the moment and even though day to day doesn't seem to be getting any better, it's nice having someone to listen to you

Same as Ski.

Is the thought of not being able to compete on a financial level creating a certain level of anxiety and self doubt?

You need to listen to your self and take your own tips on board and repeat them 🙂

"The thing is I know in reality we do alright as a family (wife, daughter and myself) and most people would strive for our life. We both work, live in a nice area, we can pay the bills and spend a little, we have some goods times and we have our health."

Concentrate on you and your family for a while and pay attention to the little details and capture them. Don't imagine the end result of anything.

The issue is when we're down we listen to the bad thoughts and habits are hard to break. They can be broken it just takes time.

This helped me: http://fortysixty.org/

Try some of the life coaching stuff, eg being thankful for what you have, not just materially. Sounds trite but it can work.

Otherwise, it sounds like you don't actually like your friends much, work out why and change it/them.

We hate it when our friends become successful. Oh, look at those clothes. Oh, look at that hair.

It should have been me...

saw this on facebook earlier

We need to strengthen such inner values as contentment, patience and tolerance, as well as compassion for others. Keeping in mind that it is expressions of affection rather than money and power that attract real friends, compassion is the key to ensuring our own well-being. Dalai Lama

We hate it when our friends become successful. Oh, look at those clothes. Oh, look at that hair.

It should have been me...

Then you aren't a true friend. You should feel proud, slightly jealous maybe but in no- way hate it.

Saying that, I also believe that something has shifted in the past few years and people feel the need to bang on constantly about everything they've done or are going

^^^^ This. Every family gathering all my family and their spouses go on about how fantastic they've done and how wonderful their lives are. Then sometimes you find out sadly it just ain't so. Myself and my wife like to keep very quiet about what we have achieved. It seems that people don't really care to listen and just want to show how wonderful their lives are.

OP - sounds like you have a great family life. You are very lucky.

Thanks for all the responses so far, seems to be some great advice. I'll have a proper trawl through when I get home.

OP - sounds like you have a great family life. You are very lucky.

In our home, then yes - the wife (we have our moments though!), daughter and me are fine.

My brother - not spoken to him since our family firm closed 5 years ago.

My sister - we rarely talk. She lives 2 hours a way. She's massively overweight (which is not a problem in itself, but she's just adopted a child and we feel she is not being fair on him by slowly killing herself), she flits from job to job, sponges of my mum and dad (as she runs up catalogue debts unknown to her husband).

The wifes older sister - no-one in the family has anything to do with her.

The wifes younger sister - has gone through a nasty divorce. Has 3 kids that she didn't really want and although she doesn't treat them badly she's more interested in herself. This angers my wife as we went through an awful lot to have 1 child.

So op, just look after those you care about. F@@ck the rest.
It sounds like you will do just fine.
Go to your gp mind just for your own peace of mind.

hora - Member

Then you aren't a true friend. You should

[img] [/img]

Whooosh...

Make that change! - I felt very similar to yourself last year and had been diagnosed with anxiety resulting from my employment at the time. Running a retail outlet single-handedly with very little in the way of support and even less resources, having to lie to customers/suppliers etc - whilst still being expected to appear 'normal'. Realised I was no longer providing the service I was being paid to (unfair on my employer) and also becoming a bitter person (unfair on myself and family unit). I took stock & listened to the advice of friends and family and left my employment (which I should have done a long time before in hinesight) and setup independantly. Im now loving life again, have had my love of all things bike relit and extremely positive for the future! Always be thankfull for what you have rather than what you dont have is good advice

Or alternatively, kill all your friends, steal their money and live happily ever after (until they catch you that is).

and I don't want to be!

I remember that feeling... was standing in the shower fuming at loads of stupid stuff... and thought I can't go on like this it's no good for me or (actaully more importantly at the time) those close to me.

So

How many psychiatrist does it take to change a light bulb?

It doesn't matter... the light bulb has got to want to change.

A joke told by a vicar ... another very good resource for making positive change in your life/mindset.

You can find the peace you are after but you have to look for it.

Good luck

Can I recommend reading a short book, which has helped me (I'm very much a glass half empty person). Its The Power of Accepting Yourself by Micheal Cohen - currently on Amazon for £2.49.

Its short, concise and to the point and very helpful. In fact, I'm currently in a similar position to you having experienced the opulent signs successful Sales colleagues who don't have to pay nursery fees and are receiving enough commission to pay off the majority of their mortgages this month, so I shall be reading it again to help calm my bitterness.

The other thing that REALLY helps me, is rare moments of "me" time. I've found turning off all technology for the night, or sitting in a steaming hot bath in a hotel for 45 minutes undisturbed is sheer bliss for my overwhelmed anxiety ridden brain.

Follow my lead, come on here, run people down for piss poor spelling/grammar or just general ignorance, take the higher morale ground, and get a sound nights sleep surrounded by an air of superiority on a flea & mite infested second hand bed.

Thanks Kryton I'll give that book a try - but it's only at £2.49 for Kindle, £8+ for a proper version (grumpy now - grrrrr!) 🙂

was standing in the shower fuming at loads of stupid stuff.

Funny you should say that, it often seems to be in the shower I look at life with the 'right' perspective.

I just think it is such a luxury, not only do I have taps that spew out as much clean water as I could ever drink, I also have one which spews forth hot water at a perfect thermostatically set temperature, and I can afford the bill to heat it with no problem.
And when I flush the bog, my jobby disappears forever instead of lurking outside on the street somewhere.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love a Rangerover and a modest plane (to fly from my modest private airstrip) but the simple pleasures are the best.

Tuckeruk

Follow my lead, come on here, run people down for piss poor spelling/grammar or just general ignorance, take the higher morale ground,

Thank you so much for this.

OP - my brother in law is the big man, at every opportunity flashing the money around, if not spending (or already spent) it's telling everyone about all the other things he is getting.

Then last year on a family holiday (paid in part by his mum and dad - so I suggested we all clubbed together to buy them a thank you surprise) that he said he couldn't afford it. I was just suggesting £50 or so and he'd just bought an iPad that same day). And he works away almost all the time, barely seeing his kids.

So what I am saying is that in order to give a vaneer of financial bliss, sometimes people are just selfish, broke and spending their time doing things they can only regret as their life marches on.

Enjoy your family and don't worry about how 'successful' others appear to be.

I have a great life and consider myself happy but everyone else says i am angry - i think i maybe turning into an grump old man - too angry about current affairs, state of the nation, other (stupid) people, cynical, everything is rubbish etc etc. apparently it occurs in middle age!

We went camping for a week by Lake Michigan in blazing sunshine, it was great.

We also went for a week to Pembrokeshire in April in our 20 year old caravan. It was freezing. It was also great 🙂

Family made it great both times.

I went the other way when my kids were born. I always look for good in people first and give folk the benefit of the doubt. Not got much money, but hey, children have died around the world today because of war, dirty drinking water and starvation. I'm glad for what I have, not bothered what others have got. Always find mountain biking blows the troubles away. 🙂

Follow my lead, come on here, run people down for piss poor spelling/grammar or just general ignorance, take the higher morale ground, and get a sound nights sleep surrounded by an air of superiority on a flea & mite infested second hand bed

Moral.

Oh and your use of punctuation is poor!

HTH

To OP I think I am always surrounded by maggots but then I have learned to let them go by not thinking too much about them.

I think you should try not to make comparison as that will only make things worst for you. Not them. You! So why put pressure on yourself.

Maggots I step on you!

😈

http://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Meet-Buddha-Road-Kill/dp/0553278320

frazchops - Member

http://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Meet-Buddha-Road-Kill/dp/0553278320

The title of that book should be if you meet Buddha and Sheldon Kopp (the author) who should you kill?

Answer: Sheldon Kopp, the author, of course.

Very simple. The probability of you meeting Buddha is negligible but the probability of meeting the author is very high so kill him instead. There you are cured.

😈

This world is so insane that there would be something wrong if you were completely happy with everything and never got angry.

Forget all that keeping up with the Jones' stuff. Material wealth is fleeting. The only thing that leaves a legacy is kindness.

I still want that ltd edition Surly fat bike though.

Anyway, some people don't even get to ride bikes or post on STW.
[i][b]Well tonight thank god it's them instead of yoooooooooooouuuuuuu[/b][/i]

Haha excellent, I love a bit of the ultra violence me!

Can relate to this. I hate everybody who has a nicer house, car or bike than me. Which is basically most of my neighbours and this whole forum. You, out there, with your perfect, Audi-driving, Waitrose-shopping, woodburner-boasting, Swinley-mincing, what-tyres-for-Whistler lives. None of you deserves or appreciates the things I don't have as much as I do.

I realise there are others among you who are busy being bereaved, made redundant, and coping stoically with illness and injury, but while I commiserate to an extent, I don't notice you so much when I'm under my own wee cloud.

[img] http://steelydave.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a5f56aa0970c013488924df5970c-pi [/img]

That's a snapshot of the inside of my head if I let myself stagnate on the office/couch/junk food/bevvy/staying-up-late axis for any length of time. No doubt preaching to the converted here but that kind of slough of despond is somewhere I can end up pretty rapidly if I don't get out on my bike fairly regularly. That and taking the dogs for good long walks. And making an effort to charm the pants off 'er indoors every once in a while. It's amazing the positive difference these simple, everyday pleasures can make to one's state of mental wellbeing.

I can relate totally to those feelings

I'm very tired and frustrated with being constantly skint.

I did higher education, colleges and universities to try and end up with a decent job

My younger brother who went straight into work is much better off

I, however don't have a family, and you seem to recognise that they are the world to you, so focus on the positives

And like others have said, you're half way there admitting these feelings to yourself

The talk is always about weeks away in Indian, Florida, France, Skiing etc. - we had 6 days in a tent in Norfolk and a week with the mother-in-law!

What do you actualy want to do in Florida? Humid and full of fat retired Americans.

my missus grew up on Spanish all inclusives which bore me to tears! I've now reconsiddered my childhood and decided I was spoilt by wet camping hollidays and now can no longer function in normal society when forced to spend 2 weeks in a sunny prison/resort!

The trick with all-inclusives, and assuming you can afford it, is to take up (scuba) diving. It's kept me sane for a number of years now.

I think many people have this to a greater or lesser degree - it's the way we've been taught to think in a capitalist society - we must compete and win and show off. Most of us in this country are incredibly lucky - yet we are taught to always feel dissatisfied and look jealously at the next man.

There are many places around the world where people are materially much poorer but also much happier, and it's largely because of a relative lack of materialism, IMO.

I'm sure capitalism is steadily getting it's hooks into those people too though. 🙁

As a side note: Grew up on Spanish all inclusives. Blimey some people don't know how lucky they are. I didn't go on foreign holidays.

I think as a (UK) society we all seem to be in competition with our friends (passive) and our neighbours.

I've not been on a foreign holiday since 2009. It doesn't bother me. I also drive a tiny car with a tiny engine. Who cares?

OP, seriously get a ****ing grip. When your dick stops working and you have to have heart pills as you've stressed yourself into a corner- then you are welcome to hate everyone and life.

Hora,
Become a social worker. You're a natural

Grass is always greener syndrome. The obsession with other peoples' wealth and lifestyle. Thing is, you don't really know what goes on in other peoples' lives, very often, and you don't see the 'difficulties', issues and pressures they have to deal with. Quite often, the real picture isn't quite as idyllic as it may seem; you see people socially, when they're presenting their best image. They're still fallible human beings at the end of the day.

Our neighbours earn silly money. Both work in the City, for large corporations. Lovely house, lots of 'toys', etc. Very enviable to some, I'm sure. But both work stupidly long hours, have to give up weekends at the drop of a hat, or fly away for several days at a time, so rarely have time to spend together. The woman was recently mugged, and on reaching home, 'phoned her husband. He couldn't speak to her as he was in a meeting (this is gone 7pm). Worse, he wasn't even in the country. She's 4 months pregnant (I'm amazed they actually found the time to do that!). Her company have basically told her unless she comes back to work asap after the birth, and 'carefully considers her child-care arrangements', as well as more or less having to job share with another currently pregnant woman (so a hefty cut in hours), she won't have a job. Nice. So basically, for all the money they currently earn (no guarantees they will still have jobs even in 6 months, and they could both lose their jobs at any time), for all the gloss and sheen, their current lifestyle isn't all that marvellous. They envy us because we can take nice holidays, have frequent long weekends away, or even just go for a nice bike ride of a Sunday afternoon.

Sometimes, no; very often, less is more.

I know that for great swathes of the population it's the norm, but where I am in the social strata this sort of competitive behaviour is treated with suspicion as the exhibitor will usually have some deep underlying psychological issues..

At the end of the day, The cars, the money, the big houses and all that - its all just 'stuff'. We've just been told endlessly the capitalist consumer message that its important, but its not. Its just 'stuff'. And no matter what position you think you're in, due to the insecure nature of employment etc, you could go from having it all, to losing the lot in an alarmingly quick timeframe.

So its best to see it for what it is - stuff - and concentrate on the important things instead