[Closed] caravans... Clarkson can **** off!!

Awful bloody things.

Brilliant things. Good one AA 🙂

Agreed. Why not stay in a nice pub or B&B instead? Or,if you must camp, a tent?

Never understood caravans. Don't want to try to.

Pub or b&b's cost more, as for camping I'm too old!!

You dont even pay road tax for them..

Where's the rest of it?

Someone seems to have stolen the back of it?

Cost more? Dare I ask how many weekends away your ballast cost? Please factor in fuel, storage, insurance etc. I'll allow you to overlook the annoyance factor and that you're going to end up on a caravan site with the sort of people who frequent such establishments.

Caravans are free these days?

£500 quid

Why not stay in a nice pub or B&B instead?

You don't get to bring or cook your own food, and you don't get to bring your own stuff either. You can't make a brew whenever you want, and after your day out you don't get to sit outside in the middle of nowhere watching the evening draw on whislt your kids play unhindered in a massive field with their new holiday friends.

What do you do in a B&B? Watch TV? I've stayed in plenty of shit B&Bs and ended up having to eat shit food, when I'd much rather barbecue my own food out in the sunshine.

Or,if you must camp, a tent?

Caravans have all the advantages of tents but none of the disadvantages - no cold flappy noisy canvas and you don't have to sleep on the floor... or pick grass out of your breakfast cereal.

Is that the one with the rear door and the side dinette that folds up to store bikes? Like that a lot.

Are you towing it with a yaris?

It is a tiddler bregante!!

You don't get to bring or cook your own food, and you don't get to bring your own stuff either.

Win win!

ou don't get to sit outside in the middle of nowhere watching the evening draw on whislt your kids play unhindered in a massive field with their new holiday friends.

Yeah you can.

Mattbee yeah and the side door you can see opens into a wet store/ bog

It is a tiddler bregante!!

Not the first time I've heard that tbh 😀

I'll allow you to overlook the annoyance factor and that you're going to end up on a caravan site with the sort of people who frequent such establishments.

Find me a B&B that has lots of other kids in it and a huge safe play area. I don't think there are that many.

Plus the norm is for 2 people per room so you need two rooms when you have your kids.

I have actually stayed in hotels, gites, B&Bs and caravans, incidentally, so I am in a position to compare.

that you're going to end up on a caravan site with the sort of people who frequent such establishments.

Hah.. you think all caravan sites are full of chavs? You're not arguing from a position of ignorance, are you? Cos that'd be awfully crass 🙂

Middle of nowhere?
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No thanks.

An upmarket chav dogging vehicle with a tiny sink to rinse your nob in and easy clean upholstery.
Like VHS, trouser presses and hostess trollies I though caravans were last century? Obviously not.

Flash, do you think all caravan sites are like that?

I've NEVER stayed in a site like that, for the record, and I never would.

I like caravans to

As long as they
1 have a yearly MOT
2 Pay road tax
3 Pay rates because they are another form of accommodation
4 keep off the roads between 08.00 - 20.00

actually they are friggin awful things and the only people who have em in the south west are almost dead

Middle of nowhere:

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TBH @ £500 for something that appears to be pretty tidy I'd give it a go!

(If I had somewhere to store it out of sight!)

Caravans. For people too tight to buy a T5...... 😉

(PS, those^^^ beauty spot photo's, they'd look a lot nicer without those huge white whales in the front of the pic)

For people who like more space than a T5 and decent facilities (although not AA in this case apparently 🙂 ).. and don't like paying a fortune for a shitty old van.

£500 though - that's a lovely bargain.

PS, those^^^ beauty spot photo's

They're caravan sites, I didn't look for beauty spot photos.

Well done AA, looks like a bahrgin 😀

I say enjoy but hope I don't get stuck behind you doing 30mph up a dual carriageway..

Can you fit yer bikes in it more importantly?? If you can it's a winner IMO.

The beauty of a tent is that it's portable enough to allow you to get sufficently far away from people who caravan or "wildcamp" in campervans 🙂

Buying a caravan is a sure sign that a person has given up on life. If I ever buy one it will be at that moment that I realise life really hasn't turned out how I planned and I'll pause to reflect on where I went so terribly wrong.

Please just drive it far from the roads I use, lorries get a hard time for fouling up traffic on dual carriageways but caravans are the worst by far. Hateful things, like sleeping in a drum...

Roads are shared use spaces and folks say the same things about bikes.

Buying a caravan is a sure sign that a person has given up on life.

Yeah, but £500?? I can't stand the idea of a caravan, but £500 for something that looks tidy, when you can't afford a T4/5 etc? It's got to be worth an experiment!

A chemical toilet, no bath or proper shower, pitiful cooking facilities and a damp, cramped bed is far from being "decent facilities".

I'm still a no here.

Why would your bed be damp or cramped? Have you ever actually been in a modern caravan?

You'd be happy to camp in a tent though, which is even worse facilities?

no bath

Oh come on FFS; "no bath"?!

Had many a good holiday caravanning with my parents when I was younger. We camped for years all over Europe and the channel islands and a caravan seemed a natural progression. Was much nicer to sit in the van playing board games when it was pissing down in Cornwall rather than being stuck in a tent.

Would quite like one myself at some point.

My parents tow theirs to a site and leave it there most of the summer now. Drive down on a Friday and enjoy your own space already set up. Lock up on a Sunday.

There Are plenty of small sites around.

Different kettle of fish to T5 and some caravans probably cost as much.

Op: what make is it? I don't recognise it?

Re the cost, bear in mind that AA is a teacher, so he can take 5 week summer holidays if he likes. At £15 for a caravan site and £60 for a B&B he'd save around £1500 on the accommodation cost alone for one trip. And he's only spent £500 on the van. Then he can go away for a few more weeks the rest of the year too. Sound decision on those terms alone.

Different kettle of fish to T5 and some caravans probably cost as much.

Caravans are FAR cheaper than campervans, generally.

you will be complaining there is no wine cellar or servants quarters next Flashy

The one year running costs of a campervan would be more than he just paid for that van

Caravans are ace. End of.

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CaptainFlashheart - Member

A chemical toilet, no bath or proper shower, pitiful cooking facilities and a damp, cramped bed is far from being "decent facilities".

I always had down as a man of adventure who good forgo home comforts in his search for exciting new horizons

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I obviously got that wrong.

For five hundred quid I'd give it a shot.

An upmarket chav dogging vehicle with a tiny sink to rinse your nob in and easy clean upholstery.

http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/caravans-clarkson-can-off#post-6105252 is a very carefully cropped photo!

you're going to end up on a caravan site with the sort of people who frequent such establishments.

How many caravan sites have you been to? I don't get the anti-aravan thing; they're a great idea! Far cheaper than a campervan/motorhome, And you can unhitch it and drive somewhere for diner etc. And they help reduce motorway speeds, which is better for road safety nd helps savelives.

[i]As long as they
1 have a yearly MOT
2 Pay road tax
3 Pay rates because they are another form of accommodation
4 keep off the roads between 08.00 - 20.00

[/i]

On point number 2, only vehicles that emit more than a certain amount get charged 'road tax', caravans, don't emit anything so they don't need to. just like your bike.

a caravan won't fit in my panniers

I can't tow a caravan with my bicycle or my motorbike

for the price of this cheap £500 caravan I can stay 50 nights on a campsite

I can drive at 80mph & get 50mpg from my car without risk of being turned around & laid on my side by a big white box behind me

I can carry my house in a rucksac to the remotest parts of the world

QED caravans are shite

My brother has a caravan and to be accepted you have to wear crocs and a leather cowboy hat.
Sell it while you can.

Ignore the haters and enjoy your 'van!

But why are they all white or beige? Why not colours that blend into the landscape?

And why are the graphics and internal textiles always so minging?

£500? I nearly bought one of those a few months ago for 2.5k...
If you decide you don't want it I'll take it off your hands.

mattbee - Member
I nearly bought one of those a few months ago .

You're sacked....
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Now get back to work

£500? I nearly bought one of those a few months ago for 2.5k...

Yeah we are buying off a good friend who is not worried about the cash, very lucky. Would prefer a campervan but cannot afford one. Its a bit on an experiment but worth a shot for that money.

Bloody shed dragger.

Why is my wife obsessed with getting a caravan?

She wants to join in with the swingers?

At my age she has access to all the swingers I have

*spits morning coffee*

Personally I'd prefer a well kitted out T5 or some sort of motor home but £500, that's a bargain! Can't go wrong with that. Just make sure you pull over every now and again to let the frustrated traffic behind past 😉

Where do you live. Basil?? 😆

Wow not even the fatties get this much abuse! I'm going to join in before it is socially unacceptable to abuse them too...
I camp in tents quite a bit, sometimes in campsites that have caravans in them too, and other than a slightly quicker setup and more space in the car I can't see any advantage in a caravan over a tent. You would expect that caravan users would be a grade above tent goers in the echelons of holiday accommodation but far from it; tent goers are just so much nicer human beings.
BTW I say this from the position of having spent 2 weeks a year the first 14 years of life holidaying in a static caravan in Torbay, a position possibly lower in the echelons.

I can drive at 80mph...

Not in the UK, presumably.

I can carry my house in a rucksac to the remotest parts of the world

So can I. I have a lightweight bikepacking setup, and I have a lightweight family camping setup too. My next camping trip will be with the family in the tent, cos we have to take it all on a plane.

But for a weekend away in the car, which we also do, the caravan does the same job as the tent but is much more comfortable. That's really al there is to it.

You don't have to be one of those insane old people who sit in their caravans watching telly and treat caravanning as an activity in itself. It's just camping, but comfier.

Another caravan owner here 🙂

Done a fair bit of camping over the years and its great when the weather is good but when its not its not fun

We do a lot of bike races across the UK including the MTB XC Series, 3 day tour of Wales etc and apart from a motor home the caravan is by far the best option

They are warm, dry, comfortable and you can cook a good meal easily.
Given you want to be in decent shape for a race no contest really

They are better than campervans in some respects - you get far more space, and you don't have to pack it up to go out for the day.

Wish I could afford one so my kids could experience what I experienced with my grandparents when I was young. But fear they are getting a bit old?

Bloody awful things.

However you dress it up - its still a plastic shed on wheels.

I've got four kids and going on holidays in hotels is firstly prohibitively expensive and secondly is nothing but stress getting everyone organised for the meal times etc. For us having a caravan makes us pretty flexible (we never book anything and just turn up) the kids get to make new friends and are busy the whole day which makes the whole experience more relaxing for us the parents. I've always hated camping in tents... was never able to sleep very well in them.

If we had better roads, better trained drivers (lets make towing tests/lesson cheaper and compulsory) and caravans were better designed I think it would make caravanning a lot better.

Oh and if we ditched the horrible fibreglass and wood boxes and went back to these then they would be a lot prettier:

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Caravans are ace just for the names. Great way to pass miles of motorway.

Explorer
Great Adventure
Apollo
Wilderness Explorer III

etc

anybody know a good source for "Don't come a knockin'..." stickers ?

its still a plastic shed on wheels.

Caravans? Meh. Now, this on the other hand...

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Plus it more than pays for itself with the methamphetamine production! 😀

Spotted in a pub car park.
This is all you need:

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its still a plastic shed on wheels.

So? Better than a bag with sticks, or a builders van, or an old person's house etc. I can make anything sound bad by using disparaging language, it proves nothing.

It's a little tiny portable house. Brilliant 🙂

Re Airstreams - they look cool but are very expensive and very very heavy. You need a truck to tow, and I think.some of them may not be towable on a normal license.

Caravans are ok, it the inconsiderate drivers that really hack me off

dawdling along at 35-40mph then when you can safely overtake they miraculously speed up to 50-55mph Grrrrrr

it the inconsiderate drivers that really hack me off

Yeah me too. Caravanning is not short of idiotic old people. I take great care to minimise annoyance to others when I tow, but many don't. But then, that goes for pretty much all motorists regardless of vehicle.

Couple of weeks ago at Kippford so we could ride Dalbeattie. Only issue was the guy who tried to overtake the "f*****g caravan" when all of the traffic was travelling at 60 behind the traffic police car.
Only other issue we have is people on dual carriageways passing slowly to take photos.

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