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Arrived yesterday and did our normal thing of avoiding the 3.30pm check-in madness where everyone sits in the main car park gridlocked with engines running until they open the gate. People seem to have a bewilderingly high tolerance for sitting in a car not moving.. Anyway, the usual bellends in the usual cars were fulfilling most of the common stereotypes:
> Mr purple sline Audi man speeding right up to his lodge where his two kids were playing outside.
> Mr range rover sport pushing the little hatchback in front of him.
> Mr bottom spec diesel 1-series with illegal plates and dodgy aftermarket black wheels doing wheelspins in the gravel.
> Mr M-Sport 3 series leaving his car all night outside his lodge, getting a ticket, looking all angry/confused before speeding off the wrong way down the 1 way system to return his car to the main car park.
> Mr fully paid up member of the pops and bangs dickhead brigade flooring and lifting off in 1st gear repeatedly to make as much noise as possible while going 20mph in his Focus ST.
> And my personal favourite Mr I think I'm a cage fighter driving a pickup truck with barbarian written on it several times in massive writing who reversed up a steep and intricate incline narrowly avoiding rocks and trees and to get 10ft closer to his lodge for unloading.
My wife is sick to death of my shit patter regarding said bellends so thought I'd come on here and bore you lot with my dull account of blokes being dicks in cars. So, what car owner stereotypes have been fulfilled recently for you?
How’s your swingers holiday going?
They sound more like Center Parcs stéréotypes to me.
Ha ha - brilliant. Can picture them now.
My wife is sick to death of my shit patter
Perhaps she's been on Mumsnet and the trip is not quite what she was hoping for.
How many of them (I hope this doesn't include you!) have school age children taken out of school to get cheap er Centre Parcs prices in term time?
That annoys me far more than shit car antics 😉
Which one were you
Which one were you
Lexus driver wearing his driving gloves, white cotton cap and aviator shades while tutting at others.
You goes to Center Parcs, you takes your choice.
But cool story bro
The japanese mercedes, I wish!
How many of them (I hope this doesn’t include you!) have school age children taken out of school to get cheap er Centre Parcs prices in term time?
That annoys me far more than shit car antics 😉
What annoys you - how parents choose to treat their own children, or Center Parcs ripping you off at school holiday time?
@nickewen enjoyed that, very funny
Stereotypes do exist for a reason, whether confirmation bias, perceptual or otherwise, always interesting.
Especially interesting to leave the UK and work internationally for many years - the RoW view on the British stereotype was very revealing (and accurate!), as it was for the rest of the worlds nations. Funny stuff.
So, what car owner stereotypes have been fulfilled recently for you?
I listened to classic FM on the way home tonight.
What annoys you – how parents choose to treat their own children, or Center Parcs ripping you off at school holiday time?
Bit of both. Not that I ever want to go to CP 😉
As a teacher I dislike having to try and help little Jane or Jonny catch up what they missed when their parents take them out for a couple of weeks in term time.
Especially when it's invariably the kids who do zero homework, and who are taken out for spurious reasons on a regular basis.
As rants go , that’s a 9/10.
🙂
I love center Parcs, I wanted to hate it, but it's brilliant.
No traffic, awesome pool, no dogs, loads to do, good clean fun.
I'll be there with my 12 year old civic this year, wonder how the OP will classify me?.
I had massive reservations about Centre Parcs but it's actually ok for the same reasons Nobeer gives. It's easy with two young kids, just got to be careful on the first and last day while the cars are about.
Centreparcs, its the modern Butlins, what do you expect?
No traffic, awesome pool, no dogs, loads to do, good clean fun.
They allow dogs?
Good clean fun is how certain sites advertise trips to centre Parcs.
Perhaps she’s been on Mumsnet and the trip is not quite what she was hoping for.
👍
Nice summary OP. Sort of game I play in my head.
@nickewen good work...funny stuff
Though I have to agree with wot the teacher said (married to a teacher myself)
They allow dogs?
Aye, about a dozen at a time, and they have a walking area, so the rest of us don't have to be in the same area as them.
I’ll be there with my 12 year old civic this year,
Funny name for a kid but I suppose it is the 21st Century. She'll be able to play out with Abcde I expect.
Why are you at centre parks?
One of the upsides of having a dog I guess is that I will be unable to frequent these type of places and I’ll have to use a tent or rent a cottage. Damn they allow dogs!
LAT - To watch other people by the sounds of it.
Inbred - superb.
Damn they allow dogs!
They do yes but luckily they have special areas for miserable people to walk, so you shouldn’t see any dog haters.
6 .... not bad.
I wonder if there's a seventh ?
Not a dog hater at all, just get pissed off wi a lot the entitled ****s that own them.
No beer, don’t get caught watching people in the pool.
Drac, one of those keys is for the male box.
edit
Nickewen, very amusing assassinations and summary.
Been a few times and liked it, or at least the kids have so I have. Can’t say I bumped in to too many idiots so meh.
I thought this would be a “What lube for...” thread.
Disappointed that it’s not and that someone hasn’t suggested Putoline as the answer for all conditions.
1. Heat Putoline on a camping stove or cheap deep fat fryer
2. Apply and scream.
3...
Nick - very good 🙂
Like to think I don't fall into any of your stereotypical categories; I drive both an Audi and Merc - but not at same time.
As for Drac's bowl of keys - I don't see one with the either Drac or Mod on the fob so.....I'm out 😉
If you hate it that much why do you go? Done like whilst everyone else is enjoying hanging out with their kids, you are just wallowing in your judgemental dislike of everyone.
We’re off for our third trip to CP in April. First time around I too was surprised how much I enjoyed it. As has been said, no cars, kids free to wander in a different environment - as “London” kids mine love playing amongst the trees - and some different activities to do even if that’s just wallowing in the pool between coffees and beers. As my Nan used to say “a change is as good as a rest”.
We take our own bikes and booze and find everyone else quite pleasant and interactive in a chilled removed environment.
We like it too. But then, I figure as a Ford Galaxy driving middle aged man I’m pretty much target demographic!
'92 was the year we drove all the way to Newark couldn't find the place , the weekenders were the worst usually sales rep cars flouting the laws as they had work on the Monday. Everything was fairly new back then but other than the pool, the cycling or the kart track nearby it was ok too long a drive and two wasted days
Oasis the next year a wee bit better
Interesting regarding the no cars idea, we went to a mostly Dutch campsite in Germany last year and despite cars being allowed on site they were relatively infrequent sights and never caused any issues. Perhaps it says more about us as a nation than it does about the owners of certain cars.
Someone on here once described it as a magnet for aspiring middle managers with too many tattoos.
I always look forward to the early morning Dad walk on the last morning. Loads of men (myself included), trudging along in the pitch black at 7am (in December) to the car park to get the car back so you can get parked somewhere vaguely close to your lodge.
It's the little nods of acknowledgment and solidarity that make it special.
Interesting regarding the no cars idea, we went to a mostly Dutch campsite in Germany last year and despite cars being allowed on site they were relatively infrequent sights and never caused any issues. Perhaps it says more about us as a nation than it does about the owners of certain cars.
Yip, we did too, despite the place being full of folk who looked as if they'd never cycled before, there was no issues with cars and bikes the full week we were there. I think a lot of that is down to the fact that most folk parked their cars up and never felt the need to use them all week. At CP here, you could guarantee that folk in the lodges a bit further out, like a whole half mile away, would drive to the pool/centre if they could.
Top tip btw, for those that haven't been - arrive and park up at 10am, get a full day in the pool etc before the check in rush at 3, same again at the end, stay till 3pm on last day.
I'm assuming that the only people who go to centre Parcs have kids yeah? I mean it sounds utterly horrific, but what do they do outside school holidays?
tpbiker
Member
I’m assuming that the only people who go to centre Parcs have kids yeah?
You would think, but i have seen young couples making a terrible mistake!
Absolutely howling at some of the comments, thanks for the responses all! 😂
We went to Center Parcs for the 1st time a couple years back with my side of the family and I wasn’t sure it was for me.. Now I’m an absolute convert - despite my OP full of shite, boring and judgmental patter I really do enjoy it, even sitting in the front room of the lodge tutting at all the people I outlined on the previous page.
I totally agree with the comments above re. car use - I’m absolutely certain some people would drive to the pool if it was allowed. It’s so nice not having cars cutting about the place 24/7. I live on a main road, albeit in a 20mph zone and you don’t realise the extent of noise pollution from motorised vehicles until it’s taken away for a week.
Our daughter is only 9months old so we’re taking advantage of the cheaper rates for the moment.. once she’s in school any tips on where to go for a nice swinging holiday in the UK? Any links to that mumsnet thread?
We're going to Center Parcs soon. With my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I had no idea.
:-O
We’re going to Center Parcs soon. With my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I had no idea.
I bet they do.
I mean it sounds utterly horrific, but what do they do outside school holidays?
Cater for families of non school age kids. That's when we went. Plenty of people obviously take their children out of school too.
Car owner stereotypes alive and well at Center Parcs CyB!
FIFY
though would have to add
>BMW driver who likes to boast of doing 150 past the turnoff on social media.
I’m assuming that the only people who go to centre Parcs have kids yeah? I mean it sounds utterly horrific, but what do they do outside school holidays?
TripAdvisor suggest the same types that take their wife for a date at the Oxo tower.
Car owner stereotypes alive and well at Center Parcs CyB!
Surely no-one drives a car to CyB? I thought it was all Volkswagen T5 / T6 or Ford Transit Customs these days?
Surely no-one drives a car to CyB?
The 50% not in T5's are in Audi's with roof bars carrying the obligatory Santa Cruz 😉
feeling left out Mister P ? 😉
I bet they do.
[gulp]
Having never been to centre parcs, then I assume the 'gates thing' is just for 'unloading' - i.e. drive to the lodge with stuff, then go park back at the car park. If so, I'd park up, and get the bikes off and pedal down to the lodge with my family's stuff, just to hiss off all those waiting to 'drive'.
Oh yes car ownership stereotypes at CyB. We turned up with two saloon cars (not hatches) loaded with 6 bikes on the roof (had capacity for 8) and all our shizzle in two large 'boots'. How dare we turn up with 'normal' cars.
If so, I’d park up, and get the bikes off and pedal down to the lodge with my family’s stuff, just to hiss off all those waiting to ‘drive’.
Good luck getting in your lodge. 😉
Having never been to centre parcs, then I assume the ‘gates thing’ is just for ‘unloading’ – i.e. drive to the lodge with stuff, then go park back at the car park. If so, I’d park up, and get the bikes off and pedal down to the lodge with my family’s stuff, just to hiss off all those waiting to ‘drive’.
in reality, there's no real wait, I've never been more than 10 minutes tops, but then I've never been on a proper busy holiday weekend, that'd be silly. 🙂
I don't understand the need for in 15yr old girls to be wearing bikinis with half their arse hanging out. FFS its not love island.
feeling left out Mister P ?
It's fine, I have a T5. However I go to neither CP or CyB these days.
Pah. T5's? You take your old bangers wherever you want, T6 for my family.
I don’t understand the need for in 15yr old girls to be wearing bikinis with half their arse hanging out. FFS its not love island.
Which one ? I'll book it this afternoon 🙂
I don’t understand the need for in 15yr old girls to be wearing bikinis with half their arse hanging out. FFS its not love island.
What type of car where they driving?
fossy
Having never been to centre parcs, then I assume the ‘gates thing’ is just for ‘unloading’ – i.e. drive to the lodge with stuff, then go park back at the car park. If so, I’d park up, and get the bikes off and pedal down to the lodge with my family’s stuff, just to hiss off all those waiting to ‘drive’.
This is what we do.
Take a couple of rucsacks with us - one with swimming gear in, the other with 'essentials' like tea bags, a pint of milk and some chocolate digestives. Oh, and a lock.
Cycle to the lodge, have a cup of tea, wander around, go for a swim etc. Then head back to the car around 4-5pm when the main CARnage has died down & unload the car.
Drac
Good luck getting in your lodge. 😉
Am I missing something? You get your keys/fobs at the gate upon arrival. Sometimes the room is still being cleaned, but they normally let you dump a bag while you go off for a wander/swim/starbucks....
so you can get parked somewhere vaguely close to your lodge
Some people just refuse to walk anywhere
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-51383435
Am I missing something? You get your keys/fobs at the gate upon arrival. Sometimes the room is still being cleaned, but they normally let you dump a bag while you go off for a wander/swim/starbucks….
He’d need to join the same people queuing to get their key.
What type of car where they driving?
They got a lift with Duncan.
Top tip btw, for those that haven’t been – arrive and park up at 10am, get a full day in the pool etc before the check in rush at 3, same again at the end, stay till 3pm on last day.
Your revolutionary idea also works for most/all kinds of self catering holidays. Saturday to Saturday cottage in Cornwall? Hell yeh, smash down Friday nights when the roads are clear and kip in a Premier Inn. Wake up and have a massive breakfast before a short jaunt to a beach etc for the day and roll into your accommodation whenever suits.
Time to go home? You could be an idiot and go home the night before like my parents/BiL does or pack, mooch around for the day etc and then drive home after tea on quiet roads again.
Ideal.
I mean it sounds utterly horrific, but what do they do outside school holidays?
Probably not Alan.
We’re going to Center Parcs soon. With my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I had no idea.
Imagine going to Croydon IKEA on a bank holiday Monday.
Friday nights when the roads are clear
Dream on.
Hate center parcs with a passion, feels like colditz to me, feel trapped. Really don't understand the appeal. Especially at school holiday prices.
Been a few times now when my parents wanted to take extended family away.
The kids love it though.
Used to go to CP regularly when we could afford it - even put a Strava segment up referring to the difficult brown. Then my wife worked out we could have a week in France CP with plenty of change even after ferry costs.
OP
ARF, it’s not jus me then.
Your analogies made my day ,,bed time now.
Strava segment up referring to the difficult brown.
Is that some kind of CP code phrase?
I'm definitely in the camp of "not my cup of tea" and "how bloody much? You could go all inclusive to the carribean for that"
I just don't get it.
Strava segment up referring to the difficult brown
Is that some kind of CP code phrase?
Presumably it's a code similar to what WRC rally Co drivers use to inform the driver how to get from the chalet to the car park 😉
Hate center parcs with a passion, feels like colditz to me
You do realise you can come and go whenever you want?
But you can never leave?