Cant poo on the toi...
 

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[Closed] Cant poo on the toilet...what to do?

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Not me, my lazy 3 yr old son.

He's a stubborn so and so. Been potty training him for a few weeks now. Wees are no problem. The odd accident, but he can hold em in and release on order. Pants are typically dry all day. Nappies are dry in the mornings so he's holding them in in his sleep.

Poos are a different matter. Simply says he 'cant' when asked to try and do one on the potty. He likes to just sh$t himself then wander over to you with a grin like he's done something to be proud of. We've tried encouragement, bribery (chocolate), instilling fear, big boy toilet, different potties, stars, points, books on the matter but all to no avail. He's got no interest in trying.

Nursery are great and happy to deal with a sh$t in the pants once a day (he's a mid afternoon crapper usually). They helped get him going with the number ones.

His older brother was similar until one day he sh$t his pants at nursery (the first time) and was somehow mentally scarred by it. He never wet/soiled himself again after that.

Forgot to mention he's got a great sense of humour. He can fart to order so he's definitely got some sense of controlling his bowel muscles 🙂

Any ideas before I start searching mumsnet?!


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 3:56 pm
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Wee boys are lazy wee bastards.

Keep plugging away. Perhaps not the right word.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 3:58 pm
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He likes to just sh$t himself then wander over to you with a grin like he’s done something to be proud of

Living his best life. We all want to be JnrJambo


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:00 pm
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Make a big fuss of him if he does. Completely ignore him , other than to cleanup, when he doesn't.

Toddlers love attention and will do pretty much anything to get it.

It's a phase and he'll grow out of it and one day you'll look back with fondness on the times when you used to find a wee sneaky jobby behind the couch.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:03 pm
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Covid is no excuse for the Nanny not to turn up for work - get it sorted man !


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:03 pm
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We used to get them to sit on the potty but in a nappy, or lay a nappy in the potty, to get used to the process.

IME (3 kids) there's no rushing these things, it's highly unlikely that he'll still be crapping his pants (deliberately at least) when he's 21.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:03 pm
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Posted : 23/11/2020 4:06 pm
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Swap the potty for the toilet? Poo’s are way more fun when you can count the plops..... so I’m told


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:07 pm
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"Release on order" lol Sounds like he's rebelling against a totalitarian state ! haha.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:10 pm
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Our daughter was the same. She potty trained really quick with wees, but would just poo in her nappy/knickers & we'd have to clear it up.

She used to say it felt funny going for a poo.
I can't remember how long this went on for, but I think she was definitely still doing this past her 4th birthday.
Then one day she just said she was going to poo in the toilet & that was that.

We tried bribing with treats, reward charts and various other stuff we'd read online. We tried getting her to poo with her nappy/knickers still on but sitting on the toilet/potty, leaving her with no bottoms at all on etc. We even found apps on my wife's phone that were supposed to help with a story around Mr poo going to poo-land.....
Every time we tried to erm, push the issue, she would just refuse to go which resulted in the opposite problem - she'd bung herself up. So we figured it was better to just let her do it in her own time. Ah, the joy of parenting....


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:12 pm
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After hearing lots of nightmare stories we just let Funk Jr lead us as opposed to deciding when to potty train. Worked a treat so we’re repeating with Funkette. She’s just turned three and is starting to let us know when she has been and taking a general interest in all things toilet.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:12 pm
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Have you tried a training seat to put on the toilet? My 3 year old treats his like a throne but it has worked a treat so far. He no longer uses a potty but just the occasional accident. We also have a 'PeeWee' for when we're out and about


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:13 pm
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Posted : 23/11/2020 4:15 pm
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Just heading over to Mumsnet to ask what tyre for Peaslake tomorrow 😉


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:16 pm
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Just heading over to Mumsnet to ask what tyre for Peaslake tomorrow 😉

lol.

I can’t remember how long this went on for, but I think she was definitely still doing this past her 4th birthday.

good god...he's just turned 3 so i'll pretend i didn't read that!

Make a big fuss of him if he does. Completely ignore him , other than to cleanup, when he doesn’t

Will definitely give this a go. Giving him attention/encouragement definitely isn't working!

Thanks for all the advice all.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 4:59 pm
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I am not saying which one, there are folk on here who know my lads, but one of them also was the master of the pinching one off anywhere but the loo or potty. I swear he took pride in it.
He grew out of it suddenly at about 4.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:01 pm
 DrP
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Aren't you meant to rub their noses in it, or something like that...?

DrP


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:07 pm
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Can highly recommend the Squatty potty - mate got me it for my 40th as a joke but it is brilliant...
And that isn't something I ever thought I'd be posting.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:21 pm
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Have you tried Home Stooling?

Anyway, it won't help you but we trained our youngest to say 'that'll never flush' every time he did a dookie in the bowl, something he would loudly repeat at nursery, much to the amusement of the staff.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:23 pm
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This is really useful.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-race-good-health/201305/tackling-toilet-training-5-tips-parents

Also might be useful to look at whether using nappies at night is confusing the situation. Nappies could indicate that peeing/pooing in your clothes is still OK.

Also, This is really interesting!

https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-25/edition-6/toilet-psychology


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:35 pm
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Aren’t you meant to rub their noses in it, or something like that…?

LOL

My nephew went through a phase of telling everyone to come to the bathroom before ceremoniously saying good bye before flushing.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:40 pm
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This is why I love psychology articles

As a schoolboy Carl Jung experienced a vision of God, seated on a golden throne, dropping ‘an enormous turd’ on a cathedral.

Where else could you read something like that?


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:42 pm
 LAT
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Where else could you read something like that?

STW!

my son is the same. can’t/won’t poo on the loo. we’ve tried pretty much everything. he’d sit there all night if we didn’t need to go to bed.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 5:48 pm
 Aidy
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Pretty sure the answer is supposed to be picolax?


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 6:06 pm
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My son was past his 4th birthday. He was ‘trained’ in that he wouldn’t have accidents and could control it, but would ask for a nappy so he could go and find a quiet place to do his business-normally behind the clothes airer. He just grew out of it one day.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 6:07 pm
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Yeah, with ours it just happened when it happened. Tried too early with the first, then it clicked 6-12 months later. It's like drinking beer, one day you realise it makes sense.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 8:19 pm
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Too many book and internet channels nowadays saying x should happen at y time with kids. Friend of mine pretty much forced potty training on his kid and it was hell for all involved. Just let them do it when it works for them. Less stress all around.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 8:24 pm
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Some kids are dry long before they are clean. so far both my girls were like that. We got good at spotting the signs of a poo...a face, or a dance, or running off to hid behind the curtains or the usual time of day it came....and got very good and the 'You need a poo!' grab, and run for the potty. Celebrate a half caught one, and my god when they keep it all in until you get them there and ready...its party time! Still takes a few weeks of that after the first party, but it got better and better so we found it ok to keep spirits up.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 9:49 pm
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I am not saying which one, there are folk on here who know my lads

Probably better to specify otherwise they’ll suspect all of them just to be in the safe side.


 
Posted : 23/11/2020 9:59 pm
 jwt
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We had all sorts of issues with our son, turned out he was slightly constipated and it was causing him some distress. Eventually got it sorted with some prescription laxatives.


 
Posted : 24/11/2020 9:24 am
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biscuit or sweet bribery worked for both of our kids.


 
Posted : 24/11/2020 9:52 am
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Tell him one day, like me, me he may have to suffer the artifice of a colostomy bag and will never again be able to enjoy a nice long shit accompanied by suitable reading material so he should savour every one just in case. If I knew then what I know now I would certainly have put more effort into enjoying dropping the kids off at the pool...


 
Posted : 24/11/2020 12:29 pm
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We had all sorts of issues with our son, turned out he was slightly constipated and it was causing him some distress. Eventually got it sorted with some prescription laxatives.

the answer actually was picolax, who'd a thunk it?


 
Posted : 24/11/2020 12:54 pm
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Posted : 24/11/2020 4:33 pm
 hugo
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Our oldest, who is doing very well in other areas, eg can swim a length and ride a bike by 3 and a half, was also late to be toilet trained.

What worked in the end was that he would poo if he had pants on because he identified them as similar to the nappies. The solution? Naked for 48 hours on the bottom half. Worked a treat. Once he'd done a couple of toilet poos then the cycle was broken and he was away.

Zero accidents since, probably because we left it so late.

Good luck!


 
Posted : 24/11/2020 9:21 pm
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Our 3yo loves an outdoor pooh, which wasn't so bad during the original lock down when our area of the National Park was closed off, but not so easy when it opened up again.

Now they spend hours on the toilet singing to it.


 
Posted : 24/11/2020 11:39 pm

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