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Haven't posted on here for a while (the new format doesn't work on my phone so drifted away) but I really can't think of anywhere else to vent about this.
10 years ago my mum had a cancerous cyst weighing 10lbs removed. 6 years ago my dad was diagnosed with skin cancer that developed into leukaemia that ultimately took him. Three years ago my uncle also developed skin cancer (I don't like him but it's still a crappy situation the family had to deal with). A few cousins and other relatives have also had scares with the Big C too. Â
Found out a few days ago that my sister has breast cancer that has gone from a small lump to urgent surgery in 3 weeks. Â
I'm the only one in my family that hasn't had a cancer scare. That's a sobering thought. Don't know why I'm posting this but had to do something that wasn't on social media that my family are on.
(Just to add that posting this on the phone was a nightmare).
Cancer really is shite.....sharing/venting on here ? A problem shared and all that. All the best to you and your family.
Cancer is a complete C U Next Tuesday.
It took my grandfather, my mother had breast cancer leading to a mastectomy and my younger sister is just recovering from breast cancer and a double mastectomy.
Genetic testing has shown that I carry the defective BRCA2 gene so have double the normal chance of some forms of cancer and a 50% chance that I have passed it on to my children.
You and anyone else affected by it have my sympathy and best wishes, @reluctantjumper.
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Yep cancer is a ****! My sister died earlier this year after suffering with a rare cancer for the last 3 or 4 years. She had massive surgery in her chest and back, had a lung removed, huge amounts of chemo and some radio therapy and then her liver failed!
She was literally coughing up cancer by then end. How the **** she kept going I've know idea. I miss her loads.Â
Mym mum is broken, and my nephew is a shadow of himself and is really struggling. Not really got a dad as he lives somewhere else and is ****ing useless. A 17 year old should not have to deal with that shit.Â
Bug hugs to anyone else going through cancer rubbish.
Oh and OP, try a different browser or something, posting on here is no different than it's ever been for me. I've always used chrome on android.
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Its rife in my family history too. Both grandads died from it, Mum miraculously survived it as an early treatment guinea pig in the 70s, took my Dad 10 years ago, uncle and aunty currently battling it. Not to be morbid but I'm kinda resigned to getting it one day as a means of coping if/when it happens.Â
Its shit.
Cancer can get ducked. But with a capital F.
It nearly got my dad. It did get my mum, my mother in law at christmas then just last month my dog.Â
It's done its best to break me and I haven't even got it yet.
My Dad has cancer and it may or may not kill him soon. He also has chronic kidney failure and chronic heart failure so they aren't going to treat it beyond palliative care but it also means one of those might get him before the cancer does. Exciting times.
Kind of an annoying age as well. He's too old to say 'he was taken too early' but also not old enough to say, 'he had a good innings'. A very 'meh' age to die.
I guess 50 years of smoking will do that to you sometimes.
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@reluctantjumper That's rough. I hope your sister's surgery goes well and she is on the mend soon.
@ads678 I hope your nephew gets help he needs. I also lost my mum to C at 17 and, whilst my dad was around, it didn't get spoken about; one week off school then it was back to normal. I didn't even begin to deal with it until I was 23 and I wasn't the most stable bunny in that interim 6 years.
Cheers @brakestoomuch. He's living with my other sister and BIL now and he has similar age cousins there and a dog and is enjoying being there we think. It's screwed his education up, but hopefully he's going back to college when it starts in Sept, it was February when his mum died. We (my lot and my sisters lot) took him on a big family holiday a couple of weeks ago and we're trying to encorage him to start doing things but it's hard as we're generally outdoor doer types and he's a stay in his room gaming type. We don't live nearby as well so it's all on my sister really. He is coming up to ours this weekend though so that gets him out of the house for a bit. My son is the same age and my daughter only a couple years younger, they all get along well.
He has had some councelling before his mum died but we don't think he's quite ready at the moment to go back to it, we try to be pretty open with him and I think he repects that. We discuss his mum around him and I think he likes hearing stories about her. You never really know if you're doing the right thing though....
Hopefully he see's the love we all have for him and it helps him though it.
Fk cancer. Fk all other life altering/threatening conditions too.
Sorry to read @reluctantjumper but as you are spotting already it is really (Scarily) common. It has taken a lot of my family from father onwards, yep dog too at one point, and it is one of those things that we all know is there and yet when it gets closer to us we find out that so many others have had it touch their lives in some way.
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You can only do your best to keep them as steady and as positive as you can possibly do, tough sometimes, and I found myself putting a brave face in front of others and tears quietly if that helps at all.
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I found that after a while I got terribly motivated to do something to raise some cash to help as a lot of the research on treatments and conditions are really badly funded and went about raising some cash to help them. It was emotional, bloody hard, but felt good to help even a little.
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Wishing you and anyone else the very best with it.
Indeedy **** cancer. It took both of my parents, when I was 40+, I was mess for a long time, so huge sympathy to yourself and your nephew. Nothing wrong with venting, and this is a great avenue to release.
No cancer in my family at all... Except for me! It's stage 4 and incurable but I'm currently healthy and loving life. I've managed to change my view of, and relationship with, cancer and now accept it. Always happy to talk about it, particularly if anyone is newly diagnosed and feels like their world has fallen apart. I came close to ending my life in order to end my physical and emotional pain but managed to get on top of those symptoms and now believe there is always some hope and that we can find peace.
**** cancer.Â
He has had some councelling before his mum died but we don't think he's quite ready at the moment to go back to it,
The advice I got was counseling really is only a holding place until 18 months or so. I had a couple of sessions around the time Mrs TJ died and half a dozen after 18 months. It did help a lot.
we try to be pretty open with him and I think he repects that. We discuss his mum around him and I think he likes hearing stories about her. You never really know if you're doing the right thing though....
Hopefully he see's the love we all have for him and it helps him though it.
IMO / IME thats about as good an approach as you can take. Try not to make it the topic of every conversation tho. There are no wrong or right answers really - only to do what you can and whats right for the bereaved person and to keep talking. The worst thing is to bottle it up ie not talk
I found that after a while I got terribly motivated to do something to raise some cash to help as a lot of the research on treatments and conditions are really badly funded and went about raising some cash to help them. It was emotional, bloody hard, but felt good to help even a little.
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This sort of thing can really help - I did a lot of lobbying for assisted dying which helped me a lot. Trying to make something good out of the badÂ
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