Buying a mattress (...
 

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[Closed] Buying a mattress (spousal misalignment)

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 Mat
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My wife and I have come to replace our mattress. The old one is 10 years old, it was fairly cheap (~£300 bitd) and it's pocket sprung with a memory foam topper. I sleep like a baby on it whereas my wife finds it a bit uncofortable.

The new mattress criteria is:
- a bit firmer (for my wife, no s****ing)
- not memory foam, it gets a bit too hot in the summer

We're now on to our second mattress, the first replacement was too firm, I tried sleeping on it for 2 nights and tossed and turned both nights and woke up with sore hips/shoulders (I'm a side sleeper). I've had my first night on this next mattress (which was a medium firm) and again it felt like I was tossing and turning loads and just couldn't get comfy on my side. Getting a bit fed up! I always thought I was a non-fussy sleeper, I can fall asleep anywhere if needs be. Any suggestions? both mattresses have been an improvement in my wife's eyes.

Any reccomendations from the stw hive mind?
- Try adjusting my pillows?
- Try a memory foam mattress topper on one side?
- Get a split mattress?

I don't want a new patio before anyone suggests it...


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 11:35 am
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We've had the exact same issue and gone through I think 4 mattresses in 4 years including the cheap "memory" foam ones (Emma IIRC) and 2 different topped ones. Both of the topped ones (1 with foam and one with wool) suffered from the same issue where the tops collapse over time and the result is a bed with 2 dips in it.

My wife insisted she wanted a hard one (s****!) and I wanted soft (ooh err). We've ended up on a Tempur mattress from the outlet shop in Swindon saving a fair wedge, so far, so good and we've had it since September/October I think.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 11:48 am
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Buy a single mattress to each of your specifications, put them on a superkingsize bed frame.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 11:51 am
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we got a mattress which is different firmness on each side


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 11:52 am
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Are the shops open near you? Go lie on some.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 12:00 pm
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Get a mattress you like, Mrs does the same, put them in separate rooms.
Marital bliss and a good nights sleep for all.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 12:16 pm
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Get a mattress you like, Mrs does the same, put them in separate rooms.
Marital bliss and a good nights sleep for all.

+1 for this.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 12:18 pm
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Buy a single mattress to each of your specifications, put them on a superkingsize bed frame.

This. Bloody marvellous.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 12:19 pm
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the first replacement was too firm, I tried sleeping on it for 2 nights and tossed and turned both nights and woke up with sore hips/shoulders

Are you a bit over weight? Only asking as had a similar conversation with someone about the same thing and they were over weight and had noticed they never used to have this problem when they were younger (and thinn.er)


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 12:41 pm
 Mat
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Are the shops open near you? Go lie on some.

Ummm, we're currently in lock-down?! Unless your local tescos has a beds section?

Buy a single mattress to each of your specifications, put them on a superkingsize bed frame.

Hmm that is a possibility, it is a superking we're after...

Get a mattress you like, Mrs does the same, put them in separate rooms.
Marital bliss and a good nights sleep for all.

I have been sleeping on the old bed in the spare room, Mrs Mat was concerned how seemingly happy I was with this arrangement...


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 12:45 pm
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I think with anything new (car/bed/bike/wife) you need to allow at least 2-3 weeks for your body to get used to the new position. We lashed out what I thought was a ridiculous sum on a new memory foam topped mattress and for the first 3-4 nights I was convinced I'd made an expensive mistake. I was roasting hot and couldn't get comfy but after a while things settled down and I can now fall asleep at the drop of a hat

If you've usually no problem sleeping I suspect you'll get used to it


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 1:01 pm
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Ummm, we’re currently in lock-down?! Unless your local tescos has a beds section?

Wait until you aren't?

You spend literally a third of your life on a mattress which you keep for ten years. It's not something I'd want to buy by guesswork.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 1:07 pm
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Get a mattress you like, Mrs does the same, put them in separate rooms.
Marital bliss and a good nights sleep for all.

Also avoids issues due to snoring, fidgeting, differing schedules, heating/fresh-air requirements...


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 1:12 pm
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... and you get to have sex with someone you love every night.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 1:14 pm
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We tend to buy mattresses in winter sales after a summer of weekends away stopping in hotels.
Me and the mrs will take a peek at what model the hotel mattress was and buy the one we both liked it. It’s a better way of testing compared to 10mins on a show room bed.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 1:28 pm
 DezB
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Just so you know - Emma mattresses are pretty soft.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 2:00 pm
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Split mattress is the way forwards.

Works for us.

Hang on and try some out, even for 10 mins.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 2:16 pm
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While you're waiting a bit of 12 or 18mm ply under your wife's side of the bed you give her a nice firm one (ooer).


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 2:33 pm
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While you’re waiting a bit of 12 or 18mm ply under your wife’s side of the bed you give her a nice firm one

Stick it on top for an even firmer experience.....


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 2:38 pm
 Mat
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You spend literally a third of your life on a mattress which you keep for ten years. It’s not something I’d want to buy by guesswork.

The matresses we've tried have felt ok initially but its when I wake up at 4am and can't get comfy that's the problem, I can't tell that in 10 mins

Connect2 - that's the kind of 'do nothing and it'll all turn out ok' anecdotal answer I wanted! I'll persevere for now and everyone will have to deal with my crabiness for a few days!


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 3:11 pm
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we got a mattress which is different firmness on each side

+1 for this, quite straightforward, the two just zip together. We put a thin mattress topper on to cover the zip.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 4:04 pm
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@footflaps Firm not hard (Finbar Saunders goes here).


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 4:19 pm
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Get a mattress you like, Mrs does the same, put them in separate rooms.
Marital bliss and a good nights sleep for all.

Also avoids issues due to snoring, fidgeting, differing schedules, heating/fresh-air requirements…

Sleep divorce. It's a (marvellous) thing:

Linky


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 4:23 pm
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What your mattress sits on will make a surprising difference. If you have a divan base then difficult to change and a split mattress would be best but if it’s on slats then you can vary the firmness to quite a degree by changing the slats and/or spacing. I’ve done this very successfully. All the bits are easily available on eBay.


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 7:17 pm
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Get a split mattress?

How does the mattress know which quarter of the bed you'll be left once comfort has been achieved?


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 7:29 pm
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We got one of those Simba mattresses a few months ago. V nice. 200 night trial, so they collect it and give you a full refund if you don’t like it. Not cheap but we got 25% off and I think offers are fairly common.

It’s titanium conical coil pocket springs on top of memory foam. Clever design!


 
Posted : 04/03/2021 8:01 pm

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