Burnout at work. How to stop it.

Damn, that does not sound a happy situation. I'm not sure I can offer much advice other than getting back to the people you are talking to and asking them for feedback on whether the notice period is the thing. Maybe there is something that you can do at work about that.

The alternative I guess is to think about being signed off with stress now and taking time to protect _yourself_ both mentally and physically before it gets much worse.

I'm sorry I can't offer any more help, but I really hope you can find a solution that keeps you in a good place.

I'll give my standard advice.

learn to say no.  don't work unpaid overtime.

Set your priorities and do the priority work.  check this with your manager either by asking him to set the priorities or telling him what priorities you have set

If work ( of lower priority) is not done tell your manager what and why and ask him what he wants you to do about it

join a union

Sounds awful.
Not sure of your circumstances but I had a long notice period in a toxic role and just handed in my notice with nothing to go to. I could then take time off for interviews but eventually I got a contracting role that lasted 4 years.
If you're able take a leap, it's a buoyant market at the moment.

Every time I’ve tried to speak with my line manager he just turns it round to him and says we are all busy.

I feel mentally shagged and find myself wanting to do less and less. I’m stress eating and put quite a bit of weight on too.

Demand an occupational health referral, going straight to HR if your manager refuses.

Also, check if you employee assistance offers counselling, etc. that might help. It probably does.

If work ( of lower priority) is not done tell your manager what and why and ask him what he wants you to do about it

Don't ask that, as the answer will be "I want you to do it".

To which the answer is.  OK - what other work do yo want me to leave out to do this? but point accepted

then when they hear about my notice period it goes radio silent.

Priority is you surviving and getting another job.

Ensure you have a paper trail showing you have tried to speak to them to resolve the stress.

Tell other vacancies that your notice is 1 month.

Get a job.

Give your current job a months notice.

If they don't like it then tell them to come ahead

Sounds tough. TJ's advice is sound but I know the culture of some work places makes it difficult to adopt.
Start with small things. Stop attending meetings where you aren't 100% needed. Stop doing any work that should be for the new hire. Speak to your manager, speak to your manager's manager, speak to any friendly colleagues you have that maybe able to help.
Good luck.
Oh and don't be afraid of giving notice and finding a new job if you have a couple of months of savings to tide you over.

Effectively I’m doing the role of 3 people but being paid quite a decent amount less than the other managers at my level.

I think you should try to separate money from doing too much.

Coming at it from the angle of "I should be paid more for all of this" doesn't help with the fundamental problem of having too many things lumped upon you.

Give less notice!

I missed.  Get it all in writing

If its an in person conversation then after the in person conversation email the boss with a " as per our recent conversation my understanding is this.  Can you please confirm that is so"

I think you should try to separate money from doing too much.

Understand what you are saying but Im doing an awful lot of work that isn't in my job description and really am covering 3 roles : Head of safety, H&S manager and H&S advisor.

These other managers only have one aspect of the business to look after whereas I am responsible for the safety of the whole business and being paid at least £5000 less a year. I know its not the point but it all just adds to the unsavoury feel I have.

How long is your notice period?

Potentially keep looking or see if you can increase the staffing.

Worked at a Utilities company many years ago and it's mad busy.

My son, was until last week, was working for a Utilities company that's also been bought out. Unfortunately, his IT team have been moving servers to a cloud based company and support, which has meant half of them are out of a job. I'm not so sure the level of work has dropped for those left as my son was constantly up and down the country.

I did this in my last job.
Prioritized everything based on urgency and importance. Had a very frank conversation with my manager and his manager. Swears were involved. And some desk thumping (from me) when they tried to tell me that it was all urgent and important.

Once we'd agreed the definitions of urgent and important, 2/3rds of my tasks evaporated. Some never got done.

some great advise, seek out the wise words of self-help singh 'your boss is not your friend' et al

From the sounds of it you're not going to get far going to your line manager and you'll not get much further going over his head. If your notice period is quite long I'd consider just putting it in now and looking for other jobs immediately. No doubt your current place will come back with promises of extra bodies and a raise but what's to say you won't end up in the same position 6 months down the line.

I was in a similar position this time last year and I got signed off work for two weeks with stress. I had a very understanding manager though and I came back to a different workplace with a much changed/reduced workload.

Could just work to rule, point out what will happen when the other roles aren't done properly, or at all, and the whole place gets shut down.

I missed. Get it all in writing

If its an in person conversation then after the in person conversation email the boss with a ” as per our recent conversation my understanding is this. Can you please confirm that is so”

Good advice.

Document all relevant discussions and let them know you're documenting.

Do progress with the OH route, as this gives you an additional lever (as well as hopefully helping with your health).

An OH doctor will assess and advise adjustments in the workplace, which may include reduced workload etc. It will also focus the minds of HR and management on your situation.

I work in this area BTW, but not on the clinical side.

It's difficult but you do have to start pushing back and that either means saying no or adjusting expectations. If yu can't do something until next week without working evenings then tell whoever made that request that's when it will be done. If it gets pushed back it needs to be done before then then that's when you need your manager to decide what's the priority. If they can't do that then you have to stick to your guns and tell the requestor of the new work that it will be next week and to take it up with your manager if that's a problem.

You don't have to be irreplaceable to have any power to push back, just be either integral enough they know they can't just replace you on a whim or have enough savings to tide you over for 2-3 months. That's the situation I've been in for a few years now and it's so much less stress, I still work extended hours occasionally but it's never assumed/planned that I will.

I thought there was another thread on here about long notice periods not really being enforceable anyway? As someone else said, jsut tell prospective employers it's 1 month and that's all I'd give to your current employer if you got an offer.

Understand what you are saying but Im doing an awful lot of work that isn’t in my job description and really am covering 3 roles : Head of safety, H&S manager and H&S advisor.

If it's not in your Job Description why are you doing it and how did you start doing it in the first place?

If it’s not in your Job Description why are you doing it and how did you start doing it in the first place?

A JD isn't a complete and finite list of responsibilities.

It's quite normal for people to adopt other duties as required, and they "start doing it" when asked by a line manager.

There's always an "other duties as required" line IME.

Thanks all appreciate the advice.

Just to cover:

My notice period is 3 months.

If it’s not in your Job Description why are you doing it and how did you start doing it in the first place?

Good question, at one point I thought it would be good for promotion (I was told I would progress to head of safety when initially interviewed)

They (I) have created a job advert for the role of Head of Safety and all of the bits on it have come from my JD anyway so I'm effectively doing the head of role i.e setting strategic targets and objectives and strategic safety direction.

They have advertised for a Head of safety but anyone that has applied wants 10k more than the max advertised salary. The MD is out of touch with the salary expectations. So because they can recruit anyone for that role I end up doing ot all anyway.

Think I said on another thread that when you tell your bosses that you cant do what they are expecting you to do then it becomes their problem not yours. Ultimately it's a question of what's the worst that could happen if you tell them you're not working 3 jobs any more and will only do the one you're paid for? If you're seeking promotion or a pay rise then you might have to suck it up, but if not then you're perfectly within your rights to only do the job you're paid for and there's very little they can do about it. It probably doesn't feel like it, but you have a lot more power than they do in this situation, so make sure you use it.

I find myself working past my finish time by a good few hours

Stop doing that. If shit doesn't get done, it doesn't get done. No company going to take on more staff whilst they have employees willing to work for free, I'm sure it's well-intentioned but you're making a rod for your own back.

I am responsible for

... nothing at all after 5:30pm unless they're paying you time and a half / double time for the extra work.

If the shoe was on the other foot they'd bin you in a heartbeat, any loyalty you may have to an employer is almost certainly one-way. **** 'em, go home and spend time with your family. You'll feel better for it. Trust me, I've seen this movie before and I made myself very ill.

My notice period is 3 months.

Would it reasonably take three months to hire a replacement and bring them up to speed? If not then (AIUI) it's an unfair contract term and unenforceable.

(Hilariously, my contract has never been updated since I started. I've been here over 15 years and my notice period contractually is two weeks.)

They have advertised for a Head of safety but anyone that has applied wants 10k more than the max advertised salary. The MD is out of touch with the salary expectations.

This is not your problem.

So because they can recruit anyone for that role I end up doing ot all anyway.

This is absolutely your problem, stop it.

They'd be absolutely mental to pay someone 10k over their desired salary scale when they've already got some idiot doing the work for free. What are you going to do if the cleaner hands their notice in next week, start bleaching the bogs at 7pm?

Reading what you have said I think you need to decide is you want a smaller or bigger role.

If you want to progress to Head of Safety you need to make that clear and focus on the strategic part. If you don't want this role stop trying to do it.

One of my odd bosses once told me I had to create a vacuum. The issue was all the time I was coping (I really wasn't) other people wouldn't see the space that needed to by filled. By exiting the space others in the leadership team will see the need to fill it. Your choice is about where you create the space. Do the strategic stuff and say you need someone to do the more routine BAU stuff. Or you do the routine stuff and leave the space at the higher level. You can control this but trying to do the work of 2 or more people will ultimately never work.

Good luck and stay safe.

Totally agree with Cougar on this. I've done the "work all hours there are" thing and it gets you nowhere. The same HR appraisal bellcurve ballcocks is applied at the end of the year, with the same outcome.

Best thing I ever did was seek advice on here for a similar situation and heed it all.

One of my odd bosses once told me I had to create a vacuum.

That's an excellent way of putting it and I'm stealing it for future reference. 👍

Totally agree with Cougar on this.

Thanks.

I don't get it. I mean, I do, I've been there, "I've got all this work to do!!" But, well, yes and no. Your contract likely doesn't say "do all the work," rather it lists employment hours. That's what they're paying you for, an x hour week.

In practice I'm currently measured on performance rather than raw hours. My boss gives me what he perceives to be a day's work and if it takes me ten hours then I have a late one; if it takes me six hours then I knock off early rather than scrabbling around for more work to do (in practice I'll probably watch a training video or something). The net result is the same but I'm rewarded for being efficient. This works in my favour, because I'm good. 😁

The day I'm required to work several hours extra with nothing in return is the day I work to rule, and they won't like that. The door has to swing both ways or it gets nailed shut. Why the frank do you think I come to work in the first place, because I've nowt better to do?

Thanks all.

I think my inability to say no stems from my military background where it was frowned upon to say no.

I did want to go for the head of but know that because they wont pay enough for someone to replace me it will be expected that I'll pick up both roles.

And this is what is called "managing expectations."

They can expect what they like. Let them. This affects you how?

If they've hired you to do a new job and haven't backfilled your old post then... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As Metallica sang, "So What?"

I'm in the same boat OP. Started a new role six months ago and even though I had bad feelings about the place I still took the job because I was unemployed at the time.

Totally burnt out, unrealistic deadlines, doing the job of two or three people, boss is a total asshole.

Start looking for a new job. You can't improve a toxic workplace because the rot goes right to the top.

Once you have 'accepted' workload its harder to get rid of it, and almost easier for them to say its a performance issue.

I would be looking elsewhere, but start feeding back up the chain. I am doing 'x' that will take me 2 days, therefore I cant do 'y' who are YOU going to get to do 'y'

So long as your are working your required hours and probably a little more, and can document it they can not do the performance management.... thats not to say they cant make your life shit, but thats where you have to decide to stay or leave.

I did want to go for the head of but know that because they wont pay enough for someone to replace me it will be expected that I’ll pick up both roles.

Sounds as though you are already doing both roles so you might as well go for the job and get (presumably) paid more? As part of the negotiations you might be able to get the scope of the role better defined and influence them on realistic salary requirements for backfill of your vacated position. Worst case scenario it's going to look better on your CV for your continuing job hunt.

Apply for the head of safety role that is advertised? Treat it as a fresh start, stop working overtime and just report a realistic plan of what you'll do for each week or two. If there's no sign of improvement after that then at least you've got head of safety on your CV and can move on

These other managers only have one aspect of the business to look after whereas I am responsible for the safety of the whole business and being paid at least £5000 less a year. I know its not the point but it all just adds to the unsavoury feel I have.

There is a perception that revenue generating departments should earn more.  It's not right but instinctually it often happens particularly when times are tough.  It might be worth reminding people of the scale of the penalties attached to health and safety violations and that it is criminal rather than civil law, which the directors rather than an overworked fall guy is responsible for.

Write it all down.. how long you spent on tasks and when you started and finished work. If asked to do something else say in email that you're fully utilised. Ask them to confirm in writing that they're asking you to work over your contracted hours all the time.

It’s difficult but you do have to start pushing back and that either means saying no or adjusting expectations. If yu can’t do something until next week without working evenings then tell whoever made that request that’s when it will be done. If it gets pushed back it needs to be done before then then that’s when you need your manager to decide what’s the priority. If they can’t do that then you have to stick to your guns and tell the requestor of the new work that it will be next week and to take it up with your manager if that’s a problem.

This is the best advice on this thread. Learning how to manage your work load by forcing the decision of what to do back up to your manager. Basically forcing them to do their job rather than allowing their responsibility to be placing you. You are at work so it should be calm and rational. If you manager keeps saying you need to do both X and y you just have to restate your position that it's either or not both. If they persists then make sure it is in writing / email that you raised to issue / risk, reported it to them, no mitigation or actions were taken. Then proceed to do one of the jobs and let the other fail. stop taking responsibility for failing when you pointed out the issue

I agree with all the advice so far about managing expectations etc.

It's difficult at first but if you pipe up early and give a clear succinct summary "I have this to do which will take x number of days, but this will also be required which will also take x number of days, which should we do first?".

I've assuaged some of my own 'guilt' at this approach by trying to plan better e.g. spotting these issues further out, reacting quickly when programmes/deadlines are imposed, and also *TRYING* to accurately gauge how long things will actually take, allowing for all the inevitable embuggarances that always occur.

Basically putting your management in a situation where basically the only solution they have is to accept the delay/missed deadline, give you more help, or ask/force you to work additional hours, which, in my experience, a reasonable director rarely does and usually only when it's an exception.

Also look up 'imposter syndrome'. I've suffered from this because despite all evidence to the contrary (or rather, no evidence to confirm my doubts) I'm actually 'OK' at my job and don't need to be constantly paniccing and trying to go over and above to make up for some perceived lack of performance. I suspect I'm not the only one with that issue! If you can tell yourself that the work that you do on a daily basis is 'enough' then the stress and burnout begins to ease.

You have to lose the ex military mentality as well, you're out now, they don't own you 24 hours a day. I'm ex RAF and my current job is mostly ex mil types, including the management. They're still in the mob mentality wise, expecting more with less but as a civvies we don't play that game any more. I had a senior colleague say to me once "This department cannot fail" which is all well and good but it's not him running around making sure that it doesn't.

My line manager is great, but we get set multiple and conflicting priorities from higher up all the time, and I've had enough.

Whenever I'm told I gave a new priority I throw it back with the other priorities I've been given and force them to make the decision.
My manager has been warned that the next corporate "ra ra you all did great but we need you to do better" is likely to involve me saying very loudly that a failure to plan on their part should not involve panic on mine.

This is the best advice on this thread. Learning how to manage your work load by forcing the decision of what to do back up to your manager.

It's called Assertiveness.

When presented with a task you have three responses. Passive, assertive and aggressive.

Passive is "oh, OK then, I suppose I'll have to because no-one else will if I don't."

Aggressive is "**** you, do you think I've got the time to do that on top of everything else?"

Assertive is the middle ground. "Well, yes, I can do that, but it'll be on Tuesday at the earliest unless you'd rather I dropped a different task to prioritise this one?"

Whenever I’m told I gave a new priority I throw it back with the other priorities I’ve been given and force them to make the decision.

Boom. This is exactly what they're paid more money than you are to do.

Staying calm and not being triggered into panic / stress behaviour is key.

I had a senior colleague say to me once “This department cannot fail”

The response to which is "oh, it absolutely can unless you sort your shit out."

A manager that isn't managering ain't worth shit, that responsibility rolls upwards not downwards.

I'm sorry I haven't read all the posts but I do have empathy with your position. I know it's really hard to have perspective when you're struggling away with what feels like an impossible task, but when you are able to take (or life forces you to take) a perspective shift then it will feel obvious that change is needed and you're the only one who is going to care enough to make that change happen.

Good advice I try to use is 'what would you advise a mate in the same position?'. I bet it wouldn't be 'suck it up and crack on'.

Good luck, you sound good at your job and diligent, people who have those two attributes are rarely out of work.

I'm going to second what tj said: get it all in writing.

I know from past experience that stuff you've discussed and agreed means nothing unless you have proof. I made that mistake once with people I thought I could trust, never again. At the end of each meeting write down agreed bullet points then email them and ask for confirmation.

Just a thought, you are the health safety manager, you should be responsible for strategy not BAU, as a manager I expect to be responsible for the daily stuff and that includes writing safe methods of work, sourcing PPE and safety equipment, arranging core training, auditing my teams etc. Most businesses don't need multiple people in H & S roles, managers will shirk their duties and more importantly their responsibilities as that's H & S's job.

Where I am now the H & S manager is massively inexperienced but doesn't know it. This results in them buying PPE and doing the most basic RAMS etc., since I started I've expected my team to do all that stuff, we own it, we're responsible for it. What I need from an H & S manager is warning and advice when legislation changes, top level policies and practical advice when we're struggling, pretty much what I want from HR support.

I've had several H & S managers who were ex forces, all were pretty rubbish to be honest, worked themselves into a mess because they were so rules orientated rather than developing an H & S culture, lots of petty rules that became box ticking exercises which then became our H & S culture and did nothing to lessen real risks around the work place.

Have a think about what you are doing, I bet a lot of it should be being done by line managers.

‘what would you advise a mate in the same position?’.

Just going to call this out as a hugely valuable question. Everyone will try to protect their mates/family from crap situations even if they won't protect themselves. Use this question when you need to.

I’m sorry I haven’t read all the posts but I do have empathy with your position. I know it’s really hard to have perspective when you’re struggling away with what feels like an impossible task, but when you are able to take (or life forces you to take) a perspective shift then it will feel obvious that change is needed and you’re the only one who is going to care enough to make that change happen.

This. I’m currently tired having 0 days off since Christmas, stressed becuase the market isn’t buying and I’m under pressure to justify a new market software entrant, and a highly potential customer has just scheduled a demo / exploratory meet in the middle of Easter when we are at Center Parcs. It isn’t far away and I could be there, meet and back in 4 hrs missing the middle of the day with the kids and am struggling to think what to do.

Reschedule.

Tell the customer you are on an Easter break with your family.

Tell them you are on leave. If it’s specialist software, they aren’t just going to buy something else because of a couple of days delay.

am struggling to think what to do.

Then you're a fool.

You're on holiday with your family, by your own admission well-needed and long overdue. Any customer - sorry, potential customer - who is going to throw their toys out of the pram because of a rescheduled meeting, you likely don't want as a customer anyway because they're going to be a pain in the arse.

Plus, if no-one else in the company can do it then you're a single point of failure and that's a problem (for them). What would they do if you handed in your notice on Monday?

Unless you're a shareholder or on a six-figure salary, I'm astonished that you're even entertaining the idea let alone struggling over it.

and am struggling to think what to do.

I know that dilemma. Sit there for the week worrying it, and not being fully there in mind with your family as you are stressed, or take 4 hours out of your day to get it sorted. That will put you in a better mindset for the whole week.
When I was employed, I would often take calls whilst I was away on holiday, but would never take my laptop with me , so it was just a conversation rather than proper work. The joys of working for small companies I guess, where each individual has an important role and you don’t have countless others than can fill in for you. They never really took the piss though , and I could always be “not near my phone “ if I couldn’t be arsed.

Now I have my own company , it’s part and parcel with the job. I’ve spent time working on holiday ( clients always seem to time signing jobs off with the school holidays 🙄). I’ll wait until the kids are in bed , or slip off for a couple of hours to get stuff done, with the wife’s approval 😉.
I have had the odd time where I have had to go to site , so I’ve taken one or both of the kids with me *

* I actually do some interesting stuff , so it’s a decent day out for them and they see things that most people wouldn’t get a chance to.

and am struggling to think what to do.

I can't tell you what to do as I don’t know the details of your situation.

All I know is that when I’m on holiday emails/texts/calls go unanswered. I’ve learnt that decent customers don’t mind and the ones who throw toys around can sod off elsewhere.

Any customer – sorry, potential customer – who is going to throw their toys out of the pram

Well now I didnt say that would happen.

I’m astonished that you’re even entertaining the idea let alone struggling over it.

Because I get paid as an outcome of what I sell and after I sell it. My personal reputation is part of that as is the need to pay the bills. The higher chance of getting it sold with all of the tiny factors added in that leads to that outcome is what's conflating me.

I know rescheduling it is the best answer, but it isn't the only answer. I posted as an example of Burnout at work not for advice although I appreciate the responses. This:

struggling to think what to do

should have been:

struggling to decide which option is best.

What memories are going to pass before you as you leave the mortal plane? Time with loved ones or selling some software?

I know this is easier said than done, rearrange, explain you are on leave and you'll meet them as soon as you get back. You will be refreshed and in a better place.

What memories are going to pass before you as you leave the mortal plane? Time with loved ones or selling some software?

It’s four hours …… pretty sure the kids can find something interesting to do and won’t even miss him 😉

pretty sure the kids can find something interesting to do

Crazy Golf and Pedalo's, but twisted pencil is right.

They are buying the software, not a relationship with you. Go on holiday and deal with it when you are back

It's not four hours, there's mental prep work for it and mentally processing the meeting afterwards. I've done it in the past, it's not worth it. I now plan holidays that have piss poor mobile and data connections 😀

Some would also say 4hrs away from Centre Parcs is a win! 🤣

And there’s loads of people on here who think nothing of going for a big ride while staying at Centre Parcs.

But It’s easy for us to sit and judge. My dad used to cancel a full weeks holiday so he could get a job completed.

Crazy Golf and Pedalo’s, but twisted pencil is right.

Yes, of course TP is right, but ultimately…

Because I get paid as an outcome of what I sell and after I sell it. My personal reputation is part of that as is the need to pay the bills. The higher chance of getting it sold with all of the tiny factors added in that leads to that outcome is what’s conflating me.

Week at Pontins in Brean next year then 😎

This. I’m currently tired having 0 days off since Christmas, stressed becuase the market isn’t buying and I’m under pressure to justify a new market software entrant, and a highly potential customer has just scheduled a demo / exploratory meet in the middle of Easter when we are at Center Parcs. It isn’t far away and I could be there, meet and back in 4 hrs missing the middle of the day with the kids and am struggling to think what to do.

I really hope you're being paid very well or are on a good bonus scheme for this because these are things a company shareholder should be concerned by, not an employee. And that company shareholder will usually be delegating the 'doing' to someone else to give themself time to worry about everything.

Because I get paid as an outcome of what I sell and after I sell it. My personal reputation is part of that as is the need to pay the bills.

OK, that's fair. Point stands though, if they're going to be nobby about you taking a weekend off then they're probably going to be more trouble than they're worth long-term. I've seen this particular movie before. The more of an arse someone is pre-sales, the more likely that their Arsehole Quotient is going to rise exponentially after the empowerment of how much money they've just handed over.

Me, I'd be off to Center Parcs with a spring in my step and a wildly optimistic hope that the rumours from Mumsnet are true. The whole point of a holiday is to get away from work and unwind. Taking out half a day (plus the whole mental process either side) defeats the object, you may as well be in the office.

It's a few days, they can wait or they'd have paid up already. Can you bring the meeting forward maybe? (Since when do customers schedule demos anyway, isn't that your job? Who agreed to it on your side? What would you do if it clashed with another customer meeting rather than a holiday?)

Assertive is the middle ground. “Well, yes, I can do that, but it’ll be on Tuesday at the earliest unless you’d rather I dropped a different task to prioritise this one?”

I'm currently looking at Q3 2024 to solve urgent issues that need dealing with before end of June this year.

struggling to decide which option is best.

Least bad you mean.

As a salesman of medium enterprise software I fully understand why you should feel the need to break your holiday to do the presentation.

I once had to leave our holiday stay in Norfolk to nip up to Bradford to accompany my prospect on a site visit. Still it meant that I was able to get a takeaway from The Karachi for the family evening meal. And even better, to leave a menu in the pile in the rental. I still smile thinking about the conversation at the end of the order. "What's the address? Where's Sheringham? Is that up Little Horton Lane?"

Any chance of making it 5 days at center parcs? 4 hours is no big deal.

On the other hand when you say you've had no days off since Christmas are you including weekends? You need some days off if so.

I’m currently looking at Q3 2024 to solve urgent issues that need dealing with before end of June this year.

Oops 🙂

'My personal reputation is part of that as is the need to pay the bills.'

Your reputation will be that you're cannon fodder, and honestly , who actually cares. That had better be some damn good software

The graveyard is full of irreplaceable people.

If there's still work that needs doing after 5 o'clock - it's not my problem there isn't enough people to do it🤷‍♂️

Don’t worry about notice periods, you can start a new job tomorrow. Theoretically your current employer could sue you for breach of contract but not a realistic outcome. When they bleat at you just total up the extra hours you’ve done which unfortunately probably equals more than your notice period.

I’ve had the work induced nervous breakdown, two months on the sick, renegotiated the whole job but still left and not looked back.

If there’s still work that needs doing after 5 o’clock – it’s not my problem there isn’t enough people to do it

Unless you're not quick enough, anyway. There's a few staff I can think of in my place whose output is far lower than some others who also still finish at 5.

Pretty much every answer on this thread is spot on. I hope you listen to it OP.

I started saying NO a few years ago. It really is scary, you think you’re going to be treated as a dickhead. It takes balls to start saying No after years of just getting in with everything. But after a few firm No’s it’s like a new beginning. It means you can all agree what is and isn’t going to get done. When someone disagrees, they get to decide which things get replaced in the stop pile, they don’t get both things in the Go pile.
Try it. You might quite enjoy it.

Oh and turn your phone OFF at weekends and put it in a drawer and don’t charge it. Those things are like the sirens of the lake, they’ll drag you in!

Just say no. One of our senior managers was having a turnip as I wouldn’t answer my phone to him. Advised him to call before half three as I finish then and won’t be taking calls after that. Firms will chew you up and spit you out wrecking family life and relationships. Be more French and take care of you and yours.

Just on my issue... I asked the customer politely to move the date and they have moved it back a week, problem solved, uninterrupted holiday! Well, one problem solved anyway but another arose - my presales SME who would demo the software to requirements is on leave that day.... I'll figure that out later!

my presales SME who would demo the software to requirements is on leave that day…. I’ll figure that out later!

Am I missing something here? This is how meetings work, you negotiate a time when everyone who needs to be included is available. Can the customer not push it back eight days instead of seven?

(apologies, I've got you and the OP crossed in my head)