[Closed] Bumbling about being happy with a general sense of well being

Ecstasy.

it's a choice... people (mostly) choose to be miserable or happy. Once you get your mind into it, it's all good.

I've had a 'testing' year... but it's not thrown me... I just smile and find happiness.

How Weeksy? I can't get my head around how people do that.

Kryton57 - Member

How Weeksy? I can't get my head around how people do that.

For me it's a mortality/other people thing.

I look at life and think "FFS, at least I'm not dead/terminal/crippled" etc.

Even this year we lost a house sale as we had a 40m wide lake lapping at our doorstep for a week, it was 24" deep and about 3mm from flooding. But you know what, there were people 1 mile away who HAD flooded, lost their posessions, home, etc. We were lucky. Once you see the positive aspect, it's all good.

I'm also the eternal optimist, I believe because of the person I am, good things will eventually come. They've now fixed the flooding/drains, our house exchanged last week and we're buying our dream home. It's all good.

IME, the really valuable and worthwhile achievements in life that make you happy, bumbling around with a general sense of well being, are achieved through stress, anxiety and fear. Other things as well, of course, but these are the fuels that make the fire rise.

One of life's paradoxes, learning how to balance the two forces.

Moping about being miserable with a general sense of foreboding....FTFY 🙁

I agree with Weeksy - it's predominantly a choice. I don't think we're born with a glass half full/empty disposition but it's how we perceive the world.

Once I worked out what actually made me happy (not the BS that the media men tell us does) then I found the choice much easier. It is entirely possible that I become less tolerant as I get older but I still see the positive in things 😉

Hmm. See now, whereas I constantly fight pessimism. I'm in McD's in Kent awaiting the office to open annoyed at getting up at 5am to get here, only to find out my colleagues with the office keys couldnt be arsed. Now, to take your stance, I'm sitting confortably enjoying a warm drink as the sun comes up across the Medway towns - there's worse to life.

Nope, I still feel in black mood.

Now, to take your stance, I'm sitting confortably enjoying a warm drink as the sun comes up across the Medwat towns - there's air worse to life.

And being paid for it. And have a nice car to drive to get there. Bit of music, bit of peace and quiet and FFS, what's to be unhappy about.

If you were sitting there about to visit your dying mother, or the tax man you owe £10,000 to, then sure, be gloomy. But you're not. You're going to spend a few hours in an office, warm, dry, comfy, drinking coffee.

You are sat in a McDonalds drinking coffee and you are moaning because you can't be at work? Have a sausage and egg mcmuffin.

Don't aim for happy. Aim for content. Much more achievable.

Now, to take your stance, I'm sitting confortably enjoying a warm drink as the sun comes up across the Medway towns - there's worse to life.

You could actually live there! I'd be grateful I'd travelled to the place and will be leaving it again later.

Well, I've a few other fairly issues which I'm not going to air, I just used that as an example. But yes, no one is dying.

I'm really wondering how to get from glass half empty to glass half full on a permanent basis as I'm fed up waking up glum. As Nobby eluded to, we are not born that way, kids are an example of that. We learn it, so it must be possible to unlearn / un apply it.

Back to the OP then, how do others achieve it?

Well, I've a few other fairly issues which I'm not going to air, I just used that as an example

As do we all mate, most days... everyone has varying levels of crap going on on a regular basis. But WTF can you do, let it drag you down, or accept it, move on and get on with the things you can do.

Sorry to be all scientific, but I find this helps me. Your mood is goverened by chemicals in your brain. More of them (serotonin for one, I think) and you feel happy, less and you feel sad.

It's really got nothing to do with your conscious mind or your life - it's chemical. That's why two people can look at the same situation (see this thread) and one can be happy and one miserable. It's also why you can feel wonderfully happy by taking a simple drug. It's the equivalent of turning up the happiness dial on a robot.

Our brains usually produce more or less of these chemicals based on external stimuli or thoughts, but if they don't - boom, you're miserable. It's like being diabetic but in your brain.

As Nobby eluded to, we are not born that way, kids are an example of that.

Don't believe that. It's very easy to see which one of my kids is going to struggle with her state of mind when she's older.

Bumbling about being happy with a general sense of well being

Sounds like me. Great marriage, great kids, work two days a week and the rest is spent with my kids or just being general house husband. I'm skintish but my quality of life and contentedness has never been better. Don't need three holidays a year or a new flash car.

I've always been a glass half full kinda guy and never more so than now when I am probably materially poorer than at any point in my adult life.

I'm really wondering how to get from glass half empty to glass half full on a permanent basis as I'm fed up waking up glum. As Nobby eluded to, we are not born that way, kids are an example of that. We learn it, so it must be possible to unlearn / un apply it.

I'm not entirely sure this is true. Whilst we have vastly more flexibility in our thought patterns than say are height, there are limits to how much we can alter either of them. If you are malnourished as a child you won't grow to your full height. No amount of eating later in life is going to compensate.

tis monday and you got out of bed on the wrong side again.
Stay calm and dont let crap wind you up. Have something to eat.

Yeah, Weeksy's right. It's perspective. You can look at almost anything in a positive light.
I was over in India in the summer. I am glad to live here in the UK.

I'm a happy person. I'm lucky to have been born healthy, intelligent, male, white, handsome and in a first world country. That's winning the lottery of life.

I also think a lot of people's unhappiness is due to following what is considered 'the way' - get career job, get married, get house, have kids, get car etc.
A lot is sacrificed to it. Your time, and you go into debt for it. Once you are in debt you become a slave to your job. And stress.

I've always been very careful about money. Don't take out finance on things, don't have sky tv for example. Always find a good deal.
My monthly bills are £207.
I paid £2k cash up front for my car. My pal spends £300 odd a month on his Honda Civic AFTER paying a few grand up front.

By not being in financial servitude I can do what I want. For example, quitting one of my jobs in the new year. It has become stressful and I won't work in a job that causes me stress. My other job is only 1.5 days a week, but I manage my own workload and it more than covers my financial requirements.
So, I'll hand in my notice in February and walk away in March and start going camping, cycling, woodworking and playing in a band again. Knowing I'm doing that has dropped the stress off of me.

Honestly, if you've never worked part time (as an adult) it is a revelation. You realise how much working full time takes from you. And you end up needing the extra money as you have so little time you can't do things that save you money. Brew your own beer. Cook big fresh dinners that will feed you for lunches for the rest of the week. Have to pay someone to come cut your grass or fix your car because you don't have time.

Sorry to be all scientific, but I find this helps me. Your mood is goverened by chemicals in your brain. More of them (serotonin for one, I think) and you feel happy, less and you feel sad.

It's really got nothing to do with your conscious mind or your life - it's chemical. That's why two people can look at the same situation (see this thread) and one can be happy and one miserable. It's also why you can feel wonderfully happy by taking a simple drug. It's the equivalent of turning up the happiness dial on a robot.

Probably preaching to the converted on here but that is why you should go ride your bike, or whatever form of exercise you can squeeze in, as often as you can manage it. Don't skimp on this. If man-flu/being busy at work/bad weather keeps me off my bike for any length of time I end up in the slough of despond in pretty short order.

It never ceases to amaze me the positive difference it makes to my default mood setting across the board, never mind during the time I am actually engaged in the activity itself. It has to be doing something to my brain chemistry at a fundamental level.

[quote="yourguitarhero"]<snip>wise words</snip>

Yep. Sell all the crap you don't need or use. Don't get into finance for anything (except a house if you really have to) and appreciate what you've got rather than aspiring to own more/better/shinier/whiter/blacker/greyer/wider/thinner/fatter/rounder/flatter. Mute the advert breaks on telly and take 'Fresh Goods Friday' and other new product pages with a pinch of low sodium salt substitute. Don't do Christmas, do loved ones' birthdays instead. Grow your own veg if you can, brew your own wine/beer and live as simply as possible without resorting to mud huts and pooing in a ditch.

Socialism isn't wrong or bad, it just hasn't been given a proper go 😀

edit: +1 for just riding a bike for a bit. Even a short 5 miler on a steel clunker will have you grinning like a buffoon for most of the day.

edited again: Yes, 'content' is good. Happy is built on content.

Don't believe that. It's very easy to see which one of my kids is going to struggle with her state of mind when she's older.

Then surely you should try & deal with it now?

I'm not entirely sure this is true. Whilst we have vastly more flexibility in our thought patterns than say are height, there are limits to how much we can alter either of them. If you are malnourished as a child you won't grow to your full height. No amount of eating later in life is going to compensate

I was speaking purely from personal experience. 25 years ago I was very much the pessimist & went to a very dark place during a full meltdown. With some help and a lot of soul-searching I turned a corner & retrained my default position to positive - not saying it's easy but it's achievable.

In the last few years I've watched a family member recover from being a catastrophist to a happy, contented person so believe it can be done. We are, after all, pretty sophisticated machines.

Whilst we have vastly more flexibility in our thought patterns than say are height, there are limits to how much we can alter either of them

Yep. If your brain chemistry is a particular way, you see everything through shit coloured glasses that you cannot take off.

Biking, for example, can seem like a right chore. Trails are muddy, bike is ****ed, can't be bothered riding badly round the same bloody trails again and again. Riding round Moab might inspire me but I can't afford it and will never go.. etc.

Then surely you should try & deal with it now?

What do you think we do, every day? 🙂

not saying it's easy but it's achievable.

Not for everyone. Sometimes telling people they can fix it helps, sometimes it doesn't.

"Great, so it's my fault I'm miserable. That just confirms what a useless git I am" - and so on.

I'm in a great mood, even on a Monday. I woke up to a stunning sunrise over the hills. So I set off to work early, and stopped on the pennine bridleway to take some photo's of the amazing views over the hills

It also helps that I'm a simpleton. Idiots generally tend to be happier 😀

[i]"I've always wanted to be happy, so I decided I would be" [/i]

Neil 'Nello' Baldwin

I don't think it's as easy as some think - I know I should be very content these days, but there's still times I get really grumpy for very silly reasons. It seems as a "glass half empty type" the first reaction will be negative, no matter how much I don't want to be like that. Mind, having read this, I'm now going to try to be positive about working with a difficult colleague today - but there I go, I'm not even at work yet and already calling him difficult!

[i] to take some photo's[/i]

I'm in a decent mood most of the time, and it was going to cheer me up further to be able to remonstrate Binners on his apostrophe usage. Then I realised that "photo's" is an abbreviation of "photgraphs", so now I'm not sure if he's right or not.

Stupid Binners, he's killed my high. 👿

I’m a glass half full type of person. Saying that, there are times stuff can get to me, but when that happens, I actively shift myself back to a positive place.

I have “ready made” thoughts, music and things to look at for when I need to boost my mood – and I will often have a word with myself if I find myself getting edgy.

All it takes is to build your mood management tools and learn to talk yourself back to positivity and you’ll be amazed by the improvement it makes to your wellbeing.

There’s a very good book by Jack Canfield called The Success Principles which covers a lot of this stuff as well as lots of other very good things. Highly recommended.

🙂

IHN - Member
to take some photo's

But herein lies part of the issue; My photos - mostly of a dark dreary A2 on the way into deepest Kent at 6:00am from inside my car - would have a vastly different perspective than Binners, regardless of whether I was smiling behind the camera

[/complex metaphor]

Perhaps being content is a better goal than being Happy all the time.

To a large part, It's all about perspective and realising that getting wound up about trivial things is a waste of your time and energy. It also helps to be able to let go of things and appreciate that you can't influence or change everything you would like to in life and realise that it really is ok to accept that.

Have a watch of this video, IMHO it makes some very valid and helpful points.

Its all about perspective. Some people are unhappy, when in reality they don't know they're bloody born. I'd recommend losing absolutely everything. Its a hellish thing to happen to anyone, but when you come out the other side of it, it doesn't half make you appreciate what's [i]really[/i] important. And it isn't the meaningless crap we're constantly told is meant to matter

Sorry Molgrips, just read that back & I didn't mean it to sound like it's written! 😳

Not for everyone. Sometimes telling people they can fix it helps, sometimes it doesn't.

"Great, so it's my fault I'm miserable. That just confirms what a useless git I am" - and so on.

Fantastic example - I read my point as "great, there is something I can do to make myself feel better". Perhaps I should try & think 'half empty' before I type...

Your mood is goverened by chemicals in your brain

Not if you have teenagers it isn't. It's governed by chemicals in [i]their[/i] brain.

I used to be a pretty happy cheerful sort of person but the combination of some very stressful times at work and living with a particularly stressful teenager means that now I just pretend most of the time. I feel as though a part of me has died.

Riding a bike helps. I still find it impossible to be unhappy on a bike.

Agreed on perspective, there is always somebody worse off than you and it is about lifting your dead up and looking around to notice it.

I also think you need to look at your life and find the things that make you unhappy and do something about it. I know so many people who dislike their job, area they live in, partner, certain family members, weight etc but don't do anything to change the situation. All these small annoyances add up and bring your mood down.

Not for everyone. Sometimes telling people they can fix it helps, sometimes it doesn't.

"Great, so it's my fault I'm miserable. That just confirms what a useless git I am" - and so on.

Extending that to this place and the genuinely depressed individuals, I remember some poor sod standing up and expressing a desire to end his life and being told to go take a gander at the 'Bruders Thread' to get life into perspective or something similar. It demonstrated to me a complete lack of understanding of depression TBH.

Similarly, the other day I was expressing an unshakable urge to pop off - the method was the undecided aspect - and the words "Yeah, the weather has been a bit grey and overcast recently, hasn't it?"

In my head - 'Oh, right. I'll just move to the ***kin' equator or somewhere the sun is shining regularly, then...'

Some folk will never understand the meaning of the word 'depression'.

I also have to echo that being content is achievable and maintainable but happiness is almost always a fleeting thing...

Extending that to this place and the genuinely depressed individuals, I remember some poor sod standing up and expressing a desire to end his life and being told to go take a gander at the 'Bruders Thread' to make get life into perspective or something similar. It demonstrated to me a complete lack of understanding of depression TBH.

Similarly, the other day I was expressing an unshakable urge to pop off - the method was the undecided aspect - and the words "Yeah, the weather has been a bit grey and overcast recently, hasn't it?"

In my head - 'Oh, right. I'll just move to the ***kin' equator or somewhere the sun is shining regularly, then...'

Some folk will never understand the meaning of the word 'depression'.

I also have to echo that being content is achievable and maintainable but happiness is almost always a fleeting thing...

Kryton isn't depressed, he's just a miserable sod today.

Not if you have teenagers it isn't. It's governed by chemicals in their brain.

😆

Some folk will never understand the meaning of the word 'depression'

Yep. Thankfully I don't suffer from it, but my wife does to a moderate extent, and I've gained some insight trying to talk to her when she's low. If she talks back, that is, which she usually won't.

And yes - Kryton isn't depressed currently but depression is an extreme form of his half-emptiness...

Spend quality time, without distractions, with your family.
Avoid materialism.
Make/fix stuff with your own hands.
Ride your bike.

Whenever I'm not satisfying this list I get grumpy but it doesn't take much exposure to least one or two to sort life out.

lifting your dead up

hooli may have quote of the day 🙂

I like to have a good mix of pure grumpy days and some with a brigther outlook, generally I'm thought of as grumpy though, although more often than not I'm just quiet and it is taken as grumpy.

Kryton isn't depressed, he's just a miserable sod today.

That's what you think, you just don't know me well enough. I went through proper diagnosed depression in 2001 after some serious issues of which I still bear mental scars. That (in my mind) has lead to my glass half empty and indecisive - not wanting to do the wrong thing - view of the world, but I'd like to change that.

I'd like to change that.

That might be unattainable. It might just be a case of learning to manage it effectively enough to get on with the basics.

Grumpiness and happiness are mutually compatible though. Complimentary even. I find its my general all round grumpiness that makes me happy

[img] ?1351128742[/img]

kryton57 - have you ever had a course in CBT? Talk to your GP about it. I found it very useful, even if only from the insight it gave me into the kinds of feelings I get, how common and well-recognised this mental state is and how you can challenge your thoughts.
Telling people to look on the bright side does not work I fear.

I can highly recommend SSRIs, I used to be quite tense and neurotic 24/7, but for the last 6 years have been far more chilled about everything, mainly down to one 20mg pill I take every day. Bloody brilliant invention...

Kryton
It's a tough gig when you are wired different.
Find a plan that will work for your schematic.
Stick to the plan.

Good luck

I also think you need to look at your life and find the things that make you unhappy and do something about it

+1

Life is too short to just exist and be unhappy. If your marriage is a mess, either sort it out...or get divorced. If your job does your head in day after day, sort it out.... or get a new job. If you have a friend who continually lets you down, talk to them about it and try and change things... or move on and find new friends.

Sounds drastic perhaps, but often the things we endure and complain about are within our control to change, if we want to. Short term pain versus long term gain.

fasthaggis - Member
Kryton
It's a tough gig when you are wired different.
Find a plan that will work for your schematic.
Stick to the plan.

Good luck

Thanks for the sentiment but lets nor feel sorry for me in this thread - I am very very fortunate in life generally and so much more than a lot of other people. I shouldn't really be feeling this way at all but

wired different

The hardest thing in modern Western life is to just 'be'.

You hit it on the head. I figured this a long time ago (14 yrs now) and slip back and forth between an unredeemed life and a fulfilling one depending on where my head is at. The one constant indicator that something is wrong and I need a 'reset' is when I start thinking of/fearing the future and regretting the past.. Whenever I'm not in the moment (just 'being') then unhappiness and malaise is waiting eagerly to fill up my glass. Along with this is an increased worry about the World in general, I heap it all on my shoulders. Cynicism, self focus (unhealthy) and materialistic concerns mount up in a bad way. It's like losing al your senses, like you can never experience the world as a child again, you see new things but think you know all about them so never actually experience new things. Half my family are depressive and have been medicated (self included) at different times. I have many friends who are depressed. Unhealthy self-focus is a feature in all.

I found a book recently via serendipity. I scoffed at the title but reading it felt like an old friend.

'The Power Of Now' - Eckhart Tolle. Can't recommend highly enough.

Some people reeeally don't get it, do they?

I also think you need to look at your life and find the things that make you unhappy and do something about it

The list will never get shorter, no matter what you do.

Spend quality time, without distractions, with your family.
Avoid materialism.
Make/fix stuff with your own hands.
Ride your bike.

Won't work.

What you're doing is the equivalent of telling a colour blind person to simply pick the red one instead of the green one. It's obvious, isn't it?

Riding a bike helps. I still find it impossible to be unhappy on a bike.

Unless of course it's a road bike. 😉

Molgrips is right.

Malvern Rider - Member
The hardest thing in modern Western life is to just 'be'.

You hit it on the head. I figured this a long time ago (14 yrs now) and slip back and forth between an unredeemed life and a fulfilling one depending on where my head is at. The one constant indicator that something is wrong and I need a 'reset' is when I start thinking of/fearing the future and regretting the past.. Whenever I'm not in the moment (just 'being') then unhappiness and malaise is waiting eagerly to fill up my glass. Along with this is an increased worry about the World in general, heap it all on my shoulders.

I found a book recently via serendipity. I scoffed at the title but reading it felt like an old friend.

'The Power Of Now' - Eckhart Tolle. Can't recommend highly enough.

An excellent description in parallel with how I feel - not just me then. I'm halfway through that book - thanks for reminding me of it/the content, it certainly is very helpful.

footflaps - Member
I can highly recommend SSRIs, I used to be quite tense and neurotic 24/7, but for the last 6 years have been far more chilled about everything, mainly down to one 20mg pill I take every day. Bloody brilliant invention...

footflaps - How you can just recommend them like that with no reference to the downside is pretty irresponsible in my view.

Very happy for you that you've found them helpful but people should know that it can be as addictive as crack cocaine and has frightening side effects. My Mum went through a bad patch due to external issues around 20 years ago. Seroxat helped her through that bad patch which only lasted a few years but she has found it impossible to get off them and so 20 years later she is still on them with several long term side effects that she is living with.

SSRI's should be an extreme last resort and make sure you do your research. Don't listen to your GP that just hands them out like smarties (and definitely don't listen to a random person on an internet forum...).

I am very very fortunate in life generally and so much more than a lot of other people. I shouldn't really be feeling this way at all but

It has nowt to do with your wealth and everything to do with your health.

I also think you need to look at your life and find the things that make you unhappy and do something about it

The list will never get shorter, no matter what you do.

I'm sorry mate, but that is utter, total and complete cobblers!!! 😆

Some people reeeally don't get it, do they?

Quite.

If you've never been clinically depressed yourself or lived with someone with clinical depression, please, for the love of god shut the * up about it, you haven't got a * clue.

I'm sorry mate, but that is utter, total and complete cobblers!!!

It depends on the root cause, binners.

If there are external things making you unhappy, then fine, fixing them will make it stop - this is very obvious.

However, it's not always external things. Sometimes it's your own brain doing it to you. This is what the thread is about.

Riding a bike helps. I still find it impossible to be unhappy on a bike.

Unless it creaks.

footflaps - How you can just recommend them like that with no reference to the downside is pretty irresponsible in my view.

You can't just walk into Boots and buy them. As for downsides, there is always someone who has a bad reaction to any drug. You wouldn't discount antibiotics for an infection just because some people are allergic to penicillin.

(and definitely don't listen to a random person on an internet forum...).

You do realise that applies as much to you as me...

Riding a bike helps. I still find it impossible to be unhappy on a bike.
Unless it creaks.

😆

Today you're annoyed at the guy with the keys, something beyond your control. Only worry about things you can do something about. And do something.

OP - It might be a coincidence/reading too far but could be a clue in the word you chose to describe a state of happiness as 'bumbling about'

bumbling
?b?mb(?)l??,?b?mbl??/
adjective
acting in a confused or ineffectual way; incompetent.
"he's a bumbling fool"

As soon as I realise I'm

Bumbling about being happy with a general sense of well being

Spend quality time, without distractions, with your family.

Avoid materialism.

I've always thought that the people who say they're happy to be poor, either have never been properly poor, or have no imagination.

Make/fix stuff with your own hands.

Ride your bike.

So that would be me being a half empty person then...

I'm in a pretty good place compared to most, but god's it feels like I have to work at it - even to maintain the facade that its all OK...

[i] That (in my mind) has lead to my glass half empty and indecisive - not wanting to do the wrong thing - view of the world, but I'd like to change that.

[/i]

Sometimes there is no right thing or wrong thing, it just a choice of one thing or another. CBT is helpful with this stuff.

[i]If you've never been clinically depressed yourself or lived with someone with clinical depression, please, for the love of god shut the * up about it, you haven't got a * clue. [/i]

I wouldn't go quite that far, but I agree with the sentiment. Depression is incredibly misunderstood, even by those who have it and those who live with those who have it. Those who have no first hand experience of it have very, very, little chnce of understanding it.

Therefore you have to work hard (= stress) to afford them

No... no... you really don't

I also think you need to look at your life and find the things that make you unhappy and do something about it

Some people reeeally don't get it, do they?

We are talking about different things here. There are people who are clinically depressed and these people need professional help as they cant "snap out of it".

There are also those who are feeling a bit meh/stuck in a rut/dis-interested and these people can help themselves by removing things that make them unhappy and improving their outlook.

You are doing a dis-service to mental health by presuming people in the second category are the same as the first.

acting in a confused or ineffectual way; incompetent.
"he's a bumbling fool"

Ah, I see you're acquainted with Kryton, then...

🙂

You are doing a dis-service to mental health by presuming people in the second category are the same as the first.

I think, from what Kryton said in his OP, that he is in the latter category although not currently clinically depressed.

The question is why he feels miserable when there is a bright side and he even knows what it is? It's because of his brain, in my opinion.

We are talking about different things here. There are people who are clinically depressed and these people need professional help as they cant "snap out of it".

There are also those who are feeling a bit meh/stuck in a rut/dis-interested and these people can help themselves by removing things that make them unhappy and improving their outlook.

You are doing a dis-service to mental health by presuming people in the second category are the same as the first.

It's not a black and white boundary though, we all sit somewhere on a normal distribution of 'happiness', with some people born innately cheery no matter what and other clinically depressed etc. Our position on the curve also moves about a bit based on circumstances.

Where the line is drawn between 'clinically' depressed / just pretty miserable is always slightly subjective and some people will spend their whole lives wandering around that boundary.

CBT / Drugs can help people move their steady state position a bit (and in some cases a bit more), but you're never going to go from one extreme to the other. And if you're at one extreme you'll never really have a clue what it's like being at the other...

Remember guys, life's short and hard - like a bodybuilding elf

I live in Australia 😀

Great if you're riding well. One of the worst, most depressing things ever (for me anyway) if I'm not on it. The money (must be £100k+ over the last 20 years)

😯

radtothepowerofsik - Member
I live in Australia

I concur with weaksy completely.

challenging year that tested PMA but have turned things around in a huge number of ways. Now considering options over jobs which will make significant changes to life and the future potentially.

footflaps - How you can just recommend them like that with no reference to the downside is pretty irresponsible in my view.
You can't just walk into Boots and buy them. As for downsides, there is always someone who has a bad reaction to any drug. You wouldn't discount antibiotics for an infection just because some people are allergic to penicillin.

(and definitely don't listen to a random person on an internet forum...).
You do realise that applies as much to you as me...

You're right you can't just buy them from Boots but you can get them free from your GP without too much of a struggle.

You recommended people take a drug that can be as addictive as crack cocaine without any warning of the downsides, I only recommended people do their research before going down that road.

You recommended people take a drug that can be as addictive as crack cocaine without any warning of the downsides, I only recommended people do their research before going down that road.

All drugs have side affects and some pretty innocuous ones can kill some people. So your mum had a bad experience, millions don't. Get over it.

I've had depression for about as long as I can remember, it has, at several points in my life, had a very destructive and negative effect on both me and the people I love. It was only when I began to understand that my mind is just a part of me that I began to feel better. I still have existential panic attacks on a regular basis and fear and unhappiness are always in the background, but I don't try to hide from these feelings. I try to live in the moment at all times, find beauty in every situation and when I feel low or depressed, I don't hide from it, I confront it, I share it with my beautiful wife and we move on from it. I find comfort in the meaninglessness of the things we tend to worry about.

I also don't watch adverts or the news...

Try meditating (never thought it would be something I would do, but it is excellent) and remember that we are only here once, so try to appreciate every moment in the moment, which is the really difficult part...

Sorry, sound like a proper hippy, just think this is an approach which can work.

You are not "wired" in any particular way, there are glass half full and half empty people, their attitudes are learnt from people and experiences. If people wish to change they can. Its not easy but possible. The brains thought patterns and even physical shape can change with the right training.

Medical drugs can help but I have had good and bad experiences and they are no magic bullet. Great if your in the throws of a serious nervous breakdown but not so good else where IMO.

The balance of happy chemicals Serotonine, Dopamine and Norepinephine do control how you feel and to an extent how you percieve life, but your brain controls the hormones that allow the creation of these chemicals.

CBT can help change thought patterns and many people find it helpful, certainly the world would be a calmer place if this was taught in schools! I don't this this is all you need to know.

Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy [url= http://mbct.co.uk/ ]http://mbct.co.uk/[/url] I am finding very useful. Using this you can control the feelings you get. This is subconsious telling you you have not done enough, could have done more or better or different!

To answer the OP the feeling of contentment I believe is attainable, some lucky people already have it. No doubt making physical changes to your life helps, making changes to the way you handle life is also a key point. My current thinking is how you choose to use your brain is crucial. Trying to break negative thoughts and patterns and replacing them with good ones. Along with staying positive, down time with people you love, riding and fixing my bike.

Doing things like riding does help me to stop thinking, they also release the feel good chemicals so a bonus all round, just dont over exercise if you objective is to just feel good.

I'd agree that consumerism is not good for a happy state of mind, it hooks into the need to have part of the brain, as soon as you get it you want something else.

As I think someone has said, to get to the state where you are just "being" rather than "doing". To get the brain to stop going round in circles, thinking this and that. Just being content is a state of mind you can train yourself to attain.

There are lots of books written about MCBT, I have recently read [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sane-New-World-Taming-Mind/dp/1444755730 ]this[/url] and found it very informative, plenty of humour and science.

Apologies for the monolog.