[Closed] Budgies

I hope that's not a euphmism 😯

My great aunt Ada had a budgie called Banjo.

Why?

I smuggle them in my Speedo's

was she trying to reach a high shelf?

She was walking into the kitchen when Bobbie was walking back out.

Crunch.

I wonder what the last thing to go through his mind was?

oh yeah, his arse.

...but seriously, that's terrible. She must feel awful.

Imagine it from Bobbie's perspective.

Gone for a quiet noctural strole in the kitchen than flatened by a slipper the 4 times longer than he is.

When I die I don't want it to happen under a slipper the size of double garage.

It's like something out of One Foot In The Grave.

😆

when my wife was teaching in Bristol she asked the kids to write about what they did in the holidays.

at the end one kid approached her distraught and handed her a confession along the lines of;

"I killed the class hamster in the holidays. I crouched down so I could put him in my lap but he jumped off and as I leaned forward to catch him I toppled over and knelt on him and his guts came out of his mouth."

Of course the kids mother hadn't mentioned a word of this when she'd turned up with the cage and hamster that morning and said what a lovely time they'd had with it during the holiday.

An ex-girlfriend of mine squished her hamster*

Perhaps great aunt Ada called her budgie Banjo because it kept plucking itself.

*not a euphemism

my dog ate ours. I deduced this from the guily look, feathers and absence of budgie

I had a canary called Stanley who flew into a "living flame" fire.

It was a one way ticket.

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