[Closed] Brother-in-law's stag do - I don't really want to go

Go...get to know him and his mates a bit better and then you'll enjoy the wedding more as well.

I say suck it up. Make a good start to things. Who knows you might enjoy it and make some new friends. I had the same thing for my BiLs stag. His mates regularly ring me up to go for a beer now.

he is about to be a part of your family and you get to meet him and all his mates whilst larking around...of course you should go ...unless he is a complete dick or you are

Am I being unreasonable and I should just suck it up, after all it will just be a couple of hours of my life?

Yes. He's going to be your brother in law - it'll be a chance to get to know him.

Will you regret not going? maybe at the wedding, when all the men are having a laugh about the stag, and you no doubt will have to mingle with them anyway?

You are an adult aren't you?

Go, you might make new friends and at the very least get to know the new family a bit better.

Also, I don't really know him all that well.

You'll know him (and mates) and darn site better after the event. My bro-in-laws stag doo was similar format - I knew no one before hand, but it made the wedding itself great. And still chat to the mates a few years later/have camping trips etc...

Go. Egg all his mates on to force him to shotgun cans of Special Brew, while doing alternate tequila slammers, then bay like a gang of jackals as you force him to sit at the front of a lap dancing club for private dances, then make him drink more until he grand slams and passes out. Then shrink wrap him to the bonnet of Horas car

Go.

It will be one of those occasions where you dread going but end up having a right laugh. Just be open minded and sociable.

go, tell loads of inappropriate stories about your wife (his sister) and make them both regret inviting you.

What's the activity?

You'll probably find you'll have a really good time if you go. Every stag do I've been on people have been pretty inclusive and friendly when it comes to attendees who are late arrivals or on their tod etc.

I don't really know him all that well.

tell loads of inappropriate stories about your wife (his sister) and make them both regret inviting you.

HTH

from the OP

So my sis is getting married in August

As someone has said, you're an adult (I assume) so either:

- don't go if you don't want to, as an adult you can make that decision

or

- go and meet new people, as an adult you should be more than capable of it

Or, in STW vernacular, MTFU

well if your sister is marrying your wife's brother i would say take a banjo and have a duel

😀

I shud realy lern to reed

Why don't you just take 1 close mate to go with you so you're not competently socially awkward.

Then play drink the beers.

Or, in STW vernacular, MTFU

Sounds to me like the perfect opportunity to get to know your future BiL better. After a few beers I'm sure any awkwardness will disappear anyway.

If you already think he's a dick maybe give it a miss, someone you dislike on their stag do would just multiply the effect, but if you don't know him that well go, it'll be reet - probably.

I’ve been on a couple where future BILs have been asked. Generally they have been fine but one did get a bit uppity when the groom was telling the group about his future wife’s bedroom preferences and later when the groom disappeared for ‘afters’ at a lap dancing place.

I was invited on my BILs before he married my sister, I went karting in the afternoon, then onto a pub for a meal/few beers. I left before things got too raucous, but that was mainly because I didn't like him or his mates much.

So I guess it depends on how you perceive your sister and how much of a nobber the groom is?

Had this a couple of years ago. My wife made me go, didn't know anyone before and didn't like anyone when I got there! Had a rubbish time, it all went very Jeremy Kyle, and it's a weekend of my life I'll never get back. Having said that, I being it up all the time when I don't want to do something family related and I am still getting passes issued because of it.

Thankfully I won't be having a stag do. Personally I can't think of anything worse (well OK, possibly a few things spring to mind, like Voting Tory, or having sex with Anne Widecombe).

Actually... don't go. He'll only have asked you to be polite, or he's been forced too. Probably the latter. He'll now be hoping and paying to god you say you can't make it. Then he can get upto all sorts of stuff without having anyone directly related to report back

or having sex with Anne Widecombe

Is that possible?

Go. If you're missing the drinking part then the activity part is a perfect way to "bond" with them. In my eyes, there are a few reasons.

1. You'll get to know a few other people.
2. You get browny points for basically giving up 1 day, which is nothing for a bit of family harmony
3. You may just enjoy it.
4. Even if you don't, it's 1 day, it's not the end of the world.

I'm a bit biased here in that my stag do was this weekend and I had a wonderful time. As did my dad, my wife to be's dad and her brother. The latter 2 did not really know anyone when they got there. By the end of the day they were all mucking in together and had a great time.

MTFU - go or don't. People will get over it.

Personally I think you should go with an open mind, who knows you might even get to know/like the BiL and the rest of the posse.

You're beng too negative IMO.

Why not see if you can drag a mate along with you? I went on my future BiL's stag do to Les Arcs a few years ago - didn't know him that well and didn't know any of his 12 mates who also went. Fortunately, he'd anticipated that and also invited one of my mates who he'd met only a couple of times. Had a great weekend - probably the best stag do I've been on, mainly cos it was the first time I tried mountain biking and now me and my mate who tagged along are keen bikers as a result. Also made the wedding much more of a laugh cos I'd met all the lads before.

Had the same thing a couple of weeks ago, only knew the groom. Just get pissed, then everyone loves you anyway.

As mentioned above, stags are guaranteed to make the wedding more fun as you're mates with loads more people than just the circle through which you know the couple. Get involved.

100% go!! You will DEFINITELY regret it if you don't, and you will probably end up really enjoying it when you get there anyway. Unless they are all massive plums, in which case you will have to find that out sooner or later. Just don't get drunker than the stag! (Not speaking from personal experience of course 😳 )

Go - plenty of stag dos I have been on have had numerous people from the stag's childhood, past, extended family etc etc and it always ends up with everyone gelling and having a good time.

Ultimately it is a bunch of blokes, being allowed out by their respective women to go and do bloke stuff like guns, quad bikes, strippers and drinking. Why would you not go?

I went on my brother in laws, I have nothing in common with him at all and was going mostly for free karting. Some of his mates were pretty kool and I had a good time!

(still don't really click with him though....)

I[m not going to my brother in laws stag for severalreasons.

1. Its inmunich and way to expensive
2. his mates are all dicks
3. there just getting pissed for the weekend and im not that kind of guy anymore.
4. I'd rather be biking or kayaking,which i will be doing before there wedding too.
5.even though my sister is my twin we ar not close at all soi dont feel bad.

Find out where they are having drinks on the Friday night and put £50 to £100 behind the bar.

Then either go on the Saturday and be a hero....or don't go and still be a hero.

Its a win win situation!

You're lucky enough to miss the acting the dick thing on Friday. going to the activity thing probably won't be all that bad as at the very least you'll have something to do for the day. Give it a go.

Don't go.

Life's too short to do stuff you don't want to do. If the only tenuous link to the event is the BiL then don't go.

Just get completely pissed and therefore oblivious.

I didn't want to go to my brothers stag (based at his house) do with his holier than thou pretentious mates, but convinced him I should bring my best mate. We then alienated ourselves in thier eyes by drinking his entire weekend lager stash on the first Friday night, then getting to lecherous vomiting stage by 1am Saturday night in the pre arrange clubbing event. I think the final straw happened when we returned home at 3am only to accidentally let his new kittens out the door. This of course let to 2 raucous pissheads runninh around shouting "pussy" orientated comments withiin his gated community. Oh how we laughed the next day. 😀

Over the next few days they sipped a couple of martini's and distances themselves from us. So all in all I had a great time and didnt have to hang out with a bunch of despicable toffs, whilst maintaining the fact I'd made the effort to turn up.

It's a weird thing though inviting someone you don't really know to a weekend of bonding with (usually) folk you do..

My stag do was a weekend of easting, drinking and hill-walking in Glencoe, far removed from Les Arcs or Munich! Everyone there kind of knew everyone else already - directly or knew of them.. I think they all had a great time 🙂

Do you struggle around strangers or people that you don't know in social situations OP?

Do you find it hard to go with the flow, take a chance, see how the night develops? Do you need to feel safe and secure in a tiny circle of friends?

Harsh joking aside tbh it sounds like you wouldn't be a laugh to be around. What if this bloke really likes you? Get to know him.

One day he might be there for you when you really need it.

Don't go! Stay in your bedroom for the whole 2 days hugging your knees and rocking back and forth.

Don't go! Stay in your bedroom for the whole 2 days hugging your knees and rocking back and forth

Genuine 😆

I went to my brother-in-law's stag do...a bicycle-borne Cotswold pub crawl. Sensibly, the other halves turned up en-masse at the end of the night with plenty of bike rackage affixed to their cars.

It was nice to be invited and I'm glad I went.

binners - Member
Go. Egg all his mates on to force him to shotgun cans of Special Brew, while doing alternate tequila slammers, then bay like a gang of jackals as you force him to sit at the front of a lap dancing club for private dances, then make him drink more until he grand slams and passes out. Then shrink wrap him to the bonnet of Horas car

Eee. I remember finishing a ride only to find my car industrially shrink-wrapped 😀

If you dont like him dont go .Just because he is marrying into the family doesnt mean you have to get on with him

Meeting a load of new people and doing a fun stag do activity? Can I go?

MTFU and be social!

What is the fun stag do activity?

So just turn up at the activity and make sure you are better than everyone but without visibly trying too hard, then buy everyone a beer for the privilege.