[Closed] Bricking It If I'm Honest

Look after No 1 and your wife.

Honestly, life IS too short for ****like that at work.

Hope your wife is getting the right treatment.

In the opinion of this Internet nobody: you'll be fine and you're on the right track.

Congratulations you have taken a massive step towards happiness.

Good luck, 100% you've done the right thing.

Everyone has a point where enough is enough. You’ve clearly reached yours.

I reached mine 4 years ago with a ‘final straw’ moment at work and handed my notice in at a job that was making me constantly stressed and depressed. I’ve been self-employed ever since

Best thing I ever did! I’ve never looked back.

Good luck fella! You’ve made the right call! You’ll have that confirmed very quickly

my only regret is the chaps who I manage are spot on and I feel a bit guilty dropping them in it given we are already in a staffing shortfall.

Not your problem.

When you've got savings like that you are in the driving seat, not your employer!

If they've screwed-you-over: Get yourself signed off sick with stress / depression and use up your sick leave cover - probably 9 months - and then at the end to make you redundant due to long term sick. Your panic / dread is a direct consequence of the unnecessary stress they've put you under.

I spent too long working for big corporates who DGAS - you don't owe your colleagues anything and don't feel any obligation to your employer.

Well done. You've done the hardest bit, made the decision. Crack open a beer and look after your missus.

Have you raised your concerns about the site manager with his superior, if there is one? You've obviously been happy enough there for some time.
Don't get me wrong - if you're set on moving on, I wish you good luck.

9... Years... Salary... In... Savings... Do you earn £100 a year? If so, then so have I.

Edit: I mean well done and good luck!!

Quality of life comes first, this isn't a money thing it's a peaceful state of mind thing. I did the same as you 3 years ago & have never looked back. I'll never be rich in money but in piece of mind and being able to switch off at the end of the day I'm Mr McDuck rolling in gold coins

Well done.
Catch your breath, get your wife sorted and get a (better) life for a bit while you work things out.

You're one of the more amazing dudes on here; any decision you take I'd put complete faith in 🙂

Can I also suggest diversifying your admirable portfolio into a charity? I hear that Help for Bearnecessities new kitchen is a very worthwhile cause with reasonable yields*

*Value of your investment may go down as well as down.

I was in a similar situation this time last year. 20 years at the same place and was constantly stressed and anxious to the point where it consumed my life. I felt bad for leaving the other guys, but in hindsight it was the right thing to do and I wish I had done it years ago.

Unlike you, I quit with no job to go to and I had 0 years worth of salary in the bank & another 0 in savings/investments!

I'm now contracting, earning more money for a lot less hours and I can switch off as soon as I leave the office. Bought myself a new bike to celebrate once I had a bit saved up and life is good!

As you have nice buffer, take the summer off and enjoy it with your wife.

Resignation day is scary when you've been there so long, but I bet it will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders as soon as you get home, open a cold beer and relax!

I found my 3 month notice period flew by and once you've mentally checked out in your head the stress starts to disappear...

Good luck 😎

Good luck OP. Sounds like you’ve made a sound decision. Wish I had the ability to do the same. Sadly I have about three hours worth of wages saved.

Good luck MrOS. You’ve done the right thing. Time to look after yourself a bit too.

When you’ve got savings like that you are in the driving seat, not your employer!

Yes. **** you money. This is freedom. This is wealth.

You'll wake up tomorrow and think 'WTF have I been doing all these years'.

Stick the 3 years salary in with the 6 years worth, invest in stocks that pay good dividends and live off them?

Sounds like you're doing the right thing for you and your family, grats on having the guts to take such a big step (although having 9 years worth of savings certainly helps!). I hope you drew attention to the site manager in your resignation letter (unless you also have an exit interview to go to), it's not about spite/revenge but people like that shouldn't just get away with making other people's working lives a misery - once you're gone it's likely they'll still be making other people's jobs more stressful than they need to be.

9 years worth of salary saved? That would be me retiring.

I packed my job in about eight weeks ago now for similar reasons. I’m sleeping better and feeling far more relaxed and unstressed even with the added worry of finding something else to do!
No regrets (so far anyhow...)

MrOvershoot

...and I feel a bit guilty dropping them in it given we are already in a staffing shortfall.

And there is one of the best reasons to leave.

Any employer who operates like that is shit, happily burning out people for the sake of profit. If you drop dead, they may send flowers to the service, but the next day you're forgotten.

Have faith in yourself, if you're good enough to do a job at that level, you're good enough to strike out on your own, whatever path you take, and don't give a second thought to the old job. It's now the problem of your old employers.

Whatever you do, resist the temptation to kick a few heads on your way out - remember it's no longer your problem.

What you're doing is what I did many years ago, and I've never regretted it.

But start thinking about and acting on the next step immediately. It doesn't stop you having a holiday, but make it productive time.

Good luck.

I did the same 7 years ago. Best move I ever made. It gave me chance to rebalance my life - I got a lot more time for sport, I've done voluntary work, went back to Uni to do an MA and worked about 50% of the time.

The first thing I did when I left was take some time out to reassess things (and sleep).

I also had a big chunk of change in savings and investments when I left and because we live well within our means when I'm working I've still got more or less the same amount left now.

My view is now that spare money is not to buy things but to buy time and freedom to do what I want.

If I remember correctly the OP is in flour milling. There are some right ****s at site manager level in that industry. Penny-pinching people who begrudge others a living wage and compensation for trading their health to make foodstuff all year. You're best out of it, don't make my mistake and go into H&S consulting there are worse ****s there!!

Good luck to you and Mrs O

Well done, Mr O!

But, whilst your main priority will be looking after Mrs O, you'll also need to look after yourself. That might mean taking some time out for riding - without feeling guilty. Good luck!

If I remember correctly the OP is in flour milling.

OP about now:

Nine years in the bank then and given your years worked not too many left to a pension. I suspect you'll never go back. You'll reduce expenditure and start an new life somewhere else doing something different. Are you the Brummy?

Best of luck. What a great argument for having a decent wadge of savings.

What happened with the previously undiagnosed broken hip?

Good for you. I’d think about going on the sick before resigning, stick another 6 months money in the bank. I’m about to leave the ‘pool and move back over the water as it’s doing my head in a bit living in the city and need to chill out a bit. Your own health is more important than the mill. Sorry to hear about C hope things are getting sorted now. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Cheers chaps I'll fill you all in later when I'm home

Anyone else envious ?

Envious of the 9 years salary saved up? Definitely.

But job-wise I'm pretty happy at the moment.

Looks like an opportunity IMO.

Time to move on, pass the baton at work to someone else.

Go find a corner of this world to enjoy.

👍😎

I did the same thing some years ago. I look back now and wish I had done it years earlier. No job is worth continued stress/ unhappiness.

my only regret is the chaps who I manage are spot on and I feel a bit guilty dropping them in it given we are already in a staffing shortfall.

Loyalty to your employer is laudable. It's also totally misplaced.

Most companies would bin you in a heartbeat if the situation necessitated it. The guys you leave behind aren't your problem, it's the company's issue to provide adequate staff and there's nothing stopping them doing exactly what you're doing and voting with their feet.

You've done the right thing IMHO.

Well I went to see him at 4:45pm and didn't get out of his office till 5:30pm he basically crapped his pants and pleaded for me to reconsider, my response was if I do it will only be for the next 15 months at best as I had planned to go at 55 anyway.

He has now offered me all sorts of massive concessions over the next 15 months in a phased hand over to whoever and me choosing my work pattern. I said I will give him my decision next week?

I feel a lot better now its in the open and will talk it over with some trusted people over the weekend

"If you gotta go, go now": Bob Dylan.

My gut instinct is to take the offer but make it a wind down to retirement ie reduce hours.

tjagain

Member

My gut instinct is to take the offer but make it a wind down to retirement ie reduce hours.

I agree tj but its not on their terms i.e. offer I will insist that we have a meeting with our Operations Director to formalise it, he's also a keen mountain biker who I have had a good working relationship with over the last 5 years

I agree

Check your NI contributions to ensure you have a full pension allowance on Gov.uk
Then ask for a phased reduction in hours starting in July and dropping down by 1 day a week every 3 months . Then you all know where you stand, you won;t let down the team you work with. You can mentor in your replacement , and look out for other part time opportunities that interest you.
Bet you feel like a weight has been lifted and you feel relaxed and at ease ( for the first time in many years )
Hope it works out for you

Yes I feel a fair bit better
For once I'm going to be forceful
I would never use the "stress" route in going on the sick I am quite capable of explaining why I don't want to do something.
If I was to drop my hours it will be on my own terms.
I have said that my health is suffering (not said what)
As a few others have said I now feel in a position of having the upper hand and now know how desperate they are to keep me.
I will set out how I want it to progress over the next 15 months and if its not met the final letter will come out.

Will you still be able to look after Mrs Overshoot with the new arrangements?

drnosh

Member

Will you still be able to look after Mrs Overshoot with the new arrangements?

Weekdays are not really a problem as we have carers in 3 times a day and the house has all the adaptions for that, through floor lift, ceiling track hoists etc.
Its evenings & weekends being on call 24/7 and the point of never relaxing and no matter how hard I work all day once I leave in the evening I could get called at any moment.
I've spent a fortnights holiday either on the phone talking people through problems or on my laptop plugged into the PLC control system trying to stop it going haywire!
Like I said yesterday I'm glad its out in the open now and feel a little more in control, its still going to be hard over the next few months as even if I get more staff they will have to learn loads and as ever I'm the person they turn to for help & advice whatever the hour.

Just make sure that they don't make the promises now only for them to ramp up your work again in the next few months. Look after you and yours first, i have suffered with current employee and days off i've had to look after sick daughter, they are always lovely to my face only for HR to then give me grief from an office other end of the country.

scud

Member

Just make sure that they don’t make the promises now only for them to ramp up your work again in the next few months. Look after you and yours first, i have suffered with current employee and days off i’ve had to look after sick daughter, they are always lovely to my face only for HR to then give me grief from an office other end of the country.

Like I said yesterday

"As a few others have said I now feel in a position of having the upper hand and now know how desperate they are to keep me.
I will set out how I want it to progress over the next 15 months and if its not met the final letter will come out."

I've already had a phone call (through one of my suppliers) from a firm just down the road from me who said pop in for a "chat" anytime

I'm still getting over how much money you've managed to tuck away.... you obviously have never met my wife or 3 daughters!!

Hope you get sorted and that MrsO makes a speedy recovery. Go and have some fun - we're only here once!

sharkbait

Member

I’m still getting over how much money you’ve managed to tuck away…. you obviously have never met my wife or 3 daughters!!

Hope you get sorted and that MrsO makes a speedy recovery. Go and have some fun – we’re only here once!

Well you have answered the question yourself really 😉
We have no kids & my wife spends no money these days as she cant even use a tablet these days 🙁
We only had a small mortgage which is all but paid off and going out for meals etc is not an option these days so apart from the usual food & household bills I spend very little.
I give about £100 a month to various charity's and have a few subscriptions that if I was to stop working I might stop?

Sadly my wife's condition will only get worse that's the nature of Secondary Progressive MS how she remains cheerful I just don't know, she never complains about anything other than being a bit bored.

negotiate away the stressful bits, negotiate a pay rise and/or cut in hours and stay... if not offered or convinced your bos will deliver then stay in control and walk. remember if you sty, you are doing the boss a favour. you are in the driving seat, use it.

They have been taking the P for ages, on call all the time isn't sustainable or right. Feeling sorry for the people left as you have been short handed for a while, not in any hurry to get people in. Hmm the business has been doing well, getting people on call all the time, working on their holiday's and so on, making targets while short handed perhaps?

I learnt my lesson on this about ten years ago, don't pay me to be on call, don't expect me to even to speak to anyone in work over a weekend or my time off, my line manager and direct cover has my personal number and if anyone but them call's me it'll be hell to pay.

N, give me a call, I've been thru some major changes myself over the past couple of years as you know and perhaps we can share some advice with each other.

R

A new bike would help surely?

Good luck and good on you for putting you and your family first!

In my experience when people say they are looking for a complete change what they really need is the same sort of thing but with some of the bad things taken away and a bit more of the nice stuff.

Just give your notice and go when time is up.
If you are financially secure don't bother with reduced hours.
Look after your family and enjoy yourself.
100 % certain your company will manage without you.

I'm in the same boat employment wise as you, but I would see your GP before handing your notice in. Going sick because of what you have been through will help the fog clear, will give you breathing space to help your wife out, and help you reprioritise what is important for you in your life.

Plus you may highlight the fact that others are suffering because of your manager's short comings.

I’ve spent a fortnights holiday either on the phone talking people through problems or on my laptop plugged into the PLC control system trying to stop it going haywire!

I would go now and **** 'em. That is so disrespectful and falls well inside harassment definitions. Go and make your remaining time with Mrs O the best it can be.

I agree with the above post. YOu could point out to your employer that he now owes you that holiday back and has a legal requirement to pay you for being on call. Its not a holiday if you are still dealing with work issues.

Don’t stay, you’ll regret it. Your boss is just telling you what you want to hear to get you to stay and protect their business. Nothing material will change and if you were planning on going in 15 months and have plenty of reserves it’s not worth considering

Turns out you were the one who wasn’t to be pushed 😉

23 years is enough loyalty and it seems like they’ve been taking you for granted. Sounds like your time could be better spent with your wife.

Walk, today. **** ‘em.

Its always easy to give advice on others situations but I’d just stop doing the on call all the time business. Good luck. Marko is threatening to come out in the week!! Makes anything possible.