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So I'm at that age now that every couple of years along with my birthday cards, a get a little free gift from the NHS pop through the door.
To be honest - its not the most exciting package that can come through your letterbox - but then I think its probably less exciting for whoever has to open the package, and hundreds others like it each day when I send it back.
So. Question. Is it bad form to include a little packet of haribo in the envelope when I return it?
Excellent idea, as long as it's in it's own separate branded packet (unopened) 🙂
Sent mine back at the weekend with a bag of Maltesers.
I’d go with gummy worms myself.
Chocolate Cigar?
If I received a bag of sweets alongside a poo sample I’d probably give the sweets to a colleague I didn’t like
So you'd keep the poo? Noted.
So you’d keep the poo? Noted.
🙂 If it was my job (sic) I'm assuming it wouldn't be optional
The sample container was a tight enough fit on the return pack I used this am, be lucky to get a gum bear never mind a packet.
It would appear that quite few of us have been lancing turds with little blue sticks this weekend then...
^^^ LOLs
They send you a spoon perfect for minimal bike packing so it only seems fair to send them a gift in return
Mine was more like a mini mascara brush than a spoon
Lanced my poo before Christmas - went in for a couple of stabs just to make sure there was enough on it! 🙂
lancing with little blue sticks? That definitely sounds easier than aiming for the top of the sample pot squatting above the bowl!
Yup, squeeze and bump onto a had wrapped in tissue paper then scrape the stick along until it has plenty coverage. I have had worse mornings.
as someone whos seen the inside of far too many cancerous colons
its good to see that screening is done!
TBH I wouldn't be surprised if there was some funsponge regulation like "anything edible included with the stool sample must be immediately thrown away and not eaten".
And if there isn't, there probably should be 😀
Yup, squeeze and bump onto a had wrapped in tissue paper then scrape the stick along until it has plenty coverage.
There's a missing letter in there and I'm hoping it's an N and not an E
Otherwise Drac has either a hostage situation, a friend with severe kink, or a degree of spinal flexibility that is shared by 3 in 1000 men.
anything edible included with the stool sample must be immediately thrown away and not eaten
especially sweetcorn
Otherwise Drac has either a hostage situation, a friend with severe kink, or a degree of spinal flexibility that is shared by 3 in 1000 men.
Haha! Dyslexia strikes again.
My poop scoop envelope sat on a shelf for months before the wife’s nagging finally made me take a sample and send it off.
A week later I’m in hospital undergoing a colonoscopy, followed by a CT scan and ultimately having half my colon removed a few weeks later.
Caught things just in time and all is good now, but hate to think if I’d left it a year longer or if I hadn’t been sent the test kit in the first place. Life saver!
Your wife deserves a reward for that.
As an aside, the introduction of FIT testing (a close relation to the bowel screening program) has meant that:
I spend far more of my time with my finger up people’s bums.
Far fewer people need colonoscopies with all that that entails.
LEGEND! ??
as someone whos seen the inside of far too many cancerous colons
its good to see that screening is done!
As someone who had a cancerous colon at just 42, I absolutely concur! I was too young for screening, I found out the hard way. Fortunately caught it early, and I'm 2 and a bit years in remission now...
So. Question. Is it bad form to include a little packet of haribo in the envelope when I return it?
Just don't embed it in your turd... Probably won't have the desired effect!
Surprised to see that @poopscoop hasn't made an appearance on this thread.
I have a kit awaiting my attention, this thread is a welcome prod to get on with it.
What age does this start then? I'm 49, my mum had bowel cancer detected and fixed as a result of screening.
I’m 56 and had my first through the post a month or two after my birthday. My sister has been through treatment for bowel cancer over the past 18 months but I think my test was just age related rather than due to my sisters diagnosis
Should I have not taken a 2 litre (Clean) ice-cream tub? It took me a few days to fill it. In fact, I overfilled it and had to use a bricklayers trowel to scrape off the excess. I dont know how they dealt with it - it was my poo and it made me gag.
What age does this start then? I’m 49, my mum had bowel cancer detected and fixed as a result of screening.
North of the border its 50 then seems to be every two years - I've just turned 54 and this is the third one I've been sent. Think I read a news headline about plans to lower the screening age being reduced to 50 in England - is it /was it 60 there?
Should I have not taken a 2 litre (Clean) ice-cream tub? It took me a few days to fill it. In fact, I overfilled it and had to use a bricklayers trowel to scrape off the excess. I dont know how they dealt with it – it was my poo and it made me gag.
My first team as a student and everyone having to sign on with a new GP. One guy in the halls I was in was the first to get an appointment letter which included information about providing a urine sample at his first appointment
One morning we look out the window and see him waiting at the rush hour bus stop with a cafetière brim full of hot morning piss.
We all have a good laugh then ..... 'hang on. Tim doesn't own a cafetière'
What age does this start then? I’m 49, my mum had bowel cancer detected and fixed as a result of screening.
It’s 60 in England.
Hence all the gasps of “you’re far too young, you can’t have bowel cancer” by doctors and nurses in the NHS when I was diagnosed with it at 42…
Clearly cancer doesn’t discriminate on age, even if the NHS does!
If there is a higher purpose of me being on this planet at all, and even just one person is prompted into action to get themselves screened where they wouldn’t have done otherwise, then i’ll take it… But seriously… Get yourself checked!!! Don’t wait til it’s too late… ANY abnormality at all, get yourself checked by a doc, and if you don’t like what they say, get a referral to another one… I knew I had a problem, without being too graphic I was passing quite a bit of blood. I could feel a lump up in there, the GP I saw dismissed it as nothing. Obviously I was extremely unhappy at this, so spoke with the NHS and got a referral to a bowel cancer specialist. This took longer than I would have hoped (7 months!!!), but within 2 seconds of her finger going up my arse, she said that it wasn’t good and I was going to need a proper colonoscopy, and they started taking me seriously…
I caught it early… Wasn’t even diagnosed as cancer until the lump had been removed! Don’t be the one who waits long enough to find out the bad news too late!
a welcome prod to get on with it
If you are getting a "Welcome Prod" may I suggest that you re-read the instructions.
56 hear BTW. Had a letter saying that I was being offered the chance to partake in Operation Turd Lance early as part of an improved screening program. Anything that stops me getting death / cancer on me has to be a good thing!
It’s 60 in England.
Hence all the gasps of “you’re far too young, you can’t have bowel cancer” by doctors and nurses in the NHS when I was diagnosed with it at 42…
Clearly cancer doesn’t discriminate on age, even if the NHS does!
I had mine at 47. I love the NHS but they are definitely a bit behind on this
They must be lowering the age, as I had my first invitation to post some poo last week. Aged 52 and in Sussex. I recommend not asking your wife to help.
Timely thread as currently sat in a hospital about to have minor surgery following a test and colonoscopy. Glad moved to Scotland where testing is earlier.
Get it done folks!
If you are getting a “Welcome Prod” may I suggest that you re-read the instructions.
True, that's for another type altogether.
Wait for the "inspection" i got Gregg "Banana" fingers.....
funnily enough our labs paper was on the bbc this morning, the new tests are working their way through the NHS treatment guidelines approval process https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c87d4e2v8l0o
Wait for the “inspection” i got Gregg “Banana” fingers…..
Look, no hands! 🙂
Wait for the “inspection” i got Gregg “Banana” fingers…..
Try not to look him in the eye when he's slipped his digit up there...
It'll be a lot more awkward when you orgasm if you've made eye contact!
Tickety-poo, shurely? Nice to see that you are on the list for the follow-through checkup as well.
You'd have to have a love for the job to do it. Perhaps a faecal attraction.
Try not to look him in the eye when he's slipped his digit up there...
It'll be a lot more awkward when you orgasm if you've made eye contact!
"It's quite normal to get an erection during this procedure"
"I haven't got an erection?"
"I'm not talking about you"
The works at 48, radio therapy, surgery, stoma, chemotherapy, stoma reversal - 18 months in all.
Now in remission for 19 years.
Fitter now than before all of that.
Had a letter the other day notifying me that the sample kit would be arriving in a couple of weeks. Not the first one I’ve done, so it’s something to add to the morning routine. 🤷🏼♂️
A question though... Do the testers love their job, or are they just going through the motions?
well in NHS pathology & diagnostic labs... theres a tendency to attaract some rights arseholes*, the pay is shit, theres a high througflow of staff and lots of roles unfilled
* thats a bit unfair, you get them everywhere, but pathologists ime are more likely to be a bit different
ultimately having half my colon removed a few weeks later
So now it's a........ semi colon? Hope all is well! 😉