'Is that an eagle?... Oh, no. It's a post box'.
What the, wha..?
My missus.... Two masters degrees and a PhD...
Revisited a previous theme last autumn that she has mentioned a few times over the 25 years we have been together:
"Yes, what worries me is the next pandemic. It's defo going to be a virus because....... <\ComplicatedBiologyStuff>
.....It's been a long time coming but there's going to be a big one again soon. No, not like SARS, a proper big one. Modern society feels so secure and safe, big it's an illusion. It's really going to be enormous"
Have you thought about asking her about stock market futures?
She doesn’t say anything anymore, she just sits on her shelf ignoring me.
Sorry, dark humour moment. IGMC.
That made me s****. Sorry. I am a bad man.
Made me s**** too. I actually snorted 👍
Wasn't sure if it would be badly received, but glad you had a giggle over it. Wasn't sure what else to say and that was the first thing that popped into my head lol.
mattbee
SubscriberMy wife (2 degrees and a masters) always apologies to Alexa if it doesn’t recognise what she’s asked it to do.
You'll be laughing on the other side of your face after the robot takeover
Wasn’t sure what else to say and that was the first thing that popped into my head
To be honest, that's probably a very good sign in itself.
My thoughts exactly, part of the reason it made me smile too 👍
Was Hitler a Jew?
If the test devised by the Nazis had been applied to him, he would have been classed a Jewish.
This gets dined out on a lot too (literally!!!!)
"Oooh, I wonder if anyone's ever rolled a sausage in pastry, that would be the best thing ever"
My dad says it was selfish of us to go out riding on Saturday.
I’m just popping out to buy petrol as dad wants to use his petrol mower to cut the lawn not his electric one and he’s self isolating.
Any contract killers on here?
@big_n_daft thanks for your sympathies. Yes, my ex went straight to the gutter of the internet for her "knowledge". But now she knows The Truth.
Her latest crazy statement is that because she's a council employee she can't go against the latest government guidance. And yet the fact that NHS & public health have a published schedule for catch up childhood vaccinations and all government ministers advocate vaccination doesn't occur to her.
Her "Give me those rubbery silicon oven gloves things, I don't think they can go in the dishwasher, too hot for them"
Me "Err, they handle stuff coming out of the oven at 180C, I think they'll be fine with a bit of sub-boiling water"
Her "Harrumph"
My wife just asked if we have a boiler and if so where is it?
We’ve been in the house 18 years and it’s in the bathroom.
In the early days of our relationship Mrs D took her car to the garage for a once over. They called us over to show us the brakes - front disks were waffwer thin, I mean completely gone. Worst I'd ever seen.
I said to the blow 'just do them and we'll pop back' She got all concerned and asked whether we weren't being conned. I asked why and she said 'well how do those things stop the wheel'.
I explained how disc brakes worked and then asked how she thought a car stopped; 'You don't think something comes out of the wings and pushes against the tyres do yo...'. The look on her face quickly told me that is exactly how she thought they worked...
On the non-wife side of things one of my trainees when I worked in a call centre came running up to tell me the fax machine wasn't working. It was receiving faxes but not sending them. I asked her how she knew and she waved a piece of paper under my nose - 'see - this one hasn't gone as I still have it!'
