[Closed] BMW bellendery...

Sat nav to the little boys room?

Doesn't do residential addresses but can find it's way to an industrial estate in Slough?

Sat Nav without fancy 3D graphics. Works,but not as pretty as the pro version.

A tool for upper mnagement to use to guide their company in a "direction"

"Critical path" only???

[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-34488480 ]More BMW bellendery...[/url]

Just like the thread on TFI, more vacuous stuff to fill airtime. Progress eh?

It's so the sad social climbers can find there way back to their 'executive' homes. (I've seen many a house advertised as an executive home and it makes me cringe that people are so shallow as to aspire to such shite).

'executive' homes

It used to be 'Business Media' and reffered more to the fact that it would show your calendar etc on the display. Very useful and logical function, and odly enough very handy for work.

Seeing as most 3 series are purchased as company vehicles sounds logical to me.

Sour grapes anyone?

It's just a name for a system of extras, that describes their target market. Business users.

https://www.bmwbusinesspartnership.co.uk/improved-standard-specification-now-bmw-3-4-series-range/

Hardly something to get wound up about is it.

This is a joke?

You can't take the piss out of 'business navigation' for bellends, then kneel at the alter of the most ridiculous man-****y industry going, constantly creating aspirational items/upgrades, using near-comical language!

Reverb [i]stealth[/i] (cable's hidden)

Kashima Coated (it's a gold colour)

[i]Turbo[/i] trainer (?)

Pro 2 Evo (it's a professional and an evolution!)

..and let's have a quick flick through the classifieds for fairness:

Elite SuperCrono Power Mag ElastoGel Trainer!

Selle Italia Max Gel Flow SLR (it's a saddle)

Epic FSR Expert Carbon World Cup (awesomeness!)

RockShox Pike RC 29, Solo Air spring, 160mm travel, compression adjust, rebound adjust, tapered steerer, 46mm offset, 15mm Maxle Ultimate thru-axle (jizzes)

"Business navigation" is weak 😀

Try the kayaking world

Dagger make the Mamba, complete with snake logo. Other boats are called things like Whiplash, Blast, Jefe, Burn and 4Play.

Business navigation is poor in comparison.

Does it help you find your way back to your wheelhouse from outside the box?

It's so the sad social climbers can find there way back to their 'executive' homes. (I've seen many a house advertised as an executive home and it makes me cringe that people are so shallow as to aspire to such shite).

Amazing, isn't it? I went back to a lovely big explosives factory I explored once, and it's now all "executive homes" - even said so on the drive. Rows of little boxes with tiny windows, each with a big BMW in the driveway.

I only hope they got all the leaked nitroglycerine out of the soil.

turbo trainers are so called because the latin for spinning is turbo.

got to be worth points on QI

Pro 2 Evo

I love Hope, but their names for stuff always sound like they're intended for spotty yoofs in tracksuits with Burberry baseball caps.

Caravans.

Especially the ones called Swift, JetLiner etc. And the irony of being stuck behind one crawling along a single track road for 40 miles.

Especially if being pulled by The Ultimate Driving Machine

Always a nasty aftertaste of bitterness and jealousy in these threads (I don't own a BMW BTW :roll:)

Rows of little boxes with tiny windows, each with a big BMW in the driveway.

Reminded me of this 😀

It is used when "going forwards".

Puts hand up and waves!

I like it, the screen is about 50% wider so I can leave the normal sized satnav screen on the left, but can also get a detailed junction 'plan' on the right which is great for some junctions that I'm not familiar with

😀

Bentandbrokenbellend 😀

BN - have we met or did I carve you up without using my indicators? 😀

Hardly something to get wound up about is it.

and Bearnecessities +1. Now off to the mindfullness thread with you.

Interestingly, when I bought mine recently I had a choice of Business Nav or not between two cars. I chose the one without as I'd rather my car was a sanctuary from not an extension of my work environment, and of course it was cheaper. FWIW Google Maps sat nav plays through the stereo should I need it, you don't really need the screen display. With ref to mindfulness I didn't feel the need to have it for oneupmanship either.

Its the special thingy that makes me feel special 😀

Replaced my BMW business head unit with a Sony multimedia unit that works with Apple.

I use my indicators and drive sensibly btw.

Yup as Neal says it's just the name. Our work BMWs have a Business Stereo fitted, all it means is the cars are built purely for a lease spec so have different components in. Still if you want to build up anger and hatred over such things being named that or homes as executive then feel free.

the screen is about 50% wider so I can leave the normal sized satnav screen on the left, but can also get a detailed junction 'plan' on the right which is great for some junctions that I'm not familiar with

so that's why they're terrible at junctions - they're looking at their little screens!

(I had a BMW and swapped it for a monster truck)

Still if you want to build up anger and hatred over such things being named that or homes as executive then feel free.

It's not anger or hatred about "executive" homes, it's amusement at the gullibility of others 😉

[quote=bigrich ]so that's why they're terrible at junctions - they're looking at their little [s]screens![/s] <connection terminated>

Jeez, people get het up about the strangest things don't they?
If that annoys you, can you believe that Vauxhall have an Insignia named [i]Elite[/i]? Maybe I shouldn't have told you that, it could send you over the edge.

Vauxhall have an Insignia named Elite?

no, that's because it looks like it was designed on a BBC micro

For a 'premium' brand, they do seem to be tight as a ducks arse on features. A satnav [i]not[/i] having 3D display? WTF

Sour grapes anyone?

This place runs on them.

No sour grapes here and can't say I'm exactly getting that wound up about it thanks. After hearing it on a radio advert for the tenth time in a day, I thought I'd mention it.

Yours seemed to be a genome query true enough.

It's not anger or hatred about "executive" homes, it's amusement at the gullibility of others

Because they bought a home with the word Executive in? Maybe they liked the house or the idea of living in an old explosive factory. Some people even get a bit excited about such places be an abandoned, I know I do.

Right, I'm off to the garage to put the roof rack on my Ultimate Driving Machine.

🙂

Citroen Picasso?

I'm just fitting the bike rack to mine so I can drive my Orange 5 to Swinley for a gentle bimble round the blue trails before having lots of cake in the cafe*

*parts of this may not be true

How very dare you synonomise my vehicle with an globally influential artist of some fame! [s]People[/s] TAFKASTR will think I'm trying to sell it for its artistic design and imagary!

bentandbroken - Member
I'm just fitting the bike rack

Surely you mean "Social alternate vehicle trasnspotation media system"?

Kryton57 - Member

[i]bentandbroken - Member
I'm just fitting the bike rack[/i]

Surely you mean "Social alternate vehicle transportation [s]media[/s] interface system"?

That's better 😉

I went cheap and bought the Thule one instead of the BMW one so its a bike rack 😉

I couldn't afford the indicators either 😀

How very dare you synonomise my vehicle with an globally influential artist of some fame! People TAFKASTR will think I'm trying to sell it for its artistic design and imagary!

Sorry I thought you'd have an imagination. 😆

BMW bellendery...

What is 'Business Navigation' - is it like sat nav for people that have a mediocre job, but want to feel important?

Feel free to correct me....

No sour grapes here and can't say I'm exactly getting that wound up about it thanks.

Erm. To a neutral observer it does sound sour, and posting on an internet forum indicates a certain level of being would up.

I use my indicators and drive sensibly btw.

their 'executive' homes

remember there was a thread started on here asking about what car is suitable for a "professional couple". needless to say he was looking at a BMW.... albeit a 1 series.

edit: found it...

must be fast(ish) and be able to take bikes and a young professional couple. Ideally should feel reasonably premium, no bucket seats and roll cages

is there a smiley with a hald clenched fist jerking it up and down in a taunting manner?

Executive homes always reminds me of this...
[img] [/img]

No sour grapes here either, if I wanted a 'business' car or an 'executive' home I could have them. It's more of a side swipe at the way these things are marketed. No need in my opinion.

Because they bought a home with the word Executive in? Maybe they liked the house or the idea of living in an old explosive factory. Some people even get a bit excited about such places be an abandoned, I know I do.

I don't think everyone who buys an executive home is gullible, but some must be or the builders wouldn't do it 😉

Sadly all the interesting derelict stuff was completely demolished. A pity, some of the bunkers would have been brilliant to live in.

If it's the advert I have heard on the radio it is a BMW aimed purely at the business buyer because it's a more tax efficient company car.

[quote=alpin ]
is there a smiley with a hald clenched fist jerking it up and down in a taunting manner?
[img] [/img]

It's more of a side swipe at the way these things are marketed. No need in my opinion.

That's true of EVERYTHING that's for sale surely?

Not everything that's for sale is marketed, though.

I can imagine this coming on the telly...

[img] http://wheresthesausage.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5f1b53ef0120a5e83902970b-pi [/img]

...and the OP ranting "Its just a ****ing sausage!!"

😀

*sheds a tear*
*buys sausages*

Other nationality sausages are available.

Good economy from one of these 'BMW M' bikes :

[img] [/img]

[url= http://www.justrideitbikes.co.uk/collections/custom-builds/products/custom-fixie-3 ]Custom build here...[/url]

Most cars have a demographic. If you fall into the stereotypical group the vehicle is aimed at you'll probably like the marketing. Twingos are sold to women, Opel Corsas to students, Scenics to the wives of fit and forty family men, Dacias on inverted snobbery, Nissans to urban warriors who use safety/electric razors, Skodas to overweight mountain bikers, Jaguars on snobbery etc.

BMW did some research many years back that showed that their buyers liked adverts with lots to read and lots of big fancy words in the text (thus far is fact). Their buyers got beyond a simple slogan and reveled in the sumptuous eulogies in the text. ***** baffles brains and BMW know their customers love wallowing in it. If you don't like wallowing in it you'd never have bought a BMW anyway and probably find it all distasteful which makes for a brand with a highly polarised image. You either love or detest BMWs. It's hard to detest a Fiat 500 and hard to love a Ford Fiesta, and it's highly unlikely your brain automatically says */***** when you see someone in either.

No swear filter operating here, replace the asterisks with suitable words depending on whether you own a BMW or not.

At least BMW make good drivers cars, unlike the Audi front wheel drive rubbish.

Not everything that's for sale is marketed, though.

Interesting thought. Any examples?

Not everything that's for sale is marketed, though

Pedant mode - the definition of marketing is simply putting something up for sale (placing something on the market).

If you have a product, give it a price and offer it for sale, you have marketed it.

Promotion is one small bit of marketing -Advertising, Branding, Comminication, and all the 'fluffy' bit of brand image that seems to get people so worked up.

We have 2 BMW's preferred the way they drove over other cars as we both like RWD. Mines company, I wanted a coupe and didn't like the other cars I could pick from.

My house isn't executive though, which is a shame. I feel like I'm not doing well enough.

[quote=bencooper ]Not everything that's for sale is marketed, though.

Maybe not. Is it just the stuff which is marketed which is bad then?

fold very well

The ultimate bicycle hub gear

Quick folding

Comfortable

is there a smiley with a hald clenched fist jerking it up and down in a taunting manner?

Pssst! That post was meant with a bit of tongue in cheek.

Pedant mode - the definition of marketing is simply putting something up for sale (placing something on the market).

I think the definition of marketing is communicating to the customer, just making something available for sale isn't marketing. But you're right, I should have qualified it and said "Not everything that's for sale is marketed using excessive hyperbole." Or something.

aracer - are those from my website? I've never claimed I don't do marketing.

unlike the Audi front wheel drive rubbish.

It's not a real Audi if it's front wheel drive.

Interesting thought. Any examples?

Nails. Probably somewhere in the World, there are nails that are marketed, but most of the time the information from the nail manufacturer is "Here are some nails. They are 2" long, and they're in a 1kg bag".

Just a random example.

What is 'Business Navigation' - is it like sat nav for people that have a mediocre job, but want to feel important?

Sat nav for ****s, much like the cars

Awww! Do you want a lollipop?

😀 yes please!

[img] [/img]

For Dave T:

[img] [/img]

I looked for a really basic nail in Google images, here it is with its marketing blurb:

[img] [/img]

13 x 2 in. 6° Bright Steel Finish Nails (1 lb.-Pack)

For the most comprehensive selection of nails look for Grip-Rite, the most popular brand of fasteners in America. No matter what the project or what size the job; Grip-Rite has the optimal fastening solution. There are many sizes and styles of nails available. As construction materials and techniques evolve, fastener design keeps pace with the changing technology. Fastener needs vary from project to project and the safety and life expectancy of the project can be extended or compromised based upon the fastener used.

Use for trim and fine finishing work
Small diameter nail and cupped head make countersinking, filling and finishing easy
Smooth-shank design
Made to conform to ASTM F1667

I thought this bit was the best "As construction materials and techniques evolve, fastener design keeps pace with the changing technology."

I Googled BMW lollipop.

I wish I hadn't.

[img] [/img]

I got banned for suggesting people Google something far more innocuous than lolipop.

Did someone just fart?

Not everything that's for sale is marketed, though.

Yes it is. When you make a decision about what to sell, that is marketing. When you set a price, that is marketing. When you decide if selling it at that price is worth your while, that is marketing. Even if you put it up for sale without a price and ask for donations, that is also a marketing choice. A 'market' is simply the act of selling something where other things are also for sale.

[img] [/img]

Argh! That man there with the grey hair is a prime example. Probably a decent enough chap day to day (probably takes his job to seriously though). Put him behind the wheel of ah "ultimate driving machine" and he'll turn into a complete jeb end. It's almost guaranteed. Bet he parks like this aswell....

[img] [/img]

Deserves to get his car keyed.

At least BMW make good drivers cars, unlike the Audi front wheel drive rubbish.

Until it snows. Our MD used to have a BMW estate, which he couldn't even get off his drive when it snowed....

I bet he didn't utilise the Dynamic Traction Control, did he?