[Closed] bloody secret santa

The cash in a card?

STW subscription?

is that for the silly gift then?

they dont like bikes so im currently thinking a set of bibs 🙂

That irritating person who organises it every year!!

Looking enthusiastic agreeing to do it is almost as difficult as looking pleased with the gift ...

Dildo. A big day-glo one.

Goat from Oxfam

I always like to get useful presents instead of landfill novelty plastic tat. This year I've got the girl on my team a powerbank. So on the day she'll be like 'ohh errr a powerbank err thanks' but I bet she ends up ****ing using it 😁

Buy something, anything, from a charity shop. At least someone will get something out of it.

Condoms with a note telling them not to reproduce and dilute the gene pool.

Best avoid charity shop dildos.

Do what I do, just say you're not doing it.

Refuse to take part. People will call you scrooge but will be secretly jealous of your opt out. You will never have to do it again.

Another one of those things I've never taken part in and never will.

Bag of humbugs.  (That's the gift, not spurs & davros & slowoldman 😀 )

Unused Evans Gift Card?

I've declined our office secret santa this year, I really couldn't give a rats ass about it

If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.

for the cyclist in your life at Christmas?

https://www.cyclemiles.co.uk/product-category/brand/wooden-bicycle-decorations/

😂@thepurist

When they tried to coerce me into doing it I told them that someone would be getting 20 quids worth of turnips, that put an end to it😁

A (insert amount to be spent here) donation to the local air ambulance? Like a note stuck in a box saying 'thanks for your donation' and then wrapped up or something (if you can be arsed.)

Adopt a bonobo

An Action Man figure?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo_(musician)

Did not think he was that hard up, but hey, adopt him if you want...

The one year I was FORCED to do it, despite pointing out the fact that if I didn’t like them enough to buy them a Christmas gift anyway why should I be forced into getting them something they don’t want, I managed to pull my own name out of the hat. It was great seeing their reaction on the swap the gift day/meal when I turned up with nothing and received no crap!!

You all deserve to be forced to listen to slade for all eternity.

It was great seeing their reaction on the swap the gift day/meal when I turned up with nothing and received no crap!!

I'd have wrapped up something massively extravagant and not admitted to who bought it.

I like the idea of 20 quids worth of turnips though. 🤣

It's a bit late now, but really people, well Brits anyway need to learn how to say "no"

Not "oh I don't know, I don't really fancy it, I wouldn't know what to get"

or "Oh I'd love to, but I've got this thing" or all that.

Just a polite, but firm "No"

Not even "no thank you" as much I try to mind my Ps and Qs as much as I can, the "thank you" bit seems to give people the idea it's just stage 1 of a short negotiation before you'll give in.

Give no reasons, because to your they're excuses, to them they're just objections to over-come.

Be like Zammo - just say "No".

I have another 'rule' I like to follow, called '2 Nos and a lie" It goes a little like this

"Hi P-Jay, we're having a bit of a drinks reception at my Golf Club, you know, come along, meet the 'boys' check out the course and all that"

Smile, look them in the eye and... "No"

"Oh come on, it's great, the Pro will be there to to give you some tips, and it's great for networking, half the brass of the local Police will be there"

Look them in the eye and... "No"

"Really? have you ever tried Golf? It's great, gets you away from the Little Lady, bit of fresh air, you're getting a bit old for bikes aren't you?"

"oh go on then..." and then don't turn up and if they complain "Sorry, I didn't fancy it and you didn't want to take no for an answer".

+1.

I just said NO to the office Xmas party.  Crap food and drinks I dont want with people I only endure 7 hrs a day for the money.

Do what I do, just say you’re not doing it.

So so much this. Someone got my old boss ‘managing teams for dummies’ as a light hearted joke.

she raised a grievance, which took 3 months to investigate, and when the (pretty high up in the company) chap wasn’t fired on its conclusion, she resigned.

Rather than buy a fivers worth of absolute rubbish.

Ask everyone to put in fiver in the pot for charity.....  Then the winner of the silly xmas party game gets to choose the charity ?

Good luck

I just say no.  The last time I joined in I received one of those gift sets containing a miniature of Jack Daniels, a tumbler and some cufflinks.  I don't drink and all my shirts have buttons, so the "gift" is still sitting in my desk drawer if anyone wants it?

At my current place or work it's optional, so I opted out.

At a previous place of work the one time some insisted on organising it we sabotaged the biscuit tin of names with all one persons name. Honestly can't beleive no one discussed who they were buying for and on the day everyone brought in a present for this one person. Presents were shared out. No one suggested secret santa the following year.

At my current place or work it’s optional, so I opted out.

Surely it's optional anywhere isn't it?

Someone got my old boss ‘managing teams for dummies’ as a light hearted joke.

she raised a grievance, which took 3 months to investigate, and when the (pretty high up in the company) chap wasn’t fired on its conclusion, she resigned.

theres you're answer OP.

We'll look forward to an update around easter time.

Suggest a charity donation instead.  Much more productive and no bullying culture involved.

I’m no fan of office parties at Christmas but when we do it I get the person something nice and if I find something that costs a bit more but I know they’d love it I still get it.

Takes a few minutes to be nice, being grumpy and miserly takes a lifetime. Cheer up.

My colleague is getting these this year.

https://shop.moderntoss.com/products/work-****-off-socks

We are opening them over a Xmas lunch, I'm sure the boss will be impressed 😁

GolfChick

... I managed to pull my own name out of the hat....

That's when you go to town on the present (assuming no-one knows who got whom),

"Oh, wow! A voucher for a weekend in Paris and a gold watch! Thank you Secret Santa!"

Nothing like getting the tongues wagging and creating envy. 🙂

How about just keeping it simple card,  an ultrasound scan and the message "its yours"

Retired now so don't have to say 'No' yet again (must be nigh on 10 years saying no of this daft idea). Also the act of giving & receiving Christmas cards to & from everyone in the offices (30+).  A few years back I sent an email to everyone saying instead of cards I was donating to charity instead. That killed it the following year but I bet most of them never gave to charity.

I got a colleague this book last year

That killed it the following year

NIce one Scrooge.

but I bet most of them never gave to charity.

And I bet you didn't either, eh Ebeneezer?

Jesus! The Christmas spirit is strong in this thread. Just go along with it or get a job somewhere else you miserable ****ers 😀

Dildo you say:

Cat poo.